Chapter 134 – Star Fall (17)

“Darn that foxy old man. He’s like a thousand snakes put into one! He just went on and put a leash on me while I was distracted!”

The story that he had just heard was so shocking that he was already walking through the hallways in a daze with his new mission when he heard the priests talking about [Warrior Professor, the church’s official transracial ambassador]. Professor was struggling to keep his calm after hearing the news that spread in the short moment between him coming out of the office and walking through the cathedral.

“He could have just sent me off with ‘Professor is a free man! Gregorio claimed I was not fit for the war!’ but he just had to go and associate me with the church! You idiot, Gyosu Park! You still have a long way to go! You really went and got yourself tied up because of an old man’s sad story!”

======

– Jokass : Dobby is a free… huh? Where did this leash come from?

– Nutriagena : Damn he’s good. Gyosu Park’s got the best tongue and head out of all the people people I know and that guy just wrapped him up like an underfilled burrito.

– Noru_is_druig : It feels like I just witnessed something terrifying. He’s like a 70 yo Gyosu Park that’s gone through all sorts of life crises and reached the peak skill for lies and slander…..

– Speedwagon : The backstory of World 3’s Light’s Order Archbishop is pretty valuable info. It’ll be pretty good reference for guys that want to go the priest route.

– Holli : Uh….. How does knowing this Archbishop’s backstory help the player?

– Mukaba : Appealing to emotions works on even the all mighty Gyosu Park. If you stay around the Archbishop, then wake up in the morning to clean the chapel and limp around, would he just ignore you, or approach you even once? / ‘Why are you cleaning the chapel at such an early time?’ / ‘Ah, it’s just….. this is embarrassing… but I enjoy greeting my brothers who enter with sleepy eyes, heheh……’ / ‘B, Brother Chandalor! How could this be! Oh my light!’ / Can’t you see it?

– Holli : Wow….. that’s, one way to think of it…..

– Mukaba : Look at prof. You need to have at least that level of smarts to play this game.

– Jokass : fr. if you don’t have hacker level controls on Emperor Qianliu’s level, then you gotta have enough determination prepared to become the president.

– takealook : Thinking about it like that, that Qianliu guy’s a madman too. He didn’t do any grinding, no political or social stuff and cleared World 3 in record time through just training. Didn’t he play on realistic too? Who even is that guy? Anyone know what he’s doing rn?

– Speedwagon : The Dome sold Emperor Qianliu’s zero-progress garbage clear seed like it was some sort of exclusive ticket to World 4, and I heard he’s living the chill life using the money he got from that. Only his sponsor, the Dome, knows the details, but it’s confirmed he sells the swords he makes on the Marketplace sometimes. It’s high-quality sword smithing that’s hard to find these days, so the base bid for a sword with his signature ‘’ is over 4 mil.

– Jokass : 4 mil? F—ing hell, aren’t the Laser Blades that Scavengers sometimes find from the Old Times ruins sold at around 5 mil? And that’s the hella inflated price because the Dome overbids so the Raptors can’t get it, but a sword that a guy made with a hammer and metal is 4 mil? Are guys good with swords good at making them too?

– Speedwagon : Sword quality isn’t my expertise so I can’t really say, but there is a video of a sword Emp. Qianliu made vs. a monomolecular blade [Link] . The monomolecular blade got cut in half, and the ‘Made by Qianliu’ got a lil chip in the blade.

– Noru_is_druig : Mans hacking in f—ing life. That guys deffo regressing or sm. We’re all just characters in his story and he’s the main character that’s regressed into this post apocalyptic world for his 999999th time!

======

‘Lucky. I wish I could just slice through everything with my epic skills instead of talking my way through everything.’

Reading the news about the ranker Emperor Qianliu in the chatroom, Professor internally cried.

I realized after seeing the suspicious glances he received coming in now turning into gazes of respect and envy. That I was scammed.

“If they spread the news like that, then everything I do is going to spread in the manner of ‘Warrior Professor saved the village through the church’s name!’ then the church’s fame is going to skyrocket while I won’t get even half of the Heroic Points I’m supposed to get. I should have just run the hell out of there when he started to talk about his past!”

