Pride and Sanctimony - Chapter 65

Chapter 65 | I Lost

[Servant] “Young master, the Duchess is here.”

As Tex gestured towards him, the servant that was fitting his clothing stepped back.

[Tex] “Come in, Mother.”

Glancing at the servant who had stepped away, the Duchess turned to Tex, who’s cravat hadn’t been completely tied correctly yet. Looking at her son, Duchess Langbell spoke with a very elegant voice.

[Duchess] “Tex.”

[Tex] “Is everything alright, Mother?”

[Duchess] “Are you heading out soon?”

[Tex] “Just for a little bit.”

[Duchess] “Then, since you’re already leaving, why not stop by the Prince’s palace?”

[Tex] “A most fortunate coincidence, Mother. As it turns out, I was already planning on going there. I haven’t heard from him for a while and he’s not responding to any of my messages, so I was just going to go check in on him.”

[Duchess] “Her Majesty has been very worried these days, so she asked if you could stop by. That’s a relief you’re already going.”

[Tex] “Honestly, I was planning on going in recklessly and tearing open his door if I had to, but it’s nice to know I won’t be arrested now. I was pretty determined to do that if need be.”

[Duchess] “I am glad.”

The Duchess smiled slightly at her son’s reasonable answer.

[Duchess] “But what would you have done if you really had gotten arrested?”

[Tex] “I’d just have to place my faith in my mother.”

[Duchess] “I see. Have a safe trip, then.”

Even if he was close to Lexus during their Academy days, now that they were past that, it wouldn’t be interpreted as good news if the heir to Duke Langbell was seen coming and going from the Prince’s palace as personal company. As such, it had been a while since he actually paid him a visit.

But after they graduated, Lexus never once showed his face. Tex tried contacting him several times, but not once did he get an answer back, so now he had no choice but to storm the palace himself.

And of course that was only something he could do because they were friends, regardless of status.

Once he arrived at the palace, Hugo was standing just outside the door, but unlike his usual composure, he looked nervous.

[Tex] “It’s been a while, Hugo.”

[Hugo] “Ah, Welcome, Grand Prince.”

[Tex] “How’s Lexus?”

[Hugo] “He never comes out of his room, and he doesn’t even eat properly. Heaven knows if he’s getting enough sleep these days. He doesn’t allow anyone to disturb him at night……”

[Tex] “I know it’s been hard, but thanks for looking out for him. I’ll go in for now.”

[Hugo] “I thank you for your help.”

And just like he said he would, with a brash and brazen gait, Tex dared to walk straight into the Prince’s bedroom, tearing open the door without even knocking.

[Lexus] “I told you not to let anyone in.”

His voice was low and guttural, like thorns scratching his throat, and he muttered with clear irritation in his tone. This wasn’t like Lexus at all—especially since he was always being praised by even young children for having a deep and pleasing voice.

Though it was the middle of the day, the curtains were drawn, plunging the bedroom into darkness. And since not a soul had been coming and going from this room, even the air felt stagnant and heavy.

[Tex] “Lexus.”

[Lexus] “Oh, it’s you.”

Lexus was splayed out on the sofa.

[Tex] “What are you doing sitting in the dark like this? At least open the curtains.”

Before Lexus could say anything, Tex walked up to the terrace, throwing open the curtains and opening the glass door leading to the balcony. Immediately, crisp and cool air flooded the bedroom, clearing away the heaviness.

Lexus was always the kind of person who would cut back if a friend did something like that, telling Tex not to joke around, but instead he just stayed quiet—lying on the sofa with his arms covering his face. But Tex was at least glad he didn’t order him to leave.

[Tex] “Your friend came all the way here to visit you, but you’re staying perfectly comfortable, I see.”

[Lexus] “I didn’t invite you, so I don’t see a point in welcoming you.”

That sounded more like him, but his voice was still heavy and scratchy.

