Finding You Who Abandoned Me - Chapter 1

TW// SUI*CIDE

(Calliope’s POV)

A day when all humans except me feel blessed.

The sky is so blue that it makes  my eyes squint and the sun rises higher than ever.

A day when the God who is cruel only to me shines and takes care of all the other life on earth. Yes, a day when everyone but me is drunk with joy, raising their voices with joy and praising the human heroes.

***

Calliope’s hair, as white as a sick person, fluttered in the wind. Standing on top of the capital’s tallest bell tower, she looked down at the human heroes, smiling brightly as if fragments of the sun had fallen. Calliope’s eyes, which were red, gently curved with anger.

The hatred and tears within me have all flowed and burned down over the past two years. Now I don’t even have the energy to hate anyone.

Calliope lifted her head and looked at the sky. The snow falling is cold in the white light. The reason the tears that had dried up have now started to flow again must be because her eyes were blinded by the light.The white light reflected in the stagnant tears makes her look like she is suffering. After the tears started pouring down her cheeks, her child-like appearance disappeared.

It has been two years since those who received the trust of God returned after defeating the Demon King. August was the month when the sun was the hottest, but the light was  hot and  warm as if it were caressing them.The parade will start from the entrance of the capital and will continue to the bell tower of the temple built in the center of the capital square. Since it was the same on last year’s anniversary, Calliope’s plan is not going to go wrong.

Even from a distance, their expressions were clearly visible. Most of the sadness from two years ago has disappeared, and Calliope, who used to smile brightly at people and wished for their  blessings with all her heart, finally started laughing. He didn’t come back, but you all are laughing here.

Unjust hatred, wanting to tear their innocent bodies to pieces, twisting in her stomach. My man, my love never came back and you’re laughing out loud there.

“Isaac.”

Calliope called his name after a long time. Isaac, one of the main characters of the oracle who had to leave to subjugate the Demon King, and her fiancé. Isaac confessed that he betrayed her and fell in love with the saint.

She was unfamiliar with the cold eyes looking at her, and he turned and knelt in front of the saint, leaving her frozen. His coldness suffocated her, so she grabbed the hem of her dress and ran away.

My love who betrayed me, Isaac Esteban.

“You left me and now you lost everything and they also seem to have forgotten you.”

Calliope hated it. If he hadn’t been the main character of the oracle, he wouldn’t have met  with the imperial saint, and he wouldn’t have betrayed her. If he wanted to betray her that much ,he should have at least returned.

I fell in love so deeply that I couldn’t forget the long days I spent with him.. Even now, even after I was betrayed, I can’t forget him.

Those of you who were chosen by him, you must not smile as if you have already forgotten him.  I had to struggle much more in the depths of sorrow.

“Stupid.”

The words that were uttered in a single voice were not only to him who no longer exists, but also to herself at the same time. I wish I could forget about a man who said he didn’t love me and went to another woman and lived happily ever after. I wish I could forget whether he died or not and live happily.

Silly Calliope standing on the bell tower while holding onto him in her memory, buried in the past with him. Silly Calliope. Even as she repeated her self-deprecating words over and over again, her legs, standing firmly, did not leave the seat.

The parade finally reached under the bell tower. Saint Clementia with red hair that burns like a flame. Ansgar, the first prince of the Empire, with blonde hair that looks like it was made with a handful of sunlight, and Wolfgang, a knight with dark brown hair that looks like it was made from the warmest soil of the soil that had rained.

Calliope took a step towards the edge.

I know it’s not their fault. Nevertheless, there is no way to control her mind, which is full of terrible resentment. The only life on earth that hates the heroes whom the world loves, Calliopeanastas, a foolish woman who has no power or ability, just betrayed by her loved ones, will leave with a small stain on their lives.

“I don’t have the power to bring you back or take revenge, so I have no choice but to leave.”

When the saint stood on the podium under the bell tower and the two heroes stood  by her side, when the eyes of the people gathered in the square were on them,

“I’m glad the weather is nice.”

When the large bell behind her began to ring strongly as if to burst her ear, Calliope’s feet stepped out of the edge of the floor and into the air. There was a strong wind that was as if trying to hold her back.

Deng, deng, deng.

