Regret it Yourself ~Be Happy with the Saint you Chose~ - Chapter 20

 By Antoinette Vanessa January 14, 2023

After ingesting the poison from Prince Jake, I was rendered immobile.

Even though I was conscious, I could neither open my eyes, move my limbs, nor utter a word.

At the time, I felt bad for making Sarah and the others worry to death about me—and to the doctors who were puzzled by my symptoms.

“—Daisy, wake up. You’re obliged to support this kingdom, and that is by becoming Prince Freddie’s concubine.”

I could still remember what hearing my father’s words made me feel.

At first, I was glad that my father came to visit me. After all, he had never stepped foot inside my room out of his own accord.

I wondered if he was the slightest bit concerned about me—

—That very wish of mine was dashed in an instant.

To my father, what am I…?

Until now, I had never questioned my love, or the fact that I gave my best for him.

While my father didn’t speak a word, our butler informed me that the heir to the Marquis Astor family had been decided.

—Why won’t my father say anything to me?

Before, the question never occurred to me as I was too busy with both my daily tasks and duties.

However, upon thinking about it for the first time, it finally dawned upon me.

To my father, I was nothing more than a tool.

After all, no matter how much I persisted and tried to initiate a conversation with him, he refused to spare me even a single smile.

For that reason, I was overjoyed when my future husband—Prince Freddie, smiled at me.

That was the first time that anyone had.

I, who was 10-years-old at the time, had no one who’d smile at me.

Well, that was only natural, a tool wasn’t supposed to possess emotions. Neither should one expect an explanation regarding the heir to the Marquis Astor family nor smiles.

Surely, my father merely desired the prestige of marrying his daughter into the royal family. Hence why, he paid for my education.

…Hence why, he didn’t feel the need to worry about me.

Otherwise, he wouldn’t have said I was obliged to become a concubine.

Thus, I came to conclude that as long as he could be connected to the royal family, he didn’t care whether I became a queen or a concubine.

As per my father’s command, I had always devoted myself to Prince Freddie. But Prince Freddie—on the other hand, simply annulled our engagement under the pretext of “true love.” It should’ve been obvious what’d happen if I were to marry such a man, and yet—

“—Daisy, wake up. You’re obliged to support this kingdom, and that is by becoming Prince Freddie’s concubine.”

My father still said those words.

He didn’t care about what’d happen if I were to marry Prince Freddie. He didn’t care at all.

If my fiancé, Prince Freddie, refused to look at me regardless of how hard I tried—

If, even so, my obligation remained the same, only that I had to become a concubine—

—Why was I born?

I couldn’t move, but I was conscious. As such, I continued to reflect. I ruminated about the past and despaired at every recollection.

Once the time arrived for me to wake up, I’d surely die.

After all, regardless of how hard I tried, neither my father nor Prince Freddie would appreciate me.

…Surely, from the very beginning, they didn’t even look at me. Hence, not even my best efforts mattered to them.

Amidst my despair, Ryan and Becky came to visit me. I couldn’t believe it. Ryan even bought me a bouquet of my favorite flowers, freesia!

“—Freesia, roasted chicken, cloudy skies… I remember all of them.”

Ryan’s words illuminated my blackened heart.

Apparently, there were those who paid attention to me—who even remembered what I liked.

Soon, they became my biggest hope.

I was almost blinded by despair, but I recalled how Prince Jake risked everything to supply me with the secret poison. Back then, Becky also told me to rely on them more. Furthermore, I also had Sarah and the other servants, who genuinely cared about me.

At last, I finally saw the truth—I wasn’t alone.

Hence why, even if I woke up, I wouldn’t die.

I want to live.

I’d adhere to the words of my father and Prince Freddie no longer, but instead live for myself.

Prince Freddie, who came to visit alongside Lula, didn’t speak a word of concern to me. But he did express his gratitude to Lula afterwards.

“Lula, aren’t you tired? I’ll prepare desserts at the royal palace so that you can relax.”

That alone told me he didn’t care about whether or not I woke up.

For two months, I had plenty of time to think. Reminiscing about the past ripped me to shreds over and over again.

In the corner of my heart, there existed a wish—

—If, if either my father or Prince Freddie were to visit me one more time…

If father expressed his concerns—even if just once;

If Prince Freddie gave me flowers to express sympathy;

However, my father never visited me again, while Prince Freddie never sent me any flowers.

Thus, I figured that they weren’t concerned about me in the slightest.

Thus, my feelings for them vanished.

I never thought about them again. Instead, I started thinking about Ryan who often visited and keep me company for the past two months.

Just as Prince Jake said, two months later, in the morning, I could feel my body again.

“Good morning, Sarah.”

For the first time in two months, I was able to speak and move freely. As my body had merely ceased functioning, I wasn’t injured anywhere.

…Over the past two months, only my feelings underwent a change.

***T/N: Lol, with a father so callous and stuck up no wonder she misunderstood his intentions.