The timing was impeccable. When he first went in, he didn’t even think of leaving because he was expecting some reward, and while he was sitting himself down, he brought out a terrible backstory no one could ignore, and while he was still recovering from the aftermaths, he quickly poured the oil onto my head. That’s cheating. An old man’s tear-jerking, tragic backstory. Even a psychopath would pause for a moment at that.

He grumbled to himself on his way back towards the tavern, but it was already a sealed deal, and the news had already been officially spread throughout the city by the Light’s Order’s priests. It was going to be a lot more troublesome than when he moved as an independent group, but since it already happened, he could only try to use the official ambassador position to its fullest.

“Huh? Is there a fight?”

When he passed through the homeless noble alleyway and arrived back at the tavern, he could hear a commotion coming from the pub on the first floor. Carefully pushing open the splintered swinging door that was hanging onto its last breath, he found an old man with a white beard and an old man with red hair and a beard covered in burn scars raising their voices at each other.

“You talk well for a cherry boy that has not even been able to touch a woman’s hand before! You would have been a terrific water mage had you known how to use that tongue of yours!”

“Ahh? I have good hearing for my age, but I cannot hear you. Maybe because it is from a dweeb who had their entire tower destroyed by a monster? That reminds me—I have heard one of their mages had been dangling from the tower by the Crimson Mute in just his underwear, crying like a baby to spare his life! I would think you would have rather succeeded as a fire mage! Seeing how you managed not to erupt your entire face into flames even in such a humiliating situation!”

Splooosh!

“You bastarrrrrd! How dare you mention that!”

Flwhoosh!

“Is it not you all that are sitting around doing nothing while being pampered by prostitutes?”

“You shan’t speak their wide, welcoming hearts with such insults!”

“You have insulted us first!”

“I am hearing a lot from one who is mere greedy firewood!”

Watching the sudden wall of water and heated flames surround the two elderly men, the tavern owner could only nervously watch behind the counter, and the people sitting at the tables quietly conversed as they continued to watch the new source of entertainment that appeared in the pub.

‘Ah, right. The people in the inns are at least part of the Warrior groups or nobles of higher ranks.’

Even the nobles who brought all of their riches were out on the streets, which meant that those staying in housing services were at least of a higher rank than those outside. The inn was full of people who could easily bat away the outpouring of magic. The current state of Kingsland is definitely incredibly odd, if not outright bizarre.

“Ottman! What are you doing over there?”

To the sound of my voice, the old mage who looked like he was just about to flood the entire pub looked at me with a brightened expression.

“Ohh! Professor! What perfect timing! I was just debating how I should deal with these pretentious flame torches that called to fight me!”

“Fight? Flame torches?”

A quick glance-around gave me the rough picture. All of the people were tagged with keywords that Sensitive Observation caught onto. Most of them were just question marks, but like the fire-type mage in front of Ottman, several of the people had distinct traits that added tags to them without the need for more information.

“Let’s see… one, two, three, four…. five? Are you good at fighting, Ottman, sir? These guys clearly look like they’re over Level 3, and you wanted to 1v5 them?”

“They were the ones that started it! Aldrich and Notum left for the graveyard to train, so I stayed here with Borka, but when people from the Light’s Order took Borka away, speaking of hybrid slaves, they all waddled up to me and insulted me, saying how a pimp was stinking up the tavern, and how I smelled of fish, and you expect me to ignore them?”

“I get the fish part, but what’s up with the prostitutes?”

Creak!

“Why, of course it is a description of water’s trait, who takes in anyone without much problem, just like a dirty prostitute!”

“…The f— did you say?”

When I walked next to Ottman, a crowd of people in red robes appeared from behind the old mage with burn scars.

“So you’re saying… that water’s like a sl*tty prostitute, and we, who control that water, are the pimps?”

“Precisely! Quite smart for a water bucket with only fluid for a brain! How could it possibly make sense that because of your kind, who are useless in battle, our great fire mage, ‘Rolling Flame Malcur,’ needs to sleep on the streets?”

I finally started to understand what was happening here. So these guys weren’t high nobles, so they either needed to choose between a commoner’s house or the streets, but got jealous after seeing our water mage Ottman staying in a tavern?

