I Don’t Want to Win Lying Down - Chapter 40

Chapter 40: Since Feng Had Already Been Born, Why Was Mang Ever Born

It was the last half hour before the start of the Buffalo Wings Challenge, and the abandoned gymnasium was already filled to the brim with people. Even some of the livelier teachers had joined in the Wahaha big battle.

The Handicap odds were constantly changing, but the margins were insignificant. Of course…only Xu Mang’s odds remained unchanged. It was the biggest odd in history, 1:500!

“Eh? Xu Mang actually has people betting on him?” A physical education teacher said in astonishment as he looked at Xu Mang’s Handicap curiously. “And it’s a whole ten boxes…giving a freebie here?”

“It’s that girl named Yang Xiaoman.” A random student spoke up. “She came pulling an entire cart of Wahaha over, saying that she’ll place it all on Xu Mang…it was useless to try and persuade her otherwise. Now I really understand the saying, good advice is wasted on those that are sh*t, and the greatest compassion cannot help those who don’t want to be helped.”

In regards to the actions of Yang Xiaoman, everyone present couldn’t help but let out a disappointed sigh. They couldn’t imagine that such a smart and beautiful girl also had times when her IQ couldn’t help her. Xu Mang was clearly the most inferior contestant and that was one gigantic bet.

“Well, it’s hard to say. What if Xu Mang became the dark horse?” The same teacher said while laughing. “But you can try placing a bet of one carton on him just in case he wins, so that would be 500 bottles there!”

“What!”

Everyone sighed.

“Teacher!”

“That’s too farfetched, right?” A random student said weakly. “Why don’t you bet one box, and we’ll bet one bottle!”

“Hehe…I’m only joking.” The teacher responded sheepishly.

Time passed, and finally, it was 5 minutes before the start. The bets were closed, and all the Wahaha AD Calcium Milk were moved to the competition venue. Wahaha was just a way to pass time, the real deal was the competition.

There were a total of ten players standing in the waiting area, lining up one after another with Xu Mang at the rear.

“Teachers and students! Welcome to the universe’s most Deadly Buffalo Wings Competition! First, let us list down the rules. One, you can’t touch any kind of liquid during the duration of the competition. Two, you are not allowed to leave your own designated area. Three, you are not allowed to take a break of more than one minute during the competition at any time. Four, you can’t have more than 2 spicy wings in wastage!”

“There is no time limit to this competition, only to the death and the last one standing!”

“Now!”

“Let us invite our contestants to make an appearance!”

The second-rate host stood in the first-rate venue, delivering that third-rate speech which made everyone present expressionless, but that wasn’t the point anyway. The host was unaware of this and continued to foil the atmosphere.

“Introducing, that champion of last year’s competition—Zhang Feng!”

A shy boy walked up to the stage, and there was a sudden round of thundering applause from the audience. Most of them were classmates who had placed bets with their Wahaha on him.

“Huo Feiyan!”

“Jin Feifei!”

“Qian…”

The applause continued up to the end until Xu Mang made an appearance, and that was when the entire venue’s atmosphere changed.

“There is only one new contestant in the competition, the one people have dubbed as the crazy suicidal guy—Xu Mang!”

Xu Mang walked onto the stage with a smile, but he was greeted with a round of laughter that seemed to be never-ending.

Suicidal, crazy, simply moronic…

The various combinations of words used made the entire audience crack up. There was no helping it…in the eyes of everyone else, Xu Mang was this kind of person. He always brought about new joke materials, like joining the deadly buffalo wings competition.

“Xu Mang!”

“Make sure to eat more!”

The students below the stage were starting their jeers, it seemed as though the outcome wasn’t important to them anymore. It was more enjoyable to see Xu Mang get admitted into the hospital.

The jeers and laughter didn’t bother Xu Mang so much, not even the sarcasm or insults.

This was because Xu Mang had gotten used to it, gotten used to words that were never encouraging, and gotten used to being insulted by everyone present.

Every school or class had such a person, the laughingstock. There wasn’t any special reason nor any particular reason at all, it was just an existence that was needed.

Xu Mang just happened to be that unlucky person.

The contestants were all in place, waiting for the competition to begin.

“Game…start!”

At the signal from the host, all the contestants put on their disposable gloves and began to frantically shove the deadly buffalo wings into their mouths.

Everyone, except Xu Mang.

