Paranoid Love Affair - Chapter 28

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“Huh? Just eat this one… … . I can’t eat them now… … . It must have been because I ate your cheese sticks.”

Yoon-woo had no desire to put anything in his mouth.

I felt a little better than before, but I was worried that I might vomit again after eating.

“I… … . It’s okay. Just wrap it up and I will give it to Hyerim.”

“No! Hyerim says she’s dieting really hard , so she told me not to brag about what I eat! She told me not to bring any sweets or bread into the house… … . Hyerim really likes things like this. So you have no choice but to eat it, okay? It also isn’t worth throwing away, is it? And you also don’t seem to have any energy because of the hangover, so eat this and get well soon! By eating food that includes sugar, especially sweets, you quickly get energy to do tasks… … .”

I didn’t want to eat it, but it was also uncomfortable to refuse Ji-eun’s words.

Yoon-woo thought he had done too many things wrong with Ji-eun.

If I refuse to eat, Ji-eun will think, ‘This bastard was drinking and making a fuss, so I suffered a lot, but he doesn’t eat any of these things, really… … .’

Now that the bunny has turned away from Yoon-woo, who said she loved him to death over the phone, he felt like he was pushed to the edge of a cliff.

The image of Saebyul, whom he had thought of as insignificant before, turning away coldly, was also dazzling.

It seemed like he couldn’t stand being hated by anyone anymore.

Even if someone doesn’t like me, I hope they don’t hate me.

“Thanks. I will eat well.”

When I bit the crispy surface of the cream puff, the cream inside overflowed.

However, Yoon-woo felt the oily taste of the cream in his mouth strangely disgusting. So, he quickly took a bite and swallowed the other half, chewing and drying out.

“How is it? Does it taste good?”

“Yeah, it’s delicious.”

Seeing Ji-eun’s smiling face, I was worried that I might vomit in front of that smiling face.

And because of that anxious mind, I felt like I was going to get nausea again.

This is called self-fulfilling prediction.

Prediction itself produces results as predicted.

“Look! You got the cream on your lips too! Is it because it’s hard to eat this clean in the first place? I’m not particularly bad at eating though.”

Saying that, Ji-eun held out a napkin to Yoon-woo.

I guess I got it in my mouth because I was concentrating on not throwing up.

However, when Yoon-woo tried to grab the napkin that Ji-eun had handed him, Ji-eun playfully avoided her hand.

There were no other napkins left on the tray. When he lifted his head and looked at Ji-eun, she was smiling mischievously.

“… … What are you doing?”

“I’ll wipe it off. Put your hands away.”

“Uh? … … It would be embarrassing.”

“I was shy back then, too. So, let’s do it to each other.”

“… …Sorry. But, it’s just… … .”

“Oh, put your hands away.”

Ji-eun stopped Yoon-woo’s hand, who was embarrassed and was just trying to wipe his mouth with his hand.

She then reached out her hand and wiped Yoon-woo’s mouth with a napkin.

I could feel Ji-eun’s slender fingers moving over my lips.

At first, Yoon-woo thought that Ji-eun had long arms and legs for her height. But, she certainly had short arms, since her hips were off the chair to reach his lips.

When he saw Ji-eun trying to wipe her mouth while trying her best, he remembered Ji-eun who told Hyerim that he was also her close junior and friend.

Maybe she really thinks of me as a real close friend, not a nominal friend?

No. My shameless and weak heart, who has no place to lean on now, is looking for another place to depend on.

Even if he finds someone to lean on, it wouldn’t be her. She’s always Ji-eun, an insider. What does she regret about someone like Yoon-woo? Why does she want to be friends with Yoon-woo?

She is a kind person to everyone.

If she puts her mind to it, she will be able to talk happily even with the bakery clerk at the counter over there right now.

Does that mean Ji-eun considers the bakery clerk to be her friend?

Yoon-woo is also just an extra passing by for a moment in Ji-eun’s life.

Yoon-woo’s role in Ji-eun’s life will be less than that of the janitor who dies as soon as the movie starts, to let him know that even at the beginning of the movie, there is no place for him.

‘If Yoon-woo says he wants to die, does he think that she will say that she wants to die, too?’

What would happen if Yoon-woo actually said that to Ji-eun? Will she reply like Bunny?

‘Sister, I’m actually planning to commit suicide soon.’

‘Uh? … … But why are you telling me that? How about going to the hospital?’

A realistic response would be that.

‘What do I have to do?’

‘Comfort him?’

‘Encourage him?’

‘Why are you saying this to me?’

