Chapter 49 – Explicit and Clear

“How’s Alica?”

“She’s asleep now.”

“How was today’s meal?”

“She only had lemon water and some fruits.”

“I’ll have to ask them to get more fruit,” Cabellenus muttered in a subdued voice.

The fact that he had to accept the reality of her not being able to eat properly didn’t feel very pleasant.

Every time he saw Alicia, who was gradually becoming thinner, he could only feel a surge of frustration.

“We’re not short of fruit. But…….” Mrs Morco cautiously began, observing Cabellenus’s countenance.

Cabellenus noticed the anxiety on the old lady’s face and immediately frowned.

“What’s the matter?”

“My lady wanted to eat her mother’s soup, so I looked for the ingredients…….”

“How was the search?” Cabellenus interrupted even before Mrs Morco could finish.

The only thing that was worth betting on was now the soup Alicia’s mother made.

“I haven’t found them all yet. But…….”

“What is it? If there’s a problem with the supply and demand of the ingredients, then…….”

“Most of the ingredients in the soup are poisonous.”

“What?”

A hot breath escaped from Cabellenus’s mouth. 

He suddenly felt as if his head had been hit by a huge hammer.

“There is a possibility that they ate poisonous herbs without knowledge due to hunger, but I believe that is unlikely.”

“Why?” Cabellenus asked back in a slightly anxious voice.

He didn’t want to admit the assumption that came to mind.

“The famous poisonous plant, Pataran’s roots, and even another ingredient, the flower of Vex, are both difficult to obtain as they only grow on cliffs, and they also aren’t commonly found poisonous plants.”

“Do you know what that means?”

“Yes. I know. That’s why I’m only telling Your Grace and not my lady.”

Mrs Morco gave a long sigh.

Currently, Alicia was weak in body and mind.

Alicia would collapse if she knew that her mother, whom she had loved so much, had tried to kill her.

“Is there any possibility that you were just mistaken? There are many similar plants.”

“Pataran and Vex are both plants that cannot be confused with others. In particular, for Vex, many people don’t even know such a plant exists. It’s impossible to know where the flower of Vex blooms if you aren’t knowledgeable about plants.”

Mrs Morco smiled bitterly.

When Alicia spoke about her mother, Mrs Morco’s heart ached at how happy Alicia was.

“……Don’t tell Alicia about this.”

“I also think the same way. What she needs now is psychological stability. So, I believe we should resume painting classes again.”

“Painting class?”

A face instantly came to his mind at the mention of the word “painting”.

Cabellenus let out a brief sigh when he recalled the young painter who he wanted to forget.

“Since there are large psychological factors, I think it would be nice for her to do something that soothes her mind.”

“But…….”

“Of course, the classes will be conducted without overwhelming her. I’m going to continue watching from the side.”

“…… I guess it will help.”

The presence of the young painter was still annoying, but for now, Alicia’s recovery was a priority.

If it was any help at all, he had no choice but to concede.

“I don’t know how useful it’ll be, but I have to do everything I can right now.”

“…….”

“My lady has been wanting to paint.”

‘Your Grace’s picture.’

Mrs Morco deliberately swallowed the last few words and only gave a faint smile.

Fortunately, even if Alicia did not have her mother, she now had Cabellenus.

* * *

“It’s been a while.”

“…….”

“What’s wrong?”

“It’s because my lady seems to have become a lot thinner during the time we did not meet.”

He tried to act calm, but he couldn’t stop his voice from shaking.

James slightly wrinkled his nose as he glanced at Alicia, who was noticeably skinnier.

He didn’t know what happened to her while he was away, but what was certain was his heart sank the moment he saw her.

“I’ve been a little sick.”

“What happened? Are you okay now?”

“I’m all right.”

Even though she didn’t look well at all, Alicia casually said she was fine.

James disliked the response, but he reflexively bit his lower lip.

If he didn’t shut his mouth, he thought he’d say something useless.

