Salvation Equation - Chapter 12

Chapter 12. What’s wrong with him?

 

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Isabel, who had snatched Madeline between the two men with a single, undeterred movement, murmured as soon as she stepped out to the empty corridor.

 

“I actually hate dresses. I hate going to the Bon Marché department store.”

 

“…… Ah…I see.”

 

“I said that to rescue you from that awkward hell. There is no new catalog.”

 

“Uh…yes.”

 

Isabel looked back at Madeline, who nodded blankly, and asked with a suspicious expression. 

 

”I’ve been wondering for a while now, you’re not a psychic, are you?”

 

 “What?”

 

“Someone who sees ghosts. The one who can predict the sinking of the Titanic and communicate with the dead.”

 

“I don’t think so.”

 

It was getting weirder. Madeline thought it would be better to go back and talk about hunting. 

 

“Well, I’m a materialist, so of course I don’t think there is such a thing as ghosts. But you, I’m really curious! You even knew my boyfriend’s name! Even what I am going to do in the future…how?”

 

Materialist. Madeleine was confused, but she knew Isabel was wary of her. Because Madeline knew what Isabel was going to do.

 

“Were you going to die?”

 

After all, that day. Speeding or turning the wheel. 

 

“……..”

 

Isabel clamped her mouth shut. Up close, she looked like Ian. Like the stubbornly mean-looking mouth and thick eyebrows. Madeline relaxed her expression and soothed her.

 

“You know it’s stupid, right? You just try to upset your family. But you want to kill yourself with your lover.”

 

“What the hell do you know!”

 

Isabel shot back. But there was no loud voice. 

 

“…….”

 

This time, Madeline kept her mouth shut. Isabel finally nodded when she saw Madeline became quiet.

 

“I didn’t mean to die. I just thought it would be fun speeding. I was also in a drunken state.”

 

“It’s also a stupid idea to speed while drunk.”

 

“You’re really mean, unlike how you look. You, I thought you were a polite young lady, but I’m surprised.”

 

Madeline sighed. 

 

“I don’t want to make any kind of appearance in this life. I’m not good at socializing either.”

 

Watching Madeline muttering low, Isabel said, 

 

“I know someone like you….”

 

“What?”

 

“No, you’re just like my childhood friend when you talk nonsense.”

 

Isabel gently tilted her head. She took out a pack of cigarettes from her pocket. It was a lucky strike. 

 

“Something tells me we’ll be good friends.”

 

* * *

 

Time did not wait for one. 

 

The Marchioness said, “When your nuptials are over, you’re done,” and “After three social seasons, you’re an old woman.” The murmuring was rather noisy. Madeline now reached a point where she was not so much disturbed by any of the noises. 

 

She had a typewriter and practiced from time to time, just to see if it might be useful. In addition, she was teaching herself how to keep the accounting books. It was not a hobby, but a way of life in its own way. 

 

Madeline imagined a certain ideal way of life. It was not so common at the moment, but one day it would be a common way of life. 

 

It was a life that could be enjoyed to the fullest and richest with no marriage. She dared to hope for that. 

 

To do so, she would need regular income in addition to the money she sold off her father’s estate and mansion.

 

“Hmm.”

 

Looking at the unexpected accounting books, she was automatically horrified.

 

She would still have to go to school. Why didn’t she go to school but learn piano, painting, and classical Greek from a tutor? 

 

“No use!” 

 

It was a thing of the past that the young ladies of good families had tutors. They now have entered an era when the upper classes also go to school, and it has become rare to teach the liberal arts at home. 

 

“I don’t know any more. I am young and my limbs are fine, so anything will do.” Madeline hit the typewriter until her hands cramped and she slumped over the desk.

 

‘Should I have remembered the ten stocks that went up big right after the war before I died?’

 

Madeline chuckled to herself in dismay.

 

She thought that growing only roses in an old castle in England was really a useless time, with no reason to be reborn. After all, the only thing she knew properly was war, war. It was an event that no one could have properly predicted.

 

* * *

 

 Ian Nottingham was not in a good mood, and that was fair enough. Madeline wasn’t in the mood to care. 

 

Her father was acting like a ticking time bomb, and Isabel was reluctant to be Nottingham, (but the conversation with her was fun), and she did want to cling to her old marriage.

 

“My brother has been angry with me until now about the last time I took Madeline away from him. Can you believe it?”

 

Isabel whispered in Madeline’s ear. 

 

“I don’t understand. What’s wrong with him? He really seems to be in a bad mood for no good reason.”

 

Madeline asked back soullessly.

 

“That’s exactly what I want to ask. What’s wrong with him?”

