Paranoid Love Affair - Chapter 19

‘Calm down… … calm down… … .’

Ji-eun, who entered the ‘Understanding of literature’ class, tried to regain her composure, but her pounding heart was not easily calmed.

Because the more she tried to forget, the clearer it came to her mind.

Yoon-woo’s soft voice rang in her ears. Yoon-woo’s tight arms hugging her head to save her from falling, the warm body temperature she felt in those arms… … .

Since she was a child, Ji-eun has been living her life by suppressing her greed for a relationship.

It’s because she’d rather be just a pleasant friend. If she’s serious about someone and she’s treated like a kid, she would get hurt.

Most of the men who showed interest in her were not very serious.

People who approached her to flirt tended to regard her as an easygoing partner.

Ji-eun had guessed that they would think, ‘I think it would be fun to date her, but I don’t want to put so much effort into her’.

Because the attitudes of those who approached Ji-eun and those who approached Hye-rim were completely different.

Ji-eun didn’t want to be treated like a spare wheel.

Ji-eun was not thirsty for romance to the extent that she’d bend her pride and have a serious relationship with a person who didn’t like her.

Or, she has lived her life, convincing herself that she is not thirsty.

There are many things in the world to have fun with even if you don’t have a relationship.

There were people who were interested in Ji-eun’s youthful voice when chatting while playing online games, but she never wanted to show them her real self.

Hearing her voice, the image of Ji-eun they imagined and the appearance of Ji-eun in reality are very different.

Maybe Hye-rim and Ji-eun are of different races?

So, isn’t it possible that the aspects of a relationship that can be done are set to be different? When she thinks deeply about that, her jealousy towards Hye-rim creeps up, and she compares what Hye-rim has with what she has one by one.

Then, as ink drops on the basin, her bright daily life is slowly colored dark, and her small heart filled with hate for her dad gets darker and she falls into a sense of self-doubt.

Her own self is enough for her life.

So, Ji-eun always worked hard to remove the ink in a hurry.

Drinking alcohol was a very effective means of removing ink.

The kind of love that Hye-rim receives from people… … It’s not necessarily needed for her life.

Even if she turns around and becomes a fox, muttering that the grapes opened at a height out of her reach must be sour and wither, it was better if she could still maintain good relationships with Hye-rim and others and live happily.

If she lives concentrating on the pleasure in front of her, she can live happily enough.

There is no need to reflect on the things that she did not have.

However, it was Lee Yun-woo’s existence that shook Ji-eun’s heart.

When she got to drink with Hye-rim and Yoon-woo, Ji-eun thought she just had to drink whatever came to her mouth while drinking, as she always does, without thinking.

If you put Hye-rim and Ji-eun, who are sitting side by side, in front of you anyway, people’s eyes will all turn to Hye-rim, and the topic of conversation will revolve around Hye-rim.

Otherwise, if there are people who pay attention to Ji-eun, wouldn’t it be that they are perverts?

Those guys didn’t take her seriously either.

However, Yoon-woo Lee was a completely different person from Ji-eun’s expectations.

Her favorite TV program is Animal Ranch, which airs every Sunday morning.

Tears welled up in the corners of her eyes when she saw a scene where an abandoned dog, who was injured physically and mentally, was rescued after running away from human touch.

This weak man seemed anxious even on the outside that he’s in a situation like someone would trick him and grab him soon. And, he looked isolated as if no one could touch him.

Even though she had to go to Hye-rim’s house every day because of Hye-rim’s uproar, it was ridiculous to see Yoon-woo trying to run away after eating the food.

Is there a man who draws a line like this on Hye-rim… … .

On the contrary, Yoon-woo seemed more comfortable with me than with Hye-rim.

Yoon-woo, who picked up the salad with chopsticks and put it in Ji-eun’s mouth… …

There is no way an abandoned puppy can find its owner.

Whoever rescues them first and adopts them is the owner.

Perhaps, if Ji-eun behaves well, there is a possibility that Yoon-woo will like her rather than Hye-rim?

If Yoon-woo likes shorty Ji-eun instead of the perfect Hye-rim who has everything… … .

If he hugged her from behind like before, and whispered words that he would never have said to anyone, words that he had never heard from anyone, only whispered in her ear… … .

‘Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah ‘

Ji-eun grabbed her hair and contemplated. Unfortunately, Ji-eun’s appearance and that gesture stood out in front of the professor.

“Student Yoo Ji-eun? What do you have to say?”

“Yes, yes?”

“Student, is there something you don’t understand? What’s wrong?”

“Ah? uh… … I was wondering why Jangseung suddenly appeared in this part… … .”

Ji-eun picked up a few sentences and said in a hurry.

It was a strange sentence saying that a Jangseung was in the man’s hand.

“Oh, that’s a good question. I’ll try to explain. Usually, I don’t think of this as important and just skip it, but I think Ji-eun has a great literary sensibility.”

“Yes? Uh… … thank you.”

“This Jangseung is a symbol of incest. Unfathomable love! By comparing the wish of incest hidden in a man’s heart to this symbol… … .”

