I’m a Villainess, Can I Die?

Chapter 81

As time passed, the number of people in the crowd seemed to increase.

It was complicated enough before, but now I wondered if I was in a labyrinth with walls built almost entirely up with people.

We bravely made our way through the crowd and walked toward the tea house across the street.

Although it was a street that we would normally cross quickly, we were blocked by the crowd and constantly stopped.

As we stopped for the third time, young children who had run up from somewhere ran across us.

Small children swam like mice through the crowds.

Aiden and I took steps away from the children.

As we retreated to opposite sides of each other, the result was a gap of two steps between us.

Even though it was only two steps apart, people began to pass by as if it was a passageway.

And so, we lost each other in an instant.

“Uh…”

I made a dazed noise and stood there staring at the place where Aiden was, only to see the waves of the crowd rolling over. I couldn’t even see the shadow of the person I was looking for.

“Aiden…?”

I muttered the invisible Aiden’s name. It was a small sound that could only be heard in a whisper.

I felt sick to my stomach at the sight of the crowd. My fingertips started to tingle, so I squeezed and opened my hands a few times.

Even during that time, Aiden was nowhere to be found.

“Aiden.”

I felt like a lost child, looking for my parents.

I didn’t know what to do, and there was nothing I could do, so I just stood still and called his name.

When I came to think of it, most of the memories that occupied my childhood were actually like this.

With me, left alone, and people turning their backs on me.

I remembered the image of a child who desperately called for the backs of those who were moving away, but soon gave up.

The image of Aiden walking away from me and the images of those leaving me in the past overlapped and replayed in my head.

Then, in the scene where he disappeared, the scene of the children running away was played over and over again.

Again, again and again.

They said the festival would be a pleasant memory, but how did it become so far from that?

My hardened fingertips were cold.

“Aiden…”

When I muttered his name for the third time, someone’s warmth touched my hand. Startled by the sudden unfamiliar temperature, I turned around.

“Miss.”

Light green eyes turned to me and a familiar voice called for me.

Aiden looked at me with a worried, twisted face. I quietly looked at Aiden and lowered my head and my hand, almost in slow motion.

We slowly made our way through the crowd with Aiden holding my hand. Thanks to him holding my hand and clearing the way, I was able to easily move to a quiet place.

“Where have you been?”

Those were the words that came out of my mouth as soon as we got there. Aiden was still looking at me worriedly.

“The children passed by and I was swept away by the crowd. But I went straight to the Miss and called for her…”

Perhaps he did, but it seemed that I didn’t hear it.

I was just staring at the place where Aiden was standing before, dazed.

I wondered why I was so engrossed in that situation.

Aiden stared blankly at me, then got startled when he lowered his gaze to his hand connected with mine.

Apparently, I was standing blankly too, as I seemed to have forgotten that he was holding my hand as we walked through the crowds. Aiden hurriedly relaxed his hand and let go of mine.

Yes, Aiden did. I didn’t, though. As his hand loosened, I grabbed it again.

“Don’t go.”

‘Don’t go, don’t leave me. Don’t leave me alone.’ Actually, I was a little lonely. I was a little afraid. I thought it would be nice if you were by my side. I didn’t want to be abandoned. I didn’t want to be separated.

I wanted to be loved.

Perhaps being left alone in a crowd of people was more shocking than I thought, and strange voices filled my head.

Words that either could have been directed at Aiden or shouted at towards myself when I was a child… Echoes from unknown places made me cry in my head.

As I stared at his face with my mouth agape, Aiden, who was looking at me surprisedly, quickly gathered his expression and put on a smile.

“It’s okay, Miss.”

In a whisper.

Aiden’s voice was a small whisper. Only those close to me could hear it. However, the small whisper was so loud that it overshadowed all the noisy words floating around in my head.

My mind went silent in an instant. My throbbing stomach felt relieved, and blood circulated in my numb fingertips.

“We’re here.”

‘…Oh, is this magic?’

I felt like I had thought that for a moment while looking at the green eyes.

***

As we sat on the old chairs that were lying around, our hands fell apart of their own accord.

I glanced at the distant hand and tapped the bench with the fingers that Aiden was holding. The palms that had cooled in an instant were unfamiliar.

We moved to a relatively cornered place to avoid the crowds.

I definitely felt like I could finally breathe after coming to a place where there were few people.

Those strange echoes from earlier must have been created because I couldn’t adapt to the environment. Yes, right, that was the case. Also, places with a lot of people didn’t suit me.

Suddenly, I remembered the question that Lucas had asked yesterday: ‘Are you okay?’

If he asked me that now, I would answer without hesitation.

“I’m going to throw up.”

“What? You think you’re going to throw up? ”

Aiden looked lost and began to fidget. He looked around, seemingly looking for something, then put his hands together and held them out in front of my face.

“…What?” I glanced at the outstretched palm and asked. Aiden opened his mouth with a firm expression.

“Do it here.”

Here…? Do what…? Throw up?

