Citadel of Desire - Chapter 14

Chapter 14 – Don’t Let Me In (2)

That statement, it sounded so illogical and yet, Heish said it with a firm conviction. She looked at the wild look in his eyes and gave up on convincing him. There was no arguing with him.

“Rei… Listen carefully. Our parents aren’t here, so I’m your guardian now. That means you don’t have any right to disobey me. Hurry, follow me right now. This is our only chance.”

“The moment the sun rises, I’m going to Clodan to ask for his forgiveness. Your actions are inexcusable. Even if it’s only me, he deserves an apology…”

“Are you insane?! How many times do I have to tell you? He’s a monster!”

Rei clutched her head in despair. Even though Heish had always been stubborn, she thought he at least wouldn’t want to lose face. This person in front of her… He was no better than a drunken lunatic rambling about absurd conspiracies and treating them as the truth.

“Heish—”

“Shhh! Be quiet. What’s that?”

Heish’s face lost all colour as he pointed towards the end of the hallway, his hand trembling uncontrollably.

“W-what?”

Rei turned around to look for whatever Heish was pointing at. But let alone a woman, there weren’t even any rats scurrying about in the dead of the night. She hung her head and sighed, fed up with his behaviour.

“A-are you drunk?”

But he never replied, his eyes still focused on the empty space in the hallway.

“Heish?”

He let out an abrupt gasp, his face scrunching up in pain as he clawed at his chest. Noticing his swaying figure, Rei held out her arm to support him. But he paid it no heed. A nasal sob slipped from his lips.

“Why…Why did it have to be me?”

She could see the dread and pure terror on his face, but she couldn’t figure what was causing him to like this. She watched him act like a madman, glaring at the empty hallway and biting his nails. As if finally coming to terms with a decision, he suddenly nodded and swiftly turned to face her.

“Don’t come along if you’re unwilling. You can die here. I-I’m going to survive!”

Rei was too stunned to reply and could only watch as he sprinted out of there. She couldn’t even catch him. He’d lost all of Clodan’s money. And Heish was an expert at abandoning a sinking ship and making a getaway. Clodan was sure to be furious and the one who was responsible for it was busy escaping. It was all over.

Her legs gave out and Rei collapsed to the floor. It was time for her to leave this happy life behind. Ah, she never should have gotten so attached. Each day, she’d continued to delude herself into thinking that everything would turn out fine. But she should’ve known her happiness would only last a short while.

The ice-cold floor pressed against her legs through the soft pajamas Mary had provided her with. A chill ran down her spine, causing goosebumps to erupt all over her body. She pulled her knees close to her chest, wanting to curl up into a ball.

Soon enough, Rei felt a presence loom over her hand. She lifted her head, hoping her brother had changed her mind and come back.

“Heish?”

But she should’ve known better. There was no way Heish was going to return. The tall figure standing near her was someone else entirely.

“H-have you come here to catch Heish?”

Rei trembled like a small lamb as she stared into Clodan’s eyes. Cold dread seeped into her bones. He knew about everything. She knew nothing would change, but she wanted to come up with excuses to save herself. She didn’t want to give him any reason to hate her.

“I-I-I knew this would happen. H-h-he’s done this before…”

The moonlight spilled in from the window, illuminating the back of his figure with a silver glow. Rei clawed at her arms. The warmth in his eyes… It was gone. His gaze was cold, so cold. She barely managed to stutter out the next words.

“Heish ran away. I’m so sorry… I really am. I know you must be furious, but I’ll pay you back! I-I’ll work off the debt…”

“Rei.”

“I’ll make a good servant! If that’s not okay, I’ll earn money by working outside. Heish… He’ll come back.”

“You’re driving me crazy.”

His words hit her like a punch in the gut. She couldn’t bear it. Oh, how she wished she was numb instead. Anything would be better than this sick, awful ache in her heart.

“That bastard. Heish, Heish, Heish… All you do is utter his name.”

Clodan broke into a soft, almost violent, chuckle.

“Is he your lover or something?”

“W-what?”

“No matter how well I treat you, in the end, all you talk about is him. Hearing his name at the end of every sentence of yours… It makes me nauseous.”

Rei was too shocked to cry anymore. It was the first time he’d lost his temper in front of her. And she was partly responsible for it.

“Clodan, H-he… My brother escaped. I could’ve caught him—”

“Stop mumbling.”

“I-I’m sorry. You must be extremely angry because of my brother, because of me.”

“I said…stop mumbling.”

Clodan grit his teeth in anger. He grabbed a hold of her waist and lifted her in the air. Too stunned to react to his sudden action, Rei lost her balance and ended up leaning close to his face.

“I-I know you’re angry. But p-please don’t be mad at me.”

“Mad at you?”

Clodan shifted her body in his arms, supporting her entire weight with just one hand. He slowly brought up his other hand to touch Rei’s cheek, softly brushing her lips with his thumb.

“I told you not to come out, right?”

“S-sorry, it’s just that the situation was so s-sudden—”

“Every time you stutter like that…”

Rei immediately sealed her mouth shut, flushing red with embarrassment. She couldn’t help it. It was a trait that ran in her family. Clodan moved his hand to her ears now, gently tracing its curve.

“I want you to suck me.”

“Th-that… W-w-what?”

“It doesn’t matter whether we do it on the table, in the garden, or in the library. I just want to ravage you and make you submit to me.”

His hand travelled downwards and came to a rest on her chest.

“You were so cute. I wanted to protect you.”

His long, slender fingers began to  unbutton her blouse with skillful motions. Rei shivered as his cool fingertips danced across her bosom. He carefully moved forward, resisting the urge to slam the door open and stepped inside the room.

“I liked playing house with you.”

As they neared the bed, Clodan hugged Rei and pressed his lips to her forehead. He laid her on the bed and backed away. His actions were gentle and yet, Rei could sense a new-found ferocity building up inside him. It was evident from the way he clenched his teeth. He took one last look at her and turned towards the door, letting out an angry hiss.

“But I can’t take it any longer.”

On that cursed night, Clodan shut the door, blocking out the beautiful moonlight; unwilling to let anything ruin the moment.