Paranoid Love Affair

Episode 40

Naturally, what was in the box was not the earrings with Bonobono shape.

It was a ring-shaped earring with a purple cubic flower embedded in the center, and small cubic stones were embedded around the flower, which seemed to represent a wreath of a star.

It was small and had a cute look and it had more decorations than Hye-rim’s earrings.

Ji-eun sat at Yoon-woo’s desk, put the earring on her palm, and stared at it for a while.

After looking at the earrings, she pulled out her cell phone again and looked at the message Yoon-woo sent.

After repeating this action for several times, Ji-eun took the earrings, went to the bathroom mirror and put the earrings in her ears.

In fact, there was already a hole in her earlobe.

The hole she dug impulsively in her third year of high school remained unblocked.

I think it’s only been a few weeks since I wore the earrings at that time, but strangely, the hole was still unblocked.

It was a small escape from exam stress.

Maybe back then, I was a little bubbly because I heard so many people talking about me, saying I was cute.

So I wondered how my friends would react if I wore earrings.

Although it was forbidden to wear jewelry such as earrings at school, I also wanted to see myself get caught and scolded for nothing at that time.

In high school, I had good grades and I had never bought in for trouble or received disciplinary action, so I had never had any authority figure raise their voice at me.

Sometimes, I was just offended by the teachers who stroked my head once for nothing when they saw me.

So I went down one weekend to buy the books from the bookstore on the ninth floor of the mall.

And, I impulsively went into the accessory store, pierced my ears, and wore droplet-shaped earrings.

Then I went to school with a fluttering heart, but people’s reaction which I expected was not very good.

First off, there was no one to notice that I was wearing earrings.

‘Why doesn’t anyone know? Maybe my head is low, so they can’t see my ears clearly… … .’

‘Or, is it because the earrings don’t suit me so much that they have to pretend they didn’t even see me… … .’

But, I didn’t have anyone pretending not to know me, and when I heard the compliments after a few days of wearing the earrings, I wasn’t taken seriously.

After all, when people look at her and say that she is cute and pretty, they are just talking about her half-jokingly because of her small body.

No one looked at her properly.

Ji-eun, who came to that conclusion, eventually decided that she wasn’t the girl who’s suitable for dressing up, and tucked her earrings into a deep corner of her desk drawer.

I didn’t want people to notice my pierced ears.

I was embarrassed of the fact that I had tried to embellish my little face because I thought I was pretty.

If they found out about it, they were likely to laugh at me.

But I did not clog the hole even after quite some time had passed.

Even these days, when I was drunk, I sometimes looked in the mirror and touched my ear and said, ‘Have you been drinking too much to get them clogged? Does drinking have anything to do with this?’

But today… … . I felt lucky that I didn’t clog it.

Otherwise, I would have had to go piercing again and wouldn’t be able to try on these earrings right now.

Maybe I have been leaving the hole unblocked so far to wear this earring that Yoon-woo gave me as a gift?

There are many beautiful earrings in the world.

Of course. Made with gold, silver, pearls, diamonds, amethysts…Using a material that is much more expensive than this earring, there are probably more which includes the essences of art made by artisans with specialized skills with all their devotion.

But can I wear something like that on my ear?

Wouldn’t people think that a playful elementary school student stole her mother’s earring and put it on secretly?

Even if someone doesn’t say anything to me, I will continue to ask such questions.

I will continue to feel uneasy about whether I am the right person for the earrings or not.

In middle school and high school, my nickname was ‘An elementary student’.

The problem was that there were people who misunderstood that joke as the truth.

Every time that happens, I get angry and say, ‘I’m not an elementary school student. Do I have to carry a sign that says ‘I was born in xx’ ?’.

Fortunately, I was able to carry such a sign as soon as I went to college.

It was just oversleeping.

‘Does Ji-eun only wear jumpers every day? Come wear some pretty clothes! I miss you so much.’

A lot of people said that.

I was suspicious of their intentions.

Maybe they want to make fun of me?

