Shattered Memories - Chapter 4

Argen was the territory under the direct control of the Emperor, located at the southernmost tip of the Empire Hesseles. The weather remained in the climate of spring and summer most of the time, while the cold days were short; about less than a month.

Unlike the capital city of Djerba, where the wind scrapes the cheeks sharply, the salty air with the smell of the sea is mild, so people here were usually relaxed and leisurely. Or maybe the peaceful atmosphere was because of the lack of the turbulent condition of the Empire’s high society.

“Your Highness.”

Erhart, who had a cynical disposition unlike a child who hadn’t reached adulthood, looked down at the sound of calling him. Count Canavan, who had previously introduced himself as a Margrave¹, and a girl of the same age as him were next to him. The child forgot her manners and stared at the blonde hair, which was clear evidence that he was the immediate royal family of Hesseles.

“I’m R-reina Neil Canavan. Your Highness.”

When their eyes met, the girl straightened her lips and greeted him as if nothing happened. Even after that, the eagerness of wanting to look good to the prince was evident in the faces of those who stared at him.

Erhart, who was known to have come down to Argen all year round for the sake of recuperation, was the son of Concubine² Olivia Winston, whom the emperor had been pouring out his affection to the point of spreading rumours throughout the empire for decades. That meant that he was a prince with a guaranteed future.

Erhart nodded in response and got up from his seat. A waltz was playing in the hall, so Reina seemed to have thought that Erhart would ask for a dance. She took a step back, but he moved past her instead of living up to her expectations.

Oops. An embarrassing gasp was heard.

Because of Leah, who said that everyone would be curious about him, he sent invitations to the nobles in the Argen to hold a banquet like this, but in reality, Erhart was not interested in this kind of event at all. Perhaps Leah, who had tried hard to arrange this kind of event today, would have put on a prim air now, but fortunately for him, she was away for tea time with the ladies.

But what’s the use of making ties with the nobles and dating children of his age as she wishes? Either way, he was going to die.

Thinking of his own death in a very monotonous tone, Erhart went out to the balcony. After half-heartedly greeting the Margrave of Argen, no one stopped the prince who did as he wished.

“

As he went out, he could smell the salty smell he had become accustomed to for ten days. The sound of waves. He would often go out to the balcony and stand for a while, looking outside.

It wasn’t that the scenery outside was very good, but his life was boring. Erich, please wait a little. The night before he left the capital for recuperation, his mother, Olivia Winston, stopped by his bedroom and hugged her young son, who barely reached her chest, whispering tenderly. Just hold on a little bit. Wait a little. I’m going to keep you alive and hold you in my arms.

It was a funny thing to say.

The reason Erhart, who had never even stepped out of his palace, came down to Argen by the Emperor’s order was very simple and clear. For him to go to a place she can’t see, and die so that Olivia won’t be too devastated. That was just the reason.

His existence was not well known even in the social circles, so the people of Argen seem to believe that he was sent away because they were worried about the prince who suffered from frequent illness from birth. The reason was unknown, but the Emperor hated Erhart, so he was anxious to take his life whenever he had a chance.

It was something he had experienced since birth, so he wasn’t particularly feeling wronged or afraid.

He was just tired of it, to the extent that it would be better for him to end his life by himself.

Thinking about it, he remembered a few days ago.

Even then, Erhart had a habit of leaning against the railing of the balcony before going to sleep, enduring and letting each day pass by. Shwa~ Shwa~ The sound of waves crashing against the cliff was heard in succession, which compelled Erhart.

He quietly escaped from the bedroom while others were sleeping, and impulsively threw himself off the cliff, deciding that he would end his life first before anyone else could do it. Hearing the nanny’s astonishing scream, he woke up on the cold stone floor and greeted the dawn soaking the world into blue.

Perhaps he had been washed away by the waves and drifted to shore, but Erhart clearly remembered the feeling of sinking deep down.

And also.

“…”

Now the redness has gone away but he rubbed my cheeks that didn’t have a trace.

“You didn’t offer a dance to the lady.”

Sounding her presence, a voice fell to the top of his head. As soon as he raised her head, Leah glared at him, perhaps because she heard the news.

“How embarrassed the young lady must have been.”

“Do I need to take care of that too?”

“Did I not raise Your Highness, have you grown up to be a gentleman who doesn’t care about a lady?”

“There should be a place where I could use what I have learned so far.”

Even though he knew that his answer could strike her heart, he didn’t swallow the words. And Leah, who initially lost her husband and newborn babies one after another as a countess of a small young land, entered the palace as his nanny and raised him since his breastfeeding days, was not weak enough to be hurt by these words. Besides, if he said this, she would know that Erhart was very tolerant of her and chose his words deliberately.

“So you were shy and refused?”

As expected, Leah responded smoothly as if flowing water.

“Why are you talking nonsense when you’re already here?”

