Paranoid Love Affair - Chapter 29

“Huh? Bunny?”

Ji-eun asked with a puzzled expression. It was Yoon-woo’s mistake.

He was so embarrassed that his voice came out without him knowing.

It wouldn’t have happened if it was a normal Yoon-woo.

Unless someone urges him to answer quickly, Yoon-woo always speaks after thinking for a long time.

“Ah, no, I said noona sings really well. You are like a popular singer.”

“Huh, right? Ever since I saw this movie, I always sang this song every time I came to karaoke.”

Ji-eun’s voice and manner of speaking were the same as usual.

It was completely different from singing.

What happened?

Why does Ji-eun’s voice resemble a bunny so much?

Did Yoon-woo’s ears become deaf because he was nauseous?

Do you think bunny will suddenly appear because you want to hear her voice so much?

“I see… … .”

“Hey, Yoon-woo? Haven’t you made a reservation? Come on, choose.”

“I… … .”

Still, if Ji-eun is a bunny, it means that she is pretending so naturally.

If so, what is her intention?

Suppose Ji-eun is a bunny.

However, the bunny did not appear at the meeting place.

If that’s because she doesn’t like Yoon-woo, it doesn’t explain why Ji-eun, who doesn’t like being with Yoon-woo, recommended him for a walk and even brought him to a coin karaoke room.

Conversely, if she is someone who can accept Yoon-woo as Bunny said over the phone, she can just say that she is a bunny.… … .

Oh, wake up! That’s not it.

The possibility that Yoon-woo came up with was truly terrifying.

Yoon-woo thought that the bunny was an immature girl who grew up fantasizing about him on her own, but ran away in disappointment when she saw the real Yoon-woo.

However, even if it was due to a fantasy, I thought that the kindness and consideration shown to me in our conversations during the night was the real character of the bunny.

But suppose that image was built by someone like Ji-eun?

A person like Ji-eun can never be serious with a person like Yoon-woo.

What if the thought that bunny woke up all night because she was addicted to alcohol and games was wrong? But, instead, wouldn’t it be possible that she came home after a full day’s work and contacted Yoon-woo to make up for her boring night?
[ T/N: In this sentence, you can consider the word ‘bunny’ is Ji-eun since he is thinking if bunny is Ji-eun. ]

When Yoon-woo spends a lonely day alone, wouldn’t Ji-eun always have a good time with her pretty, cool, and cheerful friends?

When Yoon-woo took a sleeping pill and felt dazed and complained about people who disturbed his sleep by drinking and chatting outside, wouldn’t Ji-eun be mixed with the drinking and chattering crowd?

Until the bunny was there, Yoon-woo’s cell phone was just a good-looking watch that only received frequent calls from his parents that he didn’t want to attend.

But, it may be different for her. Maybe, before she went to sleep, Ji-eun would smile and look at her cell phone, and check who she was going to eat with tomorrow and who she has appointments with on the weekend.

If Ji-eun is a bunny… … .

If the loneliness that the bunny complained about was the brief emptiness she felt when she came home after breaking up with her friends… … .

The time in contact with the bunny was the most important time of the day for Yoon-woo, but for the bunny, the time with Yoon-woo must have been a very insignificant and light play time.

If Ji-eun was a rabbit, she already knew a human named Yoon-woo, and she wouldn’t do anything that would complicate her identity as a ‘bunny’.

Because Ji-eun already knew who Yoon-woo was.

There was no need for her to argue with Yoon-woo as he had already said that her mind was mistaken.

Still, considering he did something like that… … .

Ah….The conclusion is that our relationship was all a joke from the beginning.

She said that death is love, and that she really likes Yoon-woo was just playing with a stupid Yoon-woo.

Then, tired of listening to Yoon-woo’s clinging and whining, she finished playing as a bunny and appeared with Ji-eun’s face.

Yoon-woo, who is nothing more than a toy, is terrified of trying to have a really deep relationship with her, so she stops playing and meets him only as Jieun, who has only a superficial relationship with him.

“Why? Why are you looking at me like that? Aren’t you going to pick a song?”

“… … I’m sorry. I’ll choose right away.”

If you really think that Ji-eun is a rabbit… … . It seems that all the time I spent with the bunny for more than half a year so far is thrown into the trash.

Even if the bunny is not as kind and gentle as Yoon-woo thinks, it is okay.

Actually, it’s not that important.

What is really important is the fact that during that time, Yoon-woo was needed by someone, even for a moment.

Yoon-woo, at least for a time of the six-and-a-half years of meeting the bunny, maybe only a few minutes, he thought that the bunny needed Yun-woo.