“I’m really all right. It’s getting better.”

Despite not being able to eat most foods, thanks to everyone’s care, she was getting better little by little.

‘I couldn’t eat my mother’s soup after all…….’

She tried not to show her disappointment, but she couldn’t help it.

Still, Alicia couldn’t forget her mother’s soup.

“May I ask what kind of disease it is?”

“It’s not a disease. The doctor said it’s just psychological.”

“Psychological?”

“The doctor said I’ll be all right if I take it easy. That’s why I started painting class again. When I learn painting from Nixon, I definitely feel at ease.”

“…….”

Alicia did not explain any further, but that was enough for James.

In the end, Alicia learned about the truth.

Even if Cabellenus used all his power to block Alicia’s ears, there were already many stories in Schwarhan that Cabellenus would be engaged on the premise of marriage.

‘Sh*t.’ 

James silently cursed, chewing on his innocent lips.

His heart throbbed at the guilt of not being by her side when she was having a difficult time.

“My lady.”

“Yes, Nixon.”

Contrary to James’s chaotic mind, Alicia was just calm. But that only made James feel increasingly more complicated.

Not only would the lady have to live in captivity like a dead person, even calling people by their name would be interfered with. It was clear that he would marry another woman, but the lady would have to be indifferent, and it would be endlessly pitiful.

Just like his sister who died miserably.

“……Are you really all right?”

“I’m really okay, so don’t worry about it. I’ll get better soon.”

A light smile spread across Alicia’s mouth.

As the symptoms continued, Alica became anxious, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t okay.

It was completely different from the time when she had to endure it alone.

Since she knew how much everyone cared for her, she wasn’t afraid of the unknown illness.

“My lady…….”

“Don’t look like that. I’m really okay.”

Alicia smiled again, but in James’s eyes, it just seemed pitiful. Even his deceased sister had such a face before she passed away.

Despite the apparent misfortune, she laughed and said that it was okay as she wanted to trust the man she loved until the end.

“If I wasn’t okay, I wouldn’t have been able to fill up the sketchbook you gave me.”

“You’ve already filled it all.”

“I happened to have a lot of spare time.”

Alicia smiled awkwardly.

There was no problem drawing even though her body was weak from not eating much. On the contrary, the only way to get rid of the nauseous feeling was to focus hard, so she had no choice but to pick up a pen from time to time.

“……His Grace.”

The sketchbook contained drawings of landscapes, Mrs Morco and a maid, but most of the sketches were of Cabellenus.

“I told you before that I wanted to draw a portrait of His Grace. So I’ve been practising.”

Alicia wiggled her fingers.

She felt like her skills had improved, and she was quite satisfied with her drawings of people. 

But, oddly enough, whenever she drew Cabellenus, she always felt sad.

When she drew the front view, she would want to draw the side view, and when she drew an expressionless face, she would want to draw a smiling expression.

Unlike when Alicia just glanced at him, when she was drawing a picture, she had no choice but to focus more on the man’s face, expressions, and even actions, and the more Alicia drew, the more she wanted to see him in person.

“How is it? Is it okay?”

“Yes, you drew really well,” James chuckled, but he couldn’t take his eyes off Alicia’s sketchbook.

Drawings contained one’s heart.

Even without asking, he recognized what Alicia thought of Cabellenus, and it made him even more anxious.

“I think you can now paint a proper picture, not just a sketch.”

“Really?”

“If you don’t mind, from now on, why don’t you try painting directly on the canvas instead of just sketching?”

“I still don’t think I’m good enough. Will it be okay?”

“It’s necessary to complete a painting for you to make progress. Imagine you’re practising colouring and draw comfortably.”

Alicia pondered for a moment and soon nodded.

“Okay, I’ll do that. Instead, Nixon has to help a lot. All right?”

“Of course. Well, Mrs Morco, can I ask you to prepare the necessary tools?”

Instead of answering, Mrs Morco nodded.

