Chapter 367 A selfish desire was triggered

“Stop it. Fourth Uncle! It hurts!” Meng Xuan only felt pain all over his body and began to struggle again. He continued pleading, “My heart is already burned into ash and I don’t want to live in this world anymore. Fourth Uncle, please stop it. Xiaoyi is still waiting for me down there. I’m afraid that she will be taken away by others again if I’m late!”

“Hush. Just lie still.” Meng Xi frowned and his forehead was covered with thin sweat. He comforted in a soft tone, “Didn’t I tell you that it just hurt at the beginning? You shouldn’t have felt painful now, but you can’t focus so that it hurts more.”

Meng Xuan’s face looked gloomy. He said in a dull voice, “The pain in my body is nothing. What I can’t bear is that in my heart. In my previous life, I was so close to her but I let her go. I was her first man but I took to the woods and left her alone. I felt very regretful as soon as I thought of these things. Fourth Uncle, why does God fool people like this? She and I were destined to miss each other in the previous life, but this life, we could’ve been together while I still lost her. Fourth Uncle, could you predict when we will finally get together forever?”

Meng Xuan just wanted to end his life so he said whatever he wanted and kept talking about “the previous life” and “this life”. Of course, Meng Ying didn’t understand what he said at all but just thought that he said those weird things because he was injured and sick at the same time and couldn’t think clearly. Meng Xi understood Meng Xuan’s words about “the previous life” but he didn’t know the details and it wasn’t convenient for him to ask more since Meng Ying was here. He could just comfort vaguely, “Things always happen this way. You can’t get what is good easily and you won’t cherish it if you obtain something with no pain. Once a couple starts to complain about each other or even keep arguing, that will be the most racking thing. Now you and that woman are in the perfect state. I’ll help you but you should stay still now and take what I’m transmitting to you.”

Meng Xuan opened his eyes in disbelief and turned his head to ask, “What do you mean? Is Xiaoyi still alive? Can I still get together with her? Where is she? Ah! Stop! It hurts!”

Meng Xi felt slightly helpless and replied, “Transmitting internal energy is a very serious matter, but you don’t focus on it at all. You deserve to feel pain! If you struggle again, it will hurt more!”

“Ah! Ouch!” Tears welled up in Meng Xuan’s eyes. He tried to face Meng Xi and asked pitifully, “Is Xiaoyi still alive? Fourth Uncle, please tell me the truth. My life isn’t held in my hand at all but hers. I’ll go wherever she is. We’re indivisible.”

“I never lie. I also don’t know that woman’s condition.” Meng Xi answered, “Since you miss her, you should take good care of yourself and accept what I give you well. You can go find her after you recover. Whether she is still alive or not, you should meet her again, right?”

“Then,” Meng Xuan begged, “Fourth Uncle, please do it lightly. I feel very uncomfortable. Can’t we change our pose?”

“You brat, don’t ask for more after you’ve gained a steal.” Meng Xi pressed him harder and said while panting, “Now you and I are one. I can feel how painful you are. It’s you to blame because you’re not concentrated.”

“…”

Meng Ying’s vision became blurry gradually and couldn’t see clearly the two overlapping bodies on the bed. He felt extremely confused. Why? Why did Fourth Uncle treat Meng Xuan so well? It even violated the selfish desires ordinary people would have and the most basic ethics! Why did he give the best and most valuable thing to Meng Xuan instead of anyone else? He gave Meng Xuan the position of “Lord of Qi Yang”, Mysteries of “Immortality”, Changfeng Formula, and Kunlun Begonia, and also taught him kung fu with personal examples as well as verbal instruction. Fourth Uncle treated Meng Xuan dozens of times better than he treated his own sons.

Meng Ying couldn’t deny the thoughts haunting in his mind and the bitter feeling he had. He was indeed envious of Meng Xuan. He wanted neither to think like this nor to feel jealousy as if his heart was burning on fire. Moreover, he was envying his younger brother. However, he couldn’t control his mind.