Wouldn’t it be exclamation like ‘Cute!’ or ‘You look like a child!’?

Of course, such a statement is clearly based on goodwill.

But I didn’t like that. I didn’t want to be treated like a Shih Tzu puppy out for a walk with the hairpins on.

I wanted to be treated like a grown-up woman, just like when people admire Hye-rim’s looks.

‘They are bothersome. What if I wear pretty clothes and spill a drink? And, jumpers are the best for oversleeping… … .’

So, I made excuses like that.

As if I were a person who only pursues what is comfortable… … .

Like someone who doesn’t care about adorning her looks… … .

However, just as the steadily accumulated trans fat in the blood vessels for ample amounts of time causes the arteriosclerosis, my accumulated desires to be treated as a proper woman also converted anger over time and eventually burst.

[ Arteriosclerosis: Arteriosclerosis occurs when the blood vessels that carry oxygen and nutrients from your heart to the rest of your body (arteries) become thick and stiff — sometimes restricting blood flow to your organs and tissues. ]

My heart was something I had to somehow solve on my own, but yesterday I finally poured out my anger on Yoon-woo.

However, Yoon-woo accepted all of my actions.

Not only did he deal with me, who became drunk and relentlessly poured out her desires, he even put me to sleep in his room. He was also worried about me and sent a kind gesture, instead of passing over just a drunkard’s insistence as nonsense, with the pretty earrings.

It wasn’t just that I was happy because the earrings were pretty.
Yoon-woo assured me that these earrings would suit me.

No matter what other people think, there is at least one person in the world who thinks these earrings suit me.

Even if that person is Yoon-woo…

If someone says ‘Huh? Why did you suddenly start wearing the earrings? While you said you don’t like to decorate…’ When someone asked such a question, I now had something to say.

I don’t have to think of excuses for why I want to decorate.

I just have to answer that I was given a present.

Then the other person will ask me, who gave me the present.

When asked such a question, will I tell you about Yoon-woo?

Or will I hide?

Her smile came out while thinking about herself.

She had a desire to show off to someone that the gift was given to her by a good-looking junior in the Department of Economics, and she also had a desire to not let anyone know about Yoon-woo.

In the end, Yoon-woo not only gave me earrings, but also issued a permit to wear the earrings confidently.

“Heh heh… … .”

The smile did not disappear from her lips as she stood in front of the mirror.

The earrings and Yoon-woo, who gave them as a gift, were unbearably lovely.

If Yoon-woo had been right next to me, I might have kissed him because I can’t contain this feeling.

Not only the earrings, but also the words Yoon-woo gave with Kakao talk were like a gift.

Yoon-woo said that this earring suits me more than Hye-rim.

He said that there are many things that I have better than Hye-rim.

Ji-eun is pretty, has a good personality, talks wittily, and when she speaks, she is considerate of others…

Yoon-woo looked at me very well.

I have a lot of things I want to say when I see Yoon-woo. He took care of me even after my blabberings last night.

Does he like my personality?

I am Jieun and of course, I know how kinky I am.

I am just trying not to reveal it to anyone.

But, Yoon-woo affirmed me, which I couldn’t even affirm myself.

What the hell am I supposed to do with Yoon-woo?

Today, no, I thought I would have to keep thinking about this for a while.

– Hye-rim, I don’t think we can have lunch together today. I’m not feeling well.

Ji-eun first sent a message to Hye-rim rather than Yoon-woo.

Although I had time to spare, I had to go to my own house first, not Hye-rim’s.

Because I couldn’t show Yoon-woo wearing the same clothes as yesterday.

My body smells of alcohol.

I also have to bring the 5th period textbook.

The first period was an elective liberal arts class that I could make up for even if I missed it at least once…

The 5th period could not be missed because it was an econometrics class where you could only follow the contents of the class if you heard by yourself.

‘Ah… … . But this… … What is this scent?’

As soon as I tried to wash up my face , the cloak that Yoon-woo had covered for me smelled of alcohol.

