CEBIYB - Chapter 100

✧Am I Beautiful?✧

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When vacation ended, and school began, Leyla found the children she taught had grown up quite a lot. They seemed bigger now, but they also seemed rowdier than before. She had a struggle trying to keep up with them, giving her such a hectic back-to-school day overall.

She had been so busy looking out the window, lost in her many thoughts, that she almost missed the cry of a child right behind her.

“Teacher, it’s done!” they exclaimed, immediately jolting her out of her reverie. Leyla turned and looked down, taking the abacus from the child’s hands and smiled at them in amazement.

“Wow! You’ve done so well today. I see your math skills have improved over the winter!” She praised, leaving the young boy in a blushing mess as she acknowledged his growing skills. Suddenly, another burst of cry sounded just off to the side.

When Leyla turned to look at what was the problem, she saw Monica crying as she tried to sit still to work on her set of math problems. Further observation made Leyla see that the boy seated behind Monica was pulling at the young girl’s hair, tugging it harshly as they snickered to themselves.

Leyla quickly returned the abacus to the young boy she had praised and quickly headed towards the other pair to break off the trouble.

She had pulled Monica to her lap, while she harshly scolded the boy for his misbehavior, emphasizing how it was not good to find hurting people funny. The rest of the day went off without any further hitches as she continued to teach her lessons.

As soon as she saw them leave when the final school bell rang, she went back inside her empty classroom.

She took a seat on her desk, and looked out the window, watching the new blooms of green on the nearby tree branch. Slowly the color was returning all around her, with the winter white beginning to fade out.

A new wave of determination washed over her.

‘I need to finish this quickly.’ She thought to herself, before quickly packing up her things.

After all, she had just accepted to become a cruel man’s lover.

Goosebumps ran up her body as she recalled how she had lied to him so blatantly. But despite that, she thought the more appealing she was, the deeper she could hurt him. She could put up with any lie.

In fact, she had been so happy he fell for her trap, she could hardly sleep in glee! Ah, she never knew the Duke was capable of giving her such satisfaction, never mind if he didn’t know what he was doing.

Right before she was leaving, Leyla made the decision to loosen up her hair, letting her golden locks cascade down her back. She shook her head a few times, loosening up some tangles before she retouched her makeup.

She had been working on how to make herself more presentable to the Duke, and she had been improving, but in her mind it wasn’t alluring enough yet. Even the current makeup style she was trying seemed clumsier.

Perhaps it was better to remove it? But she didn’t have much time left. She ignored the churning in her stomach the more she tried to beautify herself for the Duke; ignored the thought she had to put on a smile and pretend as if she was receiving gifts from someone she loved…

Ignored how she had to pretend once more she was torn with her love for him.

And so she looked at her reflection, and gave herself a confident smile.

‘Keep smiling Leyla,’ She thought to herself, ‘Keep smiling so beautifully, soon, you’ll show him your fangs that hold a poison just for him.’

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Matthias stopped at the end of the road leading to the village school. It’s been a while since he drove the car, but it wasn’t as strange as he anticipated.

When he had expressed his wishes to drive himself, both the attendant and the driver looked at him like he’d grown two heads all of a sudden. They didn’t argue with him though, so Matthias hardly cared about their thoughts on him driving.

And so he checked the time, Matthias turning his head slightly to look out of the car window where he had the perfect view of the school. Just as he looked outside, he saw Leyla walking from the end of the road. She looked absolutely divine, especially with her golden hair fluttering along behind her with every dainty step she took.

Matthias leaned back in his seat, breathing in deeply. He felt something easing up in his chest as he watched her leisurely. She was a quiet and an exceptionally busy woman and yet he found her so captivating.

It was almost like he was watching a bird soaring elegantly in the skies.

He’d always been so enamored by her. From the time he first saw her as a child until now, she’s remained unchanged, only growing more beautiful over the years.

She appeared to have unanticipated the fact he would be waiting for her, and continued on with her hasty pace. She was so focused on her path, she almost missed the sight of his car until she was right in front of it.

She probably would have completely passed him by too if Matthias hadn’t knocked on his window.

As expected, she jumped in surprise, and stopped in her steps. She whirled around and looked at the car next to her, before a beautiful blush bloomed in her face. And so Matthias unlocked his car, and casually got out of his car.

Leyla took a couple steps back, sending him a grimace of a smile as he straightened up to his full length. Matthias gave her his own grin and Leyla looked around nervously before tilting her head up at him.

“Uh, Duke, good to see you here.” She greeted politely, before she nibbled on her lower lip, “If you don’t mind me asking, why are you here?” She then lowered her voice, “The meeting place was not here.”

Matthias only raised a brow.

“You’re a smart girl, why do you think I’d be here?”

Leyla glanced at the car behind him. Her eyes narrowed slightly.

“Are you… here to pick me up?” She asked, careful not to let her disdain for him show. “By yourself?”

She looked carefully in the car, and remembered he had gotten out of the driver’s seat himself. It was highly unlikely for his chauffeur to be around and let his master drive the car when he could.

Matthias did not answer her, but merely walked over to the other side of the car, and opened the passenger’s seat, “Get in!”.

