I Won’t Pick Up The Trash I Threw Away Again - Chapter 103

What did… I just hear?

Give birth to your child?

As I stared blankly at him, doubting my ears, Philen grabbed my chin and brought his face closer.

“Give birth to my child, Leila.”

It was such a close distance that I could feel his breath.

“Then I’ll bury this matter.”

His lips were getting closer and closer and just before they almost touched…

“…!”

Philen stepped away from me as if he had noticed something. 

At the same time, someone grabbed my arm from behind and pulled me.

When I turned around in surprise, I saw a sharp jawline and swaying silver hair.

“Sir Hiltine…?”

Sir Hiltine hid me behind his back and stared at Philen. 

The silver blade of the sword he held in his other hand gleamed menacingly.

Philen and Sir Hiltine just looked at each other motionlessly. There was no sword fighting, no physical fighting, but it was scary.

As the chill wrapped around my body, I wrapped my arms around myself. 

Philen, who had been staring at Sir Hiltine, suddenly looked at me. 

“Leila.”

I flinched and took a step back. 

Sir Hiltine stood in front of me as if to protect me. Because of that, I couldn’t see Philen. I could only see the lower ends of his clothes shaking slightly.

“You surely need time to think, so I’ll give you time.”

Philen, on the other hand, kept talking to me as if he could see me. 

“Four days will do, right?” 

Step, step-

Footsteps were heard. Philen came this way.

When I saw him again, I was nervous and wary of him.

It was the same with Sir Hiltine. His hand holding the sword tightened.

Without giving a single glance to Sir Hiltine, Philen, who stopped in front of us, looked at me and said.

“Think carefully and come back after organizing everything, unless you want to lose everything you’ve built so far.”

Philen left the house with those last words. Only the footprints he left behind were clearly marked on the dry floor.

Sir Hiltine kept his eyes on the door even after Philen left.

How long has it been? 

As if he was finally relieved, he let out a long sigh. He put the sword he was holding into its sheath and looked back at me.

“Did His Majesty send you?”

Sir Hiltine nodded. 

Well, there’s no way he would be here otherwise.

“How did you know I was here?”

“…His Majesty informed me.”

“Really?”

I never told him I was going home though, how did he know I was here?

I was wondering, but I didn’t think about it deeply. Because what was important right now was not that, but thanks to him, I was able to get out of the crisis.

If Sir Hiltine had not arrived on time, I would have kissed Philen unwantedly. 

It was fortunate that it ended there.

It gave me goosebumps all over my body to think that I might have undergone something even worse.

On top of that, there was also Misa’s matter, so I was really out of my mind.

I wished everything I heard was a dream, but unfortunately, it was all real.

“Are you okay?” 

Ah, I guess my expression has gotten worse again.

“I’m okay.”

I tried to fix my expression, but there was no way to check whether I did it properly. Because I can’t see my face. 

I was worried about what would happen if I made a strange expression, so I hurriedly turned my head.

“I will go up and get my stuff. Let’s go back to the palace together.”

Without hearing his answer, I went upstairs as if running away. But when I was still halfway up the stairs… 

“Ah…”

Suddenly, my head started spinning, and in front of my eyes became white.

As the strength in my legs disappeared, I lost my balance.

I tried to hold the railing to keep my balance, but I couldn’t because there was no strength in my hands too.

Eventually, I stumbled and fell down the stairs.

Soon the endless darkness came.

*****

When the darkened world regained its light, I was lying in a soft bed.

The ceiling painted with colorful patterns that were seen through the faint candlelights was familiar.

Here… is the palace. 

To be precise, it was my room in the Imperial Palace. The room where I stayed until the new mansion was decided.

It seemed Sir Hiltine brought me here after I lost consciousness.

I had shown my weak side, huh? 

I tried not to, but it was all in vain.

I let out a long sigh and covered my eyes with the back of my hand.

The words that Philen poured out spread like a haze in my head.  

“…Misa.”

I recited the name of the heartless person who had crossed the river.

“Misa, Misa…”

It was also the name of someone who couldn’t answer me again.

It had been more than 10 years, but I still remembered the day I first met Misa.

It was the first day I came to the Duke of Williot while holding the duchess’s hand.

“My name is Misa, My Lady.”

Her hair was neatly tied up with no baby hair. Her easily wrinkled blouse had no wrinkles, and so was her skirt.

