I Don’t Want to Win Lying Down - Chapter 57

Chapter 57: Teaching The Business A Lesson!

Free?

Free!?

Free!?!?

Yang Xiaoman stared at Xu Man in disbelief. Did he actually want to try challenging this so-called speed-eating competition? Even the waiter had said that to this day, no one had ever beaten it! Was he crazy!?

“Hey! I told you not to mess around!” Yang Xiaoman exclaimed. “The waiter already said that this eating challenge is seriously difficult and no one has ever succeeded. I think it’s best that you don’t attempt it, otherwise, you might get admitted into the hospital again.”

Listening to Yang Xiaoman’s words of wisdom, Xu Mang could only smile. A man like him had many traits, one of them being that he always swam upstream, so in other words, he was very stubborn. The more someone told him not to do something, the more he felt like rushing into it.

This was one of those situations.

If Yang Xiaoman had tried to persuade him to just pay for their meal like a normal person, Xu Mang might have just glitched out and… agreed! However, she was using such a negative attitude, and this completely fired up Xu Mang’s thirst for competition.

“Hmph! It’s not like I’m someone who likes to boast, but if I completely let myself go, this restaurant might go bankrupt!” Xu Man sniffed in disdain. “Eat whatever you like today since it’ll all be free!”

Yang Xiaoman stared at Xu Mang, simply choosing to not care how this brat would end up. Since he wouldn’t throw in the towel… he could do whatever he wanted.

Out of all the dishes she had ordered, Yang Xiaoman’s favorite was sashimi, especially the fish belly sashimi. The texture of the meat was smooth and juicy, if you squeezed a bit of wasabi on top and dip it in some sashimi soy sauce, the wonderful flavor would go rushing to your head.

Of course, wagyu and tempura were also a few of Yang Xiaoman’s favorite dishes. The way they pan-seared the beef was unique—only the surface was cooked while the rest remained pretty much raw. The waiter claimed that this was the only way to preserve the intense flavor of the beef.

As he listened to such nonsense, Xu Mang’s hands itched to find a stick and bash this waiter’s head in.

Beef!

Raw!?

You’re telling me this was fine dining?

Eating this sort of raw beef, Xu Mang wouldn’t believe it even if he was beaten to death, but…seeing Yang Xiaoman’s intoxicated expression, Xu Mang fell deeper into suspicion. Was this flat-chested ball of violence an altered version of a zombie?

“Huh? Why aren’t you eating?” Yang Xiaoman picked up a piece of sashimi and held it next to Xu Mang’s lips, speaking softly, “Say ah~ I’ll feed you.”

“To hell with your ah! All of this is raw… don’t you know it’s easy for parasites to grow?” Xu Mang said with a serious expression.

“Hey! Can you be any more annoying?” Yang Xiaoman rolled her eyes. She had tried so hard to build up that atmosphere and this idiot had ruined it all with one sentence, not even a bit of romance in him, the clueless lump of trash!

Yang Xiaoman ate the piece of sashimi in one bite and snapped at him. “Didn’t you see me put a bit of wasabi on it? Wasabi can be used to kill germs! If you don’t know anything… don’t just say whatever you want.”

Originally, Xu Mang would have left the argument at that, but what Yang Xiaoman just said sparked a roaring flame inside his soul.

After Baidu-ing ‘wasabi killing germs’, sure enough, an article with details on how wasabi killed germs came up. Xu Mang coughed twice and went on to explain to Yang Xiaoman, “First off, I want to make it clear, the wasabi you’re eating is not real wasabi, but horseradish!”

“Horseradish, also known as Armoracia rusticana… Is much cheaper compared to wasabi.” Xu Mang’s gaze was focused on his phone screen, completely oblivious to Yang Xiaoman’s gradually darkening expression, and he continued muttering to himself. “Wasabi and horseradish can, in fact, kill germs, as horseradish contains isothiocyanate, and wasabi contains allyl isothiocyanate.”

“But… They both need to have a high enough concentration in order for them to be effective. Using the earlier piece of sashimi you ate as an example, you needed to use two tubes of horseradish, then ferment it for twenty-four hours. Only then would it have killed any germs, otherwise, it is completely useless!”

Xu Mang raised his head and laughed. “These things can only stimulate the tongue and can’t suppress the bacteria. Relying on condiments to deal with the paralysis of Vibrio parahaemolyticus and anisakis in marine fish is equivalent to passive suicide. The best way to eat fish is to cook it.”

Yang Xiaoman exploded. Completely and utterly exploded!

She walked next to Xu Mang and pounced on him, sitting on his face with both her hands tearing at his hair as she roared, “You troll, you just have to argue with whatever I say!”

“Say it! Are you trolling?!” Yang Xiaoman asked with a face darker than thunder clouds.

It was over…

This lady was absolutely crazy!