Despite things that happened before, about Mysteries of “Immortality”, when Meng Xuan and he were about four or five, they pleaded with Meng Xi together to teach them. Then, they heard that it could just be given to one person and they gave up the thought at the same time because if Meng Xi gave it to another person, he would lose it utterly. How could their Fourth Uncle admired as a god by them become an ordinary man? What’s more, such a unique and precious thing would definitely be given to his own sons. Every emperor would pass the throne to his biological son. Was there any one of them that would give it to his nephew?

However, Meng Xuan was given the unique position of “Lord of Qi Yang” and the unique Mysteries of “Immortality” and Principles of “Two Lives”. Meng Xi had given him everything. His eldest son named Meng Jing was twenty-two and the second-eldest son named Meng Tian was twenty-one. They were both talents. If Meng Xi chose one of them to succeed his skills based on the conventions, Meng Ying might be less envious…

Changfeng Formula and Kunlun Begonia were the two skills Meng Xi was most proud of all his life. The former one was the most powerful cultivation method and the latter was the best weapon-using method. They weren’t unique, but Meng Xi still only passed them to Meng Xuan…

Back then, all sons from Meng’s Family wanted to become their Fourth Uncle’s disciples and learn his doctrines by his side, but Meng Xi said he was used to living freely and he wouldn’t accept any disciple until he wanted to settle down someday. Thus, everyone knew Lord of Qi Yang had no successor. Even his two sons failed to learn the quintessence of the mysterious Changfeng Formula.

When Meng Xi refused to accept disciples, Meng Ying and Meng Xuan were just six or seven, but less than half a year later, one day Meng Ying saw Meng Xuan exerting Changfeng Formula to save people. His movements looked very standard and they were just the same as what Meng Xi usually did. It could be seen that he must’ve practiced the cultivation method for more than two years. Meng Ying asked him why but he couldn’t answer it clearly. Then, Meng Ying realized what happened. It turned out that Meng Xi was teaching Meng Xuan kung fu secretly! Meng Xuan became the only successor of Changfeng Formula! It wasn’t that Meng Xi didn’t want to accept any disciple, but that he had a low opinion of all sons of Meng’s Family except for Meng Xuan!

At that time, Meng Ying also had a similar bitter feeling. He thought, “Since Fourth Uncle has accepted a disciple secretly, why can’t he accept me as well? Am I much inferior to Meng Xuan? Am I less adorable than him? Isn’t Fourth Uncle also intimate with me? Is intimacy also graded? Meng Xuan and Fourth Uncle are ‘very intimate’ while he and I are just ‘intimate’? There’s a grade difference here?

What’s more, since Meng Xuan had been admitted by an almighty master, why didn’t he try to consider me? I’ve been sharing with him my food and clothes since we were just children. As long as I got something, I thought of him right away. Every time he made trouble, I would stand out to take the blames for him. I’ve been beaten frequently by our father with a whip. At least half of the punishment should have been endured by him.

Meng Xuan was always obedient and smart, but why did he hide such a serious thing from me this time? Why did he keep it a secret from his brother? Why didn’t he mention to Fourth Uncle that Meng Ying also had the talent for learning a powerful skill like Changfeng Formula? Isn’t it better that we learn it together and he gets a strong brother who can protect him? Is he afraid that I may surpass him? Does he regard me as a rival secretly? Does he also crave for succeeding the title of Earl Baoding…”

Since then, although he didn’t complain about anything, Meng Ying still felt a wedge had been driven between Meng Xuan and him. He became less sincere to Meng Xuan, but he still expected that seeing his behaviors and attitude, Meng Xuan might realize he was angry and would make up to him by asking Fourth Uncle to accept one more disciple. However, three or four years had passed, such a good thing still didn’t happen to him. Thus, he became angrier with Meng Xuan and also with himself because he kept sulking instead of asking Meng Xuan for an explanation face to face. After being in the sulk like this for several years, he gradually grew up, and what he wanted to ask also remained in his heart as a secret.