[Tex] “Alright, alright. But you should wake up. Let’s get some food and fresh air in you, hm?”

Tex moved and started grabbing at Lexus, pulling him from the sofa. But once he got his arms away from his face, the sight he was greeted with was shocking to say the least.

[Tex] “What the…? You look like hell. What happened? Why do you look all haggard?”

His face was still just as handsome, in no way damaged or marred, but his expression was grim and there were clear dark bags underneath his eyes.

[Tex] “What the hell happened to you?”

[Lexus] “Is it bad?”

[Tex] “I thought for a second someone replaced you with a body double. If it weren’t for your face, I’d have never recognized you.”

[Lexus] “That’s cold.”

[Tex] “If you don’t like it, then get up and eat something. You’re not a kid so you shouldn’t be making other people worry about your stomach. Hey, someone! Hurry and bring something for the Prince!”

Hugo pushed in a tray as soon as he heard Tex’s words like he was waiting just outside. Since it had been a while since Lexus started skipping his meals, the food this time was a carefully prepared soup that would be easy to eat and keep down.

Hugo was grateful that Lexus didn’t immediately tell him to go because Tex was here, but he still felt troubled since he made no move to even look at the food, much less touch it.

[Tex] “Have you forgotten how to use a spoon or something? Don’t tell me you want me to feed you.”

Eventually, Lexus gave a vague smirk, loosely holding the spoon in his hand. Then, he scooped the tiniest amount of the soup up and basically forced it into his mouth.

[Tex] “Really, a hunger strike at your age? Strange things are happening all around, it would seem. I heard even Miss Valentia disappeared from the social circles.”

Clang—

Lexus roughly set down the spoon, completely ignoring the very strict social rule that said one must never make a sound when setting down their tableware.

[Lexus] “That’s right.”

[Tex] “What? What do you mean?”

[Lexus] “Our most admirable top student. She’s gone.”

Within that sarcastic tone of voice was a pain Tex couldn’t even begin to describe. He took a glance around the darkened and stuffy room, and that’s when he realized something deep down.

This was all because of Valentia.

[Tex] “No way.”

[Lexus] “. . .”

[Tex] “Were you serious?”

That was when a low sigh escaped Lexus.

[Lexus] “That’s right. I got all sincere about it.”

In retrospect, it did feel like Lexus was putting a lot of effort into this relationship. However, Lexus was typically in the position of merely accepting the affections of women who approached him, and this time, it was the opposite.

Because the woman in question was the steely Iron Maiden, Tex didn’t really think all that much about his friend’s efforts. He just thought he was going the extra mile because she was a difficult woman to handle.

And so, even after he heard Lexus had succeeded in seducing the Iron Maiden, though this meant Tex had lost the bet, he didn’t really feel all that bad since he somewhat saw it coming.

But what he didn’t see coming was how the one who got all serious about the whole thing was his friend of all people.

[Lexus] “I guess this is my karma, right? Haha, ‘cause I’ve made so many women cry before.”

Both the dress he had made for her and the ring he wanted to give her had been stuck in a corner, never to find the one they were meant for, and Lexus was no different—abandoned like trash shoved in a corner.

[Tex] “Are you okay, Lexus?”

[Lexus] “Why wouldn’t I be? Oh, right, we made a bet didn’t we? Don’t worry, I’ll give all your stuff back.”

[Tex] “No, that’s not what I’m talking about…..”

[Lexus] “What else did I promise? Oh yeah, I have to say something.”

Slowly, the muscles around Lexus’ lips started to twitch and drawing across his face was a smooth smile. Even as worn and weak as he was, he still looked extraordinarily radiant.

And that was when Tex understood the emotion in his friend’s face that he couldn’t recognize before.

It was despair. Unbearable despair. His friend, once so unafraid of the world and brimming with confidence that he could undoubtedly prove every time, was filled with indescribable anguish.

[Lexus] “I lost……….I lost.”

And his smile crumbled.

