Total Despair

Country H.

A young man in a white wedding suit was sitting in an old church.

He had delicate features and fair skin. He was leaning against the front church pew with his eyes closed and had a deep frown on his face.

Long Ke Yi was sitting calmly, recalling the man who was called away yesterday by his second brother, saying, “I’m sorry Xiao Yi, I need to go back to China for something. Wait for me to come back.” There was a touch of sarcasm on his lips. Didn’t the man merely break his leg in a minor car accident? His powerful influence in City B was not for nothing. As soon as Ji Yan Tang left, someone informed him of the actual situation.

He had promised to accompany him to church today to take the oath and get the marriage certificate. What was it again? He felt like a big joke.

His mobile phone suddenly rang in the empty church.

Long Ke Yi opened his eyes and looked at the phone. It showed the name “Ji Yan Tang.”

“Hey,” Long Ke Yi answered the phone with a lifeless voice.

“Xiao Yi, I’m sorry, I can’t come today,” he said after more than a one-minute silence.

“Is that right?” This instantly crushed Long Ke Yi’s slight hope.

“Mu Nan was in a car accident and only woke up now. I will return to country H tomorrow to be with you.” The man’s voice sounded dull and tired.

“No need.” Long Ke Yi said coldly and hung up the phone.

Ji Yan Tang didn’t expect Long Ke Yi to reject him. After also hanging up the phone, he called him several times but got no answer. He suddenly felt palpitations in his heart. He rubbed his tired eyebrows with his hands; he was probably exhausted. He called his assistant to book a ticket to country H for tomorrow morning and then returned to the ward.

Long Ke Yi couldn’t tell what he was feeling at the moment. Maybe he was used to feeling pain in his heart. Wasn’t it expected? What else could he look forward to?

He suddenly covered his face with his hands. A few tears fell on the ground and slowly evaporated.

Twenty-two years of entanglement finally ended on his 28th birthday.

He first met the eight-year-old Ji Yan Tang when he was six and was immediately attracted to the cold and estranged boy. He unconsciously got closer to him, hoping he could make him smile that day and then go to elementary school, junior high school, and university together.

He was 16 when he saw his second brother hugging and kissing a beautiful boy. At that time, he remembered Ji Yan Tang and realized he was in love with that indifferent boy.

On his 18th birthday, he failed to confess to Ji Yan Tang. At 19, he knew Ji Yan Tang already had someone he liked, Mu Nan.

He was 25 when Mu Nan had a business marriage. Ji Yan Tang was drunk at the bar, looking at him coldly; at 26, Mu Nan’s wife gave birth to a daughter, and Ji Yan Tang became even more indifferent, but as long as Mu Nan had any difficulties, Ji Yan Tang would clean up his mess. At that moment, Long Ke Yi became discouraged and drifted away from Ji Yan Tang. At 27, Ji Yan Tang asked him to be his boyfriend. He was excited for three days! At 28, Ji Yan Tang asked him to marry him in country H. On his 28th birthday, he gave up all hope for Ji Yan Tang.

For the last 22 years, Long Ke Yi’s life has revolved around Ji Yan Tang.

He skipped school for him; gave up his favorite design major and chose economics management instead; took away his eldest brother’s heir position; endured fatigue and reluctantly managed the company just to stand shoulder to shoulder with him; took many culinary classes just to cook for that rare dinner with him at home. To cool off the relationship between him and the family, his eldest brother gave up the position of the family heir and left with his parents just to avoid him.

Thinking of the past, his heart became numb from all the pain.

After a long time, Long Ke Yi removed his hands from his face, rubbed his sore shoulders, picked up the phone, and looked at the three miscalls. He felt physically and mentally bitter and cold.

With a sigh, he sent a text message to Ji Yan Tang, “Let’s break up.”

He also sent a message to his second brother, Long Ke An. “I hate you, but I still have to thank you right now!”

He switched off the phone and put it in his trouser pockets, then stood up and slowly walked out of the church.

He used to have a very good relationship with his second brother when he was young. At some point, they started to hate each other. When their parents named them, they chose “Ease” as the last word of their names, hoping that they would grow up happily together. Now, this hope was also dashed, and perhaps their parents had been also utterly disappointed in the two gay sons.

He hated Long Ke An. As Ji Yan Tang’s best friend, Long Ke An had always been on Mu Nan’s side. Long Ke An despised his love. He also hated Long Ke An for his close friendships with Ji Yan Tang, so they either quarreled or fought directly every time they met.

That thank you should be correct. This time Long Ke An woke him up completely. He used the cruelest way to let him understand his place in Ji Yan Tang’s heart, but this didn’t mean he didn’t hate Long Ke An.

He was now completely indifferent toward Ji Yan Tang, and he blamed him for his hate. If he didn’t love him, why did he always treat him ambiguously? Why did he go out with him if he didn’t love him? Since he didn’t love him, why did he agree to come to country H to marry him?

If he had refused from the beginning, he wouldn’t be in so much pain now, and he wouldn’t have to worry about personal gains and losses. In fact, Ji Yan Tang was the most ruthless person. How much of a grudge could he hold against him! He first gave him hope and then stabbed him in the heart with a knife, letting him be entrapped in the bubble he had created for him.

“Heh.” Long Ke Yi smiled sadly. It was all over now, wasn’t it?

He walked to the garden fountain, threw the two rings in his hand into it, then looked at the erected Cupid statue in the pool and felt a deep irony.

Screw love. Screw Ji Yan Tang. From now on, it had nothing to do with him.

He wanted to indulge one last time, so Long Ke Yi went to the bar to get drunk. When leaving inebriated, as he was walking up the stairs, a drunk guy at the corner hit him, which caused him to roll back down.

After Long Ke Yi’s consciousness faded, a smile of relief appeared on his face. He didn’t mind dying, but the method was too embarrassing.

In another country, Ji Yan Tang also woke up from a nightmare, turned on the light, and went to the bathroom to wash away the cold sweat. As soon as he came out of the bathroom, he heard his mobile phone ringing.

There was a touch of an oblivious, doting smile at the corner of his mouth. It was Xiao Yi, right? He knew his little tsundere could not really break up with him.

He picked up the phone and saw “Long Ke An” on display. He frowned and answered. “Hey, what’s going on so late?”

“Xiao Yi is dead.” Long Ke An’s hoarse voice was trembling.

“What?” Ji Yan Tang asked incredulously.

Long Ke An shouted with a crying voice through the phone, “Xiao Yi is dead. He was drunk and fell from the stairs to his death. The police in country H just called my brother to inform him.”

Ji Yan Tang’s mind went blank. Long Ke An continued to wail, “Xiao Yi is dead, Xiao Yi is dead, it’s my fault. If I hadn’t called you, he wouldn’t die, and you, Ji Yan Tang … , he’s dead, he’s dead … “

The phone slipped from his ear, while Long Ke An’s voice kept echoing in his head, “He’s dead, he’s dead … “

Ji Yan Tang’s heart was suddenly grabbed by pain. There was a touch of grief and remorse on his pale face. “Xiao Yi, Xiao Yi … “

Long Ke Yi’s delicate face kept appearing in his mind. The happy Long Ke Yi, the excited Long Ke Yi, the shy Long Ke Yi, the angry long Ke Yi, the lively Long Ke Yi, the arrogant Long Ke Yi, the Long Ke Yi who loved him.

At this moment, he finally knew what he had lost.