I Confessed To The Crossdresser - Chapter 18

Chapter 18

It’s nothing, you’re in denial. (6)

After receiving Vivian’s pure confession, my worries deepened. What do I think of Leto? When I read {How To Recognise A Murderer}, I thought he was simply a pitiful protagonist.

And when I realised I was inside the book, I only tried to prevent my death. Come to think of it, I had really approached Leto with an ulterior motive. It was entirely for me and I never considered Leto at all.

I glanced at Leto during class. Leto, who was unaware, was concentrating on the lecture. It would be really unfortunate if he goes against my wishes and commits murder, but what if he doesn’t?

What is the relationship between me and Leto? How should I treat him? I realised this wasn’t as easy as I had thought it to be. Then, something fell in front of me. It was a note.

Leto had sent me a note first. I couldn’t help but be shocked. My mouth opened naturally as I looked at Leto in surprise. When my eyes met his, Leto’s ears immediately twitched and he turned his head away.

“Leah…”

Touched, I paused to think of a normal reply. I could see him slowly opening his heart to me, but on the other hand, what did I view of Leto? I wondered if it would be alright to leave things as it was.

Initially, I wanted to prevent murder. However, things have changed now. After class was over, I didn’t interact with Leto until lunchtime. Leto looked at me with questioning eyes and followed me around. I flinched when Leto, who would usually skip meals and head to the library, remained next to me.

“A-Aren’t you going to the library?”

“Do you want me to go?”

I shook my head in response to Leto’s words. Of course, it was better to have him by my side. It’s great……When I turned away, Leto frowned and grabbed me. 

“Hey.”

“……Yes?”

“Did Vivian really not say anything? What is it? Did he call you ugly? Did he hate the thick makeup? Annoyed by the perfume? Horrified? Huh?”

Somehow, Leto appeared genuinely concerned. 

“No. He really didn’t say anything.”

“Then why are you so lifeless?”

“Maybe I just don’t feel good?”

“Then let’s go to the infirmary.”

I couldn’t help but feel happy to see Leto genuinely worry about me.

“I-I’m fine. Really!”

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To avoid the situation, I immediately forced a smile and said I was fine. I randomly blurt out the story of massaging a frog that fainted before. Perhaps my nonsense worked, Leto sighed deeply and nodded his head. 

“Then, I’ll be going to the library……If anything happens, you have to come find me.”

“Okay.”

I waved my hand to Leto with a wide smile as he headed to the library. As soon as he disappeared, I immediately erased my smile. While I trudged towards the cafeteria, I heard whispers of girls all around me. At the same time, I felt someone’s presence. I instantly recognised who had approached me.

“Hello, Bree.”

It was Kazen. He greeted me with a smile that captivated women’s hearts. He looked handsome even when he was slightly sweaty, perhaps from exercising. He waved at the other students who greeted him as he passed by them, then looked at my pitiful self.

“Did you fight with Leah again?”

Kazen, who could instantly recognise if I had fought with Leto, asked again today. Though, we didn’t actually fight.

“Kazen, give me some advice.”

At my words, Kazen tilted his head but nodded in the end.

＊ ＊ ＊

Kazen was a busy person so I wondered if he would be able to give me some advice. When a few students approached him, he would greet or briefly chat with them. As time passed by, the number of sausages on my plate gradually decreased. When there were about one or two sausages left, Kazen looked at me with an apologetic expression once he was finally done with his greetings.

“Sorry. Anyways, what did you want to talk about?”

“……Do I really seem like I have an ulterior motive?”

When I said it after much contemplation, Kazen stood still as if processing what I said before bursting into laughter. No, why is he laughing? It was all thanks to his words that I was troubled until now.

“Why are you laughing?”

When I asked, Kazen shook his head.

“Sorry, I didn’t know you’d take my words so seriously.”

“I was just thinking about it.”

“So, you do actually have a motive?”

I couldn’t reply to Kazen’s question.

“What’s wrong with that? Approaching Leah with a motive. Is there anyone who would approach someone purely without a motive? Even now, I came here because I wanted to get to know you, and you came because you wanted to talk to me, didn’t you?”

“Kazen, you wanted to become friends with me?”

“Oh, it’s even more amazing that you didn’t realise that until now.”