Leyla stood undecided in place, hands gripping tightly on her bag’s strap, before she approached him in stuttered steps.

As soon as she got close enough, barely a foot away from him, his brows went up in sligh surprise.

“Did you put on makeup?” he asked, a light laughter in his voice. It was so unexpected, Leyla floundered in surprise like she had been caught doing something she wasn’t supposed to. Another blush bloomed on her plump cheeks.

“Is it weird?” she asked timidly, and Matthias shrugged.

“A little,” he told her, feeling a bit mischievous, only because her serious inquiring expression was too adorable to pass up on.

Now Leyla grew conscious and unsure what to do. She could feel herself grow more embarrassed, and resolved to just remove the makeup. She hurriedly looked for her handkerchief when Matthias spoke up once more.

“Don’t remove it.” He told her, gently grabbing her wrist and taking it out of her bag from when she’d been looking for something to wipe it off with.

“B-but you said it was weird!” She spluttered, her blush deepening. He only smiled at her and shrugged. “Then I should erase it!” She insisted, and he lightly shook his head.

“Keep it on.” He told her, “You’re beautiful still.”

Leyla frowned.

“How can I be beautiful yet weird?” She asked incredulously. Matthias remained unbothered by her question, even though she had been obviously agonizing over what to do with her makeup.

‘Did I screw up!?’ She thought worriedly. Was her plan foiled because she couldn’t wear makeup properly!? She couldn’t help but feel anxious as she got in the car, Matthias shortly following her.

Matthias spared her a side glance.

“Can’t you just tell me which it really is?” She asked again, the worry clear on her face. Matthias hummed a little bit.

“If I tell you, will you finally do as I say?”

“Yes.”

“Oh?” Matthias hummed once again, “Don’t you like me having fun with you a little longer?”

“The makeup isn’t for you, Duke.” She insisted, even though it was all a lie, but her indignation made Matthias frown.

“Then who’s it for?”

Leyla bit her lip, trying to even her breathing.

“It’s… it’s for me.” She mumbled softly, “I-I want to make myself look nice… and then perhaps, you’ll treat me nicely.” She quietly admitted. The only way she could lie was to feed him half-truths, though at the same time it was like she was digging herself further into the ground.

But she couldn’t pull back now. She needed to be all in this time.

Finally the sound of the car starting up reverberated around them, giving Leyla a sense of relief, until Matthias spoke up again.

“Tell me Leyla,” He began, looking at her as the car vibrated beneath their bodies. Leyla squeaked out a ‘yes’ in question, looking back at him. “What is it you want me to do?”

Leyla spluttered for a few moments, unable to form her words.

“You mean….if I’m beautiful?”

Matthias lips curled up into a smile.

‘It can’t be this easy.’ Leyla thought nervously. But what if it was easy because the Duke has some sort of ulterior motive for her. What if he already knew everything she’d been planning?! Was he testing her? But then again, if she was succeeding then…

“Am I beautiful now then? To the point you’d wish to be nice to me?” She asked, a little more confident, hoping her false bravado would help her convince him nothing was off about her.

The car began to move, removing Matthias’ eyes on her, making her breath a little easier after one last glance over to her.

Matthias knew beauty was subjective. But Leyla was a different breed of beauty. He’d seen none as beautiful as her.

She really was beautiful, but the prettier she looked, the more he wanted to see her crumble in front of him. He wanted all of her, even her pain, under all costs. It was making him crazy the more he spent time around her.

He knew very well when it came to these intense feelings he had for her, that all rational thought would leave him. He was drawn to everything about her. Her walk, her looks, even her terrible attitude towards him.

Everything, he wanted to devour all of her if he could. And it seemed as though she was finally accepting him.

But did she really just want him to be nice to her? Was it enough for him to just treat her a little bit better than he’d been? It seemed absolutely impossible for that to be all that mattered to her, he couldn’t help but chuckle in amusement.

Normally he was unimpressed by the many noble ladies he’s met over the years. Nothing in their expensive dresses, beautiful jewels and accessories made them exquisite to him. Yet here in front of her, despite how dismal her clothes were, he can’t help but feel so driven around her.

And seeing her all dressed up heightened that attraction more. When she’d choose her clothes, her hairstyle, and even how clumsy she’d put her makeup on, it just enhanced everything about her.

Looking back now, he was already fulfilling her wish despite just making it now. He’s been holding himself back from ripping her clothes off her body and just taking her here and now. He wanted to see her hair all messed up from when he’d dig his fingers into her hair as she’d throw her head back to reveal her pale neck for him to suckle in. To take her lips into his and just ravish her…

“You’re not answering.” She pointed out, “I’ll take it as a yes then.” She quipped lightheartedly. She could still feel the blush firmly on her cheeks and opted to avoid further eye contact with him.

A few moments later, she glanced nervously back at him. Feeling her eyes on him once more, Matthias let out a soft sigh, his hands still gripping firmly the steering wheel, with eyes trailed forward.

“What is it now?” He asked her.

“N-nothing.” She clumsily replied, “I, I just didn’t know you could drive.”

