I Cut off the Exes That Ridiculed Me, Deciding To Live as I Please, but It Seems They All Liked Me for Some Reason - Chapter 20-3

The night of the day he finally spoke up, I lay down and thought.

As if it was an outlandish dream, he finally brandished his emotions. Now, our relationship can finally move forward and I’ll be able to say goodbye to this persona that berated Yuu every single day. Up until now, I was content to just watch her spit, but now that our bond has been rekindled she’ll have no choice but to step off.

There was just one problem. Maybe since he just started putting his feelings out there, but now he’s in danger of being swallowed by them. In fact, he was so possessed by anger that he said things he’d never say, such as me being a stranger.

Even if it wasn’t true, his words cut me deeply and I cried. Of course, I still know he didn’t mean it, and regardless, I’ll be able to talk with him properly tomorrow. I will be honest and tell him everything.

The next day, I sat at his desk waiting for him. Yesterday I cried a lake, but I still didn’t know whether they were tears of sadness or happiness. All I knew was that my eyes were still swollen. Oh, what if he sees my face and blames it on himself? I’ll need to clear up that misunderstanding then.

After a few moments in thought, Yuu finally walks into the classroom with a happy smile plastered on his face. I raised my hand lightly to greet him, but, for some reason, he was dumbfounded and ignored me. As I tried to make out what was wrong, he finally said something.

“That’s my seat. Scram.”

Looks like I was the only one able to sort out my feelings, but I guess it’s understandable. I’d do the same if I suddenly poured out years of bottled-up feelings. That’s why I spun my next words as gently as I could as if admonishing him.

“Yuu, I see you’re finally open about your feelings, but yesterday’s joke was harsh. I was upset to hear you didn’t think of me as a friend, even if that was banter on your part. Besides, call me Yumi like you used—”

“It wasn’t a joke.”

Before I could even finish, he cut my words off with a violent tone. Rather than subsiding, his anger only seemed to grow, and the glimmer in his eyes flickered out. It was then I felt a sense of urgency. The situation deviated extremely far from what I’d expected, and I have to calm him down somehow.

“Hey, Yuu? Stop pretending to be mad at me. I’m sorry if I did something, but it’s about yo—”

“You’re sorry…? What good is apologizing now? My heart is already in shambles because of you people always denying my every feeling. Even if you uncrumple a piece of paper, trying to put it back together, the wrinkles will never fade. Never.”

I didn’t want to believe it, but as soon as those words parted from his lips, I understood. All he felt for me was anger and hatred. My cooperation was essential for him to regain his true self, but he doesn’t understand that. To him, I’m only a lousy cheater who kept berating him for no reason at all.

An iron-cold hand squeezed my heart, and my face scrunched up.

“T–that’s… My efforts… For what I’ve…”

I was unable to wrap my head around his venom-laced words. Regret grabbed every inch of my bowels and twisted, despair taking every bit of space in my mind. Everything I’ve done has been denied. No, no, no, no, no. I have to look forward and explain it properly, but I can’t meet his eyes. Before my murky feelings spilled over, before even tears rolled down my face, I ran out of the classroom.

I don’t remember exactly what happened from there, but I found myself collapsed on my bed. From the lack of light, I understood night had already fallen.

My heart was in tatters from this unacceptable reality, one in which he completely rejected me. I’d worked so hard for our future, and yet this is what I get for sacrificing those days we could’ve spent together.

…However, I can’t give up.

Was what I did wrong? Regardless, no matter how many tears drip to the floor, no matter how much I mourn, the past will never change. But now I need to figure out a way to explain everything to him. That we didn’t break up because I hated him; that I didn’t berate him because I found him any of those things… I have to tell him somehow.

Despite my determination, I couldn’t find one lead to improve this whole situation, and time passed by unbothered.

Furthermore, when I saw that junior walking into the classroom with him, both having a blast of a conversation, my heart almost tore itself out of my chest. I also don’t understand why he talked to a random girl with brightly colored hair from that stupid school without hesitation.

I noticed he was softer than the day he cut me off, so I was left wondering if he’d still treat me the same. Before I even knew it, everything passed by me.

Why wasn’t I in their position?

While I don’t know the relationship between him and those girls, I could tell from afar that something was going on. I don’t think I’m in any way inferior to them, yet here I am. The only loser.