“Even so, I was enjoying refreshments at the invitation of the eager ladies who were curious about the noble hobbies of the Crown Prince. But, well, Lady Canavan came to your mother in tears and told her the whole story.”

That was a lie. Even with her words, it was clear that she had come in response to Erhart’s statement that he had gone out to the balcony alone.

He glossed over the incident a few days ago that he had accidentally slipped while going out to see the sea up close, and Leah did not investigate further, but she did not seem to believe it. Although he had never talked about death, she was closer to him than his mother whom he rarely sees, so she must have a feeling.

“Are you tired? Your Highness. Would you like to go back and rest?”

Leah, who remembered Erhart was reluctant to attend the banquet, asked while examining his complexion. Despite being the son of Olivia Winston, who boasts great authority and was favoured by the emperor, she was strangely hated and was the nanny of an elusive prince who could die anytime. However, Leah sincerely cared for Erhart.

“I’m not a child that I have to go back and rest already.”

“You’re still young. You have to grow taller.”

Leah discussed his height. Erhart’s face was slightly irritated. Erhart was a little taller than his older brothers when they were his age, but without knowing it, he started getting annoyed when others talked about his height.

“Take a rest if you are tired. Even if it is not today, there are many days.”

After replying, Leah grabbed his hand and pulled him lightly.

“I didn’t know you were so energetic.”

“You have to meet the expectations of Confucius who dream of becoming a knight and ladies who dream of romance.”

Erhart snorted. As they moved away from the hall, only the sound of footsteps and laughter echoed through the empty hallway. Then everything was still until he went up to his bedroom. Leah didn’t get on his nerves since he didn’t seem to be in a very good mood, and Erhart didn’t want to upset Leah’s mood, who seemed to be having fun today with his sharp tongue.

As they moved quietly, they were soon in front of his bedroom. Leah, who went in with him, checked whether the lock was on the balcony, while Erhart was assisted by his attendants to be washed briefly and changed into comfortable clothes.

When asked if he still knew he was a child, he was drawn to respond that he was not even an adult, so Erhart lay on the bed obediently without lifting a finger. Then, as if she had decided to treat him as a child, she even opened the duvet and swept over the scattered blonde hair on his forehead.

“Sleep, Your Highness. I’ll go out and take care of it.”

Knowing that he just hated having a servant by his side, saying that it was a nuisance, Leah beckoned the servants to go.

“Leah.”

Leah, who was following the servants trying to go out, turned around at the sound of him calling her.

“Did you look into it?”

There was no clear subject, but it was a topic that Leah could not possibly understand.

“I looked into it but… it’s dark enough that you can’t see anything when the sun goes down, so there have been several accidents. So grown-ups and children don’t even walk in that area. Even the common people. Maybe Your Highness saw it wrongly?”

A few days ago, Erhart said he had seen someone, and ordered to her to find out because that child had saved him. It was disappointing to hear the answer after waiting for several days. At first, the nanny thought he was lucky enough to be washed up by the waves, not that someone might have saved Erhart.

It was night, and the water was deep. No matter how much one had lived their whole life by the sea, no, they wouldn’t have approached the frightening sea at night.

“But what about my cheeks?”

Erhart was sure that someone had saved him. Because of the tingling and red-tinted cheeks that seemed as if they had been hit, among other memories. That is to say, the green eyes that looked like a new sprout looking at him… the beautiful and refreshing voice that seemed to fill the cool and empty heart.

How could that be an illusion?

“It may have been scratched by a rock… I’ll look into it more. Your Highness. So go to bed quickly.”

Disregarding the fuss, the nanny gently pacified him and when he finally closed his eyes, she turned around and went out. Swish swish. There was a sound of the hem of the skirt being dragged across the ground, and the door closed. After that, Erhart opened his eyes again. There wasn’t a hint of sleep in his blue eyes.

Erhart got up from his seat, flipping the blanket over, and secretly opened the door to the balcony again. He didn’t forget to check the door to see if Leah would come to take a look again.

As he went out to the balcony, the dark sea greeted him. The moonlight shining down on the silvery sea was as calm as when it had tried to swallow him, but in fact he knew.

The wild waves will swallow him up without a trace if he falls, and drag him down to the terrifyingly lonely waters, and that there was something unknown living in the sea.

When mentioning the latter, Leah had burst into laughter saying that she did not know that their prince was still at an age where he read children’s books.

No, was he really mistaken?

He had never believed in such a thing or fell in love with fairy tales, but actually, the book Leia read in bed created a certain fantasy.

“…Huh?”

As he stared tenaciously, wondering if it was possible, I saw something popping up on the surface of the sea. Maybe it was an illusion, but this might also be the figure of what he was thinking of.

Even though he was aware of that fact, Erhart ran outside.

1. A title of nobility, I think it’s similar to Marquis
2. I’m not familiar with royal titles but 차비(次妃) apparently refers to wife of Emperor, second to the Empress(?)