My Love’s First Love is Back - Chapter 3-5

Chapter 3

Episode 11 

“Hmm…? It’s broken.”

It was the wreath that dropped when Ian kicked the door open.

The wreath, which was crushed and scratched under the door, became a mess. The damage was fatal because the leaves were dry. It was already February so he couldn’t hang it on the door again, especially it became a hideous object.

“I’ll have to throw it away. Hey, break this and throw it into the fireplace.”

“Yes.”

The butler did not know how many times Elsia laughed when she saw Reese hanging on the door of Ian’s bedroom as she passed the hallway. He picked up the damaged wreath and gave it to the servant next to him. Dark clouds that flocked even before the morning sun was bright covered the roof of Eusley Castle.

After waking up from that night, Elsia acted the same as before.

On Saturday of that week, she went to Ian with White Bunny for Ian’s checkup. When she found that there was nothing wrong, she offered her congratulations. It was the first meeting since the two collapsed together in the storage.

However, Ian did not say a word as if he had forgotten everything that day. There was only a forced expression on his face.

Ian, who sat silently, asked her.

“… Is the surgery next week?”

“Yes.”

‘He must be worried? No, White Bunny will do well on his own.’

There was no warm encouragement saying, “Put your mind at ease and hold on, it will be over soon.” There was no way Ian couldn’t be unaware of the dry tone from Elsia’s usual sweet voice.

Elsia even jumped to her feet as soon as she finished answering.

“Elsia….”

“Rest well.”

She said goodbye as if she hadn’t heard Ian even though he was calling her. She didn’t even wonder what expression he made. Whether he hated himself for being rude overnight or he thought of himself as ridiculous.

Anyway, Elsia liked Ian one-sidedly.

Starting a love and raising it on her own without him knowing.

Was that for Ian?

No, it wasn’t.

It was her own love and satisfaction.

So, Elsia can’t blame Ian for whatever he thought about her, can’t she?

If she had given up on such feelings, she wouldn’t have suffered so much. If she had known her foolishness would have ended this way…

‘I wish I hadn’t started it.’

Seiran called in Elsia, who was heading to the bedroom at a fast pace.

“Ms. Bennett”?

“Is there something wrong?”

Despite her rather sharp reaction, Seiran showed no change in expression.

“You must be tired, but may I talk to you for a moment? It won’t take long.”

“…….”

Elsia made a reluctant expression, but she was forced to follow Seiran. She was told that it was Seiran who transferred White Bunny to rest. If it wasn’t for him, even the butler would have ignored her due to this current mood.

When Seiran entered the drawing room, he glanced at Elsia’s face, who became sensitive as if she had chewed a needle. She was staring at him with subtle anger.

“I hope you can finish the treatment until the end.”

“I’m here to do that. Did it look like I was going to go back halfway finished?”

When Elsia took an extremely defensive attitude, Seiran let out a rare sigh.

“I apologize, Ms. Bennett. I should have paid more attention to the owner’s movements, but I’ve been too lazy recently. That day… I’m sure you were very surprised. It happened once in a while before Miss Bennett came, but it was quiet for so long. I’m ashamed to think that I put you in a difficult situation.”

“…….”

The wounds that Elsia received firmly were contained in the statement She, too- was confident that Ian’s condition had improved close to full recovery with her dedicated care, her daily greetings, and White Bunny’s treatment.

However, the hopeful thoughts she had were only vain delusions.

Ian returned to his old state as soon as the reins were released a little. The cause of his wound was greater than she thought….She doesn’t want to be specific about it.

Rather than blaming Ian, she wanted to laugh at herself, who thought she could push away the saint’s existence and claim his love. Needless to say, she hated him a bit.

Ian was really bad for Elsia Bennett, if not to other people. What he shouted over Elsia that day was still stuck in her heart, making her heart bleed.

When she tried to sleep, Ian’s mocking words came like hallucinations.

{ Elsia Bennett, did you think you could open my heart and take my love? Don’t get delusional! If it weren’t for the healing doll you had, I wouldn’t even know a woman like you. Kayla is my eternal love even after death. Don’t snoop around when you’re just a commoner! }

She knew he wouldn’t talk like that, but she didn’t want to get hurt. Thus, avoiding him was for the best.

