Dear My Friend - Chapter 74

Chapter 74 – Why Don’t You Confess?

Claude was the first one to break the silence. “You endured this better than I expected.” His jaw stiffened. “You don’t hate me now?”

“…”

Xavier remained mute. He glared at Claude with his mouth closed, and after a long moment, finally spoke.

“No way. I still hate you,” Xavier scowled.

Claude squinted his eyes at the other young man. “Aren’t you acting too coldly towards me?” he asked.

“…”

“What did I do wrong in this situation? We’re both innocent. In fact, we’re the victims of our parents’ generation.”

“Victim?” Xavier laughed mockingly. “You’re very mistaken, and your family has never been a victim.”

“…”

“The victims were always us. No, technically it’s not ‘us’ either.”

Xavier’s father was exempt from any victimhood. Xavier couldn’t bring himself to say that, but Claude seemed to have noticed the unspoken words.

Claude didn’t say anything for a moment, and when he couldn’t bear the silence any longer, he spoke again.

“So it’s going to stay like this in the future?”

“Do you want the relationship to change?”

“I don’t hate you,” Claude said, bluntly pointing out the truth. “You don’t hate me too. Am I wrong?”

“…”

“If you hated me, then there would be no reason for you to be so nice to me before. You just felt a sense of duty and guilt about the late Empress—”

“Stop it,” Xavier said in a low voice, sharply cutting through Claude’s words.

Claude hid his surprise, but did as Xavier wanted and didn’t provoke him any further.

Xavier continued in a flat voice. “Whatever feelings I have towards you, we already crossed a bridge that cannot be crossed back. We can never go back to what it was like in the past.”

“…”

“You understand that, don’t you?”

“That’s all?” Claude said with a frown, and Xavier’s forehead crumpled equally.

“What do you mean?” Xavier asked.

“Is that problem really the only reason we can’t go back to the way things were?”

“What do you mean?”

“Are you asking because you really don’t know?” Claude stared intently at Xavier before giving him the answer. “Lady Maristella.”

“…”

“Do you like her?” Claude probed.

Regardless of any answer, Claude already had a relaxed smile, as if he already knew his response. Xavier didn’t like the Duke’s attitude, and he didn’t want to give Claude the satisfaction of guessing right.

Xavier involuntarily clenched his left hand. “Don’t involve her in our relationship.”

“Whoa, whoa. Calm down, Your Highness. You probably know this already, but I also care for her a lot.”

“That’s why,” Xavier bit back, acidity tinging his words. “Isn’t that strange?”

“What?”

“That when I came to like her, you immediately liked her, too.” Xavier’s eyes were cold as ice. Instead of being intimidated, Claude gave a knowing smile. Xavier’s stare grew even harder.

“You had ulterior motives in getting close to her,” Xavier accused.

“…”

“Isn’t that right?”

“…You’re painting me as the bad guy,” Claude said tiredly.

“Just tell me the truth. Am I right or not?”

Claude sighed and scratched the back of his head. Xavier made it impossible to slip out of a difficult situation; Claude both liked and disliked that about the Crown Prince. He paused for a moment before answering.

“…You’re right.”

Maristella wouldn’t know this, but in truth, Claude’s reason for getting closer to her wasn’t so pure.

Xavier had made some smart guesses. He gave a click of his tongue and smiled bitterly. “How could we drag someone else into our problems? Someone who doesn’t even know anything?”

Claude was silent. He had nothing to say to that part. No matter what his feelings were now, his intentions from the start had been dishonest. He seemed momentarily embarrassed at being exposed, and after a while he spoke.

“There is no excuse,” he said.

Xavier arched an eyebrow. “Is that it?”

“It’s not something I have to apologize to you anyway.” Claude’s voice turned sharp. “Even if you ask for an apology, that’s for Lady Maristella, not you. Am I wrong?”

“…You’re not wrong.” Claude spoke the truth, but Xavier still felt uneasy, and he furrowed his brow.

“Don’t tell me the carriage accident was on purpose?” he asked.

“Hey, Your Highness,” Claude snapped with a look that said he took total offense. “That accident almost killed me, too. Whatever you’re thinking, I’m not stupid enough to risk my life. You understand?”

“…”

“She just happened to be a victim,” Claude continued, “and I noticed you were interested in her shortly before the accident. And it was only after the accident that I thought would be a good opportunity to get close to her.” Claude recalled his memories of a few months ago as he spoke. “It was just a coincidence. Even without the accident, I would have approached her somehow. There are an endless number of ways.”

“…Yes, you would,” Xavier said, his face darkening as if he no longer wished to listen to Claude’s excuses. “If you know that your behavior is wrong now, you should just stop. Don’t play with people’s minds.”

“I have never played with people’s minds.”

“Is that a joke? How could you say that?” Xavier exclaimed in a voice that was not yet a yell. He stared at Claude with an incredulous expression. “Should I tell her why you got close to her? That you only took interest in her because I liked her in the first place? That you wanted to screw me over? Because since I hated you, you naturally hated me. No, I don’t know if that was the problem with our relationship. You always saw me as a rival.”

Xavier’s voice, which had maintained its polite tone for hours, was gradually rising in heat.

“Your words are too harsh,” Claude snapped back. “If our relationship hadn’t gotten this bad, then I wouldn’t be coveting the woman my friend likes.”

“So you’re admitting that what I said is true. Isn’t that right?”

“…”

Damn it.

“You’re not wrong,” Claude admitted with a huff.

“Stay away from her,” Xavier warned in a sharp voice. “If you have a sliver of a conscience left, don’t get close to her.”

“Hey, Your Highness. That’s my choice,” Claude retorted. “When the time is right, I will give a sincere apology to Lady Maristella and continue our relationship honestly. Of course, you won’t accept my personal decision, but even so, that’s just a problem between us. What the hell do you care?”

“…”

“I don’t know why you’re trying to interfere between me and her? Are you my father? Or my mother—”

Claude quickly snapped his mouth shut. Damn it, he went too far.

Xavier said nothing, and the silence between the two renewed itself.

Claude gave an awkward cough. “Anyway,” he said after a moment. “Let’s not concern ourselves with each other. You’ll do your thing, and I’ll do my thing.”

“You’ll keep deceiving her?” Xavier accused.

“Deceiving!” Claude shouted in affront. “Are you deaf? I’ve been saying this since a while ago. At some point, my feelings towards her became real!”

Xavier stared back doubtfully. “That’s a contradiction. You weren’t sincere from the start.”

“Yeah, you’re brilliant,” Claude said sarcastically. Xavier’s habit of pointing out other people’s words remained the same. “You talk like you never make a mistake, Your Royal Highness who is oh so great.”

“…It’s a mistake not to confess to her now.”

“Why?”

“Well, look at you.” Xavier looked straight at Claude. “Why don’t you confess to her?”

“Maybe we both have the same reason,” Claude pointed out.

Xavier was confused. “What?”

“We both clearly know our feelings, but we can’t confess.”

Xavier fell silent, and Claude gave a grin.

“I think I know. Shall I guess?” Claude said.

The reason why they could not be honest with their feelings. Because of the common connection they both shared.