My Love’s First Love is Back - Chapter 3-4
Chapter 3
Episode 10
Time passed. Drunk in the dream of being in the same room as her beloved Ian, Elsia luckily didn’t catch a cold, so her day was full of joy.
When she woke up, she got ready thanks for Woody. She had breakfast and enjoyed a light walk in the castle. Although there were only a few books, she was able to enter Ian’s study, making it possible to read without anyone’s interference.
Saturday was her favorite day. White Bunny was taking care of Ian, and she could visit him once a week. In lieu of that, she could legally see Ian today.
[ You don’t even see him everyday. Idiot Elsia, are you satisfied with a trivial encounter? It’s been a while since I talked about kissing him. Lean over and kiss him on the cheek! If that guy gets serious, you can just call it a New Year’s kiss. ]
It was the last week of January now.
Therefore, White Bunny’s goal could not be achieved because it was overdue.
With Elsia’s timid nature, it was impossible to carry out such a grand plan.
“Be quiet!”
Elsia covered White Bunny’s open mouth, but the rabbit doll with strong teeth bit the back of her hand and complained.
[ Hmph, that’s enough. You’re ruining everything by pretending to be a noble and timid lady even though I warned you… I dreamed of having fun every day by creating a rabbit playroom in the spacious and wonderful marquis’ mansion. ]
“I’ll make it for you later.””
Unlike Woody, who was created first and relatively expressed little emotion, White Bunny who had the soul of an ancient spirit was very delicate. After listening to the doll, Elisa felt a little sorry for not providing a separate place to rest every time she summoned him.
White Bunny smiled.
[ It’s okay. I know all your messy dexterity. Do you think I’d want it that much? Let’s go to the count’s room. ]
“Bunny, I’ve been thinking about this for a long time, but please be careful what you say in front of the count. He’s a patient.”
The rabbit doll shook its head as if it were tired of it.
[ Ugh, you’re such a woman. Who do you say needs to be careful? He’s not a terminally ill patient. Stop worrying about that man and take care of your own health! From now on, please keep me by your side without lifting the summon. ]
***
Ian’s checkup went smoothly as scheduled. White Bunny, who was carefully looking at the count sitting in a chair, was diagnosed as healthy. Elsia was relieved.
“I’m glad there’s nothing wrong.”
“…….”
Unlike their usual Saturdays, he didn’t say anything. Usually, it was common to say hello to White Bunny after the checkup, or to Elsia to drink a cup of tea. However, Elsia pretended not to notice and stayed with him a little longer to daydream.
The desire to be next to Ian was strong, but Elsia sensed that he was not in a very good mood, so she quietly returned afterwards.
Elsia, who did not cancel the summons as White Bunny requested, also looked at the said doll. He usually makes a fuss such as, “What? Did you quickly get worried because spring is coming back and you want to waste someone else’s hard work?” or he would comment “Do you want to stop this treatment?”
In fact, White Bunny had a history of refusing to treat a patient who consistently ignored Elsia in an arrogant manner when they first came to the temple of the Tyr Church and tested his abilities. Elsia, the owner of the doll, eventually had to give up because it was useless no matter how much she asked.
The contempt Sir Nessian directed to her at that time…….
She didn’t want to think about it.
“Bunny?”
[ How strange. ]
“Huh?”
White Bunny climbed onto the small cushion on the fur rug.
[ You’re weird today, Count of Ice. Your body is completely normal, but it looks like there’s a big concern about your mental state.…]
“It’s probably because it’s spring soon.””
Elsia thought little of White Bunny’s concern and brushed it off.
Their schedule for treatment was set in advance to start in February. However, Ian told Seiran that he wouldn’t return as the commander of the Holy Knights and he only plans to return to the Imperial Captial. Ian would have difficulty in encountering the Crown Prince and Sir Nessian. His family is in the capital as well.
Thinking of such things, it was normal to have a complicated mind. Furthermore, Ian is a person who has received people’s attention since birth, so it will be more difficult than others. When he came to Eusley Castle, he did not retire normally, so he had to deal with the belated settlement alone.
Even if there was a change of heart as White Bunny said, Elsia could not immediately intervene deeply in his troubles. However, things would be different if he wanted to ask for help.
‘Ian… What can I do for you? If you just tell me to stay by your side, I can follow you anywhere.’
Elsia’s desperate and twinkling star-like heart could not reach him at all.
That evening after the examination, Ian was locked up in the bedroom. His eyes were full of bitterness as they flickered looking at the lonely lamp on the desk.
‘I’m glad there’s nothing wrong.’
The words that Elsia said pierced Ian’s chest like a dagger and did not disappear. Her light consolation brought up the memories he had buried in the past.
