I Confessed To The Crossdresser - Chapter 33
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Chapter 33
Unkind Words (3)
After I took a shower, cleaned my room, and changed into my school uniform, I went downstairs to have breakfast. Many students were already gathering below the dormitory. I picked up a few pieces of bread and spread strawberry jam on them. Then, I wrapped them in paper, secretly placed them in my bag and left the dormitory.
The weather was especially nice today. The sun was shining and the sky was clear. It felt nice to not have a single cloud. I headed straight to the library to find Leto, who is likely studying somewhere. The library, which I thought would have been empty, was packed in the morning. Perhaps the exam results were so shocking that everyone began concentrating on their studies.
Then, I found Leto alone, holding a pencil with his head bowed in front of me.
“Leah.”
As I approached him carefully, he took a glance and ignored me. He appeared to mean to not disturb him. I also didn’t intend to disturb his studies, but I couldn’t just ignore that pale complexion.
“Not today. Come here.”
I dragged Leto’s arm recklessly. Shocked by my sudden force, he couldn’t resist, hurriedly grabbed his book and followed me. I held onto Leto’s arm, for fear he might escape.
“What are you doing?”
When Leto came outside the hallways, he looked at me and asked furiously. Ignoring Leto’s words, I rummaged through my bag, took out the bread I had packed earlier and shoved it in Leto’s mouth. Leto was startled by the sweet scent of strawberry jam in his mouth and soon began to chew the bread in his mouth.
“Even if you’re busy studying, you should at least eat breakfast.”
“……Thank you.”
Leto murmured, avoiding my gaze.
“I won’t interrupt your study anymore. See you in class later, Leah. Fighting!”
I smiled and cheered for him. Leto stared at me blankly and I was about to leave before he could say anything, but he suddenly grabbed my wrist.
“W-Wait!”
I flinched as he grabbed my wrist without warning. When I turned my head, I saw Leto’s helpless face.
He dropped the bread on the floor to grab my hand, then looked at my face and the bread alternately. I stared at the thick strawberry jam on the hallway floor. The bread fell on the side fully coated with jam, so it couldn’t be eaten anymore.
“……What a waste.”
I bent my knees and hurriedly lifted the bread.
“Shall I make another one, Leah?”
“……No.”
“What do you mean no, you need to eat breakfast! What if your nose bleeds again?”
When I yelled, Leto hardened and kept his mouth shut tightly. Leto seemed weird since earlier. He didn’t reject my actions and was lukewarm. It wasn’t that I wasn’t grateful. It was quite frustrating as it seemed like he had something to say but couldn’t do it. It might have something to do with the ranking.
“Wait here, I’ll make another one.”
After wrapping the bread and throwing it in the trash can, I left the library. I glanced at the clock and it was only nine o’clock. By 9 o’clock, the breakfast under the dormitory must have started cleaning up. I moved my legs quickly, in hopes that I wouldn’t be late. My breathe became heavy and my throat felt dry.
But I didn’t stop running, and I saw the staffs who were just cleaning up the breakfast.
“Wait!”
Fortunately, the bread and strawberry jam had not been touched yet.
“One piece of bread, please. No, can I just put strawberry jam on the bread too?”
I was asking, but my body had already begun to spread the strawberry jam on the bread. Surprised by my behaviour, the staffs stopped cleaning up. Before they could even stop me from doing anything, I left the dormitory with a slice of strawberry jam covered bread.
It was another sprint. The strawberry jam spilled on my hand, but I rushed to the library without minding and headed to Leto’s seat earlier.
“……Leah?”
But Leto was nowhere to be seen. His books and pens were all gone. I turned my head to look for Leto, but someone came up behind me and tapped me on the head with a book.
“Ack.”
“Food is not allowed in the library, Briseis Pierre.”
When I looked up, Professor Hartz stood there holding a thick book with a blank expression.
“Professor, have you seen Leah Arsene?”
“Now you’re even chatting with the professor at the library. You have lost your fear.”