Xu Mang’s vision went black, because this viciously fierce and flat-chested demon was sitting on his face, but honestly… despite its lackluster appearance, its firmness was still halfway decent.

Unfortunately…

His mom had said that girls with wide hips were more likely to have sons, and Xu Mang would bet anything that Yang Xiaoman was going to have a daughter.

Daughters weren’t bad either, little soft bundles of joy.

Huh?

How did I get from the flat-chested weight on my face to having a daughter?

“Ahem! Can you please get up first?” Xu Mang said with some difficulty. “It’s getting a little hard to breathe down here.”

“Ah!” Yang Xiaoman suddenly came to her senses, blushing hard as she quickly removed her butt off of Xu Mang’s face and stood far away, all the while glaring daggers at him. “You d*mn pervert, taking advantage of me like that…”

I… You were the one who pounced on me!

This woman was completely unreasonable, but then again… if she was even a little reasonable, things wouldn’t have turned out like this.

“Don’t make a fuss now… Hurry up and eat, I’ll be getting our food for free in a bit.”

“You’re so annoying!”

***

Thanks to Yang Xiaoman’s efforts, all the food was finally finished. Glancing at Xu Mang, she said, “I’m done…”

“Ok…”

Ding dong!

Xu Mang pressed the call button by the table.

In the blink of an eye, the waiter came, a respectful smile plastered onto his face. “Hello sir, how may I help you?”

“Give me your Plus Ultra Unadon!”

“Right away!”

A moment later, with a feeling of excitement and glee, the waiter ran to the back of the kitchen and told the chef, “There’s a knucklehead that ordered Plus Ultra Unadon, whip it up quickly!”

“Oh? Another brave challenger?” The chef laughed. “Boss, this tactic is really working for us. Using the greedy mentality of consumers who want to take advantage of free stuff, some people would actually pay 4,999 RMB for a bowl of Unadon.”

“Exactly! The cost is a little more than 800 RMB, but put together with the activity, the price has increased multiple times over, and then it is thrown back with a gimmick like free food…” The waiter laughed. “It isn’t a surprise that our boss worked on a dairy farm in the past, with the way he can milk people dry of all that money… what a role model.”

Indeed, ever since this supposed eating competition had been introduced along with all sorts of marketing advertising, this simple bowl of eel rice that was priced at 4,999 RMB had become a viral sensation all over the internet, creating a huge food trend and raking in piles and piles of money.

The first thing people realized when they saw this bowl of Unadon wasn’t the price. Instead, it was the word ‘free’. As long as that word was placed next to astronomically expensive prices, there would always be countless people who were willing to try with the mindset of “what if they became the lucky ones who succeeded”?

This whole thing was a gamble, however, all the participants were inevitably going to lose, and the real winners would always be the event organizers.

Hehe, it was like the stock market!

After a while, the waiter pushed a cart over with the bowl of Unadon atop it. They called it a bowl, but really, it looked more like a bucket. There were three kabayaki eels with white rice underneath and a handful of white sesame seeds sprinkled all over it.

“Wait a minute! How much does a bowl cost?” Xu Mang asked curiously.

“4,999 RMB!”

“Holy crap!”

Three eels plus a bucket of white rice and they dared to sell it at 4,999 RMB, who gave them the guts?

“Aren’t you guys being a bit too much?” Xu Mang said disapprovingly. “Our country is trying to crack down on arbitrary pricing, and your shop is doing the exact opposite. Is it because you think that the consumer rights protection law is just for display?”

“Sir! Please don’t say such nonsense! All the ingredients we use are of the highest quality, this type of pricing… is completely needed!” The waiter, with a face full of self-righteousness, replied. “If you choose to continue spreading such uninformed claims, then… we will have no choice but to take action with our lawyer!”

Not only did Xu Mang feel frustrated, even Yang Xiaoman felt her anger flare up to a boiling point. They were being far too arrogant!

At this moment, a seed of vengeance planted itself in Xu Mang’s heart, he made up his mind to teach capitalism a lesson!

As for when…

Let it be tomorrow!

In that case, he wouldn’t be eating today…

“Um, actually… How about lending me 2,000 RMB?” Xu Mang nudged Yang Xiaoman. “I don’t have enough money.”

“Here.”

Later, Xu Mang ended the meal with strong feelings of outrage, and hearing the waiter say ‘Come again next time’ was like having a knife thrust deep into his soul. However, there was no helping it, because showing weakness was the only way for your enemy to let their guard down.

“Are you free tomorrow?”

“Sure!” Yang Xiaoman nodded. “What’s up?”

“Let’s have Japanese food.”

“You still want to eat there?” Yang Xiaoman asked in surprise.

Xu Mang grinned, and his expression turned smug. “I plan to invite our teacher and classmates there for lunch tomorrow as well!”