At least, he believed that the bunny contributed a little to alleviating his loneliness by talking freely and releasing stress.

But what if it was built by a bunny only for her?

What if she is loved by everyone, and she has a mountain of people to talk to even if it’s not Yoon-woo?

Even during that long period of time, Yoon-woo had never been needed by anyone.

If I think so… … .

I don’t know.

There are many people who have similar voices.

And Ji-eun and Bunny have a very similar tone of voice.

Whatever it is, it’s already over.

Yoon-woo knows too little about bunny, and has lost the opportunity to know more about her.

What does it mean to Yoon-woo to not think about Bunny anymore?

All the incidents have passed, and all that is left is the remnants of Yoon-woo’s thoughts and memories with the bunny.

Yoon-woo did not want to think that he was deceived by the bunny.

In the meantime, he wanted to believe that the bunny Yoon-woo saw was the truth.

I hope that even Yoon-woo, created by the bunny’s fantasy, has been of some help to the bunny’s life.

The song Yoon-woo chose was a 12 minutes song called ‘I’m afraid of the dark today’. This song, which begins with the phrase “Today, I’m afraid to be alone, look out the window and hear the sound of the wind”, is a song that Yoon-woo sang for bunny at night. Bunny also woke up and listened to his song with earphones. It’s the song that I can sing freely.

Although he could relate to the lyrics about begging to be by your side with the reason that he was afraid of sleeping alone at night, he didn’t want to cling to someone to stay with him like the lyrics say.

Anyway, no matter what, no one will be by Yoon-woo’s side.

No one throws money into the beggar’s hat easily, so it is better to starve to death alone in a place no one knows about, than to beg with his head on the ground.

So that no one can recklessly sympathize with Yoon-woo… … So that no one knows how tragic Yoon-woo’s death is… … .

It was fortunate that the bunny was with Yoon-woo for a while.

But now there is no bunny.

Yoon-woo has to spend three years alone when the bunny doesn’t call.

But come to think of it, it wasn’t that difficult.

I used to live like that.

He endured both his father’s violence and his mother’s abusive language.

Of course, there will be a lot of empty seats in his mind without a bunny, but… … .

Take my medicine earlier than usual.

If I swallow the medicine around 9 o’clock when I start contacting the bunny, everything will be resolved.

Although it only increases your sleep time by an hour or so.

I wish I could have a good dream during that extended hour.

“What, Yoon-woo sings really well, … … . But why is your expression so bad? Are you still in bad shape? I wanted to sing more, but I can’t… … . Let’s go out right now.”

“Thanks. I’m fine, if you want more noona.. … .”

“No, let’s go. We have quite a bit of time left, so why don’t we go back to Hyerim’s home? It might be okay if you walk for a while.”

“Huh. OK”

Also, I don’t think Ji-eun, who is so caring, will pretend to be a bunny for the purpose of making fun of Yun-woo.

Ji-eun is a good person and bunny is a good person too.

Whether a person is a good person or a bad person, and whether that person likes or dislikes Yoon-woo, is another matter.

Good people are polite to Yoon-woo, but that doesn’t mean they like Yoon-woo.

“But the song Yoon-woo sang earlier, the lyrics… … . Why do I feel like you’re flirting with someone? Don’t you just go to sleep at your house after studies?… … If not… … .”

“Yes?”

“Are you… … . I mean when you go to karaoke with other people, do you usually sing songs like this?”

“I’ve never been with anyone else… … .”

“Oh, then… … . Am I the first again?”

“Huh.”

“… …Okay. Let’s come together again next time, coin karaoke.”

“Okay.”

“Shall we go to Hyerim’s place now? She’s not even sure where we are. Why don’t we go a little early? ’’

“Let’s do that.”

Seeing Ji-eun taking out her cell phone and chatting, Yoon-woo also took out his cell phone for a moment.

I was thinking of checking the time… … .

A notification popped up on the phone.

I thought it was a message Ji-eun sent to a group chat room with Hyerim, but it wasn’t.

The messages of kakaotalk sent to Yoon-woo were a gift rejection message and an order cancellation message.

Seeing the gift card Yoon-woo sent, the bunny must’ve clicked ‘reject the gift’.

It seems that she doesn’t even want to receive a present from Yoon-woo anymore.

If it was coming from Yoon-woo, even the favor would be offended.

Even the slightest possibility that the bunny might have gotten lost or had an accident that he thought before had disappeared.

Now it’s really all over.

“Why did you and Yoon-woo come in together? Were you two together again?”

As she entered Hyerim’s house, Hyerim asked Ji-eun.