“Hahah. Wow…”

“If you hand over your fish-stenching room to us right this instant, we will pretend this offensive behavior never—”

Crunchh!

“Happe…eh…”

“Ahahahah. I see. So you were trying to use that stupid ass logic to call our clear, clean, refreshing water some prostitute or something to shuck us out of our party’s room, right?”

Pswooh…

The fire mage who had been chattering on next to the old fire mage started to stutter when the Professor’s hand turned a corner of the wooden countertop into a piece of wood, then the piece of wood into sawdust.

“B-barbarian? Wasn’t he a mage?”

“Of course he is! The Professor here is a Level 2 mage of the Great Reedflow Academy! Professor! Show them your ‘destructive’ and ‘cruel’ Level 2 magic! Hurry!”

“Of course I will. My eternal lover has just been accused of being a prostitute. So, of course!”

Professor was already threatening enough with his shirt and pants sleeves tattered from his frequent loss of limbs, and when his muscles started to squirm under his skin as he walked forward, the frightened young mage with red hair hurriedly opened his mouth as if he thought of an idea.

“M-magic! Yes! If you’re a mage, then let’s settle this with magic! I wouldn’t think that a mage would choose to use physical strength like an uncultured fool!”

“I agree! Teacher, please let me teach that disrespectful bathtub a lesson! I will ‘use only magic’ to prove to them what true magic is!”

“They’d be real good at running a one-man show with those skills.”

While the tavern owner of the [Galloping Colt] was silently screaming in despair watching the expensive elven bar he invested in ‘tear off’ in Professor’s hands, the culprit was busy thinking up the best way he could beat up these toasted cherry pop tarts so he could relieve the stress that was building up inside of him.

‘Water and fire mages never got along to start with.’

It was a little more complicated than just how fire and water didn’t mix well together.

The dispute between these two groups started with their methods in how they trained to become mages.

For water magic, just like how Professor did, using the ‘drowning training’ to increase one’s affinity with the water by cutting off their oxygen and bringing them to a state close to hallucination. It was training based on the theory that the fetus lived in the womb full of amniotic fluid, so when they are close to death, they will remember that time, but it was notorious for the fact that the trainee drowned to death if they failed to reach an awakening, so there were drastically fewer mages who succeeded in passing the first level in water magic compared to the other elements. Although that came with the benefit that once they passed the first level and gained an affection for water, it was easy to reach the next couple levels. Since they couldn’t bear without water at that point, it was a smooth process to reach their next awakenings.

On the other hand, fire-type mages couldn’t just throw people into fire pits like water mages. You could still drag up a drowning person and do CPR on them, but throwing them into a fire pit would just burn them to death.

So when there was a new person interested in fire magic, the mages put them on a metal plate imbued with special magic, then created lukewarm flames that ‘heated’ them at a level close to the limit most common people can handle. Once they were accustomed to that heat, then a little hotter. Then even hotter. So as they gradually got close to the heat of a flame, they reached an awakening.

Because people have a natural positive impression of fire, such as a warm fireplace in the cold winter or a torch that lights up the darkness, the fire magic academies boast a higher Level 1 mage count than any other types. But unlike water magic, because they need to continuously heat themselves at increasingly higher temperatures, not stopping at just fire but also blue flames, white flames, and eventually flames created from pure fire mana, there were a lot fewer high-level mages compared to their Level 1 mages. Even with consistent training, if they went a little too far and fried their brain, it was it right there.

And because of these completely different training methods, the water mages compared their awakenings to ‘the process of communicating with their newfound lover’, while the fire mages compared it to ‘the relentless begging to eventually reach the side of their fiery, haughty lover’.

The water mages despised the fire mages who easily reached the first level without risking their lives, and the fire mages were jealous of the water mages who didn’t need to worry much about dying once becoming a mage, so they began to twist those definitions into ‘water mages who have a disloyal lover’ and ‘fire mages who can’t even properly confess to a woman’ to insult one another.

To me, who felt like the warm shower I took before coming into the game as the ‘warm embrace of my mother I have long forgotten’, it was an insult that I couldn’t just ignore.

Cra-ck! Cruag—ck!