‘What the hell is this class? Why are sexual relations here? What? Unfathomable love? Ughh… … .’

Korean modern literature is so incomprehensible.

When I was in high school, I laughed at the literature class for exams that asked for the correct answer, saying that there are no fixed answers in literature, but it was better back then.

When I came to college, I realized that the literary works that appear in the high school exams are relatively easy and there are only collections of things that cannot be understood easily now.

There are all sorts of weird symbols, and all sorts of crazy interpretations of them.

Class ended a little earlier than on time, but I wanted to see Yoon-woo’s face one more time, so I hung around his class nearby.

It was because I thought it would be beneficial if I could get a chance to see Yoon-woo by waiting only a few minutes.

After waiting for about five minutes, Yoon-woo’s class was over and the students came out of the classroom.

I struggled to find Yoon-woo and say hello, but a junior who I only vaguely remember the name of intervened.

It seemed that she was anxious to take Yoon-woo to a drinking party.

It was embarrassing to try to use her for that.

I’ve been waiting as long as I can and I’m saying hello to Yoon-woo, but you interrupted me… … She is so grumpy and she told Saebyeol that Yoon-woo had a girlfriend.

‘Could it be with you, senior and Lee Yoon-woo… … .’

‘No, not me. Don’t you call me ‘ a cute kid’?’

Saying such a thing made my heart hurt.

However, after Saebyeol went away, what Yoon-woo said was surprising.

‘It was difficult for them to keep asking without even wanting me to come anyway.’

It was an inconsistent sentence. But, it was a dangerous remark that could harm him if Saebyul heard it.

Didn’t you even see Saebyeol’s expression wrinkled?

I don’t know how Yoon-woo sees the world around him.

The world Yoon-woo sees might be a world full of enemies, like the world in a zombie movie.

If so, Yoon-woo would be the most suspicious character who always appears in such a movie.

A person who is so frightened that he will aim the gun first at anyone who has crossed the fence without checking if it’s a zombie or not.

But at some point, luckily, Ji-eun followed the reckless Hye-rim and sneaked into Yoon-woo’s fence.

I even felt a sense of superiority at the thought that maybe I was the only person in the economics department who could talk to Yoon-woo.

‘I hate to eat salad, but I can’t help it because Yun-woo asked me to come… …’

With that thought in mind, Ji-eun, who finished her last class, headed to Hye-rim’s house.

“I thought you would run away, did you come? Did you start liking vegetables now?”

“Eww… … No, I… … Huh… … I think so.”

“Thank God. So, will unnie be eating at my house everyday now? I will continue to buy salads for you too. So, you have to come, ok?”

“Ugh… … I must eat it? … … Am I still going to eat that on the weekend?”

“Yeah, I’ll take a look at the arrangement. Thank God. Now, I’ll have to worry less for your health.”

The more she met Hye-rim, the more she realized that she was a good girl, but her affections tended to be heavy.

Hye-rim’s affection was like a spider’s web, and once she gets caught, it’s hard for her to get out.

The problem was that Hye-rim’s actions all come from good intentions.

On the days she just wanted to drink and die, she was annoyed when Hye-rim meddled with her and stopped her from drinking.

But she’s worried about her, so how can she get angry?

“That’s right, I’m glad that the noona didn’t hate the vegetables and ate it.”

Yoon-woo, who was weak in asserting himself, is also secretly supportive about eating the vegetables.

Why are they so anxious about me not eating vegetables? Eating doesn’t make you taller.

“Huh… … Vegetables. Yeah… … .”

Ji-eun decided to just let it all go now.

“But Hye-rim, I like tofu. But, when I went to the supermarket, tofu was expensive… … .would it stress our budget or can we buy it?”

Yoon-woo asked Hye-rim.

“It’s sold at the traditional market and it’s the same when you buy at a supermarket or convenience store. It’s a short walk away from home and it’s sold cheaply.”

“Is that so? I thought that the traditional market was a bit inferior and expensive.”

“It’s only for fruits. There is a grandmother who makes tofu at the entrance of the market and sells it very cheaply. It’s less than half the price of the supermarket, but it’s a bit firmer and delicious. There is a problem that she doesn’t sell in large quantities like the supermarket, and she also comes with her granddaughter often”

“I see. Hye-rim spends money really wisely. Thanks. I will eat well.”

“Huh, is that so? Am I a little thrifty?”

‘What? What kind of couple are you guys?’

Ji-eun would normally laugh and talk about nothing, but today, that was not the case.

As she listened to the friendly conversation between Yoon-woo and Hye-rim, the emotions that she had suppressed until now became thorns and stabbed her in the chest.

Because she had never been truly upset by the fact that she didn’t have what Hye-rim had. But Yoon-woo… … .

Hye-rim gets so much attention from everyone, and she even has Yoon-woo… … .

Are the words Yoon-woo says to Hye-rim only a compliment?

Or is it a sincere affection?

If Yoon-woo and Hye-rim start dating, how should Ji-eun feel when she meets them?