Come to think of it, he had never come to Hyerim’s house with Ji-eun.

Ji-eun always arrives at Hyerim’s house first, and she rolls around on the bed.

“Uh? Ah… … . that is… … .”

“You decided not to lie now, did you?”

“… … We went to a karaoke room together… … .”

“Suddenly?! Only the two of you in that narrow space? Why?”

“I was hungry and ate a lot of things. So, I asked Yoon-woo to go karaoke to digest it. The two of us simply sang one song each.”

“Huh? Why are you hungry? Wait, what did you eat?”

“That… … . This is what you told me not to say. Wouldn’t it be better not to listen?”

“What? Did you eat with Yoon-woo too? Were the two of you eating something delicious? Oh, just say it quickly!”

“That… … . You said not to bring cookies or bread, right? So I went to Bordeaux Baguette in front of you and ate cream puffs. I’ve been thinking about cream puffs since last night, so I couldn’t take it anymore, so I came out a little early… … . Yoon-woo also happened to be sitting there, so we ate together.”

“Ah… … . Why… … .”

“Is it ok? Did you hear it clearly? What if I ask you if you secretly eat something like this and ask it so tenaciously, I wonder what your expression… … .”

“Why did you eat cream puffs? How much do I like cream puffs, don’t you know?… … .”

“So. Hyerim, are you a cream puff ghost? I tried to eat 8 this time, but I couldn’t. You were more than this last time… … .”

“Noona! Don’t talk about that in front of other people.”

“I’m sorry… … .”

“Oh my God… … . Because of you, I want to eat too!”

“So, just eat. Would eating one or two cause any major problems? I think I can eat one more after eating now.”

“Eww… … . Would it? Okay… … . There must be a cheat day… … .”

“Would you like to go and eat at Park Jun-ho’s Bakery? Again, the taste is completely different. Coffee is much tastier than Bordeaux Baguette, so let’s have a cup of coffee there. How is it? Are you also okay, Yoon-woo?”

“I’m fine… … .”

“Then, Yoon-woo! After that, if I take a break for an hour and then work out hard, I won’t gain weight, right?”

“Well then. of course. Eat it.”

Ji-eun continued to encourage Hye-rim.

He saw Hyerim cleaning cream puffs in an instant, and it seemed like it could not last long for Hyerim to share a diet like this with Yoon-woo.

Like before, Yoon-woo had no desire to eat cream puffs.

But, it is tiring to say no.

In particular, refusing to Hyerim consumes a lot of energy.

“I’ll only drink coffee then.”

“Uh? why? The cream puffs here are also delicious!”

“I just ate many… … .”

“It tastes different again!”

“Noona… … . Like us, Yoon-woo will have a hard time eating and eating again. I think he has a short mouth… … .”

“Is it? Maybe because he has no energy… … .”

“Yeah… … . Where does Yoon-woo hurt?”

“It’s okay. I’m just a little dizzy… … .”

“By the way, did Yoon-woo go home yesterday and eat dinner?”

“… … .”

“I told you to eat it! So, how long have you not eaten rice? Hurry up, eat first!”

The lunch menu that Hyerim cooked was smoked duck slices.

I wondered if this kind of menu was really possible within the budget of Yoon-woo and Hyerim and Jieun

But I didn’t have the energy to ask.

He wanted to go home and take medicine as soon as possible.

It’s the weekend anyway, but I can’t study, so can’t I just keep sleeping until Monday comes?

When you wake up, take your medicine again… … .

However, Hyerim and Ji-eun did not leave Yoon-woo alone.

We eat, clean up, and go to another bakery together to drink coffee.

And not too long after returning home, Hyerim invited me to go exercise together.

When asked if he was feeling any better, Yoon-woo replied that he was fine now, so he couldn’t refuse her request to exercise.

And we have dinner at Hyerim’s house again… … .

Only after arriving at his dorm, Yoon-woo can be alone.

When I came home from dinner, I was concerned about the pile of laundry piled up in the corner.

If the bunny accepts the gift card, I will hand-wash only the clothes I will wear tomorrow, and if my parents send me living expenses tomorrow afternoon, then I will go to the laundry.

However, the bunny refused the gift card, and the money was automatically refunded, so now he has money to go to the laundry.

I don’t plan on using it, but, unfortunately, I have an extra 50,000 won.

I was supposed to fall asleep after taking the medicine anyway, but it’s more comfortable to have all the things I need to do before that.

With that in mind, Yoon-woo packed the laundry, pulled money from the atm, and headed to the coin laundry.

