Boyfriend For Hire - Chapter 3

Nice to meet you, I’m your boyfriend (1)

“What?! You guys broke up?!”

Tang Shuge, who had been sitting on the couch watching dramas, immediately sat upright. Completely forgetting about the half-eaten watermelon in her arms, she hurriedly asked, “Why did you break up with him ah? Wasn’t today your first anniversary?”

As her best friend, Tang Shuge was really worried about Yang Xiao: “Did you guys have a fight and then you ended it?”

Yang Xiao calmly asked, “TangTang, you’ve known me for more than ten years. Do you really think that I’m the kind of person who’d act out because of a simple fight?”

Tang Shuge thought about it carefully. Although Yang Xiao was hot-tempered, everything she did was after careful consideration. If she decided to break up with Yu Huaibo, that meant there was definitely a reason why she felt she had to.

“Then why’d you do it?” Tang Shuge was confused.

Yang Xiao had nothing to hide. She broke it down simply, giving her best friend an overview of everything that had happened.

When Tang Shuge heard that “Yu Huaibo had more than thirty secret girlfriends on his WeChat”, she got so angry she almost exploded

“Disgusting piece of trash! Shameless bastard!” Tang Shuge was indignant, “Does he think he’s some kind of love saint? It’s 9102* and he still wants to enjoy the blessing of the Qi people*?!

Tang Shuge said again, “XiaoXiao, you can’t let him off lightly. I think putting all of his girlfriends into a group chat was just the first step, you should make an anonymous post and expose his “good deeds” on his school’s forum, and then send a copy to the university board…”

“No need.” Yang Xiao interrupted her, “Those girls are all victims, just like me, and a few of them are even his students. If I rush to expose him, those trolls and straight-male “warriors” on the internet might just praise Yu Huaibo for being “capable” and ridicule those innocent girls who were tricked instead.”

After listening to her explanation, Tang Shuge gradually calmed down.

“XiaoXiao, you are so amazing ah. If something like this happened to me, I’m sure that all of my sanity would have been fed to the dogs. I’d probably be holding some scissors and on my way to cut his little JJ off.”

“At least you’re right about one thing.” Yang Xiao said.

“Which is…?”

“He really does have a small JJ.” Yang Xiao said mockingly, “Not only is his JJ small, but he always finishes too early. I thought it was because he was tired from working so hard, but now I know it was because he used his kidneys too much.”

“……”

The two best friends chatted for a little while longer, but quickly got back to the point. Yang Xiao asked Tang Shuge to help her rent a boyfriend from the app and have him meet her at her house tomorrow.

Tang Shuge patted her chest: “No problem, leave it to me!”

“So what kind of boyfriend do you want? Let’s see…Oh! A mixed-race model is having a special right now. What do you think about him?” she asked

“I’ll pass.” Yang Xiao was speechless, “I’m not looking for a real boyfriend anyway, as long as he’s male, alive, and can help me deal with my parents tomorrow, then it’s fine.”

Yang Xiao’s parents both have high blood pressure. Just last year, her father had a cardiac bypass operation so he couldn’t take any excitement. Yang Xiao had already told her parents in advance that she would be taking her boyfriend home. If she tells them that her boyfriend had cheated on her and that they broke up, the old couple may not be able to hold on.

Fortunately, she could still hire a boyfriend.

* * *

Yang Xiao finished arranging things for tomorrow just as her massage appointment finished.

She got up, put on her clothes, and caught a look at herself in the mirror. She was glowing.

She looked into the mirror and whispered to herself, “Yang Xiao, you always get the last laugh. Don’t let this small setback knock you down.”

And with that, she headed straight back to her room.

* * *

The resort covered a large amount of land, but it only had a total of twelve villa’s, each with its own exclusive butler.

When she got to the door, she saw her butler and five security guards blocking the entrance. They were frowning at her room’s door, and all of their faces looked worried.

“What’s wrong?” Yang Xiao asked.

When he heard her, the butler turned his head and saw Yang Xiao wrapped in a bathrobe. Walking gracefully from the end of the corridor, he first looked shocked and then happy: “Miss Yang? You weren’t in the house?”

“No.” Yang Xiao said, “I went to the spa. Why are you all gathered outside of my room?”

Once she walked closer to them, she heard all of the sounds coming from the room and realized what was going on.

Even though there was a door between them, it couldn’t block the hysterical yelling of the man inside the room.

“Yang Xiao, you *****, you actually plotted against me! I’ll give you a good show!!” Yu Huaibo had long since torn up his “nice guy” disguise, and instead, he was cursing and smashing things around the room.

Because of the racket he was making, the butler thought he was being violent against Yang Xiao. So the butler called the security guards to break into the room to save her.

When the butler saw Yang Xiao come back, he quickly said, “Miss Yang, you’re alright! But your boyfriend…” He whispered, “… Do you need us to call the police?”

