Chapter 54 – Child

‘I wanted to firmly tell him not to get engaged.’

Everything was upsetting, but in the end, it was her situation that bothered Alicia the most.

Even if the words, “don’t get engaged,” were at the tip of her tongue, she couldn’t say it because she knew she couldn’t do anything for Cabellenus.

‘If I still had my powers, I could have said it.’

Alicia’s closed eyelids trembled.

Her eyelashes were already wet.

She was the one who chose to be alone, but ironically, she wanted someone to be by her side.

As she tried to endure the pain alone in a dark room, she remembered the hellish time she thought she had forgotten.

Alicia curled up her body into a tighter ball, trying to suppress the memories of that day.

It was then.

She felt something moving inside her belly.

Alicia stiffened. She then nervously lowered her hand and wrapped it around her belly.

The sensation was only for a fleeting moment, and now she felt nothing.

However, the thought of disregarding it made her feel restless.

‘Perhaps…….’

Alicia kept her hands on her belly and swallowed dryly.

The doctors clearly said she wasn’t pregnant, but the symptoms she was experiencing were difficult to explain unless she was pregnant.

And above all, the power she felt a little while ago…….

Alicia cautiously looked down.

Even though it was just her assumption, Alicia felt like she was about to burst into tears at the thought and firmly bit her lip.

She could merely just be mistaken.

But right now, she missed people too much.

She desperately needed a being that she could purely love and be loved back, without needing to think about anything.

Alicia stroked her belly over and over again as if searching for the presence of a child.

But the answer she wanted didn’t come back.

“Why aren’t you answering me? Is it because I said I didn’t want you? If not…….”

Alicia’s hand, which was touching her belly, stopped for a moment.

What if a child existed? And, what if the child had the same power she used to have?

When her thoughts reached that point, her mind turned blank.

“…….It’s because of me.”

Alicia wrinkled her face and breathed out a dispirited sigh.

Everything finally made sense now.

The reason why they couldn’t find the child’s existence was because she didn’t want it.

The child was merely granting Alicia’s wish.

Realising that, she could no longer suppress the tears that leaked out.

The child in her belly had no ability to perceive things.

Instead, the child in her belly was just instinctively acting as its mother wished.

The unborn child was watching the world even before it knew it.

“I’m sorry. I’m really sorry…….”

Alicia closed her eyes and apologised again and again.

And at that moment, she felt something wriggling in her belly.

“Ah…….”

Alicia couldn’t stop the cry from leaking out and covered her mouth with both hands.

This time, it was such a distinct fetal movement that it couldn’t be an illusion.

It was a child.

There was a child in her.

Alicia couldn’t stop crying and just covered her face with both hands.

She thought she didn’t need anything like a child, but now its existence felt so great.

She wasn’t alone.

“Baby…….”

As Alicia sought for the child, her voice trembled, but at the same time, was more desperate than ever.

And, as if responding to her, she felt the movement again.

“You……. I miss you. I need you, truly.”

Alicia wrapped her arms around her belly and hugged it.

She was glad to feel the movement in her belly resonating like an answer.

* * *

‘This is…….’

Alicia turned her head with vacant eyes.

She must have fallen asleep in the bedroom, but nothing familiar was in sight.

There was only an endless snowfield.

Alicia looked around and cautiously stepped forward.

Every time she stepped on the pile of snow, she could hear a vivid crunching sound, and every time she exhaled, her frozen breath turned white.

But strangely enough, it wasn’t cold at all.

‘Why?’

Alicia stopped walking, looked around again, and then stiffened.

Since a while ago, there was a mysterious dark figure watching her from afar.

Alicia looked at the figure for a moment and then slowly stepped towards it.

It was a strange shape, but she didn’t find it scary at all.

Instead, it felt rather friendly.

“……Hello?”

Alicia clumsily greeted it and just smiled because she didn’t know what else to say.

Even at that moment, the black figure was staring up at her.

“You’re so small.”

Alicia carefully crouched beside it.

She couldn’t tell from afar, but the black figure, seen up close, was very little.

It looked like she could hold it with one hand.

“Would you like to come over here?”

Perhaps it was because she was going through an unimaginable situation, without much thought, the words just popped out.

“Are you scared?”

The black figure stared at Alicia and shook its head.

“Then?”

“…….”

“Are you unable to speak?”

The black figure nodded this time.

Alicia thought it looked like an obedient puppy.

Although it was as black as a shadow, the dark figure was in the form of a four-legged beast.

If she had to classify it, it looked like a puppy.

“But it seems like you can still understand what I’m saying.”

Alicia carefully reached out her hand. As if waiting, the black figure rubbed its face against her palm.

It looked like it was trying to act cute.

“Do you like me?”

*Nod–* 

“We’ve just met for the first time today.”

*Shakes head–* 

“This isn’t the first time?”

*Nod–*

Alicia furrowed her brows.

Even though they were having a conversation through head gestures, she couldn’t help but feel frustrated.

“Who are you?”

The black figure stared up at Alicia without a response.

As if it wanted her to recognise it.

Alicia’s parted her lips slightly.

Only then did she notice the eyes of the black figure.

The eyes of the black figure were grey.

It was the eye colour that her grandmother passed on to her mother, and the ones that her mother passed on to her.

“No way…….”

Alicia’s voice trembled.

The black figure gingerly glanced at Alicia and softly placed its front paws on her knees.

It seemed like it wanted something from Alicia.

Alicia hesitated, not knowing what to do, and then carefully picked up the black figure.

The black figure, which was suddenly lifted in the air, slowly blinked its eyes. It then gently wagged its furry tail.