“As the monotonous daily life continues throughout the day, the master seems to be unable to overcome the difficulties of that week. Ms. Bennett worked hard, but I’m really sorry for causing you to suffer, really…….”

Awakening from her drunken love for Ian, she finally opened her eyes.

Perhaps she was finally able to see the truth behind Sir Seiran. Unlike her, he was a member of the expedition and abandoned everything to accompany Ian.

Perhaps Seiran’s modest and loyal character was the top contributor to saving Ian.

Elsia, feeling more depressed, gave a comforting self-talk.

“No. I’m well aware that I reached this far thanks to Sir Seiran. I walked to the basement myself. If I had called people in from the beginning, I wouldn’t suffer.”

“No, Ms. Bennett.”

“That day… Hmm, that’s enough. The count is suffering so much because of the blood-covered saint, but I can’t say anything more, so I’ll just forget it, okay?”

Elsia was going to stop here and get up soon. However, listening to her made Seiran tilt his head in confusion.

“What did you say?”

“Yes?”

“Didn’t you just say that the saint died while covered in blood?”

Elsia wasn’t completely informed about the expedition. She only vaguely heard that the saint had died and that was the reason why Ian Cypris left the Capital.

The creation story only mentioned one world tree. It was given by the god, Tyr. It served as the protector of all living things. One day, goddess Vanir gave an oracle that the entrance called Jotunheim, which sealed the giants, would open and burn down the world tree.

The destruction of the world tree means the end of the world.

This was also a warning written in the Bible in the beginning.

The Vanir’s denomination urgently set up the strongest expedition by asking for help from Kayla, the saint of the time, the Tyr denomination and Imperial Family.

At that time, Ian, who was the head of the Holy Knights of the Tyr Church, headed to Jotunheim with the Saint’s party and his own. The oracle said that Leviathan could be stopped in front of the door. Unfortunately, Ian’s lack of ability wasn’t enough.

That is why…

St. Kayla sacrificed and completely closed the door where cursed giants lived, and the expedition that lost the saint returned safely.

That was the story that Elsia knew from the capital.

“What the Count said. He cried asking why you didn’t save the saint who was bleeding to death at that time?”

Elsia also thought it was a little strange when she heard those words, but speculated it was simply the hidden truth as it was a terrible story.

“… Maybe you heard him wrong? Ms. Bennett, has there been a talk about the saint in the capital recently? The saint did sacrifice herself to close the door, but she did not bleed or suffer.”

“No. I actually knew the truth. It’s the first time I heard a bloody story from the Count. I was just surprised and remembered it.”

Seiran frowned and soon came to a conclusion.

“Maybe the master saw a rough hallucination because he was drunk. You must have been surprised. I really have no excuse for the master, Ms. Bennett.”

“I guess so.”

“I’m sorry for taking Ms. Bennett’s time even though she’s not feeling well.”

“No, it’s alright. Then I’ll get going.”

Elsia answered indifferently as she stood up. Whatever the truth of the expedition was, it was already none of her business.

She only confirmed the painful fact that Ian Cypris still loves St. Kayla, but what’s the big deal? Elsia’s chest hurts so much as if cut by a knife!

After treating Ian, she wanted to quickly return to the capital. No, she hated the crowded capital because she couldn’t breathe. After reporting only the completion of her mission, Elsia wanted to go back to her hometown and relax.

In a place where there is no one distressing her weak and soft heart…

She wanted to heal her wounds alone for a long time, embracing the painful and sad love that still remains.

Until all the memories about Ian disappear.

Woody will protect her carefree daily life, and White Bunny will just have to be a light companion.

‘Can I forget what happened here? Everything? Is that possible, Elsia? Originally, I wasn’t even a guest for a nobleman like him.’

Even after saying that, Elsia couldn’t even get rid of Ian’s wreath, which was supposedly hung. Ian threw away the wreath, so why can’t she? For what reason?

It seemed that it would take a long time to completely end this foolish love.

As the days went by, the snow piled up in the castle melted, and Ian’s treatment finally began. Ian held out silently even if there was a rather violent and loud sound while aligning the dislocated bones. Going through a painful treatment process, Elsia did not look at him properly and waited for the process to end.

