I’m the Only Stabilizer for the Yandere Male Lead in the BL Novel - Chapter 45

“This … .”

The soap slipped and fell to the floor. There was a ‘pop’ mixed with the sound of running water, but neither of us could say a word.

“How is this… .”

“It hurts.”

He didn’t let go of his grip, so I grabbed his arm.

“Sorry.”

Then he loosened his grip on my breast. I covered my bosom with my arm again, but my heart was beating wildly, probably from how embarrassed I was.

“Will you turn around?”

“… yes.”

He frowned and sighed. It felt like he was angry with himself, not me. He turned around and buried his face in his hands. I could see his perfect, beautiful back muscles naked, and with every breath he took, drops of water fell on me.

“Kal, by the way, what do you usually see when you take hallucinogens? Why do you look at me like a woman?”

I was curious and asked. I knew he took something different from the usual hallucinogens I know. But I was curious because I didn’t know what he was looking at.

But he sighed deeply and didn’t answer, so I spoke first.

“If it’s burdensome, you don’t have to say.”

One week left now. Until he explodes.

But in this state, wouldn’t he run out of control? He had become quite docile, close enough to bathe with me.

“I… .”

“Huh?”

“I see…. what I want to see most.”

By the time I picked up the soap from the floor and got up, he had turned around.

“What I really want to see.”

“Uh??”

His expression looked like he was incensed. But at the same time, he also seemed shy.

“I think I have a crush on the woman I saw then.”

“Ah… I understand.”

“It’s because you look alike.”

“I see.”

Even if he runs out of control later, won’t he preserve my life if I reveal my real face?

The thought made him less frightening to me.

“Will you wash my hair, Kal?”

“… Alright.”

He took the cleanser I was handing over and poured it into his hand.

“Do you need that much?”

“Your hair… It looks long.”

“I see.”

He covered half of his large palm in detergent. It worked well for me since he seemed to believe that what he was seeing was an illusion.

It was natural. All test subjects here were male and underwent a considerable number of physical examinations.

Everyone went into and out of the washing room naked too.

“Close your eyes.”

“Okay.”

I closed my eyes and couldn’t see anything. I thought it was better. His expression was difficult to read, but his intensity was apparent. 

Soon, his hand landed on my scalp and carefully touched my forehead.

“Shall I wash your face too?”

“Yes.”

Then his big hand came down my face, but I couldn’t feel the heat of his palm and only felt the rub of his fingers. I wrapped my arms around my chest to cover my body, and the water from the shower behind his head was also splashing on me.

“Your face is too small. I think I can cover it all with one hand.” [t1v: a small face is considered a Korean beauty standard]

“Your face is small too.”

“You are too small. It feels like you would break if I held it.”

“This is a confession right?”

“… I guess so.”

His words were so honest that when I asked, he answered meekly. Somehow, I hope the declaration is honest.

“How do I look? I don’t know what the woman you saw in Alec’s room looked like.”

I deliberately took off his hand and asked. Then, as I slowly opened my eyes, our eyes met. He was holding my face at that moment.

“Ugh… .”

“When you open your eyes, bubbles enter.”

Our attention turned, so I responded appropriately.

“Ouch… .”

Then the water on my face increased. He stepped aside for a moment, then quickly removed the foam, and it seemed like he was standing in front of me again with his back to the shower.

“Don’t open your eyes.”

“Okay.”

“Don’t rub. It goes deeper into your eyes.”

He wiped my eyes with his wet hand. His hand was so hot that I could tell it was his hand just by touch.

And my towel that was rolled up was touching his thighs.

“Can I leave now?”

“No.”

Unlike his one thigh, which was like a hard rock, the other thigh seemed less hard and touched me.

I was going to grab it, but I stayed there because it was uncomfortable to unwrap my arms.

I was curious about Kalisten’s hot and heavy breath mixed with the sound of his hand washing my hair and the noise of water. With one arm wrapped around my bosom, I lowered my left hand and reached for it.

“What are you doing?”

“Ah, something keeps stabbing me. Is this your knee?” [t1v: OMG}

“… Uh.”

Just as I was about to bend down, he grabbed my shoulder, and I was so surprised I opened my eyes.

“Don’t.”

“Why?”

“Close your eyes.”

“Ah, yes.”

At his warning, I quickly closed my eyes. Then I heard a loud sigh.

“Are you shy, Kal?” [t1v: in Korean she could also be saying, ‘are you embarrassed by your sword’ heehee]

“… yeah.”

He might even feel ashamed now. He was the one who threatened me not to even think about looking at his body.

It seemed that it would be good for both of us to wash up and leave as soon as possible, so I covered my chest with both arms again and raised my head.

I felt the hot hand on my scalp and his fingers rubbing my hair, it was tickling, but it felt good. He was so careful that it was as if he was holding soft tofu.

“Are you nervous?”

“… yeah.”