“Umm…….”

She didn’t know what she was supposed to say.

Alicia nervously gulped as she looked at the burdensomely affectionate eyes that were directed towards her.

In the meantime, regardless of Alicia clumsily holding it, the black figure busily rubbed its cheek against her to express its joy.

Alicia held the black figure amid the warm welcome and waited for a while, still confused at what she should do. She gulped nervously again.

The black figure was small, but it had an unmistakable warmth.

After confirming that, she felt more courage than before.

“……I honestly don’t know what to say to you right now. But, I want to apologise.”

The black figure’s ears perked up.

Alicia pondered for a moment. She then brought the figure closer into her arms and patted its back.

At first, her touch was awkward, but after repeating it several times, she got used to it.

“I’m sorry. I said I didn’t want you.”

‘And thank you. For being by my side now.’

Alicia smiled faintly.

The black figure stared intently at Alicia as if trying to observe her expression and soon nestled into her arms.

Rather than understand Alicia’s words, it looked it was just waving its tail in goodwill.

Knowing this, Alicia stroked the black figure’s head.

The black beast didn’t have a particularly likable appearance, but seeing a little creature trying to somehow appeal to her made her heart flutter.

At a glance, the child didn’t know anything and merely used its powers.

It just instinctively pursued what Alicia wanted in order to please her.

Alicia stroked the black figure’s face with the back of her hand.

Now, she couldn’t help but know.

The familiar power that she felt in the black figure,

What was in front of her wasn’t an unknown entity.

It was her child.

The moment she realised that, like a curtain, the shadowy membrane surrounding the black figure disappeared.

Then, for the first time, she could see the child clearly.

Alicia swallowed reflexively.

It was a wolf, a wolf cub with grey eyes and fluffy red fur.

“Is that your true appearance?”

There was a moment of silence.

The wolf rolled its round eyes and nodded cautiously.

Alicia got all choked up when she saw that.

With its tail drooping weakly, she could clearly see what was in the child’s mind – it was earnestly waiting for Alicia’s reaction.

“Pretty.”

“…….”

“You’re very pretty, so you don’t have to be so scared.”

All she did was smile, but the drooping tail immediately rose up.

Alicia didn’t know whether to laugh or cry when she saw how obvious the child’s emotions were, so she just released a long breath.

In fact, a child with the power would be able to hide its existence perfectly.

However, the child didn’t do so. Aside from its desire to fulfil Alicia’s wishes, it also wanted Alicia to know about its existence.

Even if it hid, it wanted to show up and reveal itself in front of Alicia.

“……You were watching me all this time.”

‘You don’t need to know about those things yet.’

Alicia curled up her fingers tightly.

“You don’t have to look at me. You don’t have to watch over me, either.”

Alicia gently nibbled on her lower lip.

To be more self-conscious than necessary – it was her habit that she disliked the most.

However, seeing that habit in her child and not anyone else felt strange, no. She was saddened.

It felt as if her heart was being ripped into a thousand pieces.

“Baby. You don’t have to try to do anything for me anymore.”

“…….”

“Stop using your powers for me.”

Alicia stared at the child, holding back her tears that were threatening to escape.

Even the power the child was using was not unlimited.

The power was bound to be exhausted one day, and the subsequent end was already determined.

“I don’t need your power.”

“Kking, Kki-ing, kking…….”

Perhaps it misunderstood Alicia’s words, but the child made an odd sound and snuggled deeper into her arms.

Only then did Alicia notice that the child was nervous.

“I’m not saying that I don’t need you. I only want you to…….”

Alicia stopped talking.

Whenever she saw the excessively unconditional gaze, she couldn’t help but be reminded of herself.

“Kki-ing…….”

Due to Alicia’s delayed response, the child’s body began to weaken.

Alicia stammered in alarm, not knowing what to do.

“Th-that…….! I meant that just being by my side is enough!”

“…….Kki-ing?”

The child’s eyes were instantly filled with hope.

Alicia hurriedly continued, fearing that the child’s body would lose strength again.

“As long as you’re by my side, that’s enough. So stop it now. You don’t have to overdo it for me.”

It just stared at her.

Alicia smiled more brightly the more it did that.

The way it kept gazing at her was reminiscent of her longing for love, so she kept feeling touched by it.

“You don’t have to look around. It’s really okay. Even if you don’t do anything, I’ll continue to like you. I’ll never hate you.”

“…….”

“You’re too lovely to hate.”

Alicia kissed the child’s roundish forehead as if to soothe it.

The child widened its eyes and soon softly wagged its tail.

Although the child was still in the form of a beast – in Alicia’s eyes – it simply looked like her child.

“Even if you don’t do anything, I’ll like you. So don’t use your powers from now on. That’s too much power for a young child to handle.”

As if it didn’t understand Alicia’s words, the child only tilted its head over and over again.

Alicia pondered if she should explain further but just patted the child’s head.

Even if it had special powers, the child was just a child.

It was practically difficult to explain the power to a child who was faithfully working on its instincts rather than judging rationally.

‘But…….’

Alicia’s eyes trembled as she looked at the child.

Regardless of whether it understood, she couldn’t let her child continue to wield such power.

To a child, the power was no different from poison.

“If you don’t use your powers, I’ll continue to love you. What do you think? Can you do it?”

The child’s eyes sparkled with anticipation as if it understood her words.

Alicia smiled bitterly at that innocent look.

She was comforting the child, but in fact, she was the one being comforted instead.

The child only gave her a slight warmth, but she could tell just by looking at the innocent child’s gaze.

That the child, no matter what, would always remain by her side.