“Kayl…la…”
In Ian’s heart, a monster-like evil slowly grew.
‘Why wasn’t Elsia a member of our expedition at the time?’
Kayla wouldn’t have lost her life if Elsia had accompanied her; no, it was her amazing healing doll! Even if she hadn’t accompanied them but instead lent the doll.
Even so, Ian knew.
It wasn’t Elsia’s fault or anyone that they hadn’t known her existence earlier. What would people think if the Saint, who is the master of healing herself, was still accompanied by a healer with rumored greater abilities?
In any case, Kayla had died, and Ian who loved her to leave everything was breathing meaninglessly. Hot breath flowing from his lips as he felt terrible sorrow.
“Ugh…”
‘For what reason do you live, Ian Cypris?’
‘Kayla wouldn’t have been lonely if I had closed my eyes with her!’
My precious lover- No, I am the helpless one who couldn’t bring a strand of hair! Ian Cypris’ life was spared after being stopped by the hands of his comrades.
How can an ugly man be a holy knight? He should die. He deserved to die right now!
Unable to bear the guilt echoing from within, he tightly covered his ears with his hands. However, the pain that had been piled up on his chest for a long time burned like an oiled flame and weighed down on him.
{ Hi, you’re Ian, aren’t you? I’m Kayla. }
The first meeting with a pretty girl, who approached without timidness and held out her hand with a smile. Ian could never forget the memories of that time. The moment when the intense first encounter turned into the faint love that captivated the boy was in an instant.
{ I… -I want to live as a saint. I want to be a help to all pilgrims and those who live far away who visit the Vanir Church. If I can do something more, I will! Ian, you’re a knight from the temple, you understand how I feel, right? }
A painful first love left as a vivid memory after refusing Ian’s courtship to be made public, saying he was a man walking towards a noble mission. If they had broken up there, it wouldn’t have hurt this much…….
{… Ahng, Ugh, Save me…….}
The confession he spoke, received Kayla’s reply too late. Their two fingers promised to run away when it was all over, and Ian, who vowed to protect the saint. Both making promises he couldn’t keep and eventually made him suffer in the end…
“Stop, Stop it!”
He glowed at the terrible scene that was clearly visible even with his eyes open or closed. The pain of losing love could not be healed by anything. Ian suffered from the curse that he put himself.
Kayla’s bloody afterimage did not disappear even when Ian stomped his feet, threw away the parchment on the table with his right hand, and hit his head anywhere. The enormous pain felt from the back of his head hit him. In the end, it was not a physical pain, but a sequel resulting from a deep psychological wound.
Ian looked around with bloodshot eyes and got up. He opened the handle of the display case roughly and looked through the translucent glass. There was not a single bottle of alcohol in it. It was natural because he swore with his mouth that he would stop drinking now and ordered to clean everything away.
“Damn it!”
He hit the glass in the display case with his left hand, and stepped out of his room.
‘I need alcohol, pronto.’
Alcohol was the only thing that could save Ian Cypris.
In the wind, the flower wreath, which had been completed with Elsia and hung on the door throughout the winter, tumbled on the nail and fell helplessly on the floor.
* * *
“…….”
[ Elsia, wake up, Elsia! ]
“Yeah… ? No, wait, It tickles!”
[ Foolish Elsa, it’s time to wake up! ]
At around 3 a.m when Elsia, who was sleeping soundly, woke up displeased as a bunch of itchy fur came up above her face and pressed down her nose and mouth.
The culprit was White Bunny. Unlike the calm Woody, the chatterbox White Bunny often mutters to himself. She was worried that this might happen one day.
She was angry as she argued.
“Bunny! I decided to keep the summon on the condition that you’ll stay calm. Why are you breaking your promise? I’m going to scold you!”
[ Oh, you silly idiot! It’s the count that you like so much! That man isn’t in his room! It’s already been a while! ]
“What?”
Upon hearing an unexpected remark, Elsia was startled and glanced over the clock, it was 3:10 a.m. It’s too early, but she couldn’t jump into conclusions.
She asked him softly.
“Bunny, can I look for the Count?.…. No, I’ll look for him with you. Will you keep this a secret for me?”
Unlike Woody, White Bunny was a special doll with the soul of an ancient spirit. He has emotions and can talk on his free will. Elsia relied on him because she could have plenty of conversations in addition to his good judgment. However, the favor that Elsia asked was too much considering their location. Unfortunately, no matter how dangerous the situation was, they could never set the castle owner aside.