It was useless to ask. I slipped out of the library before the professor could say anything. Holding the bread that has lost its owner.
* * *
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I couldn’t find Leto, but I had many opportunities to meet him later. I couldn’t throw away the bread I was holding, so I swallowed it in one bite and killed some time. And when class was about to start, Leto was nowhere to be seen when I arrived in the classroom.
There was still some time until class, so I decided to sit down and wait. The students slowly began to enter and the classroom became noisy.
“Bree?”
Vivian’s voice was heard. Come to think of it, Vivian had the same liberal arts class today. He looked around me, carefully pulled back the chair next to me and sat down.
“I don’t see Leah.”
“I came separately today.”
At my words, Vivian’s tension on his face eased slightly. Vivian seemed to be afraid of Leto, who was openly displeased with him. Well, all the students felt the same when they saw Leto. It was difficult to approach the cold and sharp Leto.
Just as I was thinking about him, the door opened and Leto came in.
As I rose up from my seat with joy, he pretended not to know me and passed by me.
“Leah?”
Even when I called him, he ignored me. He sat on the desk far away from me and quietly opened his book. I was stunned and Vivian, who was sat beside me, was also shocked as he looked at Leto and I alternately.
“Did you guys…fight?”
“Yeah……”
I didn’t even realise that I fought with Leto. For some reason, I was afraid. If I approached him, Leto would probably treat me coldly. Maybe he’ll drive me away just like he did when we first met. Of course, I’ll still approach him even if he does. Even so, I smiled sadly at the anxiety I had never felt before.
“Leah is busy studying these days. Wouldn’t it be better to not disturb her?”
“Yes.”
Vivian’s response dropped my confidence even further. If even Vivian said so, Leto’s reaction towards me must be really cold.
Thanks to that, I couldn’t concentrate throughout the entire class and only glanced at Leto while worrying. The sole reason he was avoiding me was because his grades went down. For that ridiculous reason, Leto was openly trying to avoid me, so I became nervous.
I was mulling over on how to approach Leto carefully, who cared so much about his grades. Whatever I did, it was obviously disturbing him. I used to be like that too. It was when I spent days and nights studying to enter the Lexley Academy. I became so sensitive that I even took my anger out on my mother, who was bringing meals for me.
‘Eat some bread. You’ll faint at this rate.’
‘No, I won’t eat it, don’t touch me!’
‘……This kid!’
What did my mother do to me back then? I’m pretty sure my mother got angry and forcefully shoved the bread into my mouth. And when I still refused to eat, my mother kicked me out of the mansion. In the cold winter, I was kicked out in my pyjamas, so in the end, I couldn’t resist and had to comply.
However, I couldn’t apply this method to Leto. Instead, I think it’s best to approach him even more carefully than before.
‘Yeah, there’s no need to be afraid!’
After class, I approached Leto before he could even leave his seat.
“Talk to me, Leah.”
“……I have nothing to say.”
After dodging my gaze, he rose up from his seat and passed by me. Was he going to leave me alone like this?
I hurriedly blocked his way again and stared at Leto.
“I have something to tell you.”
“Can’t you keep it to yourself?”
“Will you please listen to me?”
The eyes of the students in the classroom turned our way as we argued. Leto let out a deep sigh as if the sudden gaze at him was burdensome.
“You’re in the way.”
“What?”
I asked back at his sharp words.
“You’re getting in the way of my studies. It’s really annoying, so get lost.”
He spit out mean words, pushed me away and disappeared. I stood frozen in place. Vivian, who was beside me, called me while glancing at Leto and I. I couldn’t respond to his call.
My anxious foreboding was right. Leto was trying to distance himself from me. That’s why he became fierce and said harsh words without hesitation.
“Bree……Hey, it’s alright.”
But, Leto you prick, no matter the case, this was crossing the line.
“……It’s because I’ve really been putting up with it.”
“…….”
“Do I look like a pushover?”
And I was very, very mad about it.