I Want to Hear Your Voice - Chapter 7

On Sousuke’s day off, Satori went out together with Sousuke to a large ‘shopping mall’ in front of the train station. It seemed like Satori needed a ‘change of clothes’ no matter what.

Satori tugged the hem of the T-shirt he borrowed from Sousuke with his fingers. Sousuke’s clothes were a size larger than his. As he fixed the collar that was almost slipping down from his shoulders, Satori thought inwardly that he actually didn’t mind wearing it. These ill-fitting clothes made him feel Sousuke’s presence, so he was happy with it. However, it was said that it was ‘improper’ to wear clothes that didn’t fit your body size. With his fingers, Satori gently touched the pendant around his neck. The amethyst pendant was Satori’s precious treasure.

It was packed with people in front of the train station, perhaps because it was Sunday. There were youths who were waiting for their friends, families who brought small children, and couples on dates.

There were so many people in the city that it made Satori wonder where they all came from. The city was swirling with the thoughts of so many people.

(Argh, why do I have to spend time with my family on my day off, what a hassle… Why do we have to go out anyway…? Why don’t we just stay at home and rest…? Aah, I actually wanted to watch golf at noon…)

(I’m so nervous about our first date today! Ah, what do I do? What do I do? Maybe I should go to the restroom again. What if my makeup comes off…?)

(There’re so many people. Where did they all come from anyway? Well, I guess I’m the same. I wonder if it’s too crowded for lunch? I guess I’ll buy something then eat it at home…)

Even if Satori tried not to listen to the thoughts of humans around him, their inner voices still reached his ears regardless.

(Aah… So hot… Isn’t the temperature kind of weird lately? Sometimes it even rains out of nowhere, what’s with that? There are so many hurricanes too, so why is it so hot today? Is this what they call global warming? Aah, I wish autumn would come sooner…)

(I’ve invited Maki to karaoke, but she’s so annoying because she can’t read the room. She’s way too serious. Ah, it’s such a hassle to do it now… Why do I have to look at her face even on my day off? Maybe I should just ditch the plan…)

A cold sweat trickled down on Satori’s forehead, and he cast his eyes downwards.

It was as if the stale air had turned into a big balloon that was about to burst. It swallowed up various emotions and malice of many people, and the balloon got bigger and bigger. What would happen if it reached its limit?

Satori gulped down his saliva several times; he tried desperately to suppress the nausea that was building up. It was then that he felt dizzy.

“…Sato.”

It was as if the air in front of him had cracked open all of a sudden. There was no way he could see such a thing, but at that moment he felt as if the particles of the clear air were glittering and enveloping them.

(…What’s wrong with him?)

“Sato? What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

“Sousuke…”

The moment Sousuke’s face came into view, Satori’s breathing suddenly became lighter. His body became relaxed and he almost collapsed on the spot, but Sousuke quickly supported him.

(Must find a place to sit for now… but where…?)

“Come here.”

Sousuke glanced around his surroundings, observing the situation. While supporting Satori’s body from behind, Sousuke took him away from the crowd of people.

“Come, sit here.”

Satori sat down on a bench in a small park that didn’t have any playground equipment. It was located on the opposite side of the shopping mall.

“Wait here for a sec,” Sousuke said to Satori. Then, he disappeared somewhere, coming back almost immediately. In his hand, he was holding the ‘tasty colored water’ that Satori liked.

“Here, can you drink it?”

As he was offered the bottle with the cap already opened, Satori then drank the water. The cold water that had a bit of sweetness trickled down his dry throat and spread throughout his body.

At that moment, a sound of sigh could be heard.

(His face was as white as a sheet…)

“I really panicked back there…”

Sousuke sat down next to Satori, then got up again as if he had just thought of something. He went to the vending machine at the entrance of the park, bought a small can, and came back. He sat down on the bench again, then opened the can and drank it in one go.

“…Hey, do you feel sick somewhere?”

(He also didn’t look well back when we first met.)

“You sure you don’t need to go to the hospital…?”

Satori shook his head.

It wasn’t an illness that was making Satori feel sick. But Satori couldn’t explain the real reason to Sousuke.

In response to Satori’s answer, Sousuke just remained silent, as if he was thinking about something. Sousuke’s feelings that Satori felt were a faint irritation and worry because he didn’t answer clearly, and… most of all, a feeling of concern for his health.

(Maybe he was feeling ill somewhere in his body. Even if Sato doesn’t like it, should I take him to the doctor to get him a proper checkup…?)

A warm feeling spread on Satori’s chest. Then, there was a feeling of sadness deep in his heart, and he felt like crying for some reason.

That’s why Satori told the truth to Sousuke, even if it was just part of the truth.

“I guess I’m just not good with crowds of people. That’s all; there’s nothing wrong with me. I don’t feel sick, I’m okay.”

“You’re not good with crowds…?”

(Is that really all …?)

When Satori nodded his head, Sousuke’s body became relaxed as if he was relieved.

“I see…”

Sousuke leaned back on the bench and glanced sideways at Satori. He narrowed his eyes gently.

Satori’s heart skipped a beat.

Huh…?

Satori placed his hand on his chest and felt puzzled. He blinked several times.

It feels like there’s something wrong with my stomach…?

Perhaps it was just his imagination, but his cheeks also felt a little hot.

“…Then, what do we do? I guess we better go home.”

“Huh?”

Satori panicked as Sousuke got up to throw away his empty can.

“So-sousuke, what about shopping? We’re still going shopping right?”

“What?”

(No, no, no. we’re not going.)

“Huh!? We’re not!?”

Sousuke got confused for a moment; he thought that the flow of conversation was weird. But Satori paid no mind to it and kept going.

“No, no, no.”

(No way.)

“Huhh…!?”

The two of them stared at each other for a moment, both with a doubtful expression on their face.

“But, you see, there’s no way we can shop if you’re bad with crowds.”

What about my shopping with Sousuke…?

Satori slumped his shoulder in disappointment. Because he was not good with crowds, he couldn’t go shopping together with Sousuke.

“Huhhh…?!”

(So it’s my fault now…)

(You don’t have to be so down about it….)

Satori could feel Sousuke feeling perplexed, then he gasped in realization. He shouldn’t act like this or he might trouble Sousuke again.

“I-it’s okay! I don’t feel down at all! Even if I don’t get to go shopping with you, there’s no problem!”

Satori had responded boldly to make Sousuke not worry about him, but Sousuke instead crossed his arms and went thinking about something. Satori was puzzled.

“So-sousuke, I really…”

“…You’re okay if there aren’t that many people, right?”

Sousuke who finally raised his face sparkled his eyes just like a kid who was plotting mischief.