I Confessed To The Crossdresser - Chapter 22

Midterms and Study Application Form (4)

“Leah.”

Leto did not say anything. He tilted his head up and covered his nose with a handkerchief to prevent more blood from spilling. The sight of Leto struggling to stop the blood was pitiful. The area around Leto’s nose started to stain with blood again.

“Damn it.”

A curse spilt out of Leto’s mouth. Worried, I stopped my tracks and looked at Leto, who didn’t even move. He, apparently, had no intention of going to the infirmary. He must have thought he could stop his nosebleed and so, simply stood there while fiddling with his handkerchief.

As long as he was able to stop the blood, he would be able to go back to the classroom. Recognising Leto’s plan, I pulled his arm.

“Come one, let’s go.”

“It’s fine, you go first.”

Leto said in a stiff tone. How can I go in alone when he’s struggling to block the blood? The nosebleed was one issue, but Leto’s physical condition was also a concern. He hadn’t eaten anything or gotten any sleep.

It wouldn’t be a surprise if he collapsed at any moment. I’m sure he was clearly aware of his physical condition. Yet, he still insists on being stubborn.

“You!”

“……?”

“You punk who dips sausages in strawberry jam instead of ketchup!”

My voice echoed in the hallway. Leto stopped his action and stared at me, eyes wide in shock.

“Don’t you realise this is just troubling you even more!?”

“W-What?”

“Stop thinking about studying and get treatment quickly! Why are you being stubborn and making me worry if you leave it untreated?”

“W-Who told you to worry?”

Leto stuttered in embarrassment.

“Then wouldn’t you be worried that your friend is spilling blood like a fountain next to you? That’s bullshit!”

“……Al-Alright, be quiet……”

“So, now you get it? Let’s hurry.”

I immediately lowered my voice and grabbed Leto’s arm. Before he could change his mind, I hurried to the infirmary and glanced at him. He was still tilting his head and wiping off the nosebleed.

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Fortunately, the nurse was in the infirmary this time. At the sight of Leto covered with blood, she swiftly rose up and led him to the bed. She gave Leto ice and medicine and wiped the blood clean. Luckily, the nosebleed stopped shortly afterwards.

The problem was that as soon as the blood stopped, Leto insisted on returning to the classroom. The nurse tried to force him to lie down, saying that he should get enough rest, but Leto refused. I let out a deep sigh. Flinching at my sigh, Leto stiffened and returned to the bed.

Reluctantly lying on the bed, he looked at me as he positioned himself to lie down properly. 

Leto Arsene. I knew how much he studied to be loved by his parents. It wasn’t that I didn’t understand Leto’s mind as he sat at his desk all day to avoid the cold gazes sent toward him.

“Sleep well.”

I touched Leto’s forehead. As expected, it was hot. There was no way the fever wouldn’t go away. Not only did he overwork his body, he even spilt out blood. If we had arrived a little later, Leto might have collapsed.

“……There’s a lot I haven’t done. I have to attend classes and I haven’t finished studying the core subjects yet……”

“I haven’t done that either.”

“You’re different from me.”

He said firmly. I knew very well that no matter what I say, he wouldn’t listen to me. Still, I gently opened my mouth and stroked Leto’s red hair.

“Why is that? I’m not like you, but I play the same role. I also studied hard all night.”

“That’s why you’re recognised.”

Leto turned his head and looked into my eyes. His black eyes, which trembled anxiously, appeared as though they were about to burst into tears. Without realising, I held my breath.

“You…..You are recognised.”

How much weight did those words carry? Leto closed his eyes. Closing my mouth, I covered his eyes with my hand. Contrary to my worries, he fell asleep rather easily but a cold sweat appeared on Leto’s face as he had nightmares throughout the whole time.

Leto’s hands quivered. No matter how hard I tried to hold him, the tremble did not transfer to my hand. Leto only slept for an hour before waking up to study again.

＊  ＊  ＊

I knew very well that no comfort words would reach Leto now. When my family collapsed and my parents’ expectations turned towards me, I was the same. I studied every day bearing the responsibilities of a young breadwinner.

There was a time when I, too, had a nosebleed to get into Lexley Academy. Even I, who grew up receiving a lot of love from my parents, couldn’t sleep due to the heavy pressure. So what about Leto? Therefore, I wanted to help him, even just once. Even for a little bit……

“Is there any flower that smells good? Just one flower!”

The gardener widened her eyes as she saw me panting. I needed to head towards the library to study soon, so I didn’t have much time left. As I paced around anxiously, the gardener returned and showed me some flowers.

“What’s this? Not going to blindly buy roses again?”