Ji-eun, who became impatient at such thoughts, stopped, and she inadvertently spit out the things she had only thought about before.

“Hey there, Yoon-woo. What are you doing on Friday evening?”

“Huh? Tomorrow? I’m going to eat here, why do you ask?”

“Why don’t you eat lamb skewers with me? In addition to classical economics classes, you agreed to help with Korean economic history. I feel sorry for you though.”

“No, you don’t have to worry about it. Last week, noona bought me a drink and showed me a movie.”

“No, Yoon-woo.That’s not fair trade.”

“Huh? Fair trade? What trade?”

“It depends on the class, but if you hand over all the notes until the progress of the exam, you usually get 30,000 to 50,000 won, right? In particular, classes that do not have textbooks and are difficult to take notes are expensive. By the way, Yoon-woo gave me two four-week classes’ notes, right?”

“Uh… … . Is it that expensive? Then, it’s easy for outsiders to live easily.”

In fact, the writing price is a phrase made up by Ji-eun.

I don’t know, but would it be that much?

Hearing from Hye-rim how burdened Yoon-woo feels, she thought hard in her head how to persuade him earlier.

Of course, thinking about it, she didn’t know if she was really going to spit it out… … .

“No, it’s not like that. How could I be the one who borrowed handwritten notes from a junior and not repay? How would I feel at ease? So, feel free to eat lamb skewers once.”

And, coincidentally, Ji-eun’s method of persuasion worked very well for Yoon-woo.

Yoon-woo, who had in mind how much he had to repay Ji-eun, heard the price of writing from Ji-eun, and was relieved to know that he had already paid off the debt he owed to Ji-eun with his labor.

In addition, I sympathized with Ji-eun because she felt uncomfortable with debt.

“I see… … . Then I’ll come. Actually, this will be my first time eating lamb skewers.”

“Okay? Then, that’s decided. The place will be in a nice place on top of the building right next to Anam Station. It’s really delicious eating there. It is relatively quiet because it doesn’t have many rooms and it’s not a place where many students come. Let’s go there.”

“Okay. My class ends at 5 on Friday, what about Hye-rim?”

“Uh, Hye-rim?”

Ji-eun didn’t think of this.

Yoon-woo and Hye-rim decided to continue to work out meals together, so if they had to get our meals elsewhere, of course, he would ask Hye-rim what to do with her meals. She was too mind-boggled with this situation.

‘Hey, when I only mentioned him to come, I was blatantly saying that I wanted to see him only. But, he asked Hye-rim if she wishes to eat also? Eww… … Yoon-woo is crazy… … This asshole… … .’

“Okay, let’s go eat together with unnie.”

“… … Uh? Hye-rim, why?”

Ji-eun, surprised by her unexpected reaction, asked Hye-rim.

“It’s to take care of you. I’m afraid you will get drunk and buy shares for me by calculating. But, if I’m there, I can prevent that, right? Save some money for now. You have used up all the stock profits.”

When she gets drunk, she says because it was Ji-eun’s drinking habit that she was trying to calculate and invest some stocks and shares.

She usually resented her own drinking habits, but not this time.

“Ah, okay. But, You don’t have to come. I’ll only have a little drink with Yoon-woo.”

“Uh? alcohol? Were we drinking?”

Yoon-woo asks, bewildered.

“Huh? If you’re not going to drink, why would you eat lamb skewers?”

“… … It’s not that much, but lamb skewers are delicious when eaten as a side dish. I admit it too.”

“Hye-rim, you too? I see. Lamb skewers are usually eaten with alcohol.”

“Of course. Eating skewers means drinking alcohol, so you have to remember it, ok?”

“I see. I will remember it.”

Of course, there are some people who only eat skewers without alcohol, but there are probably unavoidable circumstances for such a person.

Missing half of the liver, resection of the stomach, missing one kidney, or something.

In the end, Ji-eun made a plan to meet at 5 pm on Friday, just in time for Yoon-woo’s class to end.

While holding her appointment, Ji-eun looked at Hye-rim’s complexion, but she did not feel angry or sad.

‘Can’t you fall for noona, Yoon-woo?’

It’s just the two of us drinking alcohol, and college students do it casually.

It does not necessarily have to be accompanied by special emotions.

This time, there is also a plausible justification of giving back for helping the class.

So, Hye-rim may be trusting Ji-eun like a rock.

However, since Ji-eun’s intention to buy Yoon-woo lamb skewers was not purely to repay him for providing her notes, her guilt weighed down on Ji-eun’s chest.

‘Ah. … I do not know. What’s so special about this… … .’

She just decided not to think of anything.

Just because she has a black heart, she doesn’t intend to lure Yoon-woo to a motel by turning him into a gangster, and even if she has such a plan, it doesn’t seem like Yoon-woo will be enticed.

When you are in trouble, just drink and talk.

Then they parted and each went home… … . Meanwhile, she thought it would be nice to get to know him a little bit more.

What’s wrong with that?

When she goes home after drinking and talks like a fool, she is the most confident in herself. So, she wondered if he would be like that, too.

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