I Don’t Want to Win Lying Down - Chapter 60

Chapter 60: You’re So Bad, I Like It!

Xu Mang sprung into action!

However, once he stuck his chopsticks into the rice, a shocked expression crossed his face. What cheaters… the boss was trying to make him lose! They had compressed the rice in the bowl, there was at least fifty percent more rice this time compared to yesterday!

However, my apologies.

You’re facing off against me today!

Eel was a must-eat summer food in Japan. It not only helped with digestion, but it also acted as a great appetizer as well. Added on with how few resources Japan had and the difficulty of catching wild eel, Unadon had become one of the pricier foods in Japanese cuisine.

But honestly, the unagi Xu Mang was eating was pretty bad—the meat was too mushy, and the signature charred flavor was missing. A properly cooked eel had firm yet smooth meat, its skin would be crisp yet its insides would be soft, and the smokey flavor would fill your mouth as soon as it touched your tongue.

D*mn it!

Such low-grade food!

Xu Mang glared at the cheerful boss, the disdain he had for him was already off the charts. An unagi of this quality was worth at most two hundred apiece, these three pieces would only be a total of six hundred, and yet, he had the gall to sell it for 4,999 RMB?

Dark!

This was the true dark side of society!

Xu Mang acknowledged that businesses had to have a few tricks up their sleeves to make it big, but selling low-grade food and claiming it was of the highest quality? Now that was just a moral issue.

And today, Xu Mang would make him pay for his crimes!

Xu Mang went mad.

The way he ate shocked everyone present. Normal people would chew many times before finally swallowing, fierce people might chew only a couple of times before swallowing, savages wouldn’t chew more than thrice, but Xu Mang swallowed his food whole!

With the system’s help, Xu Mang’s mouth and esophagus continuously squeezed and crushed the food, sending the rice smoothly into his empty stomach.

Speed!

What he needed was speed!

All his classmates could see was Xu Mang’s hand and chopsticks flying between the bowl and his mouth, some of them even thought that they were seeing double.

As time trickled by, the rice in the bucket slowly started to decrease, unlike the boss’ blood pressure, which was skyrocketing to new heights, his breath quickening, and his mind turning into a foggy daze. He didn’t know how much longer he could last.

This… This was it!

They were done for!

The hunter had become the hunted, and the hunted, the hunter!

They had fallen for a trap!!!

The boss had spent much of his youth crawling through society, and he knew every trick in the book. His own workers had told him that the guy had come yesterday… and he had ordered the Unadon, but he didn’t eat it!

Thinking back, that should have been the first red flag. It just wasn’t normal! Other challengers who came to face the Plus Ultra Unadon would usually at least give it a fair try, even taking it home for supper if they failed.

However, he was different! He hadn’t even touched his chopsticks!

Why?

To make others think he was a fool and to make them drop their guard!

There was no other choice… he would have to bullsh*t his way through this!

Afterward, with a massive crowd acting as his spectators, Xu Mang succeeded. Every grain of rice, each of the three measly pieces of eel meat, and all the little sesame seeds, completely gone. He had taken a total of eight minutes and forty-seven seconds.

The war was over.

Peace had been restored!

The teachers and students of Senior 3 Class 1 released a deafening cheer, a singular phrase floating in all of their minds—Xu Mang rocked!

“Come, my servants! Come and praise your king!” Xu Mang rose from his seat, the arrogance almost wafting out of him.

But no one rejected his orders, because, at that moment, he was a true hero! He had just saved the entire world.

“Boss? My apologies… but it looks like this meal will be on the house!” Xu Mang cackled at the boss. “This must be a pretty big loss on your part? Maybe eight hundred thousand, give or take? You probably want to die right about now, don’t you?”

You…

I…

D*mn it!

The boss’ heart (and pockets) were bleeding after hearing what Xu Mang had done. Over eight hundred thousand, almost a whole million! If they lost all this money, their supply chain would basically be gone.

