His Present

I drew Ji Qin according to a photograph and outlined it very carefully. I know that I had not studied painting before, and the painting was very mediocre, but I was going to try my best to make this painting look like Ji Qin in my mind.

To the best of my ability.

This photo was a photo of Ji Qin that I had on my mobile phone a long time ago, and it was also my favourite one—when I went to see Ji Qin play basketball in college. That day as he finished a game and walked off the court, the sunlight fell on his face and made him glow. I looked at him from a distance, and I thought, he was someone from a divine place in my mind.

When I heard the sound of the door opening, I stood up in a bit of a panic, and immediately put away the drawing board which had only just revealed the outline of the figure.

In the end, because I was not familiar with the placement of the studio, I accidentally bumped and made a slight noise.

“Who’s in there?”

Ji Qin’s voice immediately came from outside the door. I cursed inwardly, looked around and didn’t find any place to hide, and the next second Ji Qin opened the door.

“Why are you…” The anticipated rebuke didn’t come, and Ji Qin’s face, which always looked indifferent showed a confused look. He seemed to hesitate for a while, and said uncertainly, “Ze’an?”

I stammered, my face and my ears red with embarrassment, “Sorry, I just came to see it out of curiosity. I didn’t do anything irresponsible…”

Ji Qin was silent, I glanced up at him cautiously to find him in a trance, and the disappointment was visible to the naked eye.

“It’s all Ze’an’s stuff here,” he said, his eyes swept over the oil painting on the ground with restraint and gentleness, and finally slowly turned to my face.

“I haven’t touched anything in there, and I hope you won’t either.”

His tone was flat, but I found it more upsetting than any rebuke.

“…Sorry.” After a long time, I said softly.

I walked out of the fake Ze’an’s studio in silence. Ji Qin closed the door behind me before heading straight for his room.

“Ji Qin!” I called out to him reluctantly, and he stopped at the sound but did not turn around.

“Are you… still waiting for the fake Ze’an to come back?” I said.

Ji Qin turned around abruptly, and I noticed blue veins on the back of his hand as if he was restraining something.

“Ze’an is Ze’an, don’t call him fake Ze’an.”

I was taken aback.

“I told you before… I am the real Ze’an. That man only borrowed my body for a short time to live in.”

Ji Qin said, “…how is it possible, he was obviously a man of his own.”

I was at a loss. It turned out that Ji Qin thought from the beginning that it was me, not Ze’an, who occupied the magpie’s nest, and he hadn’t believed me at all.

How could …… this be?

“So, you’ve been waiting for me to disappear and for him to come back?”

I asked him with a trembling voice, hiding my trembling fingers behind my back.

Ji Qin was silent, but I guessed probably that this was he tacitly agreed.

All this time, I actually wanted to be nice to Ji Qin.

Even though we seemed to be the most ordinary roommates at the moment, and even if he almost never looked at me, I still left a light on for him every time he comes home from work. I always had the coffee ready in the coffee machine, and I always prepared breakfast for two, and each time I gave it to him for the reason that I couldn’t eat it. He resisted it from the beginning, and then accepted it when he couldn’t bear my annoyance anymore.

I didn’t know if he ate it or not.

It was not just to impress him and please him. After all, I had always liked him so much. When I could really get close to him, I couldn’t help but want to be nice to him.

I just didn’t expect that he had been waiting for me to disappear.

Ugh.

I later actually thought that he had already accepted that I was Ze’an, and that he was born with a cold personality and treated me like a dispensable roommate with the same name, so I just continued to get by.

What a…… surprise.

“Actually, I’m the one who’s Ze’an.” Half-heartedly, I began to explain in vain, “It’s you, you’re wrong the one who’s wrong……that person is a fake.”

Ji Qin coldly dropped a sentence, “Where’s the evidence?”

I was dumbfounded for a moment, and when Ji Qin saw my appearance, he sneered and went straight back to the room.

I thought, I really didn’t seem to have enough strong evidence to prove that I am the real Ze’an.

The fake Ze’an had managed to fit into my life successfully and even better in those two years, and I was unable to keep up with any of his rhythms after coming back from the fault.

Even my closest relatives believed in his existence.

But I’m obviously the one who is Ze’an…