Boyfriend For Hire - Chapter 1

During the Mid-Autumn Festival, Yang Xiao was going to take her boyfriend to meet her parents.

“So you’re sure he’s the one?” Tang Shuge asked curiously, “You’re ready to welcome a new life with open arms?”

She was sitting lazily on the sofa, her legs crossed as she relaxed in her pajamas. She had a large container of ice cream cradled in her hands too.

Yang Xiao replied as she put on her makeup, “I honestly don’t know. The main reason I’m even taking him home is because my parents are always so worried about me. I just want them to meet my current boyfriend so that they can rest easy.”

Tang Shuge nodded along, “Makes sense, Teacher Yu is handsome and elegant, and he’s also a university professor. If you take him home to meet your parents, aunt and uncle will definitely feel at ease!”

Yang Xiao helplessly replied, “How many times have I told you not to call him Teacher Yu, I’m not Degang*.”

“Teacher Yu and Degang have such a great relationship though! They’ve been partners for decades without a single rift, the average couple isn’t that strong!”

Tang Shuge waved around her spoonful of ice cream and continued, “And you two have a tacit understanding and similar intellect, this teacher of yours is way better than that cocky CEO no matter which way you look at it, right?”

Yang Xiao’s expression froze for a moment, “I kind of understand why your mother said you never did any of the chores around the house.”

“……Huh?”

“Because you’re really good at opening up the wrong pots*.”

Yang Xiao’s last boyfriend was a real-life domineering CEO, let’s call him “His Majesty the King” for now. His Majesty was a hardworking, handsome man with an excellent family background and a very large fortune.

The two met at work when Yang Xiao, who was still a field reporter at the time, interviewed the handsome and dashing King at an economic conference.

The King fell in love with Yang Xiao at first sight and immediately started doing a bunch of grand gestures like the ones featured in Korean dramas. Including, but not limited to, “The amusement park is just for the two of us tonight”, “A private jet is taking us to the Louvre to see the art exhibits today”, “Private dinner at a fancy revolving restaurant while a band plays for us”, “Wrap up all the of the clothes in the store”…

Outsiders thought that Yang Xiao was super happy being doted on by her boyfriend all the time, but in reality, Yang Xiao felt extremely exhausted. The King always acted very macho, he always had to be “the boss”, and he made all of the decisions.

Sometimes Yang Xiao suspected that the king didn’t want a girlfriend, what he wanted was just a pretty doll who was delicate and obedient.

After two years of dating, the king “mercifully” told her that he could consider having children with her.

Yang Xiao felt like something was off and asked, “Having children? Shouldn’t we consider getting married first?”

“Well,” the King said, “…it’s better to have children first, and then talk about marriage later.”

Yang Xiao was stunned.

She thought about all the stories she’d heard about and was taken aback, “Are you seriously saying I have to get pregnant first just to get married to you?  A child in exchange for a marriage certificate?”

The King shook his head, “Of course not.”

Yang Xiao sighed in relief. Unfortunately for her, the King hadn’t finished the second half of his sentence.

He continued, “You can only get the certificate if you have a boy.”

Yang Xiao: “…And what if I have a girl?”

“Then you’ll keep having babies. When you give birth to a boy, you’ll get the certificate.”

Yang Xiao connected the dots, it seemed like this domineering CEO had a problem, his family’s “royal throne” desperately needed to be inherited.

Yang Xiao immediately told him that it was “GAME OVER” for them and that there was no way she would accept the whole “get on the bus first and fill out the ticket later*” thing.

The King was shocked and exclaimed, “What’s wrong with getting on the bus first and paying for the ticket later? You work before you get paid, you eat before you pay when you go to a restaurant, and you shop before you pay when you go to the supermarket!”

Yang Xiao sneered, “So when you get old, should I just cremate you first instead of waiting for you to die?”

“……”

Yang Xiao had always been a firecracker, and she wasn’t one to waste any time either. The day after they broke up, she’d already packed her bags and moved out of the King’s house and into her best friend’s apartment.

She didn’t take anything that she didn’t buy, whether it was jewelry, purses, or any of the nice clothes he’d bought her…

She had never wanted expensive gifts from him anyways, all she wanted was a partner with a similar heart.

