Can’t Come Back - Chapter 4

A night in the Hildayden’s mansion when everyone is asleep. Berlia was lying in bed, but she couldn’t fall asleep easily.

I couldn’t sleep today. I think it’s because I kept thinking weird things. I need to clear up my mind. It was clear that the thoughts in my head were too complicated to fall asleep at this rate.

‘I should go for a walk.’

After getting some night air for a while, when I returned to the warm room, I would get tired and sleep well.

Berlia left her room and headed to the garden for a walk.

The chilly night air greeted her. Berlia put on a black shawl on her shoulders as her body shivered by the cold air.

The garden at midnight was dark and quiet. She started walking slowly along the path. Then suddenly, a sound came into her ear.

“……oh……!”

“……ugh……”

It couldn’t be heard very well, but it was clearly a human voice.

‘Is there a thief?’

Berlia stiffened her body in fear. If it was really a thief, she had to go back into the mansion and talk to the guard. It was the moment she was slowly stepping backward,

“Ahhh!”

A woman’s voice echoed through the garden. Of course, the thief could have been a woman, but Berlia knew that the woman was not a thief. Come to think of it, it was normal for a thief to come near the mansion immediately. There was no reason to be in a garden where there was nothing to steal.

Berlia moved her steps towards the side where the voice was heard to confirm with her own two eyes the identity of the mysterious woman.

What is the woman doing alone in the garden in the middle of the night? Berlia held her breath and cautiously approached.

“Du- ……ah ah!”

“Ugh……!”

“Ha uh huh! Hng!”

And Berlia witnessed an unbelievable sight. In the middle of the night, the woman—who was the owner of the voice that she heard from afar, was not alone in this garden.

Holding a large wooden pillar with both hands, the woman bowed her upper body and took a posture with her hips pulled back. And behind the woman, a man was moving his lower body with his pants down. Unless she was stupid, she couldn’t possibly not know what the two of them were doing.

‘Who the hell is doing this in the garden at night……!’

Unknowingly, Berlia covered her mouth with her hand. No matter who they were, there was nothing good if she was caught watching them. She predicted that if they were doing this in the garden at this time, they might be the mansion’s servants.

Then she quietly stepped back to return to the mansion before each other became embarrassed.

“Ahhh ah……! Duke……!”

The woman shouted again. Berlia stopped her steps and stood still there.

‘Duke?’

She heard it clearly in her ears. The woman definitely said ‘duke’. There was only one person in this mansion who could be called the Duke.

That is her husband, Duke Dean Hildayden.

Of course, there were several other dukes in this empire, but what kind of crazy nobleman sneaked into someone else’s mansion garden and enjoyed such a secret love. Such a thing could not have happened.

She denied her thoughts. But, just in case, she wanted to check it herself. Her legs were shaking. She couldn’t see the man’s face in detail, but there was a way to tell if he was her husband or not by checking his physical characteristics.

Please, please, please. She hoped the man wasn’t her husband. Through the bushes, Berlia could see the man’s bottom, shaking his lower body with great excitement.

‘……!!!’

Were it not for her hand covering her mouth, maybe she would have screamed in surprise without realizing it. She couldn’t believe it, but the med-sized dot on the man’s right hip—which was like her husband’s, could be seen clearly in her eyes. She doubted her eyes. However, even at a second glance, nothing changed. Her face was filled with despair.

‘Who the hell are you with and why……’

And at that moment, her husband, Dean, pulled the woman’s red hair from behind.

“Ahhh……!”

The woman’s head, which had been bowed down, was raised. Her face could be seen in Berlia’s eyes. The woman was Rayleigh, Berlia’s maid.

puck-puck-puck-

The garden was quiet. So the sound of their flesh colliding could be heard clearly in Berlin’s ears. From her cries of pleasure to her husband’s gasping moans.

“Do you like it? Do you like it?”

“I like it, Duke……! It is so…ah! good…I like it…!”

“How about this? Huh? How about this one?”

“More……you can make it stronger ha ha, ah…! Oh ahhhhh……crazy, I’m going crazy, ah ah……!”

“You really like this, Rayleigh, huh? I can’t feel anything with that Berlia bitch. It makes me want to get stuck in your hole.”