‘Why tell me something creepy… … .’

A normal person would only think that way.

The problem Yoon-woo has is a problem that he has to fully embrace by himself.

No one wants to talk to Yoon-woo, and no one wants to hear such annoying things.

People like Yoon-woo should always think about good things before talking to others.

A story that the other person will like, or a story that will benefit the other person.

But what if you can’t? It’s best to just keep your mouth shut.

“Yoon-woo… … . Have you got everything you studied?”

“Roughly.”

In fact, none. I don’t think I can study anymore today.

“Then why don’t you take a walk with me? Isn’t it 11 now? There’s nothing for me to do. So, I have to digest the food that I ate before we go to Hyerim’s home… … .”

It was an unusual time for Yoon-woo to go back to his room and come out again.

Is it because of crumbs of anticipation that clings to the wall of Yoon-woo’s mind and does not fall off, or is it because of lethargy caused by disappointment?

“Huh? Let’s go, I’m also bored if I go alone… … .”

“Yeah, then.”

Although there was still no strength in his limbs, Yoon-woo barely got up from the sense of duty not to reject Ji-eun’s words.

Fortunately, Ji-eun is not a person who talks to Yoon-woo a lot.

So, it’s not difficult for Yoon-woo to get a proper walk with her.

Wouldn’t it be possible to forget the feeling of vomiting while walking and concentrating on listening to Ji-eun’s loud voice, even if it was windy?

In fact, compared to how fast Ji-eun spoke, her voice was on the small side, and because of the height difference between Yoon-woo and Ji-eun, it was necessary to concentrate quite a bit to understand Ji-eun words while walking.

However, as he followed Ji-eun out of the bakery, a scene suddenly came to his mind.

Ji-eun’s small back was familiar.

I think I’ve never seen someone put their arms on her little shoulders.

But, I think I put my weight on that arm on the day that I got drunk.

It seems that I relied on that small, weak girl who seemed to have no power as her height.

“Noona, you know… … .”

“Huh?”

“Perhaps… … . When I was drunk , I put my hand on your shoulder… … .”

“Uh? Do you remember?”

“Really? … … What did I do? I’m sorry. Really… … .”

“Hey, what are you sorry for? I already said you did nothing wrong.”

“Nevertheless, I got drunk and did that to noona… Ah… … .”

“Ah! It’s okay! What is that… … . If the juniors get drunk and dizzy, the seniors can support them too!”

“Sorry. I’m really sorry.”

“I don’t mind that, haven’t I already said that already? It was rather fun! I can’t carry other juniors on most drinking parties… … because I was treated like a kid… … . Even when someone was drunk, no one would lean on me. Usually another big guy takes them.”

“It must have been difficult. I must have been heavy… … . It would have smelled like alcohol and would have been unpleasant… … .”

“Nope! It wasn’t heavy at all. You even need to eat some more. And I must have smelled like alcohol too, but what do you mean an unpleasant thing? Rather than being offended, I even… … . Hmm, anyway, you don’t have to worry about it !”

“Thank you, noona. Is there anything I can do for you?”

“What can you do for me?… Hmm…That’s right, study notes. Write it down and organize it neatly and send it to me, hehe.”

“Okay. I’ll do my best to sort it out.”

“No, I only just said it, you don’t have to organize it. Thank you for showing me. Just send me what you wrote.”

“Okay.”

As expected, Yoon-woo, who drank alcohol, made a big mistake.

Even if there is a report and he is referred to the disciplinary committee, there would be nothing to say. But, no report means it is probably because Jieun has a good personality.

Because of the writing, Ji-eun put a lot of effort into carrying me. But, I can’t give her with only my writing.

I will have to organize them with all my heart and soul so that she can take the test just by looking at Yoon-woo’s notes.

“By the way, where are we going? Are we only gonna walk like this? Or do you want to go to school?”

“Where does noona want to go?”

“So, you have no opinion… … . Oh, shall we go to the squirrel road and see the cats?”

“OK.”

The side road, nicknamed Squirrel Road because squirrels roamed around. But, it is difficult to see squirrels because cats were squatting and living around most of the time. Only on some days, you can see squirrels often.

Since then, there has been a house for cats nearby.

It seems like the student council did something to protect the cats, but I wasn’t interested at that time, so I didn’t know who made it exactly. If there are cats and even cat houses, I wonder if we should start calling it the cat road, not the squirrel road.

Cats on Squirrel road do not run away even when people approach them.

Because college students often give some meat and cans of tuna. They show affection to people when they are hungry.

