If I Can’t Save You, I’d Rather Die

Chapter 2

“Hey, Vlandea.”

“….!”

As I choked back a scream and fell backward, Enrico pulled my hand with a puzzled face while I stood up with a loud noise.

“What is it? Why are you this surprised?”

Why is he here? Did he stay up all night studying…?

Enrico took my hand without knowing my confusion.

“Are you going to the rear garden? Do you know how late it is now? A baby like you shouldn’t go out at night.”

Saying that, he tried to bring me back to my room, but I held my position with all my strength.

“Why? If you really want to go there, just go there during the day. The night breeze is really cold for a child like you.”

Of course, the warmth during the day would be good for this frail body. Still, I had to make sure to stay out of the doctor’s sight by sneaking out at night to go to the rear garden. The reason was because I had to get the remedy to cure this body at the rear garden.

Regardless, since Enrico was too strong, I ended up being dragged away.

“Hey? Are you crying? Why are you crying…?!”

As soon as I burst into tears, Enrico was taken aback and let go of my hand with a flustered face.

“Crap…”

Scratching his head, he seemed to think hard about what to do with the little girl before eventually stooping down and parting his lips again.

“…It’s a secret from mother and father. I’m going to get in trouble for this.”

I was soon piggybacked by Enrico with a face full of tears.

“We’ll go there for a while, then get back. It’s a secret between the two of us.”

It was only when I nodded my head on his back that he turned the doorknob while carrying me on his back. Perhaps because I was born as Vlandea, the cold night wind that hit me for the first time felt like a blistering slap.

Being carried on Enrico’s back, I reached my hand and pointed to the back part of the rear garden.

“There?”

He walked and carried me diligently. Because the wind was so strong, I coughed and covered my mouth, but soon after…

“Hey, Vlandea!”

A scream-like voice rang in my ear.

“You…you’re throwing up blood…! Didn’t you feel hurt? Or is it because of your non-existent sense? Is that why you don’t even know you’re in pain? You can’t talk, and you can’t even feel pain, that’s why mother and father cry every time they see you!”

But you’re also whining hard, too…

When I thought about that, I also thought that I didn’t know what I should do right now.

I couldn’t speak any words. It appeared that today was the day I would die, given the amount of blood I vomited.

“Let’s go to father… let’s get back to mother and father… Quickly, Vlandea is sick…”

Enrico, who was not even six years old, was panicking. He muttered words with a ghostly pale face and turned right around.

‘No—!’

Just go on your own, you brat!

I gripped and pulled his hair with both of my hands.

“Aack!”

It would be great if he let me go, but his small hands that carried me on his back were full of strength. I only managed to arrive at the rear garden by pulling and controlling Enrico’s hair.

“Hey! You’re throwing up blood endlessly! You really…!”

Unfortunately, Enrico couldn’t leave me behind and he couldn’t even do anything because I kept pulling his hair.

A swarm of butterflies appeared to be lounging in the garden under the elegant lighting… there was such a line in the original novel, all because of competent gardener kept the flowers in the garden from falling all year round.

As a consequence, these flowers were blooming throughout the rear garden.

‘I found it…’

My tears welled up the moment I saw those flowers.

Alice flower… a flower that bloomed all year round, a rare one with yellow petals and blue tassel.

Usually, those flowers were raised for enjoyment purposes. This kingdom’s people didn’t eat these flowers’ stems and roots unless they were starving, especially children, since it could give stomach ache as the flowers contained a mild amount of toxicity.

However, it was different in The End of A Mad Beauty

Because in the Lefebvre family, after the death of their young daughter, the flower was regarded as the most crucial ingredient for the cure of the disease.

And so, after Vlandea’s death, it was written in the original novel that the rear garden of the Lefebvre family’s estate was filled only with this flower.

It was a tragedy that my family didn’t recognize this flower blooming in the garden when I could have nibbled and eaten this flower. There was also a scene where Enrico buried his face with both hands.

That was why…

‘I’m going to live. I’m going to eat this and live…!’

Sitting down in the garden, I ripped off a bunch of the flowers and put them in my mouth, but I was stopped immediately.

With a flustered look, Enrico grabbed my hands.

“Hey…! No! You can’t eat that!”

‘I know!’

“I said no! Are you hungry? Let’s go to the kitchen! It’s on the first floor! I’ll ask them for porridge! Let’s eat some porridge!”

‘Ah, please, come on!’

No matter what he said, when I wouldn’t let go of the flower, Enrico seemed quite flustered by it. At a loss of what to do, he took the flowers from me before starting to step on the Alice flowers blooming on the ground.