Unfortunately, despite Aiden’s sincerity, I wasn’t in the state of actually needing to throw up. I just said it to myself while remembering Lucas’s voice, but I never thought he would react to this level…

“It’s okay.”

“It’s okay for me too.”

I wasn’t okay, I really didn’t have to throw up.

I wasn’t someone that could stick my fingers into my throat in order to vomit on someone else’s palm?

Instead of throwing up in the palm of his hand, I quietly placed my chin on the cupped hands. It was an outstretched palm, so he wanted me to put something on it. Since there was nothing to put on it, I put my head on it.

A warm feeling hit my chin. Aiden flinched and blinked at me.

Yes, that was expected. It was a bit silly, in my opinion. Still, he shouldn’t be that surprised.

Suddenly, I made eye contact with Aiden, who was standing while supporting my head, and I quietly corrected my posture and said,

“I don’t need to throw up.”

“…That’s fortunate.”

Aiden lowered his hand stiffly, like a broken doll.

After that, silence followed.

‘Well, I was just joking, you don’t have to be this silent.’

I raised my head in the ensuing silence. Suddenly, beyond the reddish glow of the sunset, the indigo blue night sky was approaching.

“Shall we go back now?”

I didn’t think I did much, but time had just passed. I came early in the evening, but the sun was already setting.

Time really was meaningless.

Thinking about the futility of time, I stretched out my hand and covered the sky. The setting red sunlight penetrated the cracks in my hands.

As I was doing this, I remembered the light from the chandelier at the ballroom yesterday. Hey, that ball and this place were no different.

People were crowding together, and I was here sitting in a corner. The man standing in front of me was shining, music was playing… Music? Was there music playing?

At some point, loud music was flowing from the direction where people were crowded.

Contrary to that, only the sounds of the ground shaking and the laughter of people could be heard in the hall that was noisy with conversation.

‘Also, when music comes on in the middle of it, everyone stops what they’re doing and dances on the spot. You don’t know how fun it is.’

Come to think of it, I think Jane said that. Everyone stopped what they were doing, stood up and danced.

Perhaps that was true, as at first glance, the shapes of the people seemed to be dancing, flowing in one direction.

“They’re dancing.”

Aiden, who had been silent with me, muttered quietly. His head also turned toward the street where people were gathering before he knew it.

“Yes, dancing.”

Looking at the dancing shadows, I suddenly thought of Aiden, who had a strange smile on his face yesterday.

Mixed in with the crowd, the figure with sad sad eyes and raised lips.

Last night, I tried to guess the reason for his smile in my own way. It was because I couldn’t easily sleep as I was constantly bothered by that ambiguous laugh.

And as a result, I came to the conclusion… Aiden, in fact, wanted to dance, too.

Yes. That was probably it. And so, he must have watched the dancing people with that kind of expression.

I never thought he would love to dance that much… This was a good opportunity.

I decided to leave this day as a pleasant memory for Aiden. But in the end, I got left alone at the festival, and ended up shutting myself away in a deserted place… This time it should be a very good opportunity to leave good memories for Aiden.

“Shall we dance, too?”

“What?”

Aiden, who was watching the people, hurriedly turned his head toward me. He seemed somewhat surprised with his wide open eyes.

“Would you like to?”

I stretched my hand out as if asking to dance at a ball.

Aiden widened his eyes and fixed his gaze on my outstretched hand.

His shaky gaze quickly glanced at my face and returned to my hands again.

I raised my hand once to urge him.

‘So, answer quickly. Aiden.’

With my action, Aiden sighed and smiled. An arc like a crescent moon was drawn over the shadowy face.

The round eyes came back after finding their size.

“Okay.”

Warmth touched the palm of my hand again. Were wizards usually this hot-handed? Maybe my hands were just cold.

With that useless question, I got my butt off the chair.

We stumbled into position.

Both of us were far from good at dancing, so it couldn’t be helped.

With palms touching awkwardly and clumsily holding each other’s waist, we slowly moved our feet.

At that moment, I could see how skillfully Lucas was leading me yesterday.

“Is this correct?”

“Maybe not.”

When Aiden asked about our strange behavior, I answered firmly.

It was fortunate that there were few people. If it was a place with a lot of people, surely someone would have laughed at us.

We were so funny, even when we’re dancing…

“Who cares if it goes wrong? No one is watching.”

“Indeed, that’s so. No one is watching.”

Above my head, Aiden let out a laugh. I saw Aiden’s smiling face, then slowly closed my eyes.

The boundary between evening and night, the quiet sound of laughter, the sound of music leaking out, the warmth of our touching hands, and the awkwardly held waist.

The way he looked at me, the voice he let out, the small footsteps and the sound of low laughter.

Even when I opened my eyes again, they were still there.

“Did you enjoy today?”

How was it, did today become a fun festival for you?

Answering my question, Aiden lifted his hand from my hip and flicked his fingers lightly.

At the same time as a crackling sound, powder made of light drizzled down on us.

Yes, in the darkest, quietest place.

In a place where small lights floated like stars, we danced for a long time.

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