I’m Leaving - Chapter 2

If you want to experience the joys and sorrow of a lifetime, you should like someone who will never like you.

It’s just that the “life” of this experience ends in tragedy, and it ends in silence and melancholy.

March 13, 2019.

“Isn’t it?!” Wen Yang was pleasantly surprised and gossiped, clinging to the edge of Yao Shu’s bed while stepping on her own bed, and asking eagerly, “Do you really like him?”

“No.” Yao Shu turned to face the wall, flatly denied.

“Tsk!” Wen Yang tutted in detest, and patted Yao Shu’s butt under the quilt, “Why don’t you dare to recognize it? It’s not a shameful thing. He is a good person, that Senior Song, so you liking him is normal.” She said, loosening her grip on the edge of the bed and sitting back on her bed.

Yao Shu was silent and didn’t answer.

Yes, who doesn’t like such a good person?

Wen Yang thought for a while, then fell silent for a while before turning over and running up, climbing into Yao Shu’s bed, and turning her face over.

” Why don’t you speak? Do you feel like you’re not worth it?”

Yao Shu “…” Already know, but still asking.

Wen Yang patted her shoulder coaxingly and said, “Don’t be unconfident. I think you are a good match.”

“…Really?” Yao Shu responded without emotion.

“Of course! When did I lie to you?” She gave Yao Shu a serious analysis.

” Look, he’s handsome, and you’re not bad.”

“Wait.” Yao Shu interrupted her, turning over and facing up, she asked suspiciously, “Are you serious about your last sentence?”

“Of course.” Wen Yang said confidently, “Don’t you usually look in the mirror?”

…Forget it. Yao Shu didn’t want to argue about this. Girls will appreciate it, but no boys will like her stern looks.

Wen Yang continued: “He has a good character, and your character is better than his.”

… I thank you for complimenting me with your eyes closed.

“His grades are good, and your grades are not bad… Although you are not very good at additional maths or something. But it doesn’t have a big impact. He is mature and stable and you are calm. You will definitely not have violent conflicts when you are together in the future. He is gentle, you are kind. You two are a perfect match!”

Yao Shu sighed helplessly after waiting for her to finish speaking. A little tired, “Don’t you think that what you said is too far-fetched, Wen Wen?”

Wen Yang was silent.

She sat up, sighed melancholy, and scratched her head in distress, “Then you… oops, I really didn’t expect you to fall in love with him so quickly. I also just found out that he… he just broke up before he becomes president, according to his character, he might not fall in love anytime soon.” She rubbed her hair vigorously, rubbing her hair into a bird’s nest.

October 30, 2019.

Yao Shu looked at her phone, Song Jingtang asked her if she was free in the afternoon and if she wanted to go to the activity room.

Sometimes she would feel that Song Jingtang treated her differently. For example, he will tell her on the first day of the new year that it will be cold that day and remind her to wear more clothes when going out. When she forgets to bring an umbrella, he will ask her to wait at her spot, and he will come all the way to bring her an umbrella. When others joke that she is powerful enough to do heavy work, he will defend her and says “She is a girl too.”

He treats her like a real girl.

But she knew that she didn’t like it. Whatever the reason for these actions, liking her… is always the least likely one. Even if it’s true, there is just a 1 in 10,000 chance.

She knows this better than anyone.

She went to the chat and agreed to meet Song Jingtang.

It’s pretty useless. As long as it was Song Jingtang, she would always have time.

When she arrived in the activity room that day, Song Jingtang sat on the mat on the ground, waiting for her as usual, with two bottles of fresh juice in his hand.

“What’s this?” Yao Shu sat beside him and took the fresh juice he handed over, “Do you like drinking this?”

He smiled and said, “I wanted to buy Tsingtao beer (1), but you don’t drink, so I bought this.” He took a sip, um~ he said, “It’s not bad.”

Yao Shu looked down at her hand holding the fresh juice and thought that she didn’t mind Tsingtao beer if he wanted to drink it. But that would seem too deliberate. So she opened the bottle and sighed, “It’s really good.”

Song Jingtang chuckled and didn’t speak any further.

After he finished drinking a bottle of the fresh juice, he sighed against the cool wind blowing in from the windows, “Sometimes I don’t think you are a girl.”

Yao Shu panicked slightly in her heart. Her heart swayed like the juice in the bottle.

Song Jingtang didn’t wait for her response, and said to himself, “It’s said that girls have complicated emotions. But I’ve never seen you lose your temper. You always look calm and independent, and never panic in any situations.” The empty bottle in his hand was thrown into the trash can.