I see……Up until now, I thought he had only approached me because I was close to Leto.

“I didn’t know.”

“Anyways, don’t worry too much. It’s fine as long as it’s not malicious, right? You’re not going to use Leah as a means to an end, are you? What’s your intention?”

“I……”

My intention was to prevent murder, so I could live. 

I see, I understand the problem now. I was treating Leto as a means to an end. 

“That’s why it’s obvious, Bree.”

Kazen hit my forehead.

“But, I……”

“I’m not sure why you’re worried, but you shouldn’t dwell about Leah too much. I wouldn’t be that worried about it.”

“Why?”

“The fact that you’re concerned about this right now means that you’re already thinking of Leah, isn’t it?”

“……”

“It’s different compared to before.”

Kazen was very smart. After talking with him, any problems and concerns I had seemed to magically disappear.

Perhaps my expression brightened a little, Kazen smiled and got up.

“I hope everything works out, Bree.”

＊ ＊ ＊

The problem was that I was getting close to Leto with a motive. Of course, my goal to give him affection in hopes he wouldn’t commit murder still stands, but now I had other intentions as well.

“Bree!”

Suddenly, a classmate in front of me called my name. As soon as I came to my senses, a sword hit my arm. The sword in my hand fell from how strong the hit was. Shortly after, my wrist became sore. When I frowned, the kid who struck me on the wrist freaked out and dropped their sword before approaching me.

“Are you okay, Bree?!”

It was a swordsmanship class. My swordsmanship was still poor and I barely concentrated, so my thoughts began to wander elsewhere……It was no surprise that I got hit. But it seems like the injury this time was a little serious. Whenever I tried to move my wrist, I felt a sharp pain. Suddenly, my other classmates flocked around me.

Fan translation by Dropped Inks.

Everyone looked at me with worried eyes, but only one held a different look. Leto came over to me with a pale expression as he stared at my wrist. At the sight of my purple wrist, Leto clenched his teeth as if he was the one who had been injured.

“You should’ve been more careful!”

He yelled at me before lending a hand. 

“Let’s go to the infirmary.”

He explained the situation to the professor and brought me to the main building. I looked at Leto’s back as he dragged me. I can’t believe that I thought of Leto, who worries and cares about me, only as a means to an end. No. I wanted to be closer to Leto with a different intention now.

……I wanted to get to know him. I wanted to be his friend and give him love. I hoped to guide him to a good path. So, I truly wanted to be friends. 

“What is wrong with you? Why do you keep spacing out? This is why you got hurt!……Don’t get hurt anymore.”

Leto grumbled.

I didn’t doubt whether my intentions now were the same as Leto’s. He wanted to get closer to me, too.

“Leah.”

“What?”

“Thank you for worrying about me.”

At my words, Leto quickly shut his mouth from his grumbles. He dragged me to the infirmary without saying a word and opened the door. The nurse had yet to return to the room. As though he was already familiar with this situation, he took out the bandages and medicine himself then placed me on a seat.

Last time, I was the one who treated you. Now, it was the other way around. He gently applied the medicine and wrapped the bandage on my wrist.

“This should suffice before the nurse arrives.”

As Leto was about to let go, I held onto his hand again.

“Ow.”

“Be careful!”

Thanks to that, I hurt my sprained wrist. When I let out a groan, Leto frowned and glanced back at my wrist. He sighed deeply.

“You’ll get better soon once the nurse arrives.”

“……Leah”

I quietly called Leto.

“What?”

He replied bluntly.

“I want to get close to you.”

I meant it. Leto’s shoulders flinched at my words. He didn’t give his usual blunt replies and merely stared at me with widened eyes. Then, he blushed and nodded his head.

Yes, I truly wanted to get closer to Leto. Now that I’ve realised it, I smiled widely. I felt like an old potato that was finally harvested.

“Leah, what are you doing after class? Do you want to go to the cafeteria with me?”

Therefore, I’ll do my best to get closer to him in the future……

“No.”

Leto replied firmly. My heart dropped with a thud.

“I have to go to the library.”

Now that he mentioned it, Leto often goes to the library these days.

“Library? You can just take a break for a day.”

“What?”

He looked at me with a bewildered look.

“What’s wrong?”

“You didn’t know?”

“……Know what?”

“It’s exams soon.”

……Huh?