Sometimes, they suddenly jump between people’s legs and rub their backs, but when people try to touch them, they avoid it, so it seems like they just do it when their backs are itchy.

Every time Yoon-woo passed this road, it was the day where he went to take a class at the management office. And, he also wanted to play with the cats, but he couldn’t get to them because they were so popular.

Still, today, a holiday when there are no people, can I touch them?

Then, I might feel really good.

Like the stray cats that played with Yoon-woo when he was kicked out of the house, the cats on Squirrel Street may comfort him.

But today, for some reason, even those cats went to play somewhere and were not there.

There were days like that, but I guess that’s today… … .

“Hey… … . where did they go?… … .”

“I’m sorry, Yoon-woo.”

“What to do? There’s still quite a bit of time left until 12 o’clock, but I’m hungry… … .”

“Would you like to walk more?”

“Unlike you, I have short legs, so even walking this much is already difficult… … .”

“Oh sorry… … . then… … .”

“Then, shall we go to coin karaoke? There would be no one there now. It’s two songs for 500 won, so should we sing one song at a time? If you have time, let’s go together.”

“Coin karaoke?! That’s a bit… … .”

“Why? Yoon-woo has a good voice, so I think you’ll be good at singing too, right?”

“Uh? my voice… … .”

“Do you know any Sung Si-kyung or Kim Dong-ryul songs? I think that kind of song and your voice would fit… … .”

It was strange to give concrete examples rather than sarcastic remarks to his voice, so Yoon-woo was confused.

Obviously, Ji-eun avoided Yoon-woo’s voice because she didn’t like it… … .

“I know that, but I can’t sing well.”

“What song do you usually sing? Have you ever been to a coin karaoke bar?”

“Go about once a week. I usually sing about one or two songs. And, I don’t sing too loud.”

“Oh, that would be good too. Surprisingly, it reduces quite a lot of stress, doesn’t it? Do you have any other hobbies besides this? Thank God. I was wondering what kind of fun you have in your free time. I wonder if it’s because you’re playing dead at home… … .”

“Playing dead… …Well.. I..”

The reason Yoon-woo went to a coin karaoke room was to do laundry.

Even though he was determined to save money, Yoon-woo used the coin laundry, not the drum washing machine in his room, for several reasons.

First, the drum washing machine in the room didn’t perform very well, so even after adding an appropriate amount of detergent, the detergent was often clumped in the corners and remained on the clothes.

And even if it wasn’t, the musty smell remained and it seemed that the washing was not done properly.

But the biggest reason is… … .

It’s because Yoon-woo couldn’t contain his anxiety when he saw the washing machine running.

In particular, he couldn’t stand the sight of the small and cramped drum washing machine in his room spinning and the sound it made while turning.

I didn’t even like the process of loading and unloading laundry in that small washing machine.

The coin laundry’s washing machine was large. So, I can endure it a little bit.

So, Yoon-woo always goes to a coin laundry a little far from his room to do his laundry, then comes back and hangs it on the rooftop laundry drying rack.

The coin laundry also had a dryer, but I didn’t use it because it was much more expensive to use the dryer than the washing machine.

After washing at the coin laundry and drying on the rooftop, the next day at lunch time, the sun-dried clothes were much cleaner and smelled better than when I washed them in a drum washing machine.

However, the problem was that even the coin laundry washing machine was running for about 20 minutes and I didn’t know what to do in the meantime.

Yoon-woo feels very pressured by the sight and sound of the washing machine, so he wants to return to the laundry exactly at the exact time the washing machine stops.

The laundry had Wi-Fi and even had a chair and desk to wait for, but I didn’t want to sit in a place with 7 washing machines.

However, the waiting time for laundry was an ambiguous time for taking a walk or returning home, so Yoon-woo just wandered around the laundry without any meaning.

Then, one day, he found a bearded man wearing a t-shirt and shorts and dragging three-striped slippers into a coin karaoke room alone.

Seeing that he was walking from the science and engineering campus, I thought he might be a graduate student in science and engineering.

Until then, I thought that karaoke was a place that only insiders went and people like me were not allowed to enter, but seeing such a person entering, I became interested. Also, it was inconvenient for a 500 won coin to limp in my pocket after changing bills to coins at a coin laundry.

He thought it would be okay to spend an extra 500 won a week.

Contrary to Yoon-woo’s prejudice that karaoke was a place where insiders laughed and chatted, coin karaoke was rather a space for people like Yoon-woo.

As long as the door was closed properly, no one cared about him, and Yoon-woo’s voice did not leak out.