Even though she still liked him, the wounds she received that day remained intact as if salt was sprinkled.

[ Hmm, it’s finally over! Oh, you can’t move yet! You just have to stay still for two days and slowly start your rehabilitation while looking at the progress. ]

White Bunny meticulously wrapped a protector around Ian’s hand. Ian sighed as he saw the guard wrapped around his hand that returned smooth as before.

“Really… To be able to come back to this completely…. I was foolish. No, you shouldn’t have gotten hurt from the beginning so I didn’t need to do this.”

Also, if he talks about the saint and asks why she didn’t save him again, she will pour a cup of water on the top of his head this time. Elsia clenched her small fist with an unexpected thought and turned away from him until the end. Her unsightly grumpy temper grew this pointedly ‘not long after the day she was hurt.’

After finishing, White Bunny returned to Elsia’s arms and hugged her warmly.

There is only one thing left for her to do at Eusley Castle.

Leave.

When she gets back to her bedroom, she’d organize her luggage, said goodbye to Haden, and if Ian is okay after a month, she’d return home as soon as possible

“…Elsia?”

“Yes.”

Ian, who heard an insensitive answer, quietly opened his mouth.

“That day… I’m sorry.”

“…….”

The air that had stayed around her felt like a cozy cloud, lingered. It was a warm breeze like spring when the two of them were making wreaths together. Hearing his apology, she felt a slight tremor in her ear. Just as the frozen thick ice melted in winter, her mind was relaxed at once.

Elsia was so weak in love. A fool that will never exist again in the world, deliberately makes thorns that have never existed, stands up tightly, and quickly forgets everything when her loved one reaches out.

“That… I have no idea why I did that. I’m sorry to say this, but I was also very guilty after waking up drunk. I thought I’ve been controlling my heart well.…. I’m so sorry that I did that to you, my benefactor.”

“There are days like that in life.”

She tried to dismiss Ian’s heavy apology, but his confession continued.

“Seiran said I used abusive language and acted badly, is that true? At that time, I said I wasn’t hurt anywhere, I really am ashamed to face you like this.”

Abusive language? His statements were mere hopeful thinking, strictly speaking, there was another reason why Elsia was extremely hurt. Seiran roughly covered it with another reason, so she didn’t need to reveal herself.

Rather, I didn’t even know it was going well now.

If this was the last chance to hate Ian, it was better not to miss it.

Elsia simply answered.

“I’m going to forget about that day. The Count is sick, so please don’t worry about trivial things and focus on getting better.”

“Elsia Bennett…….”

Ian called her full name when she was about to stand up, Elsia was forced to sit again.

“What?”

“I… I haven’t decided how to live in the future after my hands are healed.”

Elsia was a little surprised to hear an unexpected remark. This was because, as long as the treatment of the hand was granted, Ian was to return to the capital. Despite the atmosphere as he left, he was still a high-ranking nobleman after all.

But is Ian’s decision still unfinished?

“Then…”

“There’s something else I want to tell you. Elsia… I.. had a long dream. Such a painful dream that no one can solve and that I have to escape with my own strength…”

“…….”

His hands got better. White Bunny said he might need rehabilitation, but even that would be very short. Ian can use his hand as it used to be in a week’s time.

“Even if it takes a long time, I want to completely escape from the long-lost coma. So I….”

Ian’s beautiful blue eyes that Elsia loved and did not hesitate to follow her hazel-colored eyes. She couldn’t move. In the first place, her fever of love has not healed yet. She was helpless in front of Ian, like a squirrel stiffening at the sight of a hawk.

His eyes told her that he needed Elsia.

The reason why Elsia deliberately hated Ian, who had not been able to get out of his deep wound, was because she was afraid of not being able to escape this love.

But it was too late.

When this man calls her name with sincerity,

She couldn’t do anything.

The little butterfly, who fell in love with the beautiful flower, dangled on the trap and became a prisoner forever.

Forever.

“Elsia, will you be my friend? I sincerely ask you.”

It was a reality that she had been eagerly dreaming of, but in a different sense.

END OF EPISODE 11

Tl Notes: haha, friends? after everything? my gawd