‘A pub full of warriors on the same level as high nobles. Will I get Heroic Points if I show them what I got here? Guys with higher statuses like kings give more points, so I might get a good haul if I’m lucky.’

When he felt his internal scale tip from ‘just beating him up’ to ‘challenge him to a battle and beat him up’, he got the thought that he needed to make sure the opponent wouldn’t back off.

“So you want our spot? But what to do? Even if we want to hand it over, it might be a little burdensome for the other people staying here for people ‘who couldn’t get housing assigned because they weren’t good enough’ to come in, don’t you think? What if we show you all generosity and more troublemakerse come bother the warriors here?”

“Kehahhh! Do you mean that we fire mages are weaker than you fish-gill bastards who cannibalize your kind?”

“I didn’t say that! It was Rodrick who announced it that way. We stay here in this tavern, and you go out to the streets and sleep there. That’s what the people from the kingdom said.”

“Your slander has gone too far! I cannot leave you be! You also seem to be the disciple of that mage, so it is only natural for the student to fight the student! I, Sebram, apprentice of ‘Blue Flame Malcur’, challenge you to a mage battle!”

The mage Sebastion, or was it Sebrashion(?) took out gloves from his pocket, and the crowd of customers roared with cheers.

“Ooooohh!”

“It’s a fight!”

“Aghahah! I knew this would happen the moment those fire mages came into the pub! I’ll bet 1 thousand Shillings on the big one! He seems confident!”

“I don’t know. Logically thinking, the big guy who concentrated on physical training would be at a disadvantage in a mage battle. I’ll bet 1 thousand five hundred on the blue fire mage.”

“They’re fighting!”

“A fire and water mage are going to duel!”

Maybe it was because the customers were all high nobles and their personal guards, but the heavy wooden tables were quickly pushed away to create a circle in the middle of the shop.

Leaving the Halfling collecting the bets and the owner, who was muttering something along the lines of ‘A mage’s duel… in my shop… magical fight…’, the two mages met in the middle of the circle.

“Heheheh… You should know what a mage’s duel is! You may only damage the opponent using magic! If you are truly a mage, then battle me fair and square with only magic…”

“I thought it would be something like that. As you wish.”

“Great! Whoever loses will hand over the lodging and leave!”

‘That reminds me, they started this fight because they wanted something.’

I forgot because I was just thinking about how I could beat that guy up. I need to bet something if we’re going to make a deal, then.

“Ahahahah! You seem to be distressed! Why, are you thinking about what to do when you are kicked out to the streets?”

“Wait a minute. I’m trying to think of what to bet so I could carve trauma into your burnt skin for the rest of your life.”

While he was thinking for a moment, Professor looked to the Halfling that was standing on top of the table with a full sack of silver coins and thought of a good idea.

“Now, welcome, ladies and gentlemen! There may be those who know me and those who don’t, but let me introduce myself! I am Halfling ‘Gray Foot’ Fionill from the Feonill Nation! I will be serving as the referee for today’s special event!”

“Whoooop!”

“Pretty nice event for a cheap tavern like this!”

“Fire mage! I bet 5 thousand Shillings on you! Fry him up!”

“Introducing both sides~! First, the Red Flag! A Level 3 fire-type mage! Coming from the ‘Lone Flame,’ known for their unmatched attack magic, is Mage Sebram! For their reward, they will be receiving the lodging here, the Galloping Colt, that the water mage’s group is currently staying in! And—”

Pa-pat!

The Halfling that had been yelling cheerfully from the top of the table jumped onto my shoulder and whispered to me.

“Hey, water mage! Tell them your name, academy, betting reward, and anything else you want to say!”

“…Who are you?”

“I’ll give you half of the 10% betting fee! You don’t have time to stall! The audience is waiting!”

Oh. He knows his stuff. There’s no reason not to if I’m getting paid to get some stress relief.

“Level 2 mage of Reedflow Academy, Professor. I don’t have anything special to say, and the reward…”

Whisper whisper.

“…What? You’re really okay with that? You’re from the church?”

“Yeah. That’s enough, so go tell them already.”

“You’re more faithful than you look. Doesn’t matter to me.”

Commenting on the odd request he was given, the Halfling made an easy leap back onto the table he was standing on.

P-pap!