Besides, socks… … I slept with this on, so obviously… … I can smell alcohol… … I was embarrassed and sorry to put it in Yoon-woo’s laundry in such a state and to leave.

It would be reasonable for me to wash it and return it.

Ji-eun thought so and put the socks in Yoon-woo’s jacket pocket, folded the jacket, and held it in her arms.

She then started replying to Yoon-woo.

-Yoon-woo-ya, I’m so sorry. You didn’t do anything wrong when I was drunk. I know. Only I overdid it.

– Was it really hard for me to drink alcohol? You couldn’t even sleep well… … . Sorry.

– I was making a lot of noise at home to make a cocktail by myself and I drank too much… … . I’ll never do that again. And as a token of my apology, I will definitely buy rice once. Of course, no alcohol!

– And the earrings are really pretty. I will definitely wear it… … .

– If I’m begging for such a present, I must have been really drunk. Can’t you tell me how much? I just can’t take it because I’m so embarrassed… … .

-And I’ll wash your jacket and socks and return them right away. They smell a lot of alcohol…

-Thank you so much for saying good things about me. To say such nice things to a senior like me who was drunk and riotous… … .

Whether it was because she drank too much or was it because she was nervous, Ji-eun’s hand trembled as she sent a message to Yoon-woo.

‘However… … . I drank and played very hard … . What if he’s just tired of it and goes along with it?’

If you think about it, by nature, Yoon-woo tends to follow other people’s words.

So maybe he just listened to all the drunken me without any thoughts?

In other words, it is only an action according to his personality and may be completely separate from his feelings for me.

Looking back, would it make sense to think well of a person who came to him drunk at dawn and behaved like that?

Perhaps because of me, Yoon-woo, who is taking a class with fatigue, continues to resent me inside…

‘Isn’t it all just empty words? He might have sent me messages with mixed up empty words because he might sound rude, but still, about half… … . No, you’re only half sincere, aren’t you? But if not… … .’

It was herself who saw a movie with Yoon-woo and drank alcohol. And, she can get a rough idea of what his personality was.

So, if she had been able to think soberly, she could have guessed that Yoon-woo would not hate her and stay cold for this kind of thing.

But, she was so desperate for Yoon-woo’s kind reply now.

As a result, she couldn’t get away from the thought that maybe Yoon-woo would ignore her kakaotalk, or might get a really cold reply.

As she walked out of Yoon-woo’s house with such thoughts in mind, she even forgot that she had to leave the clothes at the laundry.

Even after returning home and rushing to take a shower, Ji-eun continued to hold onto her phone and wait for Yoon-woo’s answer.

However, even at 11:45 after the class was over, there was no indication that Yoon-woo had checked her message, and also even at 1 o’clock, when Hye-rim and Yoon-woo had finished eating and tidying up.

Only from Hye-rim, ‘Are you feeling unwell? Would you like me to boil some porridge and bring it to you?’ All I got was that message.

I replied that I was fine, and that I might be able to eat dinner at her house.

Yoon-woo is not deliberately ignoring my message.

Come to think of it, Yoon-woo never took out his cell phone when he was with me or Hye-rim.

Maybe Yoon-woo thinks it’s impolite to do so?

When he meets someone, does he focus only on that person?

Then… … Is Yoon-woo completely focused on Hye-rim now?

Did you throw what happened to me yesterday in the corner of your mind and listen to Hye-rim and only think about Hye-rim at Hye-rim’s house right now?

Could it be that the two of you are talking about how I visited Yoon-woo after drinking yesterday? No way… … .

-I forgot to tell you earlier, but yesterday about me drinking… Can you keep it a secret from Hye-rim?

I sent an additional message like that, but as expected, Yoon-woo still didn’t reply.

On Mondays and Wednesdays, Yoon-woo and Hye-rim attend the 2nd and 5th periods together, and they stay together from 12:00 to 2:00, which is the 3rd and 4th period.

In other words, Yoon-woo is not in class for at least 2 hours, or he is concentrating on Hye-rim.

