I Don’t Want to Win Lying Down - Chapter 34

Chapter 34: My First Kiss Is Gone Just Like That?!

Translator: EndlessFantasy Translation

Editor: EndlessFantasy Translation

On his first day back, Xu Mang felt great. He made his way to the cafeteria with his head held high, feeling as though he was on the Hollywood red carpet. The student council? The school basketball team? All of them were nothing in Xu Mang’s eyes!

At that moment, Xu Mang finally understood why students with good grades could get away with anything.

‘Hmm?! Ms. Wang still owes me a five-thousand yuan red packet, right?’

Xu Mang thought back to the competition. Wang Xue had told him that if he were to win first place, she would give him a reward. Now that he had fulfilled his side of the deal, shouldn’t he cash his prize in?

In the end, Xu Mang decided not to ask Wang Xue for the money. Ms. Wang didn’t have it easy. She had just given birth to twins, and both were boys, no less. In this day and age, giving birth to a boy basically meant throwing away most of your life savings.

A car at a young age, a house as soon as they graduated, school fees from kindergarten all the way to university—in the unfortunate event where they were good at studying and wanted to get their Masters or PhDs, that was just more money down the drain, not to mention their daily expenses.

That would be at least three million, right?

In that case, having two boys at once would be over 6 million, the stress Ms. Wang had was unimaginable!

Back in the classroom, Xu Mang handed Yang Xiaoman her bread and milk. He did find it a little strange. She was already lacking in the chest and butt department, and yet, she never ate anything other than bread and milk. No wonder she wasn’t going through puberty correctly.

“Yang Xiaoman… Can I ask you something?” Xu Mang asked out of curiosity.

“What!”

“How old are you?” Xu Mang asked. “Are you really sixteen?”

“What are you asking this for?” Yang Xiaoman was annoyed. “My age has nothing to do with you. Why are you asking for clarification like that? Are you having dirty thoughts about me? I’ll give you an answer… beat it!”

Xu Mang was dumbfounded. This woman was always so confident… putting aside all of her other shortcomings, just the fact that she looked as though she was fourteen years young was enough to put Xu Mang off. China’s “Law on the Protection of Minors” was no joke, he could be put behind bars.

“Perhaps you’ve overthought things? I am a man of culture, and I like my women tall and busty.” Xu Mang looked at Yang Xiaoman in disdain. “Girls like you… And I’m not lying when I say this, I wouldn’t have you even if you gave yourself to me!”

Yang Xiaoman exploded.

She whipped her head around the class and scanned the surroundings—all their classmates were at the canteen, only the two of them were still there.

Standing up, Yang Xiaoman cracked her knuckles, a wicked smile spreading across her face as she approached Xu Mang.

Xu Mang knew that he was in deep trouble, but his stubbornness won over all his other senses. He wasn’t going to take this humiliation sitting down anymore, otherwise… his sense of masculinity would leave him forever.

The fists came flying, but Xu Mang wasn’t scared, even putting his face forward, and it was at this point that he realized that he had screwed up.

“Ow!”

One very (not) manly scream later, Xu Mang grit his teeth through the pain, taking advantage of Yang Xiaoman’s opening and went in to grab her by the waist.

“I’ll take you down!”

“Over my dead body!”

Xu Mang and Yang Xiaoman were rolling on the floor, still firmly attached to each other.

Perhaps whatever higher being watching them thought there wasn’t enough drama, and so, in the midst of the chaos, the two met lips.

“…”

“…”

Xu Mang froze up, and so did Yang Xiaoman.

They didn’t know what to do next and just lay there on the floor in each other’s arms.

Sometime later, Xu Mang pulled himself up and scratched the back of his neck. “I’m sorry… It was an accident.”

Yang Xiaoman started crying.

This was the second time she had cried in her entire life.

Her first kiss!

She lost her first kiss just like that?!

“Waah! I got snogged by a pig! I’m. So. Angry… Waaahhhh!” Yang Xiaoman had evolved into a berserker, her DPS shooting through the roof.

After shouting it out loud, her anger began to burn even hotter.

Please say your prayers for our Xu Mang.

***

“Hey. Do you really have to be so gloomy about it? It wasn’t just your first kiss, mine’s gone too!”

School was now over, and Xu Mang tried talking with Yang Xiaoman.

“Your first kiss!? Yours is completely worthless!” Yang Xiaoman glared at him. “Do you know how long I’ve kept it? Sixteen whole years! Do you know how I’ve spent these past sixteen years?”

“You’re so melodramatic!” Xu Mang looked at Yang Xiaoman, screaming his heart out on the inside.

Soon, Yang Xiaoman’s Maybach had arrived.

“Give me a ride?”

“Go ride the d*mn bus!”

Seeing Yang Xiaoman leave, Xu Mang let out the sigh he had been keeping in. What a sensitive woman.

Xu Mang took the last bus home. Even with the bus completely empty, Xu Mang still went to sit in his usual spot. He couldn’t help it, one’s habits weren’t so easily changed.

Host—Xu Mang

Virtue: Level 1

Intelligence: Level 1

Physical: Level 1

Aesthetics: Level 1

Labor: Level 1

Upgrade Cards * 13

English = 1520

Chinese = 1270

Mathematics = 1490

***

Sweetened Egg Dessert Eating Skill

Secretly Snacking During Class Skill 

Secretly Playing Phone During Class Skill

Xu Mang had suffered a great loss during the few days he had been suspended.

Midterms were almost here, and right after that, there was the Math Olympiad in December. There was so much going on, but Xu Mang only had so many points to spend.

Xu Mang shook his head. He couldn’t continue ‘falling’ like this, he had to become a corpse tomorrow, out like a light as soon as he lay down.

Hm…

He needed 12 more Upgrade Cards to upgrade one of his skills, but he only had one task that he hadn’t completed yet.

“This is so annoying! I don’t have enough tasks.”

Xu Mang pulled at his hair, feeling completely helpless for the first time in his life. This system was amazing, but its flaw was that you had to seek out tasks and quests yourself to activate them, otherwise, you’d never be able to upgrade a skill ever again.

***

The next day, the sun rose once more.

Xu Mang had just stepped onto the bus headed to school when he bumped into a girl from his school, Tang Xin.

“Xu Mang?! I heard you won first place.” Tang Xin took the seat next to Xu Mang. She was different now, a wide smile plastered upon her face.

A fake smile.

That was the impression Tang Xin gave Xu Mang.

“Please refer to me as Genius, thank you!” Xu Mang had a serious expression.

“…”

“Genius Xu Mang, could you teach me how to write essays like you?” Tang Xin asked with a smile. “Writing has always been one of my worst subjects, I always get it out of topic. Could you help me with my troubles?”

“Oh?” Xu Mang was momentarily stunned, and he asked, “Let’s not talk about that first, what about that macho-school-basketball-team-boyfriend of yours?”

“Um… We broke up, he… he wasn’t right for me.” Tang Xin shifted uncomfortably in her seat.

“Is that so.” Xu Mang nodded. “Well then, I’ll ask you a question. If you answer correctly, I’ll agree to tutor you in your writing.”

“Ask away!”

“Who’s hotter, your macho ex-boyfriend, or me?” Xu Mang asked.

“You! You’re so much hotter than him!” Tang Xin answered in earnest.

Hearing that answer, Xu Mang was pleased. Maybe this woman was worth saving after all!

But then, Tang Xin sneezed, and Xu Mang froze up beside her.

“You… you have a cold?”

“Yeah.”

Xu Mang hesitated, slowly pointing to the seat across the aisle, saying in complete seriousness, “Please keep your distance from me, I don’t want you infecting me!”