Life as a Tower Maid: Locked up with the Prince - Chapter 164

Chapter 164

Translator: Yonnee

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I had feelings for Albert, and yet all this time, I had been putting him on a pedestal.

As I had always fixated on his perfect appearance, I hadn’t been keen about getting to know him more.

What I told myself was that I was still too afraid of getting to know him more—for fear that it’s impossible that he would love me.

Even if it was Albert, who was more accustomed to others relying on him rather than the other way around.

Even if it was him, who was more used to listening to other people talk rather than letting his own thoughts known.

There was a time when I wanted to let go of everything.

I didn’t dare to try and see the true extent of his scars.

I had lost my entire family, too. But even then, I couldn’t bear to think about ending my own life.

Because I was afraid to die. Even as I was being bogged down by a heavy swamp of emotions, which seemed to contain all the most depressing things in the world, I couldn’t bear the thought of leaving the world.

Death was something that I feared greatly.

But Albert was different. Now, I had become aware about how he tried to end it all… several times.

With this realization, it felt as if I had come face to face with a huge sin that I had committed.

You said that you like him. You said that you love him. But before all that, you didn’t even know about such an important part of him. 

I had been turning a blind eye to him all this time, ignoring all the opportunities to better understand and get to know him.

But there lay the question.

…Do I have the right to ask him about it?

If it was something that he didn’t want to tell me about, then I also didn’t want to force him into telling me.

Back when Albert briefly mentioned it to me, he talked as if he didn’t want me to know. That he wanted to continue being perfect for me.

So, would it be better to pretend not to know? But how long could such a story be covered up?

“Rosé, do you know why His Majesty became such a strong mage?”

As Mercy watched my expressions change in real time, she suddenly asked me. I shook my head in response.

“If a mage uses up their magic to the point that they’d run out of mana in a short span of time, it’s like a near brush with death. Truthfully, it’s an opportunity to obtain a bigger pool of magical power, but many people who attempted such a thing died in the process. The younger the mage is, the higher the chance of, you know…”

Mercy pretended to slit her own throat. When she had trailed off, Albert’s face immediately came to my mind.

Our escape from the tower had involved a considerable amount of mana. And at that time, he even treated me from black magic.

Albert only said that he was going to be sick. He never said anything about teetering between life and death.

I could feel myself getting upset at Albert. I knew that he just didn’t want me to know because I’d feel this guilty.

And Mercy likely didn’t know that what she’s saying would affect me to this extent.

If I had known about such a thing earlier, I would have endured any amount of pain that I had been given. No matter how painful it had been for me, I never wished for him to risk his life.

“But not many mages know about this. Usually, it’s considered suicide to use up your mana to the point of mana exhaustion.”

“…Then, to know the truth about it…”

“Yeah. Even when His Majesty had been so young back then, he came to the conclusion that it was better to just die than to continue on. So he tried to take his own life through this method, but he survived, and that’s how he came to know about that fact. He’s never one to do things half-heartedly.”

I didn’t want this to be the reason behind why he had been able to become the strong mage that he was.

Neither did I want him to be the perfect male lead from a novel who had everything from birth.

Even if everything had come from his abilities, everything else would have been fine.

I bit my lower lip. Hard.

Still, I wanted to hear more from Mercy. Anything that she knew.

“It’s a fact that’s known amongst mages who have gone through the same thing. There’s nothing more I can say about it beyond that.”

But I wanted to know more about the rumor.

“Mercy, can we walk a little more?”

However, if Albert didn’t want me to know, then I didn’t want to ask.

Being aware of this side of him wouldn’t dent his perfection in any way, but I still wanted to protect his intention of not letting me know about it.

“Sure, alright.”

As soon as Mercy grasped what I wanted to do, she gave me a nod. As I carried a bag that contained his gifts, we continued to walk.

While going down the avenue, I listened to what other people were saying.

“I heard that His Majesty had thrown himself down a lake. He died and came back to life.”

“…When he came back from that near death experience and made up his mind, it wasn’t long after that he was taken under the former king’s custody.”

“And then he was used. What a rotten f*cker, that former king.”

The people made a great deal of noise. And depictions of Albert’s face could be seen everywhere.

As more of Rosteratu’s evildoings were revealed, the rumors that Albert had spread took more hold in the people’s minds.

And, inevitably, if the stories about Albert were just merely rumors, then they wouldn’t have been able to get such detailed anecdotes.

In the end, there were witnesses, and this added credibility to those stories.

Most of what I was hearing now were things that I had already read in the original novel, but it was still so painful to listen to them.

These were my thoughts, but I wonder what people felt about these stories. It couldn’t even be certain if respecting Albert was a natural progression for them.

What was flashing through my mind now was the look on his face when he said that it was fine, as long as I was the only one who didn’t know about it.

Old wounds were bound to leave scars. Time could solve many things, but that didn’t mean that scars wouldn’t remain.

There’s no way that I didn’t actually wish to talk to him about it, to check whether he was alright now or not. But with that expression on his face, I wouldn’t have been able to bring it up.

Albert found a way to break through the malicious rumors that Rosteratu left behind, but in the process, it had dug through his old wounds.

But truly. Albert had decided to continue living after those horrific days—and that Albert was amazing.

“We’ll be able to see a restaurant at the end of this road.”

Mercy leaned in close to me and said this in a whisper. She was looking straight ahead.

Now that she mentioned it, it was almost dinnertime.

To get rid of these gloomy thoughts, even for a moment, we should get something delicious to eat. I tried to walk forward with a lighter mood.

“You know, His Majesty is waiting for you.”

Until I heard what Mercy said.