Paranoid Love Affair - Chapter 11

Hye-rim and Ji-eun sat on either side leaving a seat for Yoon-woo in the middle of them.

While searching for seats Ji-eun kept talking to Yoon-woo about the movie, Hye-rim followed.

“Yoon-woo must be happy. I’ve never seen this in a movie theatre before. I want to watch everything that happens in the movie and watch it as if I’m watching it for the first time.”

“Yoon-woo it is okay if you cry you don’t have to hold back just because you are a man, okay? We won’t make fun of you or anything, see, I also brought a handkerchief.”

Ji-eun pulled out a small white handkerchief and shook it.

Ji-eun had been making a fuss like this beside Yoon-woo ever since they entered the theatre.

She was excited to hear Yoon-woo’s review as she explained what a masterpiece it was.

When Yoon-woo asked her about the plot of the movie, she said it would create a bias in his judgement, so she said nothing about the content and only talked about what the Metacritic score and Rotten Tomato score was.

I think the movie production company will be really pleased to see this senior.

“No, Yoon-woo. It’s a well-made movie, but there’s nothing to cry about, it’s just Unnie’s oversensitive. You see she cried even when she watched this for the ninth time.”

“No, it’s because Hye-rim is impassive.”

“Well…… Anyway, thank you for taking me to the movie. I’ll enjoy it.”

In fact, Yoon-woo had no expectations about the movie.

I was going to say the movie is fun.

First of all, I saw some people in the movie theatre accompanied by a kid, so I thought we were a little too old to watch this movie, but to be honest, Ji-eun was a little…… I was thinking her taste is a little childish.

The scene where Ji-eun, who was sucking Oreo shake like a cute little child, repeated many times in his mind.

But after the commercial, the title “Inside Out” caught my eye, and I remembered that this was the movie that Bunny went to watch alone yesterday.

And the movie was…….

“Yoon-woo…Excuse me…Are you okay? Wipe your tears.” “You too, Noona.”

“Ugh…… Hye-rim is really unemotional…sniff”

“Let’s just say Yoon-woo is crying because it’s his first time, but why are you crying when it’s your 10th time watching it?”

The handkerchief brought by Ji-eun was already wet with Ji-eun’s tears, and Yoon-woo came out of the bathroom while wiping his tears with a tissue given by Hye-rim.

Yoon-woo and Ji-eun’s eyes had turned red, and the children who were coming out of the movie looked at them. So, Hye-rim was very embarrassed.

The main characters of Inside Out were the personified emotions that live in the head of a girl named Riley who moved to an unfamiliar city.

However, one day after the move, an accident occurred in Riley’s mind, and the key memories that supported Riley’s character were lost.

Riley’s inner world was about to collapse.

Riley was sad, angry, and rebellious, and eventually left school without her parents knowing and tried to get on a bus to her hometown by herself.

In the meantime, Riley’s emotions in her mind, which were going around to retrieve her core memories, barely regained themselves after sacrificing Riley’s innocence.

But the core memory of being happy wasn’t really made up of joy.

All the happiness actually came with sadness.

Riley’s happy memory was the time when she was very sad after losing a hockey match and she was able to overcome it with joy as her teammates and family supported and cheered her up.

Happiness was the time when you could share your sorrow to the people around you and overcome the sadness with it.

The movie ended with parents who had been looking for Riley all day, hugging Riley warmly and making it a happy environment for everyone in the family.

“Whose birthday is it, Christmas Jesus’ or yours?”

Lee Yoon-woo, a second grader in elementary school, learned that other children receive presents and have fun with their parents on Christmas.

So, I asked my father if we could go out together, and the answer was colder than the snowy weather of December.

“Can’t you see I’m leaving? Why are you causing all this trouble? You don’t know anything about having a baby! I’m so….”

Yoon-woo had always been foolish.

But young Yoon-woo was even more foolish.

It was insanely foolish to think that he deserved his parents’ care, that Yoon-woo could enjoy what others enjoyed, and that something would change if he left the house after crying and whining.

It was a Christmas filled with snow.

It snowed heavily outside and the children were going somewhere, chatting happily with their parents or friends.

Yoon-woo stood in the corner of a playground without a swing and looked enviously at others enjoying Christmas.

When I watched TV alone at home when no one was home, there were occasional scenes where parents desperately looked for their child who left home and reconciled with tears.

Like such a scene, I waited hard thinking that my mom or dad would come to me now apologising and say let’s have a great Christmas together.

My legs started aching, I was cold and hungry.

Everyone was having a great time. I wished someone would kidnap me rather than mom or dad coming.

However, poor Yoon-woo’s neighbour didn’t care about the kid sitting alone in the corner of the playground.

The warm happiness they had in poverty only belonged to their families.

And why would someone else’s son lie in the corner of the playground at Christmas? So even kidnappers would not kidnap a kid like Yoon-woo.

The kidnapper didn’t need Yoon-woo either.

