In Another Life

Chapter 12: In the Royal Hall
Translator: Lao Xinxian
Proofread by Yin Jing

Heaven comes to the palace. After the imperial edict is issued, he strides into the meeting hall with the Grand Scholar’s guidance. Having seen few official visits, Heaven just follows Liu, kneeling whenever Liu is kneeling, then standing up whenever Liu is rising to his feet. The civil and military officials are standing on opposite sides of the hall — this is really no difference from the description of the dramas in his prelife!

“Raise, Mr. Liu.”

“Thank you, your Majesty.” Liu comes to his feet. Heaven intends to follow, but Liu’s whisper holds him back. “Keep kneeling! His Majesty hasn’t allowed you to stand up.”

“Heaven, I have read your paper. I really like it. Raise.”

“Thank you, your Majesty.” It’s said that you can’t look around unless the emperor lets you raise your head. Otherwise you will probably offend him, and therefore, suffer from a castration then and there.

“Take it easy, Heaven. Your paper has been read by me and all the officials. It is unanimously praised. As a result, you will be exempted from the final exam. I also hear that you defeated old Wang Ping in the maneuver. Ha-ha-ha, great! In the Great An, it’s so rare to meet such a literary prodigy mastering military tactics.” As for the emperor, he has long held the grudge that Wang Ping won a fief of him. What Heaven has done this time actually helps him out.

“That’s because your Majesty’s virtue moves the Heaven. Only in the peaceful and prosperous Great An can remarkable people emerge in succession. Actually, in all time before now and in all time to come, there has never been and will never be any countries as powerful and prosperous as the Great An. Everyone says that’s because we have a great emperor, a wise ruler.” Heaven answers immediately. Damn, he believes even the traitor minister He Shen couldn’t do better than him!

The emperor is greatly pleased. The officials can’t help nodding their head — this base bloke is promising.

“Ha-ha-ha! Heaven, I can’t be that great. All of these are the Sun God’s blessing. I have decided to appoint you as the Number One Scholar of this national examination. You shall be put in an important position. Look up, let me see you.”

“Thank your Majesty.”

Well, it seems that no one can resist flattery’s charm. Heaven slowly lifts his head, with his eyes sparkling with worship — in Heaven’s prelife, he wouldn’t use such expression unless he was visiting fathers of those girls cajoled by him!

The emperor seems to be in his fifties. He is comely but a bit pale, which is the proof of his deficiency of the kidney. Evidently, he has too much sex.

To Heaven’s surprise, he also sees the last person he wants to see. The tricker stands beside the emperor. There is an obvious malicious look on his face.

“Your Majesty, as the great Sun God once said, without going through wind and rain, we can’t see the rainbow; without going through training and hammering, we can’t make the steel. So I, the God’s Messenger feel that only after spending a few years in working in a tough place, can Li serve our country better in the future. Great Sun God, Alasika!” says the tricker, and comes over to Heaven slowly.

Hateful tricker! The great Sun God never bothers to say a word like this! Heaven knows that is a Greek gift.

“Hum, His Eminence is right. It’s necessary for youngsters to go to tough places. Gentlemen, do you have any suggestions?” says the emperor to officials.

“Your Majesty, Heaven requires some adjustment. I’m afraid that he is too inexperienced to take office outside.” Grand Scholar Liu really doesn’t want to let Heaven go.

“Your Majesty, I agree with the Messenger. Heaven had better take some exercise.” Says a thin man, whose appearance reminds people of the monkey. Heaven later comes to know that he is Qian Gui, the assistant minister of Ministry of Revenue.

“Now that His Eminence thinks it’s necessary, this man had better receive some exercise. However, he can be put in an exceptionally important position.” The emperor’s voice silences all the officials.

“Your Majesty, Chaodu is an important border city. According to governor-generals, it’s a tough place to manage. What’s worse, Chaodu is frequently afflicted by mountain people. It has been nearly four years since the last governor-general of Chaodu was assassinated. From then on, this city is deserted. In my opinion, we should send a man well versed in both polite letters and material arts to manage Chaodu, but the governor-general’s rank is a bit…”

The implication is that for a candidate who just finished the national examination, the governor-general’ rank is a bit high. Under normal conditions, a candidate should start as a country magistrate, then gradually gets promotion. The gap between governor-general and country magistrate is just like that between provincial governor and country head.

