Thank You For Being Trash

Chapter 47 – What Truth (6)

[ Raphael often took Arne to masquerades. When night falls, and those who have not yet reached the age of adulthood of the Carwen Empire go home, a party of their own was held.

Arne didn’t know that the medicine she was drinking was aphrodisiac. Feeling her body heat up, she thought she was completely crazy now. As Raphael dragged her leash, she wished he didn’t know that she was getting wet underneath. She couldn’t walk properly due to the rising excitement.

“Why are you so bad at walking?”

Raphael, who had brought her to a deserted place in the party, asked quietly.

Arne let out a silent scream. On the other side of her heart, she looked down at herself, who was wet with excitement, and thought that she would like him to f*ck her sooner. Still, she thought she was crazy.

“Don’t… Huht—mind me.”

Her body reacted to Raphael’s act of holding her fingertips and kissing her lips. Arne despised herself. Had her body been tamed while being abused…?

Her body trembled.

Contrary to her heart, her lips continued to exhale hot breaths, and her body wished he had touched her more. Raphael’s hand patted her thigh. The fingers that moved as they touched the flesh of the inside of her thigh reached her entrance, who was wearing only a garter belt and no underwear.

“Hak-ang, hnn-aaahhnngg…”

She couldn’t hide her embarrassment even after she let out a moan. Contempt was creeping up. What she could do for the Kingdom… she was surviving for now. Even though she was being in it, she did not enjoy the feeling and did not feel it.

But, what she thought of was now shattered.

Raphael’s fingers pounded to the depths. She rubbed her body and let out a hot breath. Her body and reason didn’t listen, so she cried. However, even more, contemptuous was that she brought her body towards him to feel even a little bit more pleasure.

“Your body likes it so much, why are you crying?”

He then bit the tip of her ear.

Even that was lustful, love liquid flowed out from underneath Arne. Because of that, Raphael’s gloves were wet with her love liquid.

“Kuht. Are you actually enjoying yourself while you say you don’t like it?”

Then, he licked the thin love liquid on his gloves with his tongue. Arne took a breath. Was it really like that? In fact, maybe it was good. Her distant reason made it impossible to properly filter out any words.

Words were so powerful that even things that weren’t real could be felt when you kept listening to them out of your mouth.

Arne was confused.

She was sad. If she was to be tamed and enjoy it like this… She should have died, far from enduring this arduous ordeal and rebuilding the Kingdom to shine. She felt sad because it felt like she was putting the country to shame.

The time she had endured was crumbling.

It was nonsense.

If she had been sane, she might have known, but now, she was drunk and not sane. Everything seemed to be her fault. Raphael unbuckled his pants. The behavior, which would have been contemptible in the first place, also felt erotic.

Arne was held by Raphael at will.

While there have been so many crimes, there had never been a day when she felt as good as today. There had never been a day when she was as miserable as it was good. Arne closed her eyes. Now that everything was distorted, she thought she was dreaming.

…Other than that, having s*x with the person who ruined the country wouldn’t feel so good.

Arne woke up in the morning and wept in shame. That… that wasn’t her. As she said that it wasn’t her, she felt like she wanted to die right now.

Early in the morning, Raphael came to her room.

It was funny that he didn’t know she was drunk on the aphrodisian and held on to him. He was glad that it seemed like he was controlling her to his own will, to his own taste. Raphael carelessly handed Arne the water with the aphrodisiac, and she drank without knowing anything.

And that night, Arne hugged Raphael herself.

The next night, and the next. ]

[ It wasn’t until some time passed that Arne found out that Raphael had given her an aphrodisiac. Her mind was already torn to shreds. Every day she repeated her death and life. Even though she thought she wanted to die, she thought of life as she was filled with pleasure.

It was funny… To think of life as pleasure. That the person who abused her recklessly made her want to live.

It was amusing.

Her dry heart was pounding. There was no time to close the gap. Arne couldn’t contain her anger. The thought of taking the aphrodisiac felt like a sin. She wanted to cry, but she couldn’t.

…She didn’t deserve to cry.

Arne slapped Raphael on the cheek. Once, twice. She repeated the beating until her anger was released while he was silently receiving the beating. No matter how much she hit him, her anger didn’t go away.

She stopped beating when she got out of breath.

It was so sad that she couldn’t hit him anymore. It was sad that she could only release her anger like this. It was sad that she could release her anger like this because he allowed her to.

Raphael laughed.

“…Are you done?”

Arne took a step back from the horrified feeling.

Raphael caught her and laid her down. He then shoved his p*nis into the stiff anal that had never been entered without any warning.

“Khhuk…!”

Great pain swept over her.

Meanwhile, Raphael didn’t know if Arne was hurt or not. Rather, it was nice to see her gasping for breath in the suffocating pain. The tightening feeling felt good, and he patted her chest and fondled it.