“Blue flag~ Level 2 mage of the Reedflow Academy~ Striving for both the perfect physique and mind! Professor! The duel reward is, uh… for the fire mages, including Mage Sebram… to, uh… go to Paladin Captain Gregorio of the Light’s Order and tell him, ‘I have come here with Warrior Professor’s recommendation. Please call any time help is needed’!”

“Light’s Order’s… Paladin Captain?”

“Was he from the church? I don’t feel any holy power, though…”

“Isn’t this too good of a deal for the fire mages? They’re already here for the battle against the mutes anyway, and if they make connections with the Paladin Captain at that…”

“It is good to participate as an individual, but it’s even better if you participate in the church’s operation if you aren’t backed up by anyone else. The Warrior called Professor must be looking for useful mages on the church’s behalf.”

“The Light’s Order lacks large-scale attack magic after all. It makes sense.”

Murmur murmur!

When my request was announced, I could see not only the crowd but also the mage in front of me and his group lurch back in surprise.

“D-do not think that I will go easy on you for your generosity! It is merely a trick because you do not think you can win the duel!”

“Heheheh. I won’t stop you from thinking of it that way.”

“Okay~ both sides, get ready~!”

Whoop!

The moment the Halfling raised his hand, Sebram quickly backed off to the edge of the circle, unlike Professor, who just stood there.

“And may~ it be~ a glorious duel! Start!”

“[Fireball]!”

Flwhoosh!

The instant his hand fell down, Sebram shot the basic spell of fire magic that would be used without a chant, the fireball, at Professor.

‘Putting some distance before the fight starts and using the quickest spell he has instead of a strong one. He knows how to fight.’

Fire magic’s specialty was expansion. Just like their training method, they used the small flames from their first spell to create an even bigger fire, and using that fire as a catalyst, they used a more advanced spell.

‘Mmm… there’s a bit of weird mana mixed into it. That must be related to his awakening.’

Staring at the fireball, which was fast to a mage’s eye—in other words, incredibly slow to a seasoned fighter—Professor raised his right arm.

“[Blood Armor]”

Shpt!

The gauntlet of blood wrapped around his arm instantly.

‘They said… to fight only with the effects of magic, right?’

Seeing that the head-sized spherical flame was flying into close proximity, Professor spread open his hand and blocked the attack.

Blamm!

“Ahahahah! How amusing to see you frozen in fear! That was a Fireball imbued with the awakening of ‘expansion’ and ‘explosion’! You cannot dare compare it to something like water magi—gwrshpk!”

Sl-ap!

Crashhhh!

It must not have been an ordinary fireball, as it exploded as it touched his hand, making Blood Armor shake from the impact, and simultaneously with the explosion, Professor leaped in front of the mage and slapped his face as hard as possible.

In the moment of contact, a small chain of flames rose to block the crimson gauntlet, but it wasn’t able to diffuse all of the shock since, after Sebram rolled several times on the ground and got up, he had one hand holding his swollen cheek while pointing accusingly at Professor.

“T-that’s a violation of rules! That was violence, not magic! Referee! According to the rules of a mage’s duel, this is cheating! Disqualify him for cheating at—!”

“No, I didn’t. If I hit you, your head would have already flown outside of the castle walls.”

Cutting off Sebram, Professor shook the crimson gauntlet on his right hand.

“Blood Armor. It’s my original spell, and it consumes blood to absorb shock and release it backwards. I didn’t hit you. All I did was place my hand next to your cheek just before Blood Armor released the shock from your fireball’s explosion.”

“T-that’s unbelievable—”

“And magic is supposed to be unbelievable. They say there are as many spells in the world as there are mages, no?”

Watching the fire mage widen the distance once again while nursing his cheek, I flicked my armored fingers at him.

“I had breakfast here today, and they have some good stew. The way it’s all smooth and creamy, you could probably eat it even without any teeth.”

“W-what does that have to do with me?”

“Oh, of course it has something to do with you. I’m going to make sure that happens.”

As Professor looked at the mage desperately trying to light a flame at the tip of his hand, he picked up a small white object from the ground.

“That’s one down, thirty-one left to go.”

What Professor just picked up was the fire mage’s front tooth.