“Sometimes, I think if you are on the same level as me and compete with me for the president’s seat, if you win the election in the end, you may not be worse than me.” After he finish speaking, he turned to look at Yao Shu and asked, “Have you been a cadre before? When you were in middle school?”

Yao Shu snorted, shaking the fresh juice in her hand, and said indifferently, “For two years.” Those were the hardest two years for her.

She was used to acting obedient and even the teacher was deceived by her. She followed the example of other class leaders and strictly managed the class. In her opinion, it was a challenging two years. In the eyes of the teacher, it was an excellent two years while in the hearts of her classmates, it was a glorious two years. But only she knew how careful she had been in those two years.

Afraid of being careless, she worked hard.

“No wonder.” Song Jingtang smiled, “No wonder when I saw you, I felt like there’s a leader in you.”

Yao Shu knew he was complimenting her, but she was not happy at all.

She was obviously feeling very restrained. The habit of being a monitor is gone, so why does it still make her feel this way?

“Have you thought about joining the student union?” Song Jingtang asked again.

Yao Shu shook his head and laughed, “You have asked this ten times.”

“Oh, that’s fine.” Song Jingtang said regretfully.

Yao Shu put down the fruit juice in her hand, didn’t look at him, and asked, “What happened?”

Song Jingtang turned to look at her, and then smiled helplessly, “You really… how do you know everything?”

Yao Shu touched the edge of the bottle cap with her finger and thought in her heart, because every time you have something in your heart, you will start chatting and say what you think. For example, now, you kept your mouth shut and talked to her about irrelevant topics.

“I just guess.” Yao Shu withdrew her hand and smiled.

Song Jingtang was silent for a moment, then got up and went to the vending machine in the corridor to get a can of Tsingtao beer. He came back and sat beside her, raise his head, and said, “She came to me to get back together.”

Yao Shu can feel her hand beside her shaken and she asked, “You agreed?”

“No.” He smiled bitterly, “Why? I might agree. I’m just a little…” He sighed, not knowing what to say, after a while of silence, he said, “I just feel a bit… it’s hard to let go.”

“Sorry, I don’t have this experience, so I might be useless.” Yao Shu said.

Song Jingtang smiled, patted her head, and said, “What are you apologizing for, it has nothing to do with you. Besides, you already helped me a lot. You are not from the student union, but you run around with me all the long.” He put Tsingtao beer aside, “I didn’t need your help, I just wanted to find someone to talk to.”

“I’m so boring. What can you talk about with me?” Yao Shu said. There is self-deprecation in those words.

“Boring?” Song Jingtang laughed out loud, “Who said you were boring. I think we’ve got a good relationship.”

Yao Shu smiled lightly.

Song Jingtang was silent for a while, and suddenly said in a low voice, “If only I had met you earlier.”

The autumn wind swept past the old window, screeching and banging, dispelling the whisper, and carrying fallen leaves into the sky.

Yao Shu’s pupils were slightly agape, and she turned to look at him in disbelief, but only saw his side face looking at the dead branches outside the window.

She almost couldn’t stabilize herself. The seed named ‘Song Jingtang’ that she had been pressing to the ground and stopping its growth was broke open by his words. Breaking through the surface, it grows wildly towards the blue sun.

Song Jingtang.

Don’t do this.

You make me think… that I might have a chance.

She lowered her head, took a few deep breaths in silence, stabilized her emotions, and keep calm: “Why did you say this all of the sudden?”

Song Jingtang turned his head and smiled, picked up the Tsingtao beer on the ground, raised it to her, and said: “It’s easy to get a male confidant, but a female confidant is hard to find.”

Ah… it’s a confidante.

Yao Shu clinked his beer with her fresh juice, laughed, and said, “Yes, it’s hard to find a confidante.”

But who wants to be your confidante? I’m just a laywoman, I can’t afford such an elegant title.

“I will graduate next year.” Song Jingtang said, “I plan to go to Nanjing.”

“Are you going to work there?” Yao Shu asked.

“Yeah.”

“I heard there are phoenix trees (2) in Nanjing, which are very beautiful.” Yao Shu said.

“Yes, I’ve been there. It’s really beautiful and very romantic.” Song Jingtang said.

“I haven’t seen it yet.” She turned her head and smiled at Song Jingtang, and said jokingly, “Take me to have a look once.”

“Okay.” Song Jingtang said, “Then you have to do your best.”

After drinking Tsingtao beer, he clinked Yao Shu’s fresh juice again and said with a smile, “I’ll be waiting for you in Nanjing.”    

T/N:

1. Tsingtao beer:

2. Pheonix tree in Nanjing: