Surviving as an Illegitimate Princess - Chapter 6

Phaeon’s eyes widened. I’ve never seen him so surprised. H wasn’t this surprised when I mentioned the fake revelation earlier. Do you think that there’s a hole in his ant-sized conscience?

“Angel, do you like ‘papa‘ too?”, asked I with a natural twinkle in my eyes. 

“That…”

He cleared his throat for a long time, but could not hide his trembling. 

“That name doesn’t work either.” 

“Why? Why not this one? It’s not angel, just like you said!” 

„It’s against the law.“

[T/N: not sure what that hast to do with the law, but it probably means that he isn’t allowed to be called that by a member of the royal family. So he could receive punishment.]

“That, only rarely then… Only if it’s just between us two… Is it okay if I use it as a nickname then?”

He slumped down in front of me, grabbed my little body and said in a hurry: “Princess, we won’t see each other much in the future. We will be in different places, and I have a lot of duties to take care of.” 

You don’t have to hold me that strongly! I‘m going to get bruised! How many times have you ever dealt with a child?

“So never!” You can’t call me by that name anytime, anywhere.”

“…”

Thud.

Tears welled up because of the physiological pain that came from my tightly grabbed forearms and the resentment for this man who was trying to push me away: “…!”

“sniff, Angel-nim is too cold to Asha! Angel … Angel-nim  is too … to Asha…” 

“Ahh… Princess.” 

“Ugh… Uwaeeee!”, I shook my head and wept. 

“What’s going on?” 

The escort who had left the room before burst in. Phaeon let go of my body in embarrassment, but it was too late to stop my tears. I was out of control now. 

“Angel-nim…! Asha… Asha called him Papa and he said… Asha won’t see him again. Sniff… with Asha… Angel doesn’t want to play with Asha… I calles him by a nickname, but… but he got angry… so scary… sniff.”

When I confessed the truth with tears dripping like chicken poo, the escort knight looked at Phaeon as if he was criticizing him. 
[T/N: that’s a funny way to put it lol]

“Oh, Lord Parciel! You’re overreacting to that nickname. The Princess still a small child, and you shouldn’t be as rough with her as when you’re dealing with adults.” 

” ……I’m sorry. I went too far.” 

He apologized to me reluctantly. A restless glance went to my forearm where a red handprint was visible. But he quickly turned his head away as if he had seen something he couldn’t bare to see. 
I cried even more sadly at that sight: “Sniff… Asha … Asha is so jealous of you calling other with a nickname. because… You’re my first… angel. You’re my first friend… so I called you by a nickname.”

“Friend…”? 

When he asked back flabbergasted, Conrad, the royal knight, was on my side: “If the princess is crying like that, just listen to her. Isn’t it an honor for a knight to be called by a nickname from the princess?” 

As if there was anything to refute, he alternated between Conrad and me with his eyes shaking anxiously. Then he lowered his head and sighed for a long time: “…do as you please, Princess.”

After saying so, he ended up running away without saying goodbye. Even though I shouted in a tearful voice, “Then can I call you Papa?”, he didn’t even look back. 

“A-hyu, that jerk… ah.” 

Conrad began to appease me after swearing at his disappearing back: “Relax, princess. He’s famous for having neither blood, nor tears or a heart. Frankly, it’s questionable why he‘s loved by God. He mush have never calles someone else by a nickname his entire life, forget about being called by one.” 

When I stared at the door where Phaeon left without answering, he continued, as if he thought I was deeply hurt. “Hehe, princess. Why don’t you call me by a nickname instead? The princess doing so would make me very happy!” 

Your past few years of incompetence aren’t forgiven even after talking badly about Phaeon. This pig! 

“Asha is a exhausted. I want to be alone.” 

My cold eyes surprised him a little. 

“Uh… well, rest well. Soon the maids will come to pick up your highness.” 

He hurriedly left through the door.
“What’s with the child’s eyes?”, heard I him murmurring. 

Left alone, I climbed up the guest chair and calmly organized my thoughts. 

“I’m sorry, but I can’t love you. Even when you’re the child of the daughter I cherished”, is what the kind should have told me today originally. When I first heard that in my first life, I was deeply hurt by it. 

The fact that I am the princess of this country and my grandfather is the king was so unrealistic that it didn’t hit me at first. But how high were my expectation for my first ‘real’ family? I thought that they wouldn’t be like Windmills at least … but instead I was greeted with the curse of “I can’t love you.” 

By repeating it in my second and third life, the pain became dull, but the deep cut I received from it remained as a scar and I became increasingly more obsessed with the idea that nobody would be able to love me.

But at least today, one big thing has changed. That the king has come to like me in this life time. His trust in me has deepened due to the trust in the oracle about “god’s child.” 

“Princess, we are temporary maids from the Palace of Olentia (the palace in which Aquilla and Stella lived).”

The temporary maids came rushing in. 

“I’m Lawrence, a temporary maid. We will serve the princess with all our heart until the official maids and ladiesfort the princess come.” 

So formal. I’m going to be a socially ill-adjusted princess who can’t take a step out of her room because she’s stuck in a room where all these people come in and out.