The look on her face was cold. And she didn’t even show the slightest bit of a smile. 

From the outside, she seemed more strict than the maid in the Count of Thebesa.

I was 14 years old at the time and was very nervous while introducing myself.

“My, my name is Leila Thebesa. It’s nice meeting you.”

I already introduced myself, but there was no reply.  

She just stared at me without saying a word.

Why is she looking at me like that? Did I make a mistake? What if I really make a mistake?

Countess Thebesa had threatened me not to make any mistakes.

‘Be sure to become the Duchess of Williot. So that you could repay me for raising you.’

She threatened to never let me go if I failed.

I can’t believe I already made a mistake. 

I was afraid that I would be kicked out like this.

I moistened my dry lips with my tongue and gripped my skirt with my hands.

Misa, who was still staring at me silently, approached. She then gently grabbed my hand, which was holding the skirt, and smiled gently.

“What a lovely girl. I hope we get along well in the future.”

Ah. I didn’t make a mistake, huh? 

Only then did I smile in relief. 

Contrary to her first impression, Misa was a warm and affectionate person.

She had a strict personality, but that was only when she was working. She was so kind to me. She took good care of me, pitying me for leaving home at a young age and living here. 

At that time, Duchess Williot gave me a private maid, but Misa spent more time looking after me than the maid in charge.

From Misa, I learned the mindset and basic skills that a noble lady should have. Duchess Williot also taught me, but I learned more from Misa in this area.

Was that all? The day I first became a woman, it was also Misa that comforted me, who was bewildered by the blood on the blanket, and told me what to do.     

She also gave me sex education. Along with the advice that I must do this with the person I love.

It was also Misa who thought together with me about what to give Philen on his first birthday.

After the duke couple died in a carriage accident, it was also Misa who took care of me, who was in despair. It was Misa who took care of my trauma, and it was also she who gave me strong support after Philen left the mansion for war.

If Duchess Williot was the perfect lady I wanted to resemble, Misa was the person I wanted to resemble if I became a mother.

That’s how much I trusted and followed her like a real mother.  

That’s why when I left the mansion, parting ways with Misa was the most difficult thing to bear. 

I wanted to ask Misa to leave with me, but I couldn’t because she was the chief maid of the mansion. I could only swallow my regrets.

Still, I thought I could see her again someday. As I waited for that day, I tried to write her a letter with a happy heart, but… Misa was dead. 

I couldn’t believe she committed suicide after doing such a reckless and absurd thing for me.

That’s not for me, Misa.

If it was really for me, you should have been alive. And on the day we met again, you should have hugged me tightly with your gentle hands.

Not being able to see her again came to me as a great sadness beyond words. 

“Hu, huggh…”  

This sudden downpour made me unable to sleep and made my heart break. It overflowed and wet my cheeks.

*****

Kalian said he wanted to have dinner together, but he suddenly canceled it.

He didn’t think it was canceled because something went wrong with Kalian. Then there was only one person left.

Leila. 

Having a gut feeling that something had happened to her, Ver quickly finished his work and went to the Demos Palace.

Located in the middle between the outer and inner palaces, Demos Palace was a palace for guests staying in the Imperial Palace.

It was when he quickly climbed the stairs and turned the corner of the long hallway.

“Oh?” 

A familiar silhouette was seen from a distance. Ver recognized at a glance that he was Kalian.

Ver walked quickly, then slowly slowed down and stopped close to him.

Kalian, who normally would have noticed Ver was coming when he got close, stood still as if he didn’t notice at all.

His seriously hardened face was full of worry.

Was that all? Kalian was holding a tray with one hand, which didn’t fit him. What was on the tray was a watery soup with no ingredients at all.

There was only one reason why he was standing in front of Leila’s door with soup that patients usually eat. 

“Baron Aster is sick, isn’t she?” 

“…”  

Only then did Kalian look at him as if he just noticed that Ver was there.

Kalian stared at Ver, looked at the soup he was holding, then looked at Leila’s room.

There was concern in every look. Ver, who was also worried, asked in a serious tone.

“Is Baron Aster in a very bad condition?”

When I saw her in the audience room this morning, she looked okay though. 

“…”

Whatever it might be, he wished Kalian could say something, but he was still silent.

Feeling frustrated, Ver grabbed the doorknob to check her himself, but Kalian quickly grabbed his arm.