(Clementia’s POV)

The bell started ringing, set to commemorate the heroes’ second year. Clementia, a woman loved by many at the center, stood at the highest place under the bell tower under the escort of the Imperial Crown Prince. The warm sun shining down upon them as if to bless them. The crowds are full of bright energy at a glance.

‘It’s a scene we made.’

‘We are the ones who protected humans and their loved ones from the continental disaster that comes once every 500 years.’

Now, two years after she returned from subjugating the Demon King, the overwhelming feeling that had been suppressed has finally emerged.

The first year was spent treating injuries and mourning and longing for a lost colleague. Even if they comforted people around them, they could not bring them out who had sank. Isaac, a life-and-death colleague who gave his life to create the world it is today. The knight who offered his sword to saint Clementia.

Clementia looked up at the sky. It was so bright that tears of longing and mourning started flowing down her beautiful green eyes. The weather is nice. It was so good. Like trying to take care of humans, bless them, and brighten their path.

“I’m glad the weather is nice.”

It’s a good day to shake off the lingering attachment to the dead. At her words, the two men standing next to each other smiled slowly and at that moment, bang!

The dull noise grazed unpleasantly into the murmur of the happy day. An unidentified liquid splashed on Clementia’s face. A few seconds of silence, as if promised. And screams that started to explode all at once, like a scene from a play.

Clementia’s fingertips began to tremble all over. Her gaze looking up at the sky could not be lowered because of fear.

‘I think I just saw something. I felt something in front of me, a hand grabbing my shoulder and pulling me off the podium.’

“Don’t look down!”

Wolfgang’s urgent voice was heard, but Clementia inadvertently lowered her gaze. And she ended up seeing the scene where she wanted to deny what was happening.

“She is.”

The front of the pure white podium prepared for Clementia was dyed red. She touched her own  cheek, and a red liquid tinged with her lukewarm temperature was smeared on it.

More blood pours out through the crushed head after hitting the floor. White clothes, white hair, white skin. Everything didn’t seem real. Clementia knows her. A woman she’s always been guilty of. Isaac, who is now dead, his fiancée Calliope, betrayed by her own knight. She has now fallen in front of her.

‘She fell in front of me?’

A half-distorted face, a miserable body that reveals the impact of touching the floor. A muddy wreckage unable to even tell what is what.

“Aaaah!”

Clementia belatedly started screaming at her. As she screams as if she is getting choked, she begins to hear the noises around her. Wolfgang hugs her while she is screaming to calm her down. Ansgarh’s sharp shout calling for a kingdom knight urgently. The square was in chaos after seeing a corpse in a terrible shape.

Screams, cries, and grunts. The square, which was like heaven, began to distort in a disorderly manner. Clementia gasped, but she couldn’t take her eyes off Calliope’s corpse.

It was a good day as if God had given her permission to be happy now because she suffered for a year.

And that year only she, as if matching the wind, earth, sky and sunlight, fell from the sky as if to ridicule her at her reassurance on hoping for a perfect day.

‘Are you trying to forget?’

Calliope’s voice, which she had never heard before, resonated in her head clearly. How dare you pretend as if Isaac doesn’t exist who betrayed me because of you, and the blood that is flowing comes down the floor toward Clementia.

No, no. Struggling back in Wolfgang’s arms, the plump lips that had smiled broadly just moments ago let out a scream, and she began to cry with the voice that whispered that it was a good day. The tears that glistened with longing were stained with fear and sin.

The day, when everyone started to wish for their happiness, quickly turned into malice. On the hottest and warmest day of the year, Calliope Anastas fell like a devil caught among the angels.

If she was alive after falling down and only broke her whole body, she would have laughed at this chaos. Unfortunately, her last breath has long since passed. Calliope of that world killed herself like that.

* * *

(Calliope’s POV)

I opened my eyes. My mind, which was not fully awake, could not think properly. What was I doing? Calliope, who was blinking slowly, pulled off the old blanket in the cold wind.

The wooden wall, which was about to collapse, rattled uneasily every time the wind penetrated. The sky could be seen in the distance through the half-broken shutters barely attached to the windows. Dawn, as the sun is just rising, a whitish sun shines over the mountain peaks.