Can I Be Loved In This Life? - Chapter 1

Prolog

[“Which princess would you like to choose?”

There were only a few people in the large hall, expressionless. The servant bowed his head for a moment and asked the emperor, who’s said to be the most beautiful and noble blood of the gods in the world.

“It doesn’t matter who it is. The blood or love of the royal family. I just need a daughter to be sacrificed.”

The emperor had been on the countless stairs that it was impossible to grasp with his eyes looked down at the women in front of him silently. Cold eyes. Looks that are sharp and cold enough to stab someone to death filled the hall.

However, unlike his expression, the emperor’s mind changed every day. Now that the day of the oracle was near, he was uttering words that he couldn’t be sure of in a form of determination.

But because they were too far away, the two women looked at him with twinkling eyes, unable to hear the Emperor’s words that he only needed one daughter to be sacrificed.

From the back, they looked so identical that they were believed to be twins. However, their front view was vastly different. Their silver hair and pink eyes with a hint of red were the same.

However, one was looking at the emperor with confident eyes and the other showed an uneasy look. Bebeana, the real daughter of the emperor, and Lilian, the fake daughter of the emperor.

Bebeana, the bloodline of the emperor, bit her lip anxiously. On the other hand, Lilian raised her chin confidently, she was smiling so brightly that her eyes couldn’t be seen and looked at the emperor. There was certainty in Lilian’s eyes.

‘Father will choose me.’

It was an absolute belief. The perfect self that only those who had longed for love for a long time and finally been loved by the emperor could have made choices in the meantime.

This choice will soon separate the lives of these two women. The unselected daughter will be a sacrifice, and the chosen daughter will live forever loved as a princess. Who is the chosen daughter and who is not chosen?]

“In the end it was Bebeana, the real princess was chosen. Lilian was the one who was sacrificed, but it was the worst choice. At least for Bebeana.”

I closed the book I was reading and sighed deeply. A book of an unknown author with no title written on a pure white cover. This novel, which I like to think of as a common romance novel… is the book that I possessed in.

I was possessed by a book and I can’t believe I have that book in my hand. Sigh. In a nutshell, it feels like a play that starts while knowing the ending. I didn’t even know who I was until recently, but when I saw this book I realized that I was possessed by it.

The plot of the novel was roughly like this. An unnamed child lived begging for bread on the street until she was 10 years old. At the age of 10, the child finds out that she’s a princess and enters the Imperial Palace.

However, those who don’t have anything from the beginning don’t know how far they should receive what they are given. So when the emperor gave her good things and affection, she received nothing.

Perhaps it was because she looked like her, but the emperor strangely cares more about her. No, I thought I was going to finish it, but it wasn’t the conclusion. In the end, that love was a lie and acting for Lilian. No matter how much Bebeana longed for love, it didn’t come true.

“Phew. And that’s what happened to the main character of this body 11 days ago.”

“Princess, you must get ready now.”

“Yess.”

I jumped up from my seat at the words of the maid urging me without emotion, I threw the book somewhere and sat down on the dressing table. My reflection in the mirror. It wasn’t just an ordinary 17 or 10 years old child. She has a very pretty face with eyes big enough to be a child model.

“So pretty.”

While smiling and slightly stretching my cheeks, I let out a deep sigh. What’s the point of being born this pretty? I’m going to die soon. There’s no other choice than to die. But my fate is changing because of the fake daughter, anyone can tell that I’m the Emperor’s daughter.

It’s bittersweet. It’s a story about a princess who would have been loved and raised if her fate hadn’t changed from the beginning. I covered my slightly bitter heart and looked straight at the maid in the mirror.

“You know. You’re pretty good at this, aren’t you?”

“…Yes?”

Lisbeth who became my exclusive maid as of yesterday, widened her eyes as if she was quite surprised. What’s so surprising? I looked over the mirror. The sparkling silver hair was shining as if it was made by the moonlight one by one and eyes that were bright pink as if they were carved with jewels. Although there was a little more red light, it was beautiful enough to be considered pink. It’s just lovely. Hehe. I smiled shyly at Lisbeth, who was still bewildered and covered her mouth.

“You dress me up more than I thought. I’m sure everyone can be pretty with just this much.”

But then what’s the point? In the end, the important thing is to be a child who’ll die receiving lots of love from his father. Even when I’m staying still, I sigh automatically.

“You’re pretty. Our Princess Bebeana.”

The name that came out of Lisbeth’s mouth annoyed me instantly. My name is Bebeana. My nickname is Bebe. It’s a name that’s truly insincere. When I first heard the name, I was like ‘I’m Bebea?’ It was built to the point that I have mistaken it. It really feels like I’ve been called out.

(T/N: Na is a way to say I or Me in Korean)

But it’s a name that I can’t hate much. Thanks to the unique name, I knew that this body possessed by me was the main character of the white book I saw earlier. But what does it matter? I struggled with my arms and legs, vomiting out the anger that had accumulated in my heart.