So, it was a space where I could satisfy the desire to have a voice that I felt when I was alone.

Maybe it was because of the echo of the microphone, or the echo in a cramped space, it felt like his own voice sounded pretty good in a coin karaoke room.

I liked that the coin karaoke room near the laundry was far from Anam Station, so there weren’t many people at the karaoke.

In the end, for Yoon-woo, the day of doing laundry became a day to go to a coin karaoke room.

“Anyway, that’s fine. Let’s go over there by the back door.”

“Uh, but I’m not very good at singing… … . That wouldn’t be good to hear… … .”

“Hey, don’t worry about that. I’m going to digest the food anyway. Actually, going drunk and singing is the most fun. Then you won’t be shy and you will feel like you can sing better for nothing.”

Yoon-woo has a complex voice, so there is a reason to worry about it when they’re going to sing by taking turns.

But, he also thought that if it was Ji-eun, she wouldn’t really care.

No matter what Ji-eun thinks of Yoon-woo, it is because Jieun has already heard Yoon-woo’s voice enough to hear Yoon-woo’s singing and has experienced all the ugliness that Yoon-woo caused while intoxicating with his voice.

Even so, the suggestion to go to a coin karaoke room together means that she is mentally prepared to handle the situation.

Or maybe she wants to laugh and enjoy how weird Yoon-woo’s voice is.

‘Listen, I’ve been recording a song sung by Lee Yoon-woo, don’t you guys want to listen?’

Thinking like that, I remembered Ji-eun, who had Yoon-woo as a side friend for drinks with her friends.

But he owes a lot to Ji-eun.

Even if Ji-eun wants Yoon-woo to be a joke, Yoon-woo has no choice but to follow it.

I experienced that a lot when I was in elementary school.

The only way to deal with people making fun of Yoon-woo was to just let them tease him.

It’s a scene people really want to see, where Yoon-woo, who struggles to avoid being teased and not to be laughed at.

And above all, I am tired of thinking about that now.

I don’t have the strength to think about what the other person’s intentions are and how to protect my heart from people.

Let’s just let it go.

When I’ve done everything that Ji-eun and Hyerim wanted, I want to go to my room, swallow my medicine, and go to bed.

I can’t even go to the laundry today because I bought a gift card with the cash I have anyway.

“OK. I got it.”

“Then let’s go! Ah, I’m tired… … I came all the way here. But, I can’t even see a cat… … . Gosh… … . Yoon-woo-ya, take me with you.”

“Huh.”

“Hey… … I’m kidding… … . Do you have a thing that you don’t like? Like..do you like jokes… … .”

“…… .”

I followed Ji-eun, who was walking slowly. When she arrived at the coin karaoke room, it was 11:35.

As Ji-eun said, it was a Sunday, so there were a lot of empty rooms.

The coin karaoke room located at the front of the engineering university where the method was of entering the room directly and inserting coins, whereas the coin karaoke room at the back door of the university was like paying at the machine at the entrance and choosing a room.

When Yoon-woo tried to take out the card, Ji-eun said, ‘Okay, I’m the one who spoke up, so I’ll pay it. It’s 500 won.’ and she chose the room.

“Would you like to sing first?”

“No, I think you should think about what to sing first.”

“Then, can I sing first?”

“Huh.”

And, Ji-eun entered her number of songs without even searching.

It seems to be a song she often sings.

The song that Ji-eun chose was a song that Ji-eun would like.

“Do you want to build a snowman♬”

Yoon-woo, who heard Ji-eun’s song, immediately fell in love with her voice.

Of course, Ji-eun’s singing skills were excellent and it was a long song, but that wasn’t the reason.

She said that some of the people who sing well have a very different voice when they sing.

I think it’s because they give strength to their stomach, straighten their vocal cords, and sing in a completely different tone than usual.

It was like Ji-eun’s voice now.

Unlike her usual tone of speaking, where she chatted quickly and quietly, Ji-eun’s voice, reciting the lyrics softly to the quiet accompaniment, sounded too familiar to Yoon-woo.

Even considering that her voice is muffled by the karaoke echo, her voice was so similar to someone Yoon-woo knew.

‘Can I sing you a song? San~Rabbit♪ It’s a rabbit… … ’

With the lyrics getting faster and faster, Ji-eun’s song was perfect in English pronunciation, beat, high pitch processing, and even the main character’s lines that popped out in the middle of the song.

That’s why, after the song, Ji-eun had a proud expression on her face.

“How is it? Do you love it? I sing this song myself…. ….’’

“Bunny?”