Even If It’s Not Love - Chapter 75-1

“Yeah.”

As Woo-hyun answered shortly after, as if he had given up, Yoo-hwa was speechless at his reply.

“When I asked if you were home, you said yes. Even then… you were doing this? No. Wait. Sometimes your clothes were the same the next morning. Even then, don’t tell me…”

“…”

Woo-hyun didn’t say anything.

“Why were you doing this?”

Yoo-hwa asked, quickly scanning his expression. Then, she thought.

This is why his face always looked haggard.

Even after they started seeing each other again, Woo-hyun often showed a tired face. She thought it was because he had a lot of work and traveled all the way here every day, but there was another hidden reason.

The upset Yoo-hwa stared at Woo-hyun as if she was hoping for an answer. Woo-hyun stared down at Yoo-hwa, silently. There were a lot of emotions in his silent gaze.

He slowly raised his hand and touched her face, just as he had confirmed her existence one day. Finally, the tips of Woo-hyun’s fingers, which had flowed down the line of her face, reached her chin and remained there, as he was unable to remove his hand.

“I’m afraid I’ll wake up.”

“…”

“Sometimes when I’m at your house, it feels like a dream.”

“…”

“I stayed here until I accepted that it was reality. And when I did, sometimes it was already morning.”

“…”

“I was also afraid that you might experience something bad without me knowing. There is no place that is 100% safe.”

Yoo-hwa’s head lowered gradually at Woo-hyun’s calm words.

When they met again, Woo-hyun acted naturally and showed a comfortable expression, so she thought everything was fine. But he was alone in this uncertainty.

“What felt like a dream? What made you uneasy?”

Woo-hyun’s face crumpled at the question that Yoo-hwa, who was choking up on emotions, was barely able to ask. After looking at the weak expression he had seen when they parted, he opened his lips.

“Meeting you was like a dream. I was anxious that the distance between us wouldn’t narrow.”

Woo-hyun’s eyes sank. As the cool spring breeze blew, the hair covering his forehead fluttered lightly. Despite the pleasant wind, Woo-hyun’s face became more and more disordered.

“It’s really easy to get people’s favor, but I don’t know what to do when it comes to you.”

“…”

“… It’s difficult because I’m being sincere.”

“…”

“What should I do? How can I make you feel as comfortable as before?”

Woo-hyun’s crumpled face made Yoo-hwa suffocate. She knew that Woo-hyun felt uncomfortable whenever she treated him politely and cautiously. But he was not feeling uncomfortable, he was feeling insecure.

“Let’s live together.”

So… that’s why he said that.

He thought he should at least do that.

Because if he didn’t, he wouldn’t be able to escape this anxiety forever.

Her own caution and hesitation made him uneasy and impatient. She didn’t mean that, but she had no choice but to be careful. They gave each other a lot of wounds, and she was afraid that any word or action could touch those wounds.

However, this prudence made Woo-hyun anxious and lonely.

Everything seemed clear now, as if a fog that was obscuring her vision had dissipated.

Yoo-hwa’s confused gaze reached the butterfly knot on Woo-hyun’s sneakers.

“Woo-hyun.”

Perhaps what they needed was not caution so as not to touch each other’s wounds, but the conviction that they could confirm each other’s feelings. There may be many ways to convince each other, but right now, only one came to mind.

“… Do you want to sleep together?”

It was the only way to show each other’s bare faces in the most revealing way.

Although her lips moved on their own, she didn’t regret it.

Yoo-hwa, who raised her head, stared straight at Woo-hyun, who was tinged by the streetlights. He looked at her with an expression as if he had heard wrong. For some reason, he looked silly and pitiable.

“Let’s go to sleep.”

She said it again as if to reassure him.

The petals that had been fluttering at their feet due to the wind disappeared to someplace far away. The only ones left there were Yoo-hwa and Woo-hyun, who understood what she said.

***

Yoo-hwa’s steps as she entered the house were awkward. The sound of footsteps behind her made her nervous. She reached out and groped the wall to find the switch. She couldn’t find where the switch was due to Woo-hyun’s shadow being cast. Because of that, her hands were wandering around and touching the wrong places.

Woo-hyun’s big hand, which held her hand groping the wall, stood out exceptionally pale in the light that came in through the closing door. Then, the door closed, and darkness pushed in. Looking at the wall, Yoo-hwa’s face turned blank.

She could not breathe as soon as she felt Woo-hyun’s firm arms that hugged her from behind, the hand that wrapped around her wrist, and the chest that touched her back.

“You don’t have to turn it on.”

Woo-hyun’s low voice gave her goosebumps, as if she had a premonition of something. She wanted to lower her arm, but she couldn’t move because she was held by Woo-hyun.