James checked that Mrs Morco had left to prepare the tools and quickly spoke to Alicia.

“My lady.”

“What? Do you have something to say to me?”

“No matter what, I’ll be on your side.”

“Huh?” Alicia’s eyes widened at the unexpected promise.

But James didn’t stop talking. He didn’t have much time to chat to Alicia while avoiding Cabellenus’s watchdog.

“If you want to give up on everything, I can help you.”

“What do you mean? Why do I need to give up…….”

“I know I’m not in a position to say this, but I don’t want my lady to end up like my sister.”

“Ah…….”

Alicia opened her mouth slightly.

It turned out James misunderstood the relationship between Cabellenus and her.

“I roughly understand why Nixon is saying this, but my relationship with His Grace is not what you think.”

“Do you know what is in my mind for me to say this?”

“I didn’t show it then, but I knew what it meant to be a flower.”

[T/N: In Chapter 39, James mentioned that his sister “was a beautiful person as a flower” where he ambiguously tries to tell her that his sister met misfortune since she was “a flower” i.e. a noble’s lover.]

“…….”

“I know you didn’t mean any harm. So you don’t need to feel bad. I know you said it because you were worried about me.”

He could not understand why this woman was smiling in the midst of this.

James’s lips trembled so he firmly pressed it together.

Even though it was an unpleasant topic, Alicia didn’t look particularly upset as she spoke about it.

“But, I am not His Grace’s lover.”

She just drew a clear line, her eyes filled with confidence.

“My lady.”

“I trust His Grace. That’s why I’ll stay by his side, and I’ll continue to do so.”

“……You’ll be unhappy.”

“I won’t. I’m happy to be by His Grace’s side right now.”

She used to be anxious, but not now.

Now Alicia had confidence.

“You don’t mind living in the shadows.”

“I will not be living in the shadows.”

Alicia shook her head firmly.

Cabellenus promised to take her as his wife. There was no reason to waver.

“His Grace will marry the Princess of Christie Kingdom.”

“There must be a misunderstanding, but His Grace…….”

“Don’t tell me you still don’t know about it?”

James’s face crumpled noticeably.

“What do you mean?”

Alicia stared blankly at James with a bewildered gaze.

James’s face became more wrinkled.

“He, of course…….”

“My lady, I have brought the tools you asked for.”

“…….”

“…….”

“What’s wrong? Is there a problem?”

Mrs Morco, who was accompanied by a servant holding the art tools, tilted her head.

Alicia took a quick deep breath and immediately shook her head.

“No. It’s nothing.”

“My lady, if you’re not feeling well…….”

“I’m fine. Could you set up the canvas right away? I want to paint.”

Alicia was nervous that Mrs Morco would notice, but she only seemed concerned about Alicia’s health and had no doubts.

The smile that Mrs Morco had taught her had now reached a level that fooled her.

Alicia was relieved by that fact and grabbed the pen, pretending to be all right.

But, no matter how much she tried to concentrate, she couldn’t help but worry about what James couldn’t say.

‘The Princess of Christie Kingdom……. Perhaps, it’s the youngest princess?’

Alicia’s eyelashes shook like petals fluttering in the wind.

She had never actually been there, but she heard about the Kingdom of Christie.

Her half-sisters always talked about the youngest princess of Christie Kingdom. They frequently complain that the rumours were exaggerated and that if Neinstein were stronger than Christie, they, themselves, would become the most beautiful women on the continent.

When her thoughts reached that point, Alicia couldn’t draw any more and put the pen down.

It wasn’t that she didn’t believe in Cabellenus.

The Cabellenus she encountered wasn’t a man who would lie to win her heart.

James must have misunderstood.

Nonetheless, she couldn’t help but feel upset.

After all, no matter what, Cabellenus was hers.

Whatever the reason, the sensation of being robbed of what was hers wasn’t pleasant at all.

She was jealous. This feeling was very explicit and clear.