The Attack of Little Red Riding Hood - Chapter 2

  The Honoring Life Company’s work efficiency is very high. After the simple but rude interview, it is time for staff training. Comrade (t/n: as in coworker) dean, the interviewer, don’t care at all whether the new employee has accepted this fantasy world or not.

    “This is the employee handbook, go back and take a good look.” The dean threw a piece of paper over.

    “Wait, are you for real?” Little Red Riding Hood was obviously still confused.

    “You’ll know when the contract is signed.” The dean pointed to the contract and handed over a pen. Both were shining with golden light. “Sign your name first.”

    Little Red Riding Hood held the pen with hesitation. She looked at the dean.

    “You’re a dying person, what is there to be afraid of?” the dean asked, rolling her eyes.

    That’s right, Little Red Riding Hood thought about it, she only had a month left, and there was nothing to fear. And she did read the contract just now, except for the rather scary company’s name, the salary that’s lower than the usual rate, and there are no five insurances (1) and just one housing fund, everything else looks normal.

    Looking at the sparkling golden pen in her hand, Little Red Riding Hood signed her name: Xiao Hong Mao (2).

    That’s right, Little Red Riding Hood’s name is Xiao Hong Mao, but everyone prefers to call her Little Red Riding Hood. Anyway, the pronunciation is not bad, so Little Red Riding Hood never cares about it.

    “Very good.” The dean took back the contract and the golden pen, opened the safe next to her, a burst of golden light shot out, and the dean put the contract inside.

    The moment the safe was opened, against the dazzling golden light, Little Red Riding Hood vaguely saw several similar contracts. Little Red Riding Hood suddenly felt a lot more at ease. It seems that this company is not fake, and there are a few employees.

    “By the way, you can read the employee handbook first, and I’ll tell you about the company’s background later.” The dean said while looking for something in the filing cabinet.

    The employee handbook is just a piece of paper with two lines on it, and Little Red Riding Hood can read it at a glance.

    Employee Handbook No. 1: If life can be earned like wages, how hard will you work for it.

    Employee Handbook No. 2: Do not violate the laws of the world (ethical standards can be ignored depending on the situation).

    If the first guide is to motivate you to work hard, what the hell is the second one for? There is something wrong with this company.

    “Have you read it?” The dean turned her head and didn’t ask Little Red Riding Hood how she understood it. Anyway, it won’t take long for her to understand it thoroughly. “Then let me tell you about the background of our company.”

    “The company’s headquarters is the underworld. Yes, some might say it is a legend, but people used to believe it very much. Unfortunately during the founding of the People’s Republic of China, after the fight against feudal superstition, they didn’t believe in it as much, but the underworld still exists.” The dean introduced, “Our brother unit is the hell and heaven of the West. By the way, the relationship between both of them is very good. They don’t fight every day and they gather together every century at the group exchange conference.”

    Little Red Riding Hood’s eyes widened in shock, this person… What are you talking about? Is she listening to fantasy stories, or has she gone to the wrong mental hospital?

    “You know the eighteen levels of hell (3), right?” the Dean asked.

    “Hmm.” Little Red Riding Hood nodded.

    “These eighteen levels of hell are used to keep ghosts who have made big mistakes in their lifetimes. In ancient times, there were many ghosts in the eighteen levels of hell. But in the past hundred years, especially in the last five to ten years, there have been more ghosts on the upper eight floors, especially the third floor, which can no longer be contained.” The dean sighed.

    “What kind of ghost is on the third floor?” Little Red Riding Hood asked curiously.

    “Suicide.”

    “In other words, more people have committed suicide in recent decades?” Little Red Riding Hood understood.

    “As expected, it is the employee I recruited. She is smart and knows everything.” The dean boasted.

    “…” Little Red Riding Hood didn’t know what to say, so she could only roll her eyes.

    “Our life is precious and our company was born under such a background.” The dean suddenly slapped the table, stood up, and asked, “Do you know what our company does now?”

    Little Red Riding Hood was stunned for two seconds, then went crazy shaking her head.

    “You don’t understand it? Honoring Life. I just want to tell the world to cherish life and not to commit suicide.” The dean pointed out.

    “Prevent others from committing suicide?” Little Red Riding Hood understood.

    “That’s right!”

    “Don’t you have a book of life and death in the underworld? If you prevent them from dying, can they die then?” Little Red Riding Hood doubted.

    “Can living with a negative attitude be the same as living with a positive attitude?” the dean questioned hatefully.

    “You mean, we have to save not only the body but also the soul?” Little Red Riding Hood asked.

    “Yes, it’s very simple, isn’t it?”

    “It’s so simple, so why don’t you do it yourself?” asked Little Red Riding Hood.

    “No, no, I’m not the same as you.” The dean said while pointing at her.

    “What’s different?.”

    “Because you are a dying person. At this moment, no one understands the value of life better than you. Come on, let’s pass on your feelings to your heart’s content.” the dean shouted passionately.

    “Dean, you wouldn’t have done pyramid schemes during your lifetime, right?” Little Red Riding Hood doubted as the dean looked overly excited.

    “Wrong, I was a poet during my lifetime,” the dean said with some pride.

    “So awesome, which one of the three hundred Tang poems (4) did you write?” Little Red Riding Hood was surprised.

    “Which one is not mine, I’ll die before you find it.”

    “You already died anyway (5).”

    “That’s right, eh, why did I hear you swearing.” The dean looked suspiciously at Little Red Riding Hood.

    “Cough… I mean it’s time, time.” Little Red Riding Hood explained with a guilty conscience.

    “Why do I tell you so much?” The dean handed Little Red Riding Hood the document he had just found in the filing cabinet and said, “Since you only have one month left to live, I will give you a mission with a higher life point. You will get one year of life points for completing this task.”

    “Come, sign here.” The dean handed the golden pen over, “Sign your name, you get your rewards as long as your task is finished within the next month. If the target commits suicide, you will automatically fail.”

    Little Red Riding Hood picked up the document suspiciously and looked at it. It was a very scary resume, and the host’s appearance was quite good, even seeing an inch of the photos could make a person melt. Little Red Riding Hood can feel the unstoppable threatening temperament of the handsome mission target.

    “Is a person with such an awesome appearance going to commit suicide?” Little Red Riding Hood was shocked.

    “That’s right, this person is sick, hurry up and treat him.” The dean urged again, “Come on, sign it, he is yours.”

    Little Red Riding Hood glanced at the handsome face in the photo, and then she glanced at the two huge Chinese characters next to him: Hui Lang.

    She raised her hand and signed her name.

t/n:

1. According to China Social Security System there are 5 mandatory insurance schemes (pension fund, medical insurance, industrial injury insurance, unemployment insurance, and maternity insurance) + a housing fund (only applicable to Chinese employees). You can read more about this here.

2. Xiao Hong Mao literally means Little Red Riding Hood.

3. If you want to read more about the 18 levels of hell, I will link it here.

4. The Three Hundred Tang Poems is an anthology of poems from the Chinese Tang dynasty (618–907). Here to read more.

5. The original text is 真是死的够早的 and I’m so curious what it means in context since the dean said she’s swearing. Can someone tell me what it actually means?