 

Isabel loved it every time Madeline was broadly sarcastic about Ian. It was strange, because all siblings weren’t supposed to be hostile to each other. 

 

Anyway, there was no reason for Madeline to be bothered by Ian Nottingham’s bad mood.

 

“What’s funnier is that he never admits he’s offended. He’s just moody.”

 

‘Isabel is being funny,’ Madeline exclaimed low. At the same time Madeline felt the man’s eyes on her. She hurriedly turned away, but she was a step too late.

 

‘I’m in trouble for getting so close to the Nottingham.’

 

In fact, in Isabelle’s case, she was as good as ‘done’ with her friend. Madeline had no choice. Madeline, who let Isabel make a fuss for a while, suffered a moment later from the opera response of senior members in society.

 

Before long, Madleine, left alone again, closed her eyes and began to doze off, feeling a peace bubbling up from within. 

 

But that peace was short-lived. 

 

“You’ve been tired a lot lately.”

 

‘’Oh, you surprised me.”

 

Madeline’s rudeness was now very blatant. Ian Nottingham was a little taken aback. It was funny how she openly tried to push him away.

 

“You don’t fit the London air. You doze off every time I see you.”

 

“It is true that the air in London is not so good… I study at night.”

 

“You must be studying classical Greek.”

 

Ah, Madeline glanced sideways at the man. Seeing that he responded to her words without any change in his expression, he seemed ready to fight back. Madeline shook her head.

 

“It’s a bit like a Greek tragedy. I can’t sleep thinking about how to avoid the inevitable fate.”

 

“……?”

 

Ian looked at Madeline as if he had never heard such a silly thing before.

 

Ian Nottingham with that clueless look on his face. It was refreshing for some reason. Not only young, but childlike and naive. Madeline, who was slightly softened by such a face, readily showed a smile that she rarely showed to men. 

 

“I’ll put it simply. I’m busy thinking about how to make a living.”

 

“…why should a person like you worry about that?”

 

‘You’re completely stained after playing with Isabel’. Ian shook his head. If he had known she was such a gibberish girl, he wouldn’t have asked for a dance then. Ian grumbled coldly, but his behavior was different. It was because he sat close to her before he knew it. 

 

“I think people like me should be interested in life.”

 

“…maybe it’s because of Baron Loenfield.”

 

Ian whispered very quietly as he fixed his gaze to the front . There was no waver in his brusque tone, and Madeline could not tell what he meant.

 

“As expected, my father’s generous spending is not a secret in London.”

 

Madeline sighed. She was the same. It seemed that the story of Baron Loenfield’s extravagance was already an established fact in social circles. Even Ian knew it.

 

“But we still have the estate. Even with just the small amount of money that comes out of there, we should be able to get by to some extent.”

 

Of course, if they didn’t live luxuriously.

 

“You wouldn’t believe it. The prices are dropping, and the estates are selling fast. And is there a guarantee that my father won’t be extravagant?”

 

kak kak. Ian coughed a little when he heard Madeline openly criticizing her father. He was glad he wasn’t drinking water. 

 

“Am I talking too hard about my father?” 

 

Perhaps Madeline’s excessive realism now was taught by Ian in her past life. Freedom and property were directly linked, and in order to get it, they had to move quickly.

 

“Rather than having struggle alone, wouldn’t it be better to find someone who could accomplish that? Realistically.”

 

Madeline wasn’t too upset to hear that. Now Ian was shaking off all his pretense and talking. It must have been sincere advice for her. 

 

But that didn’t mean Madeline would agree.

 

‘Salvation. I don’t know. I want to live my life relying solely on myself.’

 

“You say something similar to Isabel.”

 

Ian scoffed. Madeline was slightly offended by the sight of him. 

 

“Have you ever hated someone because you hated yourself?” (Madeline)

 

“…….”

 

Ian stared at Madeline as if he was wondering what this was all about. The handsome face was only a little puzzled.

 

“I don’t want to hate anyone, I just want to nurture the strength within me. Even if you don’t understand, I can’t help it.” (Madeline)

 

It was not that Madeline want people to understand her. She just had a sudden realization that came to her and she had to immediately throw it out to the man.

 

The realization that she had said something that grabbed the floating cloud came later. 

 

A moment of awkward silence fell, and Madeline’s face burned red. But the man did not tease her or pursue the matter further. He just nodded as if he didn’t like something. He nodded as if he thought…

 

“You …… well, no. Bye. Have a nice evening.” 

 

Ian left without finishing his sentence properly. And that was that.

 

Madeline shuddered in some strange familiarity as she looked behind him. She seemed to have said too many facts and at the same time not explained too much.