He admitted his defeat. The words he could never say and had never once said before were suddenly pouring from him with such ease.

And he wasn’t even angry when he said it nor was his pride wounded. All he felt was a crushing and endless emptiness.

He felt lonely and destitute, a corner of his heart left barren and hollow. It didn’t take him long to recognize what it was. It could only be one thing, the empty spot she left behind when she disappeared.

I lost.

When he said that, over and over like a broken record, Lexus looked so very tired that Tex couldn’t find the words to say.

Those were the words he never thought he’d hear from Lexus for the rest of their lives, and even though he was hearing them now, he wasn’t happy. He couldn’t smile or laugh like he thought he would if he ever got to hear them.

He didn’t want this to happen. And he didn’t see this coming at all.

It was just a stupid bet, like the ones they always made together when they were kids. Yeah, just a stupid bet.

This was an understanding that was coming to Lexus too late: You shouldn’t play with people like that. And this was not something he was just saying, or a meaningless admission to excuse away his guilt.

He didn’t know that when you toy with people, freely playing around without a single care for others, you must always be prepared to get hurt, too. And now, he was finally paying the price for learning that lesson too late.

A price he was paying in its most painful form.

* * *

After Lexus finally ate something and fell asleep, Tex decided to give him some space and was just on his way out.

Lexus was still having difficulties sleeping on his own, so they ended up having to mix in some sleeping meds with his water. This was something they only had the chance to do now since Lexus wouldn’t even drink water before.

Once he got some food in him and drank his water with the medicine, Lexus finally managed to fall asleep. Though to be fair, he was frowning the whole time and tried to stay awake, but he was beyond exhausted at this point, and eventually just passed out.

Tex left his room with a heavy heart.

It was just a stupid joke. He didn’t think something so small would make that arrogant and confident Prince turn into that. It was enough to make Tex take in a deep sigh.

[Axion] “Tex. It’s been a while.”

At the sound of someone calling his name, Tex nearly shouted in surprise. The person approaching him was Axion, the Crown Prince, with a smile on his face.

[Tex] “Your Highness, the Crown Prince. I greet the young Sun of the Empire.”

Tex bent at the knee and greeted the first Imperial Star. It was a very professional and formal greeting, one that was more befitting of an official meeting. ⁽¹⁾

[Axion] “You show a fine example. You may stand.”

With Axion’s softly given command, Tex got to his feet, and even still, Axion was smiling. The Imperial family was known for their blindly brilliant appearances, and Axion was no different. His face was overwhelmingly handsome.

[Tex] “Are you on your way to see Lexus? He just fell asleep, but…..”

[Axion] “I already heard as such from Hugo. Thank you.”

But very different from Lexus who was easy to get along with for most people, Axion had a very oppressive atmosphere even when he was smiling.

[Tex] “I didn’t do much.”

[Axion] “That’s not true. As Lexus’ friend, this was something only you could do. You needn’t be modest about this.”

[Tex] “I thank you for thinking that way.”

[Axion] “Though it’s a coincidence I’ve run into you like this, why don’t we talk for a little while?”

[Tex] “Y, yes…..Your Highness.”

It sounded like an offer, but there was no way Tex could refuse, and that fact wouldn’t change no matter how Axion was asking him—whether as the Crown Prince or as the elder brother of his friend.

I got caught. Caught. Definitely caught.

And Tex could tell they definitely didn’t run into each other by chance. It was obvious Axion already knew he’d entered Lexus’ palace and was waiting for him to leave.

But he couldn’t run, so with clumsy steps filled with disappointment in himself, he quietly followed Axion.

* * *

^{T/N: (1) “Star” is used because of Imperial symbolism. The Emperor is the Sun, the Empress is the Moon, and any Princes and Princess are the Stars, hence why Tex called Axion the “Young Sun” in reference to his position as the Crown Prince.}

「^{_{章の唄おすすめ: “Twinkling Lights” by Annalise Emerick}} 」