“I don’t need decorative flowers. Is there any flower that calms your mind just by looking at it and relieves tension just by smelling it?”

“Are you going to give it to that friend?”

“My friend studied all night. I wanted to give them a flower for relief.”

“Still, does it have to be a flower? How about tea? I have tea leaves for those.”

Fan translation by Dropped Inks.

Why didn’t I think of tea leaves? When I nodded, the gardener placed the flowers back and handed me a few colourful envelopes containing the tea leaves. It was a few types of tea leaves that helped relieve tension and body fatigue. I smelled all of them one by one and chose the tea leaves from a red envelope that matched Leto’s red hair.

“Right, it’s exam season.”

The gardener muttered as I was taking out the money.

“I had a hard time with the exams too.”

“Are you a Lexley Academy graduate too?”

“Of course.”

I had a feeling. The walls of this greenhouse were embedded with the Lexley Academy pattern. There was also a picture of the gardener in her school uniform.

“Top student, I think?”

……I must have committed many sins in my previous life. Why are there so many geniuses, talented and top-ranked people all around me? I’ve never met a kid who was at the bottom or a mediocre like me.

“Anyway, it’s best to do what you want to do.”

“Are you satisfied?”

“Of course.”

When I handed the money, the gardener gave me a letter along with the change.

“You’re going to need this, right?”

At the gardener’s words, I smiled and nodded.

“Thanks!”

After buying the tea leaves, I hurried to the library. After apologising to Senior Jimbo, who had arrived first, I placed down the leaves and started studying. There was only about a week left until the exam starts. As if it was the last day, I studied even harder than before.

“It’s gotten a little better.”

Unlike the first terrible comment I received from Senior Jimbo, he said it has improved now. At that one word, I felt so proud that I could even ascend at any moment. And only then, did I realise something.

Just because any words didn’t seem to work for Leto, does it really mean it didn’t mean anything? I felt thrilled just by hearing one sentence from Senior Jimbo.

I wanted to convey this feeling to Leto.

“What are you thinking about so much?”

Senior Jimbo looked at me smiling strangely.

“Senior, can we finish early today?”

“Do as you please.”

The senior nodded his head and replied in a languid tone. Instead of the normal five hours of studying, I finished studying in four hours before heading back to the dormitory. Leto might still be in the library, as the dorm room was dark. I sat in the room and took out the tea leaves I had bought in the evening. 

I examined the envelope and letter that I received from the gardener just now. Pushing aside the books on my desk, I carefully began to write the letter. I hoped that this letter, which I carefully thought about every word, reached Leto.

When I finally finished writing the letter, I placed the letter in the middle of Leto’s desk along with the tea leaves in the red envelope. After that, I studied for three more hours before lying down in bed. An hour later, Leto entered the dorm.

I woke up involuntarily by the sounds of tossing and ruffling. Since he had just returned, perhaps he was taking off his uniform and heading towards the bathroom. Has he noticed the letter? Slowly peeking my eyes open, I glanced at the letter that was still on the desk and closed my eyes again. Just in time, Leto, who had just washed up, came out.

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Then, he dragged his chair and stopped.

He saw it.

I heard the rustling sound of the envelope which contained the tea leaves. Even then, Leto stayed still, not moving so I wasn’t sure if had opened the letter or not. It was my wish to have my feelings reach him. My heart was starting to pound. Opening my eyes, I could see Leto smiling.

The gentle smile made me pause. Leto’s soft smile was beautiful. I wanted to see more of it, but I had no choice but to close my eyes again to prevent getting caught.

Still, I couldn’t hide the good feeling. I had a dream. It was a dream where Leto said my nickname for the first time.

“Thank you, Bree.”

It felt like the dream was real and my heart tickled.

＊  ＊  ＊

[ To my dear friend, Leah.

Hi, Leah. I wanted to talk to you, but you seem busy these days, so I’m sending you this letter.

My purpose for sending this letter is simple, Leah. It’s because I always support you. Even though I’m worried about you studying all day, I’m still rooting for you. I also know that you work very hard.

That’s why, as your friend, I’m very proud of you, Leah. It’s nice to see you always working and doing your best. Seeing you like that always motivates me too. Did you know? I joined the study group because of your hard work!

Leah, you’re doing enough as my driving force, so don’t worry. Being an example for someone already means that you have done a great job, isn’t it?

Also, I want you to know one thing. Even if someone insults you, slanders you and hates you, I won’t treat you like that. Whether you are in the last place or not, I will still like you, and if you do something bad, I won’t curse you. I will guide you to the right path.

I’ve talked a lot, Leah. I just wanted to mention this.

You are my proud friend. ]