Yoon-woo, on whom snow fell in the corner of the playground, was even more worthless than the snowman who was collapsing right next to him.

As the sun went down, Yoon-woo naturally returned to his home. However, it was not the angry or the apologizing parents who waited for him, who gave up his hope and returned home, but a dead silence.

He couldn’t even whine now. There was a note that said, “Don’t play too much and buy a hamburger.” and a 10,000 won note on the table.

Yoon-woo understood at that moment.

The only happiness allowed to him in his life would be the 10,000 won bill on this table.

Rather than wandering outside in the cold and admiring the distant happiness that won’t come to you, it’s better to eat hamburgers alone in a dark and comfortable silence.

The best way is not to look at others’ happiness.

“Well…… so how was the movie, Yoon-woo?”

Hye-rim asked. After the movie we came to the cafe because it was too early to eat.

The coffee was billed individually. Yoon-woo took longer to wipe his tears and calm down than Ji-eun, so he was just embarrassed.

“Look, Hye-rim, you’re watching a movie with Yoon-woo and me. But you didn’t watch it with emotions. You should ummm ……watch with your heart? Huh? Feel the movie with your heart. Right, Yoon-woo?”

“Oh…… well…… Well… wouldn’t it be different for everyone?”

“I too watched the movie with heart, okay. It’s just that I don’t get which part of the movie was worth crying about. It’s a little touching movie but not that much that I should cry, but …. Oh…. Yoon-woo, not that you’re weird, okay?”

“Then let’s talk amongst ourselves, excluding Hye-rim who doesn’t understand.”

“Unnie!”

“You know what? Every time that pink elephant disappeared, my tear glands burst from within. How was it for Yoon-woo?”

“I’m just…….”

Lee Yoon-woo, a second grader in elementary school who was wandering around the residential area in the snow, and the scenery of other people in houses which can be seen from the window were all very happy.

There was a house where people ordered chicken, and a house where a child with a toy was running all over the house which was a Christmas gift.

But it was not his business. No matter how warm the inside of the window was, it had nothing to do with him, who was being hit by the cold wind alone outside.

Christmas was Jesus’ birthday, not Yoon-woo’s.

In fact, Yoon-woo’s birthday gift was just an allowance.

The movie theatre screen was like a big window that he couldn’t get to feel what was within it.

A happy view from the window, a warm family, and a boy who has a crush on Riley at the end.

What was the purpose of this movie?

Is it saying to Yoon-woo…’ Look! I’ve things that you don’t and I’ll show you the things you can’t have!’’

If this movie had to be a masterpiece for him then there should have been a murderer or a demon at the end.

“Just what?”

“I just… I envied Riley.”

“Uh……why………?”

I envied everything. Yoon-woo had never experienced anything that the girl has.

Yoon-woo thought of the day when he was alone outside where it snowed.

Maybe my parents just didn’t want young me to come back home?

Why wasn’t anyone home that evening?

Did the two of them enjoy the freedom of getting away from me, over a dinner at a fancy restaurant?

I could only find happiness in them, but to them, I was just a stone that hindered happiness.

“I don’t have parents who would look for me all day… Let’s not talk about that. Haha… How about dinner?”

Yoon-woo quickly changed the subject because he thought he’d ruined the atmosphere for a moment, but he noticed that Hye-rim and Ji-eun understood what he meant.

If you’re jealous of Riley for her parents who searched for her all day long, Yoon-woo grew up with parents who didn’t love or cared for him. They won’t even search for him if he disappears.

‘Oh, I thought it was weird to see a kid like that moving around alone on campus.’

In particular, Ji-eun, who watched the same movie 10 times, quickly understood what kind of character Yoon-woo had because of what he just said.

The moving point of the movie Inside Out is usually to form a sense of sympathy through a girl named Riley.

The audience suddenly immerse themselves into a girl named Riley, who is thrown into an unfamiliar environment.

Young Riley, who can’t adapt to changes, is driven by fear or anger, but overcomes pain among those who recognize and love her. The purity of a child that is forced to be abandoned in the process.

So, the audience relive the value of sad emotions mixed between their happy memories and recall their precious people who shared the moment of sadness.

What about Yoon-woo? Yoon-woo cannot relate with the character named Riley.

He envies Riley… He couldn’t even find a fragment of himself in the character Riley.

So, Yoon-woo was left out of the movie from the beginning to the end.

His heart ached while watching the family hugging Riley and felt envy for that moment.

Yoon-woo didn’t cry because of the plot of the movie. Perhaps, he cried because he was so sad that he could not be a part of the movie. He couldn’t relate to the character Riley.

Ji-eun, who had been on bad terms with her father since she was young, seemed to understand Yoon-woo’s pain a little.

Ji-eun: “Hey, I think we should go for drinks.”

Yoon-woo: “Noona……please…….”

Hye-rim: “Unnie, we have a class tomorrow morning.”

Yoon-woo: “I’m in first class, too.”

Ji-eun: “Oh, my.”

Ji-eun: “Then let’s go?”