The emperor frowns. It seems that he is also reluctant to send Heaven to Chaodu. He knows well what sort of place Chaodu is — it is a place of conflict and strife, a settlement of various ethnic groups. Moreover, Chaodu is an extremely exclusive place where many officials have somehow died. But after all, it is the Great An’s territory. Perhaps problems will be solved if he sends an official adept with both the pen and the sword. This will exempt the court from future worries! Thinking of this, he says without hesitation. “Remote as Chaodu is, it is still an important border city of our country. A talented person should be sent there. One’s rank all depends on his talent, so be it. I appoint Li as Chaodu’s governor-general. Li, don’t disappoint me.”

The civil and military officials all nod in agreement, only Grand Scholar Liu shakes his head secretly.

Heaven senses something fishy going on. After a few days of reading, he gains some idea of the Great An. However, he can’t say it. He can do nothing but to kowtow and thank. “Thank your Majesty. I will certainly govern Chaodu well and serve our country!”

While no one is looking, the tricker whispers to Heaven: “Ha! Chaodu is well-known as the forbidden area for officials, because most of the officials who come to Chaodu die there. Without even a shrine, it is also called as City of Evil. I’m afraid that you won’t be fortunate enough to enjoy your high position! Ha-ha!”

“Shit! So it’s you that are cheating!” Heaven silently fights back.

“Yes. It’s me. I let QianGui do so, so what? Can you hit me?” With an expression of sanctity, the tricker stands next to Heaven. He gnashes his teeth, so Heaven is the only one that can hear what he says.

“Your Majesty, may I, you courtier, ask His Eminence a small question?” Now that being an official, Heaven changes his form of address.

“What’s your question? Go ahead.” The emperor is surprised, too.

“Your Eminence, the light of the Sun God is ubiquitous. Your Eminence does spare no effort to spread the Sun God’s light, doesn’t you? Our great Messenger?”

Having known Heaven’s cunning, the tricker feels that things are going wrong. It isn’t wise to lose his temper before all the officials, so he has to follow Heaven. “Right. Indeed, under no circumstances will I stop spreading the Sun God’s light.”

“What a great man! your Majesty, I hear that Chaodu is a violent city, in which there are many unregulated ethnic groups, who have made troubles and assassinated our officials for many times. Why? In my opinion, that’s because they haven’t received the Sun God’s love, and God’s servants are incapable of spreading the Sun God’s light in this city.”

“Therefore, I venture to suggest, for the sake of the poor people in Chaodu, the great Messenger should go in person to Chaodu to spread the Sun God’s light. Only by this can the Sun God shine all the Great An.”

As soon as Heaven’s words finish, officials all nod in approval. The emperor also nods. “Yes. Over the years, Chaodu has long been one of the hardest-hit areas in the Great An. The number of sacrificed officials in Chaodu is so huge that some officials would rather retire than go there. Heaven is right. That’s because the Sun God’s blessing can’t reach there. Your Eminence, please go to Chaodu in person!” It never occurs to him that Heaven and the tricker are trying to infight!

“If your Majesty says so, I shall go there myself. When I come back, everything will have been arranged. The great Sun God will certainly shine Chaodu!” answers the tricker with a straight face, but in fact, he gnashes his teeth angrily.

The tricker turns to Heaven. “O great Sun God, your light will shine over Mr Li! God bless you, Alasika!” Then he whispers, “May you be killed on the half way!”

Heaven returns with an innocent expression. “Thank you, your Eminence. Damn, may you stumble and die as soon as you get out of the door!” Of course, he also whispers the last words.

“Mr. Li is glowing with health. I’m glad to see his uncomparable respect to the God. Your hell son will be born without anus!” Again, only Heaven and the tricker can hear the last word.

“I owe it to your Eminence’s great effort. Your mom is a whore and your dad is a procurer！” You are too green to quarrel with me!

“Y… you! Well, very well, I think highly of you. Gosh, I can’t stand him anymore, please let him be raped by shrews!” With this, the tricker bows and takes his leave.

Humph! Even though I don’t fight back, I have beat him mentally! In general, I win. At least, I won’t die alone!