The scariest thing for businessmen was their supply chain breaking, and once there was a problem there, it meant that they weren’t far from closing down.

A bank loan?

Sorry… self-administrated small businesses like his would never be eligible.

What about private loans?

No, that was an even deeper hole to jump down, they would be stuck in debt forever!

“No! This one doesn’t count!” The boss roared, using all his force to shout at Class 1. “There was a technical error made by our staff, there wasn’t enough rice in the bowl. Anyway, that didn’t count!”

“Hey! That’s way too far of a stretch!”

“That’s right… your posters all say that anyone that finishes the Unagidon in under ten minutes gets a free meal, but suddenly now it doesn’t count, this is bullying!”

“Dirty businessman!”

Faced by the students’ anger, the boss decided he had nothing else to lose, straight-up burning the flyer and getting his waiters to tear down anything advertising the eating competition.

“This event never existed!” The boss deadpanned. “The event is canceled!”

Watching the completely untalented performance the boss was putting on, Xu Mang could only give a shallow laugh. He had already anticipated something like this happening, so he had made sure to prepare video evidence, even going as far as to bring along the most famous lawyer in the city.

I, Xu Mang, shall forever remain invincible!

“Lawyer Gao! Time for you to take the stage!” Xu Mang said.

“On it! I am Wanning city’s ‘Justice’ law firm’s Gao Qingyang, your actions earlier have broken the laws stipulated in the country’s…” Lawyer Gao proceeded to use a bunch of lawyer jargon, his face wearing the serious expression of someone who knows they had won. “I now represent Mr. Xu Mang in suing you, you will receive an official document saying so tomorrow. I shall meet you in court!”

Holy crap!

What was this…

He had brought a lawyer to lunch?

That was too much!

The boss was on the ground at this point, but this wasn’t the straw that broke the boss’ back.

Next, Xu Mang took out his phone and showed the boss the video. On the screen was the scene of the cashier keying in their order, plus a few lines of dialogue.

“Hey, this eating competition thing, as long as I finish the Plus Ultra Unadon in ten minutes, everything will be free, right?”

“Of course, and the event will last forever!”

“Okay!”

Xu Mang and the boss’s voice filled the otherwise silent restaurant, and anyone with a few brain cells could tell that the boss was just trying to squirm his way out of the situation.

Yang Xiaoman pressed the attack as well, pulling up the video of Xu Mang eating the unadon from start to finish on her phone, even including the boss announcing the official time he took.

Everything had been prepared by Xu Mang.

It all culminated into this one fatal blow!

And finally, they all left without paying a dime…

Seeing this massive group of people waltz out of his shop, the boss’s eyes rolled back into his skull, his body going limp on the tiled floor.

***

This war had single-handedly made a name for Xu Mang in Senior 3 Class 1. He wasn’t as simple-minded as everyone had made him out to be, his thoughts were intricate and cunning, he could sacrifice anything to achieve his goal, he would make the perfect leader in a rebellion.

Of course, they were appreciative, but they were also thousand times more relieved… Thank heavens Xu Mang was one of their classmates, otherwise, with his performance today, they might not even see their own deaths coming.

Yet, why had no one known about his abilities before?

It had all happened overnight…

Did something happen?

Everyone present was extremely curious, but none of them got a satisfying answer.

Bidding farewell to his classmates and teachers, Xu Mang and Yang Xiaoman bumped into each other in a small hallway.

“Hey!”

“Huh?”

“You’re so bad! But I like it!”

Xu Mang froze up just as he was about to respond, his stomach feeling like it was being sliced open by a thousand knives.

Unfortunately, Yang Xiaoman misunderstood what was going on.

“What… what’s the meaning of this?!” Yang Xiaoman stamped her foot. “I just told you that a beautiful young maiden like myself likes you, and this is how you act in return?”

“Th…that’s not it!”

“H…Hurry up… and bring me to the hospital! I’ve eaten too much!”