After the breakup, Yang Xiao changed jobs and moved from the front stage to working behind the scenes. She was busier with the new job, but even though she had less time, she made more money.

Originally, she didn’t want to get into another relationship again so soon, but feelings could be so unpredictable and sudden. She met Yu Huaibo, an assistant professor at Huacheng Foreign Language University, at a friend’s party.

Professor Yu was ten years older than Yang Xiao and he carried the air of aged maturity. He had a gentle personality, and with his white shirt and gold-rimmed glasses, he was simply a walking hormone generator.

So after serious consideration, and a year of having a stable relationship, Yang Xiao decided to take Yu Huaibo home to meet her parents.

* * *

The home visit, which was set for the Mid-Autumn Festival, fell on a weekend.

For this reason, Yang Xiao made some time to get a beauty treatment and new eyelash extensions in preparation. By the end of everything, she was glowing from top to bottom, all of the money she’d spent was in exchange for the taste of happiness.

While Yang Xiao was applying her makeup in front of the mirror, Tang Shuge got a phone call from her boss asking her about work.

Once she hung up, Yang Xiao asked her worriedly, “TangTang, how’s your new job going?”

“This new job is amazing! Less overtime, a promising future, and the boss said that it’s being financed now! So when round A is done, we can just relax and wait for our share of the money!” Tang Shuge exclaimed happily.

Yang Xiao, however, wasn’t so optimistic, fearing that this best friend of hers would be fooled and sold on the online black market.

Tang Shuge had bad luck with work for some reason. Every job she found, within six months the company had to close down. She, however, was quite the optimist and always said that internet and media companies that could last for a long time were rare anyway. She said that she was just trying to make a living, so as long as the company didn’t default on her salary, she was fine.

Yang Xiao continued questioning her, “What does your company do? What kind of projects do you have?”

Tang Shuge took out her phone, tapped on the screen, and handed it over, “Look, our company developed an app, it’s the blue one!”

Yang Xiao took a look and saw a sky blue icon, and when she opened the app, several pictures of beautiful men popped up. Under each picture, different prices were marked.

Yang Xiao dumbfounded: “…So cowboys can be ordered for delivery now?”

“What the heck?” Tang Shuge gasped, “Oh, it’s our company’s project! The must-have app for city girls – ‘Rental Boyfriend’!”

According to her, their company offered rental boyfriends as their business. They could be rented for hours, days, and week packages to help single girls get rid of “crazy suitors”, “workplace sexual harassment”, and “family marriage pressure”. The company offered a wide range of men from mixed race to ethnic minorities, from older gentlemen to young wolfdogs. So basically, all kinds of men were available.

Yang Xiao asked suspiciously, “After all is said and done, you guys are still cowherds gathering your cowboys. What’s the difference between your company and a nightclub, except that you sell their acting and not their bodies?”

“Of course there’s a difference!” Tang Shuge said, “We can invoice the purchases!”

Yang Xiao clasped her fist: “You know what? I admire that!”

* * *

Today was actually Yang Xiao and Yu Huaibo’s first anniversary. Their plan was to go to a hot spring on the outskirts of the city, stay there for the night, and drive straight back to meet Yang Xiao’s parents at noon.

The two of them arranged to meet in front of Yu Huaibo’s university.

Since Yang Xiao arrived a little early, she waited in the shade at the school entrance.

She was debating whether or not to call Yu Huaibo when she saw his car pulling out of the school gate.

Yang Xiao was about to wave her hand to greet him when she noticed the car slowly pulling over to the side of the road, and a few minutes later, a young girl stepped out of the passenger seat.

Footnotes:

1. Referred to the crosstalk (comedic dialogue) actors and partners, Yu Qian and Guo Degang. In their dialogue’s Degang has referred to Yu Qian as Teacher Yu.

2. 哪壶不开提哪壶 | A Chinese idiom for talking about a sensitive topic or a person’s private matter. Basically, what was said shouldn’t have been said.

3. 先上车后补票 | Chinese idiom that refers to a man and woman falling in love and having children without having a marriage certificate.