A Nightmare Came To The Place I Escaped - Chapter 19

Chapter 19

 

 

 

“What did you do today? With the Countess.”

“Oh, I learned about basic steps today.”

 

Ian nodded his head slightly.

 

“Did you like it?”

“…What?”

 

Rachel blinked without understanding Ian’s question.

 

What the heck did I like?

 

Today’s meal? Time with him?

 

“…What do you mean?”

 

Rachel didn’t understand what he was asking, she had trouble speaking up, and looked at Ian quietly.

 

Ian was looking down at his wine glass, and as he waited for an answer while he looked endlessly bored. She didn’t think he was interested in the current conversation at all. 

 

“I’m talking about the Countess. Was there anything uncomfortable?”

“I didn’t feel uncomfortable because the Countess was kind.”

 

Rachel couldn’t understand why he was asking her these things in detail when he wasn’t interested. 

 

If she said she was uncomfortable, what would be the difference?

 

What did he mean, was her time with the Countess uncomfortable? What did he mean, was he asking her if she liked the time she spent with her?

 

That was a strange question. It was an odd kind of question to ask someone like her.

 

It was Ian’s order that she spend time with the Countess, so she just had to endure it. It wasn’t important whether she liked her time with Countess Achille or not. 

 

It wasn’t her decision.

 

Rachel bit the inside of her mouth as if she was uncomfortable.

 

However, Rachel was still sitting in front of Ian in the dining room.

 

This was also something she had to endure.

 

“….”

 

Rachel glanced at Ian.

 

In a little while, he would return to the Imperial palace. 

 

She had to ask before that. 

 

As the time approached, her heart pounded unsteadily. Her hands were shaking little by little, and her palms were already damp.

 

But today, she’d decided to finally ask.

 

If she couldn’t ask him now, she would be anxious every day in the future. Of course, opening her question wouldn’t make a big difference in anything she could do. 

 

In the end, Rachel had to endure it again, but she wanted to know at least for the time.

 

“Um… More importantly, Your Majesty.”

 

Rachel, who was looking at Ian’s expression, carefully opened her mouth.

 

“A dress designer came to the mansion today.”

 

The designer took her measurements, and asked about this and that.

 

What color did she like? What fabric did she like?

 

She unfolded her notebook and catalog of various dress designs, then asked her what she liked.

 

“What about it?”

“I was wondering if you knew about it.”

 

Of course, the designer had come here under his orders.

 

Ian nodded.

 

Rachel had already vaguely guessed it, but she wanted to make sure.

 

“Was she here to make me a dress?”

“She didn’t give an explanation?”

 

Ian frowned a little bit.

 

“Did you know that she even took my measurements?”

“Yes, I did.”

 

Ian tilted his head slightly.

 

He didn’t seem to understand Rachel’s question.

 

How could you do a dress fitting without knowing the measurements? Ian didn’t seem to understand what the question was. 

 

“She looked like a famous designer.”

 

Rachel glanced back at Ian.

 

“The price of the dress was…”

 

Was he paying for it?

 

“The butler will take care of it.”

 

Ian said. 

 

He was as nonchalant as ever, as if it had nothing to do with him.

 

A dress from a famous designer.

 

She didn’t know how much it cost, but it had to be worth more than her monthly living expenses in Ravenna.

 

“Your Majesty, are you giving it to me?”

 

He nodded his head slightly.

 

“…Why?”

 

Rachel had been hesitating for a while, and finally asked her question carefully.

 

He covered her living expenses, then gave her various jewelry and dresses as gifts. She’d overheard that some nobles would do this for their mistresses. 

 

“I don’t know why Your Majesty is giving me these things.”

 

Did he want to keep her by his side that much? So much so that he would let her hold all of this in her hands?

 

‘Then, I will…!’

 

All she could do was accept it.

 

Still, she wanted to know exactly what she was, if at all possible. Rachel was trying to prepare her mind.

 

“Am I to become His Majesty’s lover until His Majesty loses interest in me?”

“…What?”

“I’m not sure because I’m foolish, so if you want anything from me, please tell me so I can understand.”