She couldn’t have been more happy in the world when she took the earrings out of the gift box two hours ago.

However, the thought of Yoon-woo, who gave her the earring as a gift, was pushed to the background, and her happy feelings were buried in the ground right now.

Ji-eun has been thinking only of Yoon-woo since 2 hours ago about how Yoon-woo only hears Hye-rim’s voice, looks at Hye-rim’s face, and only thinks about Hye-rim!

Too many thoughts went in and out of Ji-eun’s mind.

How ridiculous would that be?

It’s not like he left the earrings with his own mind, but because I was begging him to give me a present.

It’s not like I owed Yoon-woo a debt like Hye-rim did…

When I was thinking about the earrings in my ears, I laughed out of joy, and the words from Yoon-woo and Yoon-woo, who gave them as a gift, were lovely.

However, when I think of the time Yoon-woo spends with Hye-rim, and the possibility that Yoon-woo might think badly of me from my image yesterday, tears seem to burst at any moment.

Ji-eun’s emotional vortex of jumping up and down repeatedly continued until 3:15, when the 5th period ended, until Yoon-woo sent a kakao talk.

– No, noona. I really wanted to give the earrings to you, so I bought it. It was so sad that a person as pretty as noona thought like that.

-I’m trying to take responsibility for what I said, so don’t worry about it and just accept it. You don’t even need to buy me food.

– I didn’t say anything to Hye-rim. And I also got drunk and lost my mind last time, so I owe a lot to you. I’m glad I got the chance to pay it back. Do not worry about it.

– You don’t have to do laundry… … . Socks can be washed together when I wash my clothes, and coats can be sprayed with Febreeze a few times… … .

Ji-eun was finally able to let go of Yoon-woo’s concentration on Hye-rim.

Well, if it was Yoon-woo that she knew, he would think like that.

He thinks he has committed some terrible mistake by sleeping at her house on the day he ate lamb skewers…

Ji-eun continued to read her first message a few times with the words ‘a person as pretty as noona’, and even screenshot all the messages Yoon-woo sent and saved it.

She then replied; she thanked Yoon-woo very much, but that she still wants to buy rice for him.

Ji-eun thought as she went to the classroom for the six-period class with a light heart.

‘Isn’t the outfit I’m wearing today strange? Does it suit the earrings completely? Will you tell me that they look good on me in the evening?’

Ji-eun thought too much today.

She also struggled with rapidly changing emotions from time to time.

Thinking and moving emotions consume a lot of energy.

The classes she took today were also difficult major classes.

Besides, she was exhausted from a hangover.

That was the problem.

Ji-eun, relieved to receive Yoon-woo’s reply, was thinking about what Yoon-woo would say to her when he saw her.

She had no idea that she had something else to worry about.

She completely forgot about the fact that the earrings she is wearing now are the earrings that Yoon-woo told Hye-rim that would not suit her.

In her head, only the kind and warm words Yoon-woo had said to her were revolving.

She couldn’t even think of the fact that she, who normally didn’t wear earrings, suddenly decided to wear the earrings, and even if she passed simple answers to whoever asked about it, it would be difficult to pass it onto Hye-rim, saying that she simply received a gift.

Every Monday and Wednesday, class for Ji-eun ends at 4:45, and Hye-rim and Yoon-woo finish class at 3:15.

Yoon-woo goes to the house or the library to study or exercise, and then comes to Hye-rim’s house at 6 o’clock.

Ji-eun really paid no mind to all that.

Only her thoughts and excitement about her Yoon-woo dominated in her mind.

So, as usual today, as soon as class was over, she headed to Hye-rim’s house.

With earrings on…

“Hello Hye-rim!”

“Hello Noona. Are you okay?”

“Yes, I’m fine. I went home yesterday and ate some food…”

“But, noona…Your ears… Why did you suddenly wear earrings?”

“After all, Hye-rim recognizes right away! Uh… but… how?”

“… … It suits you.”