I Don’t Want to Be Loved - Chapter 226

Chapter 226: The Departure 

Rihannan steeled the thoughts in her mind. She barely stopped the tears forming in the far corner of her eyes. She loathed Igor, more so than she ever did in the past. At least the man she knew then had never manipulated her. 

The next day, before leaving for the seasonal palace, Rihannan picked up the mail that she had not touched in a while. It was a gaudy object, its box made from cut chrysoprase. The outer layer was adorned with gold platings and intricate patterns etched onto it. Remembering that she was locked in the cold prison grounds for the mails contained inside the mailbox that she did know existed caused her vision to darken for a moment. She wasn’t sure what happened back then.

Igor would answer the lingering questions in her mind were she to ask him, but this was a possibility. He might lie. There was no use asking him what happened. She’d only end up hammering another nail on her wounded heart.

Rihannan then realized the reason why she was persistently trying to keep Igor quiet so much. It was a kind of self-defence that she was putting up so that she wouldn’t be hurt anymore. In the end, the only reason was that she didn’t want to hear the truth that he had thrown her away from his own mouth.

With a sound of a satisfying click, the lid became unlocked and was opened. Inside the mailbox was mails that Rihannan herself had read and kept inside. Because of what she remembers from her past, Rihannan made sure that all the mails were catalogued and taken care of properly. For any mail that was from someone that she wasn’t completely sure, she wouldn’t even open them and regularly burn them in a pile.

As Rihannan was organizing the mails she received from queen mother, her gaze turned towards the pile of paper next to the mailbox which were all mails that weren’t organized properly and was just piling up. The mails that Rihannan told Mrs. Cessley to not bother checking and organizing had been piled up this high without any organization. Rihannan felt firsthand just how much busywork that Mrs. Cessley has to deal with regularly.

“My Queen, is your preparation complete? Shall we start departing now?”

“Yes.”

Mrs. Cessley entered the room, and Rihannan stood from her seat. Mrs. Cessley put a warm coat made of fur on Rihannan’s body and b*ttoned up Rihannan’s coat herself.

“Since the early part of pregnancy has passed so you don’t need to worry, but if you start to feel uncomfortable in any way, please inform the attendants immediately.”

“I understand.”

“And since the royal villa is much colder than here, you must be very careful about your temperature. You have to always make sure your hands and feet are warm and… Ah, I really should just follow you there…”

Seeing Mrs. Cessley still agonizing over whether to go to the royal villa together with her, Rihannan let out a laughter.

“You said that you may be shot by the queen mother’s arrow if you were to arrive there. I cannot bear to lose you like that, so please don’t worry, I’ll be going there alone. More than anything…” Rihannan pointed at the pile of letters with a slightly embarrassed expression. “…While I am at the royal villa, could you take on the job of organizing the letters that arrived again? Just as I thought, it is too much for me to do it myself.”

Mrs. Cessley let out a loud laughter. “Yes, My Queen. Of course I will.”

Igor promptly matched the schedule and sent a carriage along with guards to Rihannan. As Rihannan got on the carriage, it started departing immediately. Sitting alone inside the carriage, she opened up the curtain slightly when the carriage was about to pass the main palace. Along with the elegantly designed palace buildings surrounded by beautiful scenery, the point that Rihannan’s gaze went towards was the window located at the highest point of the palace.

Rihannan remembered long ago the moment when she was leaving this palace in the past. At that time she was so elated that she felt that all the happiness in the world was in her arms. It was because of what Igor had said to her just before she was about to leave.

“I will visit regularly. It may not be daily, but… Actually, if time allows, then I will be visiting daily.”

And when Igor took her into his embrace, she felt as if all her wounds and sorrow that had been built up in her heart melted away in that moment. She believed that the three of them can move beyond the painful past and move on to become happier. Although she realized that it was all lies in the end…

Rihannan closed the curtain with a long sigh. She leaned her head on the wall inside the carriage and closed her eyes. She wished with all her heart that everything will be over and she will be able to leave this place once and for all.