 

For her, it was all too much. The mansion, the dresses, the food.

 

“The reason why I was brought to the capital, the reason why I can live in luxury in this mansion…”

 

Would she stay by his side as his mistress until his interest waned?

 

Was that why all of the servants, and the countess, treated her like a lady? Because she was a woman who could mix her body with the emperor’s?

 

“Is it because of that?”

 

As she lowered her gaze, Rachel’s eyelashes trembled as if she was anxious.

 

“Rachel.”

 

Rattle

 

Ian opened his mouth on the spot, after breaking his silence that had lasted for quite a while.

 

Thud Thud.

 

“I told you. Just stay with me.”

 

Ian approached.

 

Rachel looked up at his face with a calmer expression than usual.

 

He looked angry somehow.

 

“Why do you look like that?”

 

He titled his head slightly, and reached out to Rachel. It was rare to see Ian with a furrowed brow.

 

“Do I look like a person who would take off your clothes, even if you said no.”

 

However, he couldn’t manage to touch Rachel’s face, and his hand fell away.

 

“If it is Your Majesty’s will, if that is what you want from me.”

“Ha?”

 

Rachel’s shoulder’s trembled slightly at Ian’s bitter laugh.

 

“I was wondering what you were thinking by yourself.”

 

Rachel looked up in frustration at the situation that was unfolding without her understanding why.

 

Now she had no idea what she should do.

 

How long would she have to stay by his side? She also had no idea what to do to get away from him again.

 

“…Rachel.”

 

Ian’s face was a little distorted. 

 

“There’s a lot I want from you.”

 

Somehow, he looked as frustrated as Rachel.

 

“I don’t want you to flinch when I approach you, don’t avoid me when I make eye contact, I want you to smile at me, and I want you to call me Ian rather than Your Majesty.”

 

His mouth curved up a little.

 

“I want you to come, and hold my hand first.”

 

He held a handful of Rachel’s hair in his hand, then he opened his hand again.

 

“I want to hold you like you said.”

 

Rachel’s brown hair slid from his hand. 

 

“But then you wouldn’t like it.”

 

Somehow Ian’s eyes looked somewhat empty as he silently watched her hair flow through his fingers.

 

Ian gently pressed his thumb to Rachel’s lower lip.

 

“I’ve missed you so much. So I just love being able to see you like this.”

 

His sharp gaze fell on Rachel’s red lips.

 

“There are so many things I want from you, but I want to be by your side the most. Please don’t run away.”

“…Why?”

“I like you.”

 

Rachel blinked rapidly.

 

“I like you a lot.”

 

Unlike normal, his voice trembled.

 

“I need you. I’m scared you’ll leave, and I don’t know what to do.”

 

Rachel frowned at his trembling purple eyes.

 

“I won’t do anything to you, so there’s no need to be so afraid. Either way, I’m just being selfish.”

 

He sighed softly. 

 

“I didn’t bring you to the capital to treat you like a pr*stitute, Rachel.”

“….”

“You’ll be uncomfortable if I stay any longer, so I’ll leave.”

 

The corner of his slightly raised mouth looked somewhat sad.

 

Ian looked at Rachel one more time, as if he had lingering regrets, and then the expression passed. 

 

“….”

 

Rachel sat still like that, doing nothing even as Ian walked out of the dining room.

 

Even though she knew she had to get up and see the emperor off, she couldn’t do anything right now.

 

***

 

Rachel was tossing and turning awkwardly in a darkened room with the lights out.

 

‘He likes me?’

 

Obviously, since Ian said so.

 

He clearly said that in his own voice, and she heard it clearly.

 

Even so, she had a hard time believing it at all. 

 

He never looked at her, and smiled.

 

Rachel was well aware of how lovely his smile was when he looked at his favorite person.

 

Ian’s eyes would close beautifully, and his smile was dazzling. This was the expression that she liked the most. 

 

Ian would always smile when he looked at Diana.

 

However, Ian never smiled at her like that. That smile had never been hers, but he liked her.

 

His words were obviously false. 

 

The indifferent expression that he looked at her with was not the same as when he looked at someone he liked.

 

So, he didn’t like her.