Then, Meng Xuan who was closest to him among their eleven brothers was gradually estranged from him. It wouldn’t have ended like this originally if Meng Xuan had been more honest or he had been more generous, but both of them failed so that they became less intimate even if they were biological brothers. Meng Ying had also thought about making changes, but Meng Xuan became more and more mysterious as he grew up and they couldn’t be as intimate as they were before anymore. Even though he didn’t say anything, Meng Ying knew he wasn’t an ordinary man. He had lots of secrets and often foresaw things astonishingly. If Meng Ying happened to notice that, he would beg Meng Ying to keep it a secret for him. Meng Ying always answered him, “Okay. I’ll help you.” However, he grew more and more afraid of Meng Xuan deep in his heart.

He had also warned himself that he shouldn’t think the worst of Meng Xuan but treated his brother more tolerantly and genially. Otherwise, the weeds of jealousy had sprouted in his heart and grew day by day. No matter how he stopped them, they just spread wildly. He read “Every day I examine myself on three counts” in the academy every day and he did keep examining himself, but it couldn’t stop anything. He had been envious of his incredibly brilliant brother all the time.

He wondered why Meng Xuan could always be confident about everything and succeed in doing everything easily? Why couldn’t he even be half as excellent as Meng Xuan? Was Meng Xuan God’s favorite? Why did God give the best talent and luck to the same person? How unfair it was!

Thus, in Meng’s Family, not only Meng Xian, the eldest son, but also Meng Ying, Meng Xuan’s biological brother, was envious of Meng Xuan. Meng Xian just showed his jealousy in his words or behaviors while Meng Ying hid it deep in his heart. He never showed it or tricked Meng Xuan openly and secretly, so Meng Xuan never bewared of him on purpose. Maybe in Meng Xuan’s opinion, he was still the kind and friendly elder brother who rode hobby horses together with him in their childhood.

Maybe those who were very talented were always insensitive and seldom thought about these things. Maybe only those who weren’t preferred by God or surrounded by honors would have such dark and negative thoughts. Meng Ying felt he was relatively lucky. He was handsome and born to be the successor of the title of Earl Baoding. He was respected wherever he went. However, Meng Xian, as a son of a concubine, was often cold-shouldered at home or outside. He must have accumulated much resentment these years so that after he grew up, he became very aggressive and targeted Meng Xuan who was the most brilliant one among his brothers.

One day, Meng Xuan saved a kid under a carriage on the street. His movements were so amazing that their father felt very surprised and happy and thought he was a genius who would have a bright future. Thus, he was given a fast promotion to work in the army, and not long later, he was promoted to be Pioneer General. People all admired and discussed this excellent young general who could even fight fiercely and kill invaders at the age of ten.

Meng Ying smiled bitterly at that time. Meng Xuan surprised people again and stole his thunder even though he ranked first on every subject in the academy. Was it lucky or not to have a brother who was excellent and close to him? Sometimes Meng Ying thought of the story about “Since Zhou Yu was born, why should Zhuge Liang be in this world”. Was he too selfish? Shouldn’t he feel honored for having a brilliant brother like Meng Xuan? In the future, after he succeeded their father’s position and became the garrison marshal, he would have someone loyal and helpful by his side, wouldn’t he?

Later, Meng Xuan stayed in Yangzhou City for some time and got insubordinate after he went back to the army. He even talked back to their father as if he was a firework that could be easily set off. Unfortunately, their father was also irritable those days. The father and son were in the same mood so neither of them made a concession. At that time, Meng Xian and Meng Ying were also there. Meng Xian seized the chance and incited their father to club Meng Xuan to teach him a lesson. Meng Ying mediated them but he didn’t try his best for some reason. After shoves and quarrels, Meng Xuan didn’t give in at all, which utterly irritated their father who stood for absolute authority. At last, Meng Xuan was clubbed very hard.

Seeing Meng Xuan who had his clothes wetted by blood and was at his last gasp, Meng Ying felt slightly happy. Such a vicious feeling shocked him immediately.