Elsia started walking from the first floor of the inner castle with a lamp. It was dawn, so there wasn’t anyone around. First, she came to a banquet hall which was neglected for a long time. She then searched the drawing room and guest room where the wreath was made, but she couldn’t see Ian at all.
“He’s not here.”
Standing in front of the kitchen, she debated about whether she could go inside.
[ Hmm, It’s weird. I smell something suspicious here. Is it the smell of a guy who’s been taking alcohol for years. ]
White Bunny, who was quietly inside Elsia’s robe, gave an important hint, pointing to the stairs leading to the basement. There was no candlestick hung on the wall, so it was all dark. Elsia was hesitating as she was scared to go.
“Thank you.”
Elsia, who thanked White Bunny, quickly went downstairs. Even though it was underground, the air was not too cold, so it was okay to go walk through it. The basement was a storage full of alcohol bottles and barrels, Ian, who was lying on the floor, was finally found.
“Ian…!”
“Urgh…”
Her heart sank. Ian looked completely intoxicated with a lot of unsolvable dissatisfaction in his face like the first day she met him. Elsia quickly helped him, who collapsed as she hung the lamp on the wall.
“Ian, you have to go back to your bedroom.”
“Who…..?”
The person she liked was drunk and acted like a fool despite having a calm and dangerous beauty. Where did the Ian Cypris she fell for disappeared to? Why did he go back to his old self overnight? He even had his regular check-up that morning.
Elsia pressed down the sad feeling manifesting into tears and rubbed her eyes.
“It’s Elsia, Ian.”
“Elsie…? Oh, oh! You’re such a wonderful healer. You know, you can be a famous healer who will shake the entire nation!”
She was not a healer, but a puppeteer. On top of that, Ian’s tone was sarcastic no matter how well she listened to it, but that was not important as of now.
“It’s cold, let’s go back to your bedroom first… Ouch!”
Ian pushed the innocent Elsia down, pinning her. He hovered above her, just like the day she first met him.
“Why did you appear so late?””
“Yes…?”
When Elsia was confused after hearing something incomprehensible, Ian was drunk and asked, stroking her cheek with his trembling fingers.
“You don’t have to chase after me, whom everyone gave up on. You said you’d heal me. If I had given you that kindness a little earlier… How great would it have been?”
“Ian?”
Ian cried and shouted sadly like a lost child.
“Why… Why did you show up just now? Why weren’t you there when my Kayla was bleeding to death? If you were such a great person, you should have gone to the entrance of Jotunheim with me! You… You… If I had known a little earlier… Hik, that wouldn’t have happened! Kayla! She shouldn’t have died!”
“…….”
Elsia couldn’t answer back. How can she answer that question casually? Tears quickly formed in her eyes and began to flow down like a stream..
Ian fell down on top of her and cried out.
“You… You…. You could have done it. Kayla… I could have saved her! Tell me why you weren’t by my side back then even though you had enough skills!”
“I also… I really don’t know…. (Crying)…. Why are you doing this to me? Why me…?”
‘What can I say to Ian’s ridiculous coercion? Didn’t I want to meet Ian sooner? I wanted to participate to become his colleague too! If I were Ian’s childhood friend, would I be much closer to him than Kayla ever did?’
If so, would she have been able to take Ian instead of Kayla? Can she guarantee that Ian can have happy days by winning the love he had for Kayla? A love that put him still in terrible pain that made him unable to get out of it?
If that’s not the case.
How about her…?
Would she be able to stand it? Saving Kayla and seeing the both of them off in the name of love?
Just because they’re friends?
Can she smile happily? While watching Ian’s love be fulfilled until the end?
“I can’t! That’s never something I can do.…. I can’t stand things like that. I can’t be friends with him like that!”
Elsia began to cry more sadly than Ian, who cried because he was drunk. She really didn’t know that the love she had been struggling with would be broken in this way. There is only one thing the two of them who have lost their only love can do at this moment. All they had to do was shed hot tears to soothe their broken hearts.
[ Sigh, it’s frustrating. What are these two idiots doing? I’m going to burn my stomach watching them like this. ]
White Bunny, who was in Elsia’s arms, popped out and covered Ian’s face. He also scattered a sleeping spell to put the two of them to sleep at the same time. Then, he jumped up to the first floor to call some people to help them.
Two hours later, the butler, who came out of Ian’s bedroom, found something stuck under the door.
END OF EPISODE 10
Tl Notes: I’m really and sincerely sorry for being unable to update for a while. I’ll bring in the rest of book 1 because its been long over due
PS: I’m practicing how to publish on wordpress so forgive me for any mistakes :'{ and i’ll be in the middle of making a mess. Haha feel free to laugh, i keep laughing at myself too huhuhu.