“Aang! Ha……! Ugh!”

“What kind of man would be satisfied with such a woman? Huh? I, ugh…! Somehow, I shouldn’t have married a woman like that……!”

It wasn’t just that. Her husband’s shocking confession echoed in Berlia’s ears. Tears flowed from Berlia’s eyes. Fearing that her sobbing would leak out, she pressed her mouth harder with her two hands.

For fear that she might be found out by her husband and her maid, she took a breath and escaped. She rushed into her room and then took off her hands that had covered her mouth, so she could burst out crying.

“Sob….hu hu hu.”

Tears flowed without stopping. It was true that they did not get along well. But she never thought that her husband would have an affair with another woman. Besides, the woman is the closest maid who always takes care of her. Betrayed at the same time by two people she trusted, Berlia couldn’t contain her overflowing resentment and sadness.

And what was sadder than the betrayal of the two was that she was weak and powerless despite knowing all these things.

Her husband was a Duke, a great noble. In contrast, Berlia was an unstable Duchess who had not even given birth to a successor. Her family was powerless, so even if they found out that Berlia’s husband was having an affair, there was nothing they could do for her. It was so sad that she couldn’t even pretend to not know this. Berlia couldn’t stop crying all night long.

The tearful Berlia didn’t have time to realize that the door wasn’t completely closed. And there was no way of knowing that Cain was watching her cry through the gap in the open door.

***

A week has passed like that. Berlia had been a little skinny in the meantime.

“Wife, are you not feeling well?”

When he saw Berlia putting down the spoon after eating a little, Dean asked her if she was not feeling well. No matter who looked at it, Berlia looked unwell. She couldn’t eat properly for a few days. Dean had heard of all these facts from her maid, Rayleigh, but he showed no concern.

“I think it’s because I don’t have an appetite these days……”

“Oh, my. But make sure you eat soup. I’ll tell the maid.”

“……yes.”

The reason he said that was simple. Because it was annoying.

He didn’t have the energy to pour affection into his wife. It was enough to pretend to be a little worried on the outside.

For Dean, Berlia was like a pretty accessory. Dean enjoyed the envious gazes of the noblemen in the banquet hall, which were directed at Dean as Berlia stood beside him.

If he had a child from Berlia, that child would also have a good-looking or beautiful appearance like her. So he was fine with having his successor in her. For Dean, Berlia was just that.

Berlia is still young and beautiful. So it’s okay not to have a child now. But when she was old and still had no child, he didn’t know what to do then.

“Are you done eating?”

“I have no appetite today.”

Berlia finished her meal and wiped her lips with a napkin. The reason Berlia had been so skinny in the past few days was because she had witnessed Dean’s affair a week ago. Dean, on the other hand, didn’t know even in his dream that Berlia had seen his affair.

Besides, today was the day Dean departed for Cairndale, a local estate. It takes only two full days to get to the estate. He had to ride a carriage for a long time. Upon arrival, he had to settle his business in Cairndale for about three months and return to the Hildayden estate after that.

“If I head to Cairndale today, I will be back in about three months.”

“Please take care of yourself.”

In a place where a couple dines face to face, there was no warm air between them. After this time, the two had to be apart for more than three months.

But there was not even the slightest affection between them.

“Since Cain has been entrusted with most of the work related to the Hildayden estate, there is no need for my wife to worry too much.”

“Yes, I see.”

Berlia answered in a dry voice. Silence fell between the two again. Then, as if Dean suddenly remembered, he broke the silence and opened his mouth,

“Oh, did Rayleigh tell you?”

At his question, Berlia’s hand, which was laying down the napkin, stopped. Rayleigh is Berlia’s maid who mixed her body with Dean that night. She was also the maid Dean had appointed to accompany him on the trip to Cairndale. How shameless. He mixed his body with his wife’s maid, not any other maid. What was Rayleigh thinking while helping Berlia bathe?

‘She must have laughed at me for not satisfying the Duke.’

The shame of being ridiculed by her maid gave strength to her hand, which could not put down the napkin. Berlia struggled to turn her distorted expression back into a blank expression.