“First, let’s take off the priest’s uniform for now. I’ll change you into this nightgown. I haven’t  been able to find a dress for someone of your age yet…”

It’s a shame you can’t find one. I only wore nightgowns until I got five! Just because of the ridiculous excuse that children grow up fast! 

Of course, I have no intention to stay in Aquila’s palm like this. 

‘I’ll have to disrupt her plans myself in a few days.’ 

༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

Three days later. 

King Ferdinand woke up at 4 a.m. that day as well. Despite being tired of the mountain of documents concerning nation affairs every day, he had no intention of skipping the sacred ceremony. 

“Your Majesty, the air is cold today. Since you worked so hard yesterday, even if you skip a day of your early morning prayer…” 

“How dare you say that! Lux is listening to us right now! Laziness is the first sin that leads to hell“, groaned he. 

„Then I’ll take you to the temple.” 

A familiar chapel that he visits every day. But, somehow, an unfamiliar sound was heard. His escort rushed ahead to confirm the source first, but the king pulled him back and took his finger to his mouth: “Shhh! Stay still.” 

This is the personal prayer room of the king, which is only available to him. Whowould have set foot in this sacred place? Surprisingly, the king’s turquois eyes reflected a small back and head. It looked so small that you could hold it with one hand. 

The wisper was so small, it was hard to figure out what it was about. Surprisingly, its owner was the king‘sgranddaughter, Anastasia, whom he first met a few days ago. 

“…!”

The girl, who prayed earnestly with only three or four candles on to light up the dark room because the sun had not risen yet, looked more sacred than a baby angel. The king stared blankly at the scene for a moment, then came to his senses and coughed. 
Anastasia looked back in surprise: “Your… Your Majesty?” 

“…what do you mean, Your Majesty? Didn’t you call me differently last time?” 

“…father… grandather?” 

He coughed in satisfaction, “Where’s your escort knight? Are you here alone?” 

“The escort wasn’t there when Asha woke up, so Asha came alone. It’s a nuisance to wake up the escort.” 

“What? It’s been only a few days since he became an escort knight! I can’t believe he’s already this lazy!”, cried the king out in shock and when Anastasia seemed startled by it, he asked again in a soft voice: “How did you find this place?” 

“I just… woke up and I felt like I could hear Lux‘ voice somewhere. So I just walked around… and when I noticed, it was here already. Did Asha do anything wrong? Are you going to scold the escort? Don’t get mad.”

The king’s face was filled with emotion. “No, no… I won’t scold him if you don’t want me to. By the way, what were you praying so hard for?” 

“I was begging for forgiveness. Asha is… a sinner.”

“What do you mean a sinner? How could a small child like you have sinned?” 

“Asha… had never gone to the temple to pray before I came here. There was no other way because Asha wasn’t allowed to go… but it’s still a sin.”

“…”

Santra’s people were obliged to visit and pray in a temple close to the “Day of Prayer” once every 10 days. Although it was not legally enforced, it was a natural duty for the Santra people, and if it was not followed, itwould be worthy of being pointed out publicly.

However, his granddaughter wasn’t able to go to the temple. Her adoptive parents, who were worse than the devil, couldn’t be saved anymore! 

“No, Lux will not consider you a sinner! You don’t have to beg for anything like that!”, tried the king to lessen her guilt after he sighted, but she shook her head slightly. 

“No… if Lux won‘t forgive Asha, her heart will burn of guilt. I’… I can’t continue staying in the palace as a sinner!”

“What do you mean? It wasn’t your fault, so you deserve everything you were able to enjoyed till now.”

Anastasia shook her head and clung to the king’s leg: “No, Asha is not worthy. Grandfather, let Asha stay at the temple, please.” 

“What? At the temple?” 

“Then I can be with Lux every day and pray as much as I wasn’t able to in the past.” 

“You can go to the temple to pray every day, my dear. It’s right next to the palace, so you can go any time! Why should you stay at the temple, princess?“

“I don’t want to do it while enjoying everything I can enjow now. I’m going to serve at the temple. Only as long as I haven’t been to the temple.” 

The king couldn’t believe what he had heard and his voice became higher: “What a thoughtful child you are! I’m so old that I don’t feel the least bit uncomfortable enjoying myself! You must be… You must be a child of God. Your soul couldn’t be this pure otherwise!” 

‚It’s a soul, that’s already worn-out though…’, thought Anastasia, but decided to let him keep his delusion for now.

༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

That afternoon, I was walking toward the temple, holding Rosa’s hand in my left hand and Yuzu’s hand tightly in my right hand. 

“I can’t believe the Princess is staying at the temple!”, said Sierra with a flushed face. 

“Really. I thought I’d be able to look from a distance at best.” 

“By the way, is it okay? Someone as precious as the princess stays in the temple…?” 

“Woong! Aisha can do the laundry and fold it. I can even clean.” 

“Oh, my princess! You don’t have to do that. We’ll take turns looking after the princess. Even so, we can’t do as much as a maid or even a maid of honor.” 

“Yes, and now please call our names comfortably.” 

Far away, I could see Phaeon. He looked at me and hardened like a stone on the spot. 

The face that says, “Why are you here?” 

Oh, it’s thrilling.

“Papa!” 

I ran to him with a big smile. 

Please take care of me while we stay under the same roof from now on, Papa.