“Your ass is delicious. Yes, here, if I tame it as mine, it will turn into a nice shape of my cock, right?”

A batting sound filled the room.

She couldn’t even get angry. Even in this situation, love liquid flowed from her bottom that had been tamed by the aphrodisiac. Arne couldn’t hide her misery. Her heart ached more than her bruised hands and her rough, swaying body.

He was a wicked man.

He was a ruthless man.

…Taken her country, taken her sanity. Taken her body, too.

Arne let go of her fading spirit because it hurts so much. In her sanity, she couldn’t stand it. ]

It was too shabby to be called the end of such a ruthless person. I threw the sword at random. Blood splattered with the sound of the clatter.

“…Why do you look like that?”

Distria grabbed my chin.

I faced him that had a dissatisfied face. I didn’t even know what expression I was making now. Was I suffering? Or was I being expressionless?

I didn’t even know.

“You killed someone you didn’t like, so why aren’t you happier?”

“…Do you think I will do whatever you want?”

“…The day I brought Rewan. I can’t wait to see if you can say the same thing in front of me.”

I didn’t say anything to him. Even though I was aware of the reality and didn’t know what kind of feelings I would have for him when I met him again, I was surprised that his words didn’t make any sense to me.

A person who loved him and lost my reason because I could not control my love until just a few days ago… I didn’t feel any emotions at Distria’s words.

Or, maybe it was such a shocking word that I couldn’t even think of anything. No… I don’t think that was it. It was because I’m a selfish person… because I know I wouldn’t dream of a love that wouldn’t come true.

It seemed that I could not feel the feelings of love for Rewan, whom I would probably meet again.

For me, love was something that was immutable and unchanging.

How would he react if I canceled the order I asked Acacia to help me find Rewan? Would he be happy with what I am doing? Or, would he worry about me?

“…I’m sorry.”

Acacia looked at my hand covered in white bandages and opened his mouth. It was an apology of unknown origin. What was the apology about? What did I want to die for? That was their misunderstanding.

I just stared at the procession of mourners lining up in front of me without saying a word.

The Imperial Palace was busy with Raphael’s funeral. I couldn’t understand Distria’s intentions to send a pretty grand burial of the person I killed. He also ordered me to attend the funeral.

“What the hell.”

Wearing a black robe, I picked up a white flower and placed it on the coffin. I continued to tell myself that I had killed Raphael.

“…Excuse me for a moment.”

Acacia, who had been by my side, left the place with a pale face. As soon as he left, Lepis, whom I did not know where he was, came up to me. Inside the funeral hall, there was no one who truly paid tribute to Raphael.

Like wicked him, the one who cried for him was also the same.

I just attended the funeral under Distria’s order without saying a word. Raphael’s funeral was nothing more, nothing less. At this point, it was crowded with people trying to connect with high-level executives. This funeral home was not a place of remembrance.

“I killed him.”

“….”

I muttered softly to Lepis, who was standing by my side. People were walking around. When a high-ranking person came, he bowed his head. Lepis stood there without a word.

People dressed in black and white roamed around in a mess.

He gently grabbed my fingertips. Lepis, who was gently rubbing my palm, clasped and grabbed my hand as I opened it due to the itching. At the same time, Distria’s eyes followed me tenaciously, so I acted naturally.

Lepis was so drunk with this present sweetness that he didn’t even know that Distria was looking at him.

…Foolish.

Love is a slow emotion that makes you get drunk in it easily… Once you fall for it, there is no answer. I didn’t even know how to get out. Just like me, who fell for Rewan and lost my mind.

He looked like me.

“Raphael was originally meant to die.”

Lepis muttered softly. For a moment, I didn’t understand what he was saying, so I blinked my eyes. It was noisy around, but in the meantime, there was silence between us.

I glanced up at him.

Why did he say Raphael was going to die? I didn’t know why he was so certain.

“…Why?”

“The proposal to deal with Raphael… I passed it at the nobility council.”

Lepis raised my clasped hands, and he kissed the back of my hand. As he kissed his lips long on it and then lifted his head, I peered to the side where the Distria was. That moment, the moment Lepis looked towards Distria, it t felt so pretentious.

Lepis slowly turned and looked at me.

“However, I did not know that the Emperor would listen so easily.”

I couldn’t believe that I didn’t know. I remembered the bastard whom the Emperor had muttered in anger. And Lepis, who saw me bleeding that night.

However, I didn’t know that Lepis loved me enough to even do that… enough to be on the verge of death. I know that he loved me enough to do it when he said he would die if I wanted to. Lepis tightened his hand that was holding my hand.

He whispered softly.

“…My life is now in your hands.”

He wasn’t a foolish man drunk in sweetness. He was just a man in love.

“…Yes.”

The deep love in his purple eyes. A love that would never hesitate to die.

It was creepy.

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