“Is that so surprising?”

“Yes.” She plainly replied, “I didn’t think you knew anything else other than to ring your bell.” There was a teasing glint in her eyes that made him believe despite her harsh words, she only meant them as a light-hearted joke.

At first glance she was all so prim and proper. This certainly was a refreshing change for her, that Matthias couldn’t help but chuckle in response.

“I think it’s nice though,” She added afterwards, “For it to be just us.”

This seemed like the good time to sprinkle in some forms of affection, so Leyla just went with it. She even offered him a beautiful smile, she hoped it was convincing enough. She had been practicing them late at night, when her uncle was asleep, and the Duke wasn’t looking for her.

The streets were congested, full of carriages and cars as they drove through. When the car had to stop, only then did Matthias turn to look at her once again, yet Leyla maintained her relaxed state, even when they made eye contact.

She held his eyes for a moment, before shyly looking away. A few moments later, she glanced back at him.

Matthias on the other hand started feeling warm. It was like he’s spending time with the sun, being in such close proximity with her, enclosed here in their own private bubble in his car.

Even his throat had gone dry.

“Have you thought about it then?” Matthias finally spoke up, licking his lips lightly before swallowing saliva, “How do you want me to love you?”

The amused glint in his eye disappeared, now looking over at her slowly. Leyla immediately looked away, eyes trailed on her fumbling fingers over her lap. She felt like he was directly looking into her soul. Like he could see straight through her.

She had resolved to become his lover, to seemingly accept that she would be his mistress. But she doesn’t know the first thing about this.

What do real lovers do?

She would have preferred if the Duke continued to do what he wanted, but it seemed like he was completely fine with letting her take the reins in their relationship as of now.

“I, that’s…” She stuttered, and began looking out in the streets once the road began to move along once more. She began to feel herself grow nervous, small beads of sweat sliding down her back as she looked outside for answers…

“Dinner.” She finally said, after seeing some couples eating out by themselves, “Today, you should take me to dinner.” She elaborated. It was the first definite thing she thought of as she searched for answers outside.

“Oh, also the fields of Arvis during spring would be filled with beautiful flowers!” She jovially exclaimed, “Did you know that?”

“No.”

“Really? In your own estate?” Leyla asked a little incredulously, “It’s a really beautiful view.”

She noticed a wistful expression came over Matthias, almost like he was remembering something. So Leyla continued to ramble on about Arvis’ fields when he remained silent.

She talked about her childhood. How she used to play in the fields, and when she’d grow tired, she would lie down beneath the shade of the tree. And when she’d grow bored, she’d sometimes bring her books and snacks with her. Sometimes she’d even take a nap.

She just didn’t mention how she did all that with Kyle. The one person who’d been hurt by him so cruelly simply because of his greed to have her.

She hid her anger at him behind her bright smile, crinkling her eyes to prevent herself from glaring at him. To prevent her tears from forming.

“We should go out in the fields as soon as the flowers begin to bloom this spring.” She lightly suggested, “And then I can show you just how beautiful your estate is.” She offered, looking a little calmly, Matthias seemed to agree with her from the way his lips upturned.

“Do you like ice cream?” She immediately asked, feeling a little awkward.

“Ice cream?” He finally piped up, a brow of his raising.

“Yes! I like ice cream.” She prompted, “Vanilla’s my favorite.” She added offhandedly.

She had been on her way home, Kyle had been with her. He was waiting for her in front of their school gate back then, and they went to buy themselves some ice cream. As soon as the cold, and soft treat hit her tongue, its smooth and sweet flavor filled her with comfort and warmth.

She quietly mourned the fact that those memories will never come to life once more.

“I’ll buy it for you as soon as I get my paycheck this month.” She said, “Then we can go eat them together sometime.”

Did she finally learn how to lie so effortlessly? Everything was coming so quickly to her now, like the excuses and all these false lines just began flowing out of her. Matthias chuckled lowly, a smile on his face as he kept his eyes on the road still.

“You’re so generous lately,” He pointed out, sparing her a glance at the corner of his eye, “Surely you’re jesting me.”

Leyla felt herself go pale.

“Th-that’s…” She trailed off, trying not to let herself grow further anxious. In her mind, she was wishing desperately for her lie to hold.

‘Please let me succeed, please let me succeed…’ Over and over, she repeated that phrase in her mind.

“…because I love you.” She told him softly, looking at him calmly, “Do you want me to go back to acting like I hate you?” She asked him softly.

Every word out of her mouth tasted ashen. She wanted to take it all back, but she wouldn’t. This was vital to her plan to break him. She could feel her heart thumping wildly in her chest, waiting for Matthias to give her an answer.

“Because I don’t,” She continued, “I want to love you.”

Finally, something in Matthias’ eyes softened the longer he watched her. She was a terrible liar. He could sense the truth in her words.

And suddenly the heat around them turned into a comforting warmth. That gentle smile she was so freely offering him couldn’t be deceiving. And she was smiling so beautifully, all for him.

If only he knew that behind that smile, was the intense need to break him apart.

Alas, that statement never suited her at all.

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