Opening the System’s interface, he looked for the two skills.

Spicy Eater Skill = 200

Hungry Ghost Skill = 10

‘System, how many points do I need to eat these deadly buffalo wings?’

[System has detected, to not taste the spiciness when eating the buffalo wings will require: 10 points (Spicy Eater Skill)]

[Note: 10 points (Spicy Eater Skill): 10 minutes]

[Note: Please cleanse your stomach once the skill effect has ended!]

[Note: Do not do number 2 to avoid the spicy explosion.]

Exchange!

‘System, I need to turn on the Hungry Ghost Skill!’

[System has detected, to use the Hungry Ghost Skill will require: 1 point (Hungry Ghost Skill)]

[Note: 1 point (Hungry Ghost Skill): 10 minutes]

Exchange!

Xu Mang had ascended to heaven at this point!

“Xu Mang! You have to grasp the time, you only have forty seconds left!”

The host had seen Xu Mang standing at his spot, not displaying any indication that he was going to start eating, and couldn’t help but remind him. To be honest, he wanted to see Xu Mang being taken down too.

“Weak!”

“Coward!”

“Get off the stage!”

The audience off-stage had started to chant like rascals with their insults.

Xu Mang shook his head silently, and couldn’t help the thought that surfaced at that…sigh, young people nowadays!

Let’s start eating!

There were techniques to eating this kind of wings, and with Xu Mang’s many years of experience at eating KFC, first, bite off the soft cartilage part to separate the two small bones. Then, using both hands, hold on to the middle of it, pushing hard at the other end.

The process of separating the bones from the wing was complete, and the entire process took less than three seconds in Xu Mang’s hands.

Chew?

What a waste of time!

Real warriors swallowed directly!

Suddenly, the entire venue fell into pin-drop silence. All eyes were on Xu Mang, shocked. This kind of violence had reached another level of extreme, it made them think of the long lost smoking skill that had not been seen for a long time.

If you inhaled the smoke fast enough, the nicotine would not harm your lungs.

This was almost the same method!

As long as you swallowed fast enough, you wouldn’t feel the heat!

It was fast… extremely fast!

The speed in which his hands moved was the fastest he had ever moved in his entire eighteen years of his single life!

The competition had reached a heated stage. The other contestants had dwindled and been defeated, and finally, only Xu Mang and Zhang Feng were left. However, from the looks of the two of them, Zhang Feng was clearly at a disadvantage.

Although their lips had swollen to the point it looked like thick sausages, Zhang Feng’s face was as red as pig’s liver, but Xu Mang…he still looked so pristine and handsome!

Defeated!

The last year’s champion…had been defeated!

He knelt on the ground on both knees, looking as though the spiciness had already made him lose consciousness to a certain level, but his awareness was still clear.

‘I…Zhang Feng, a natural spicy king, has actually lost to a guy who could barely tolerate eating spicy food!?’

“Since Feng had already been born, why was Mang ever born!?”

Having said that, Zhang Feng lost consciousness.

“Those who stand in the way of virtue shall fail!”

Xu Mang stood on stage, looking at Zhang Feng who had fallen to the ground, coldly saying the line from ‘Dynasty Warriors 5’—the enemy general has been defeated!

[Spicy Man (Campus level)—Complete]

[Obtained: Upgrade Cards*2]

Fortunately, the school seemed to have already anticipated that something would happen sooner or later, and so, an ambulance was already on standby at the school gates for a while now. As the students helped to carry Zhang Feng to the ambulance, a new Spicy King had been born, and it was Xu Mang, the one whom everyone looked down on.

He didn’t leave any winning speech. Only his lonely and arrogant back was left in their impressions.

Under the sad gazes of everyone, he hopped into the ambulance that was carrying Zhang Feng, going to the hospital with him.

Translator’s Note: The line ‘Since Feng had already been born, why was Mang ever born’, Feng refers to Zhang Feng, while Mang refers to Xu Mang.

The line comes from [既生瑜,何生亮] which literally also means ‘Since Yu has already been born, why was Liang ever born?’. Yu refers to Zhou Yu, while Liang refers to Zhuge Liang. Zhou Yu was young and ambitious, but he was always upstaged by Zhuge Liang who was more talented. The line is basically used to lament the fact that there is someone better than you who is outshining you at every turn or, to bemoan a new contender.