Yang Xiao’s heart moved and she immediately realized the chain reaction that Yu Huaibo’s scene set off.

Even if the police did come, they wouldn’t be able to arrest Yu Huaibo for cheating on her with thirty other women. Moreover, all Yu Huaibo’s really done is smash some things,  he didn’t actually get violent with Yang Xiao. As long as he had enough money to compensate the resort for the damages he’d caused, he would get away scot-free.

…But should she really let him off like this?

Yang Xiao looked at the butler and the strong security guards, sighed leisurely, and quietly said, “Don’t call the police, call…120*.”

The butler: “Huh?”

Yang Xiao lowered her head and whispered, “My boyfriend actually has a very serious condition and he’s prone to hallucinations. He’s been taking medication to control himself, so I didn’t expect him to have an episode just because I left him for a little while.”

Accompanied by her “explanation”, Yu Huaibo’s crazy roars continued to come from behind the door, and served as “conclusive evidence”.

The butler nodded immediately, and gave her a look filled with pity.

—— How awful, such a good girl was stuck with such a troubled man!

He hurriedly called 120 and told the operator that there was a violent patient in the resort. The hospital took it very seriously and in less than ten minutes, several heavily armed staff arrived with restraints.

The butler finally opened the door with a spare room card, revealing an enraged Yu Huaibo. He was standing in the middle of the room, a mess surrounding him including all of the vases and paintings he’d broken and shattered. The quilts and pillows had also been ripped apart and thrown into the hot spring, leaving cotton scattered all over the room.

As soon as the door opened, they saw Yu Huaibo’s bloodshot eyes, and his gaze was set on Yang Xiao. He didn’t care about anyone else, as soon as he saw her outside the door he was ready to put his hands on her.

Yang Xiao never would have thought that the gentle, refined man she’d been dating for a whole year had such a crazy and terrible side. She tore down the thirty relationships he’d built with sweet words, and he simply tore off his mask.

There’s a saying that you can know people’s faces, but not their hearts. Now, Yang Xiao could finally see him clearly.

“Yang Xiao,” Yu Huaibo cursed, “I’m going to kill you!”

Watching the man rushing straight at her, Yang Xiao calmly stepped back and exposed the medical staff behind her.

In an instant, the medics and the several tall security guards had Yu Huaibo pinned down against the ground.

Yu Huaibo: “???”

As if he was splashed with a bucket of cold water, he instantly calmed down and asked in shock, “Who are you people?”

The doctors and medical staff didn’t say anything, but Yu Huaibo saw “Hospital Psychiatric Department” printed on their white coats.

Yu Huaibo shouted, “Let go of me! I’m not mentally ill! I’m a college professor! Did you hear me?! I said I’m not mentally ill!”

The two doctors didn’t change their expressions at all. They gave him a Valium, and the man who was raving like a mad dog, suddenly fell asleep.

* * *

That night’s mess could only be described as the saying “chickens flying and dogs jumping*”.

The first thing Yang Xiao did was use the card in Huaibo’s wallet to pay the resort for the damages he made to the villa. After that, she rushed to the hospital to pay his hospital bill.

As for staying by his bedside? All she can say is that it’s impossible in this life.

Yang Xiao went ahead and used Yu Huaibo’s phone to call the university’s higher-ups and told them that he was in hospital and needed to be taken care of.

The school director was stunned and asked, “Which hospital?”

Yang Xiao replied, “Anding Hospital, in the Department of Psychiatry.”

The school director: “…???”

Is this the same Professor Yu who’s a leading figure in scientific research? How did he get admitted to the psychiatry department???

Yu Huaibo wasn’t from this city, and his family wasn’t around. If nothing had happened last night, he could casually call one of his girlfriends to accompany him. But now he didn’t have anyone, so the school had to send someone to visit him in the hospital.

Before hanging up the phone, the college leader asked Yang Xiao, “Alright, we understand the situation now. But who are you to him? What’s your name?”

“My name is Lei Feng*.” Yang Xiao replied calmly, “And I have nothing to do with him anymore.”

Footnotes

1. Inverted use of “2019” to exaggerate how long it’s been since something, in this case, ancient times.

2. 齐人之福 | An idiom referring to having a combination of wives and concubines.

3. 120 | The number you call to get an ambulance, or first aid, in China.

4. 鸡飞狗跳 | An idiom referring to panic and turmoil caused by a situation or disturbance.

5. Lei Fang | He’s a well-known soldier praised for his dedication and loyalty to the people and the communist party. Since the “spirit of Lei Fang” refers to loyalty, Yang Xiao is making a play at how her loyalty to him is gone.

Edited By: Jae

T/N: What do you guys think about the idioms? Should I continue like I have been, leaving them in and putting footnotes, or would you rather I replace the idiom with its meaning?