Hye-rim: “What do you mean? Did you not understand what we just said?”

Ji-eun: “I mean shouldn’t we have at least dinner since we haven’t had anything to eat today? Wouldn’t that be okay?”

Hye-rim: “Are your grades good? I’ve never seen you attend the first period since college started.”

Ji-eun: “Ha……Coward Cho Hye-rim! How can you give me a low blow like that?“

Hye-rim: “Hmm… What should we eat then? Yoon-woo, what do you want to eat?”

Yoon-woo: “I…… I don’t..”

Actually, Yoon-woo wanted to go home.

I was embarrassed after crying in front of girls. And, no matter how much Bunny gave me, I didn’t intend to use it, so I wanted to cut back on spending.

Ji-eun: “Oh, then do you want to go to my house?”

Ji-eun said.

Hye-rim: “Huh? You told me that your house is a mess. And ….. you had your clothes hanging out, too.”

Ji-eun: “I cleaned up when I came out. It’s okay. What I cooked in the morning was left in the rice cooker. I’ll make you a curry.”

Hye-rim: “Can you cook, too?”

Ji-eun: “Hye-rim.”

Hye-rim: “Huh?”

Ji-eun: “People who drink alone at home have no choice but to be good at cooking. Do you know why?”

Hye-rim: “Well…… because you need some food?”

Ji-eun: “You know it well.”

“…….”

Ji-eun: “I’ve learnt a lot while watching Park Jong-won’s cooking methods. Do you like milk curry?”

Ji-eun: “How about Yoon-woo? Would that be okay for you?”

Yoon-woo: “But wouldn’t it be weird to go into an apartment where a woman lives alone? I’m just going to…….”

Ji-eun: “Yoon-woo.”

Yoon-woo: “Huh?”

Ji-eun: “You’re going to run away when I’m going to cook for you with all my efforts in my house? What? A woman’s apartment? Do you see me as a woman by any chance? Were you looking at me like that?”

Yoon-woo: “Oh…… that’s not what I meant. I’m sorry. Then should we get some ingredients?”

Ji-eun: “What… don’t you see me as a woman? Yoon-woo, are you ignoring me because I act like a kid?”

Ji-eun spoke in a sulky voice. I don’t know how to answer that.

Hye-rim: “Stop teasing Yoon-woo and let’s go. Do you need any ingredients?”

Ji-eun: “There are a lot of extra ingredients. I think it’s going to rot soon because I keep getting food delivered. Only the onions are needed…… Anyway, let’s enjoy it.”

Hye-rim: “Were you thinking of taking me to your house for dinner from the beginning? You don’t usually clean your room.”

Ji-eun: “No, at first, I was going to drink outside and go in. But I thought you wouldn’t let me drink it. This is the next best thing.”

Hye-rim: “I won’t let you drink at home.”

Ji-eun: “Why the hell?! It’s my house.… Hye-rim, I’ll give you vodka. Let’s drink together. Huh? Or tequila? Or do you like Chinese alcohol?”

Hye-rim: “How many kinds of drinks do you have? It’s because I’m worried about your health. Increase the number of days you don’t drink.”

Ji-eun: “Ok, but as soon as you go back…….”

Hye-rim: “As expected, I should take the alcohol to my house. I’ll give you one bottle every month.”

Ji-eun: “As soon as you leave! I was going to wash up and go to bed early. I was going to. Really…….”

After arriving at Ji-eun’s house, Yoon-woo was surprised for three reasons.

First of all, I saw the fact that Ji-eun lived alone in a spacious and nice apartment, secondly I saw the mountain of empty bottles in the corner, and thirdly I saw all kinds of alcohol in the refrigerator and cupboard.

“You live in a very nice house. Why do you keep empty bottles when it’s house is so neat?

“I like to keep it rather than throwing it away.”

“Unnie……what the hell…… the last time I came here, it wasn’t even half of this? Besides, they’re all alcohol bottles.”

“Uh. I don’t get drunk with low alcohol these days. It’s not all liquor. There’s also Chinese alcohol. That’s a real thing over there, it’s called Mao-tai……”

“Where did you get all the money for this?”

“I got most of these from the allowance I get as with cosmetics I’m not making much these days but overall I can get this much alcohol.”

“So, you really spent all your money on alcohol?”

“No, there’s still some left.”

“Wow… What should I do with my Unnie?”

“What do you mean? The only way to cut back on alcohol is to drink!”

Without answering Ji-eun’s words, Hye-rim quietly took out her smartphone and began to take pictures of her surroundings.

“Hye-rim? Why are you filming that?”

“I’m going to send it to my Unnie’s parents.”

“Come on, you are kidding. You don’t even have my parents’ contact information.”

“…….”

“You don’t know, do you? ……Hey, Hye-rim. You don’t know, do you?”

“Your father’s name is Yoo, Crown Prince, Junza, right?”

“What? How do you know? Hye-rim… You’re not going to send him the video, are you? Hye-rim?”

But Hye-rim did not answer.