Even If It’s Not Love - Chapter 66-2

“What can I do?”

One word at a time.

“… Can I be forgiven?”

The words that were being said were heavy.

“Even though I know better than anyone what I’ve done and how much of a bastard I am, I don’t have it in me to send you back.”

Woo-hyun’s gloomy eyes filled with emotions and turned reddish. It was a bundle of emotions that could not be clearly explained by any words. Yoo-hwa knew very well what it was.

This is how she felt the whole time after meeting Woo-hyun.

So, she absolutely didn’t want to hear it. But in the end, she heard the words that she had been avoiding with all her might. As soon as she heard them, it felt as if she had left her shell and everything inside her body was being swept away.

It was something she once wanted to hear, desperately. But those words, she heard them when she didn’t want to hear them the most. At this moment when she was truly breaking up.

“You said you’d let me go.”

Yoo-hwa barely said.

“I was thinking about doing that. I didn’t have it in me to do so, but I thought I had to, somehow.”

“…”

“Until I almost died.”

“…”

Yoo-hwa’s heart sank at the words that he had almost died. When she looked at him again, his standing posture was unusual. Even though he seemed to be in pain even though he was standing still, Woo-hyun didn’t mind and continued to speak.

“I’ll let you go if you want. I have to keep you away from me before my misfortune moves to you. Even if I apologize, I shouldn’t confess. Or so I thought.”

“…”

“But I can’t do that anymore.”

“…”

“Because I realized that not seeing you again was even scarier than dying.”

“…”

It was the only fear that he had the moment he fell into darkness, right before he lost consciousness. That his time and Yoo-hwa’s time would never overlap again in the future, not even for a moment. That no matter the effort, he would not meet Yoo-hwa again. That he would forever remain the one who hurt Yoo-hwa.

… That he ended up being one of those people who made her sad.

“Because I realized what you mean to me…”

Woo-hyun’s lips trembled pitifully as he spoke. She just wanted to put everything down and hug him. However, Yoo-hwa clenched her fists tightly.

“No.”

Yoo-hwa cut off Woo-hyun’s words. Then, she looked at him with a tearful face and shook her head. She didn’t want to hear a word more from Woo-hyun. Knowing how she would get caught by those words and fall over. She stopped Woo-hyun and spoke without a break.

“It doesn’t matter if you apologize, if you beg, or if you kneel. Woo-hyun. Us… We can’t. If you really feel sorry for me, let me go.”

“…”

“What I really need now is my life. I told you before. Since Kim Yi-woon is gone, there is no one to bother me anymore. For the first time, I was able to live the normal life I was desperate to live. So don’t try to take that opportunity away from me.”

“…”

“It’s hard for you to see me, but it’s hard for me to see you, too. So…”

“…”

“Let’s… not hold on to it anymore.”

Even if they embraced each other right now, only their wounds would hurt. Above all, a relationship that hurts, where you feel sorry for one another, and where you suffer, won’t last long.

“Please do this for me. I hope this is my last request to you.”

There was a crushing silence at the end of Yoo-hwa’s words. Woo-hyun couldn’t say anything more at Yoo-hwa’s desperate request and just looked at her.

In that, Yoo-hwa could see.

She saw Woo-hyun with the same expression as her when she was abandoned in front of the funeral hall.

***

As she opened the window wide to ventilate, the cold breeze that was blowing outside of the window rushed in. The cold that made the tip of her nose tingle was now gone, but it was still a chilly wind if you exposed yourself to it directly.

Yoo-hwa gazed outside the window, feeling the breeze in its entirety, and then sat on the bed and carefully scanned the disorganized room that she had just moved into.

She was forced to move from her old house to another place, as the redevelopment project that had been called off was eventually underway. Among all the misfortunes, she luckily found a place nearby at her desired price.

It was an old apartment with a long hallway, but it was actually a five-story two-unit villa. Among them, Yoo-hwa’s place was on the corner of the fifth floor. It was hard to come up, it was cold during winter because it was in the corner, and it would be hot in the summer because it was on the upper floor, but now was not the time to be picky. No matter how bad it was, it would be much better than her previous house in which she used a shared bathroom.

There was a sink and a bathroom in the house, and even though they were small, there were two rooms. Although it was old, there was a window frame that blocked the wind, and the insect screen was also clean without any fraying. The wallpaper and floorboards were also clean because the landlord put in new ones.

It was the perfect place to start anew. However, it was still awkward. After checking the time, Yoo-hwa got up to try to eat something. Yoo-hwa, who left the room and headed to the kitchen and living room, casually turned her gaze and stopped right there.