“It’s annoying! I hate Bebeana!”

Flustered by my behaviour, Lisbeth made a slightly tired expression on her face.

“P-princess? Do you… want me to call you that?”

“No. That’s it.”

Even though I said no, she kept her mouth shut in bewilderment. Sigh. All of our maids are nice, but only Lisbeth pays attention. But what can I do? She’s the only one who listens to me. I jumped off my seat and turned to look at her.

“Sister Lisbeth, where are we going?”

To relieve Lisbeth’s expression, I smiled as brightly as possible like a child and even called her with the title of sister. This won’t make me look crazy. Like a child. Let’s act like a child.*

“We’re going to Y-your Majesty. Is it right? We’re going to the princess’s father. Ah, father is difficult… the princess’s dad! You’re going to meet him.”

She looked quite happy smiling at me, bending down as if it were a customized education. It’s the brightest expression I’ve ever seen since coming here. Lisbeth seemed to want me to get along with the Emperor or dad.

She must have thought it would be better to see the emperor for a moment than being the maid of an abandoned palace. She had no choice but to do this since it’ll be good for her future if she become the maid of a beloved princess rather than a princess who doesn’t have much to see. I have to understand.

Actually, I don’t like meeting my dad. Because he didn’t come to see me although I’m his daughter. Except for the first day I came to the palace, I haven’t seen him ever since. It was clear that he was indifferent to me, so he didn’t want to care at all. But what can I do? If she wants to, I’ll go.

“Will it be hard for you to understand me?”

“No! I know Dad!”

“I think the princess is very smart. Then let’s go now. I’ll hold you.”

As soon as her words were finished Lisbeth hold me as if my 10 years old body wasn’t heavy. Sister, you’ll lose your back. I turned my head to made eye contact with her because I felt sorry for her.

“Put me down.”

“Yes? Ah. Do you hate it a lot? I think it’s because I just became a maid…”

“No. It’s just uncomfortable.”

“Ah… Yes, I’ll put you down”

Don’t make that hurtful face. I feel bad for no reason.

“I was afraid sister will get sick.”

“What?”

“I’m really heavy. So… hmm. I’ll tell you if my legs hurt. Then hug me. And I really like sister Lisbeth so much. Pretty, nice, and you give me a lot of delicious snacks. So don’t get sick!”

Ah, it’s so hard to act like a child. I smiled broadly, even acting cute that I can’t usually do well.

“…Ah! Yes!”

Maybe touched by those words, Lisbeth covered her mouth with her hand as soon as I finished speaking and smiled broadly. Okay. I’m fine if Lisbeth is happy. Acting cute won’t kill me. Actually, it’s comfortable to hug her, but I’m a grown-up at the age of 10, so why would I? I’m not a kid.

It was then. When I left my room and chatted with Lisbeth, heading to my father who’s in absolute power, something big enough to believe that a big dog jumped in coming towards me. And I was able to recognize its identity right away.

“Jeno.” (T/N: NCT Dream?)

Even though I called his name, Jeno was busy making fun of me by flinching the bridge of his nose as if ignoring my words.

“Hey, commoner! I heard you’ve lived as a commoner all this time? You smell like a commoner.”

Yeah. Barking puppy. Where does the smell of commoners come from? He chooses to do things that are so disgusting to the point where I want to hit him. This guy who speaks immaturely in front of me is the Emperor’s second son, Jeno.

He’s two years older than me but looks like maturity left him even before he was born. I met him for the first time 10 days ago, but since then bullying him seems to have become the fun of my life, so I took a step closer and smiled at my brother today.

“Yeah. Brother smells like shit.”

“What? Shit?”

You immature brother. It’s right to treat this kind of guy the same. I stretched out my shoulders and smiled at him.

“Yeah shit. Golden shit. My brother’s a golden shit.”

(T/N: I don’t know if I can exactly explains what golden shit is lol)

“What’s golden shit!”

“The shit that only great people do is called golden shit. You’re such a noble person, aren’t you?”

“…You know how ugly you are.”

“Yeah. My brother is more ugly.”

“What?”

“Stupid. Golden shit. You shit.”

As soon as I said golden shit, Jeno’s eyes glistened in anticipation, stiffened his face for a moment, and yelled at me. But that doesn’t scare me.

“Hey!”

“Why! Don’t bleh me. Bleh!”

I ran back to hold Lisbeth’s hand and looked at Jeno who was huffing like a rhino as if he wasn’t going to leave me alone. I can’t believe I feel so happy when I tease Jeno once a day. Jeno’s face turned red and huffed, but what is he going to do? My dad the emperor told him not to touch me. Fufu.

“Hey! Are you just going to stand there?”

“Catch me! But I’m going to tell the moment you catch me. You didn’t keep your words not to touch me.”

“You… This!”

“Bleh.”

As expected, a child is a child. It would have been okay if he had touched me and said he didn’t do it, but he can’t even come close to me saying he’ll keep his promise. Oops, serves you right.

“Heyy!”