Normally, as soon as I put the laundry in the washing machine, I would go out and go to a coin karaoke room, or at least go out and stand.

He wanted to become an inanimate object that felt no emotion.

I hated watching the washing machine run, but wouldn’t it be okay if I put my earphones in and close my eyes?

Yoon-woo sat on a chair in the corner of the laundry and plugged in his earphones.

In the earphones, the song Yoon-woo sang in the karaoke room was played over and over again.

‘Don’t leave me until I fall asleep… … .’ Still, this singer with such a wonderful voice must have someone to take care of him, right?

I’m tired of even thinking about it.

While listening to the song, Yun-woo muttered to himself, “I am a chair, I am a desk, I am not a person, I am an emotionless object.”

But even with earphones on, he couldn’t completely block out external sounds.

Rather, the sound of the song coming out of the earphones was getting smaller and smaller.

Thump Thump. The sound of the washing machine running, did the washing machine make such a loud noise?

Thump Thump Thump. Maybe something other than clothes is inside?

Could it be that a person, young Yoon-woo, is inside and is screaming to be taken out?

Mom! Sorry! Please take me out!

Thump Thump Thump. My mother locked me here and went somewhere alone.

I took off my earphones and looked around, oh my God, there were 7 scary washing machines in this space.

One is dissolving someone trapped inside by spewing its terrible digestive juices.

The other six are opening their mouths to swallow someone. That prey… … . There is only Yoon-woo in this laundry.

“Heh heh, heh, heh… … .”

I can not breathe. It’s scary.

Yoon-woo’s heart beat as fast as the sound of the washing machine.

Mom screamed at me.

Dirty bastard! Useless bastard! You have a resemblance to that guy! You’ve been putting that shit on my clothes to make me suffer! Naughty bastard!!

I’m wrong, no, I’ll do the laundry.
But, no matter how much I beg, it’s no use.

It didn’t start from the 4th grade of elementary school.

From the moment he was born, no one listened to Yoon-woo.

It was only in the fourth grade of elementary school that he fully realized that no one listened to him.

Had he known that in advance, he wouldn’t have been begging and shouting in vain.

It would have been less sad if I had quietly shut my mouth and was beaten.

“Huh… … . Ugh… … .”

Water flows from the floor of the laundry. Oh, by the way, it’s not water.

It is the digestive juice that the washing machine spews. Yoon-woo doesn’t have the strength to run away.

It seems that someone is beating his heart with a drumstick.

It seemed as if the concrete had flowed into his stomach and hardened without Yoon-woo knowing it.

His body was heavy and stiff.

The scene around him became increasingly dizzying and distorted.

My limbs were stiff and I couldn’t move.

I used to think that I should die like that, but why am I so afraid of dying from suffocation now?

Because you’re alone?

You don’t have a bunny to die with?

Are you afraid of grimacing when people find your body lying on the floor alone with a horribly distorted face?

Do you think the owner of the laundry would consider Yoon-woo’s death as a nuisance?

Do you regret dying without ever being able to live as a person who is needed by someone?

Maybe there was never a time when a bunny needed Yoon-woo?

But it was then.

Droopy, rumbling. Droopy, rumbling.

Through Yoon-woo’s hallucinations, a familiar vibrating sound entered Yoon-woo’s ears.

It was the sound that Yoon-woo had been waiting for every night, supporting Yoon-woo’s life.

He thought he would never use this app again… … .

He was going to erase it when he got home… … .

The cell phone was placed on Yoon-woo’s lap.

While his breath was suffocating, while his hands and feet were not moving as intended, Yoon-woo squeezed his strength and finally pressed the answer button.

I didn’t have the strength to raise my arm, so I switched to speaker mode.

Whatever this person had something to say, Yoon-woo had to listen to it.

But the washing machine was so noisy that I couldn’t hear it properly.

[Yoon-woo! Knock kung kung kung kung why are you breathing so heavily? Knock Kung Kung Kung]

[Kung Kung Kung Are you okay? Knock Kung Kung]

When the bunny calls Yoon-woo, the washing machines become even more angry and start a riot.

Are you trying to swallow even the bunny?

Yoon-woo isn’t enough to satiate their hungry stomach, trying to swallow even the bunny… … .

It shouldn’t be. Bunny was not a person who wanted to die, nor was he a person who liked Yoon-woo.

So now even the bunny has nothing to do with Yoon-woo.

Yoon-woo melts and disappears into the digestive juices in this laundry, and the bunny will escape from this filthy land and live well on fresh and clean land.

“Huh, huh, bunny… … .”

But at that moment, someone ran into the laundry room.

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