My eyes turned round.

‘Hey—!’

As I hit his stomach with my head, he fell back.

It almost looked like a brawl on top of a flower bed, but he had no choice but got overpowered by me. While I couldn’t feel pain anymore so it didn’t hurt even if I got hit, that wasn’t the case with him.

At the same time, I vomited blood every time I coughed. Enrico’s face was getting more and more depressed, and he eventually burst into tears.

“Why are you like this?! If you eat this, you’ll die! They said you’ll die if you eat anything!”

Even if he was mature for his age, he was still a five to six year old kid, so he fell into panic and cried while trembling. Still, even though I wanted to soothe him… Enrico trampled on all the flowers, so I was busily crawling to another bunch of flowers.

‘I’m doomed.’

My vision started spinning. At that time, I had a feeling that I was going to die here right now. It was obvious that today was Vlandea’s memorial day. So…

Thud.

Losing all of my strength, I hurriedly stumbled in front of a new bunch of Alice flowers and stretched out my arm, tearing a handful of the flowers. I put it into my mouth and swallowed it without chewing.

I thought it would taste like grass, but maybe because my body couldn’t feel anything, I didn’t feel any taste.

“Vlan! Vlandea…!”

I heard Enrico running and shouting while crying.

Regardless, I just shoved Alice flowers I could grab hold of into my mouth hastily, swallowed it, then fainted without seeing Enrico’s face, who was busy shaking my shoulder.

“Young lady?”

When I turned my head at the call, the maid held out a letter while smiling softly.

“The Young Master has sent you a letter.”

It was from Enrico.

As I received and then opened and read the contents, a young voice came out slowly.

“I’ll… reply to it immediately.”

“The Young Master will be delighted.”

That was because he would keep sending letters until I replied…

I headed to my room with the letter.

It had been years since the day that I hit Enrico with my head and ate Alice flowers. Originally, I should have cleaned the flower and eaten it, but I didn’t and just pushed those flowers into my mouth, and that was why my body was in a real mess.

I vomited blood until the only color I could see was red, as my body was trembling, and I couldn’t move my body.

However, I was certainly alive right now. In addition, the doctors knew that my life was no longer on decline but formed a gentle curve.
[ T/N: Basically saying her lifeline or heartbeat is not on a flatline anymore but forming a curve pattern instead. ]

‘Alice flowers…’

A question arose naturally about why I suddenly went to the rear garden and ate the flower. Of course, it was asked to Enrico since I wasn’t in any position to answer.

Even though I survived, I was asleep for almost a month. And even after that, my hypersomnia was so severe that it took years for me to fully heal.

In any case, Alice flower had a great effect on my terminal illness, and the experiment resumed immediately afterward. And when I finally asked why on earth would I eat Alice flowers at that time, I pulled out the excuse I had been preparing.

“Someone… told me… to eat it…in my dream…”

Mother burst into tears the moment she heard it and hugged me. She couldn’t stop crying while talking about my late maternal grandmother, and eventually, Enrico, as well as father, cried too.

Although the mansion was badly turned upside down, thanks to the fuss I made, the cure was completed much faster than the original. Because of that, I am seven years old now. And about four days ago, almost all of the diseases I suffered were treated.

It was still a rare disease, but look where I am now.

Sitting at my desk and writing a reply, I was lost in thought while looking at the quill pen.

‘…After this, how do I live?’

I avoided death on my third birthday, but that was not all.

Let’s see if the world that killed my favorite character will do well.

In the comment section of the original novel, not only me but other fans also left comments full of curses. Of course, there was a reason why fans were upset since other characters kept dying and dying.

Would this character live?

…She died.

How about this character?

…He died, too.

This crazy, spicy, and exhausting novel…

It wasn’t different for the popular side character. The last time I read it, I recalled that Enrico was dead. I can still remember his fans going crazy that day.

The reason why Enrico died was also sad.

It was because he forced himself to go to Lefebvre’s mansion that was full of monsters, and eventually died. There was only one reason why he jumped into the mansion with his life on the line… to retrieve the remains of his deceased sister from the grave in the mansion’s rear garden.

‘This…’

For now, I was alive, so there was no reason for Enrico to jump into the mansion to retrieve my remains though the problem now was the monsters that would appear and destroy everything.

The Lefebvre estate was located in the eastern part of the country and one of the biggest, even for the whole nobility. It was located on the most valuable land thanks to the achievement of the ancestors, and such territory was devoured by monsters.

…So, it was impossible to say how exhausting the novel got as it went into the middle and final arc.

If Lefebvre’s estate had been destroyed, then the nation would have been in partial destruction.