Chapter 16: What Shouldn’t Be

December 10th, 2022

Fang Li lifted his eyes dazedly.

In the darkness, Xie Huai’s eyes were heavy and dark and faintly reddened, gaze fixed on him like a carnivore about to devour flesh. His scorching palm was sealed against Fang Li’s wrist, his fingers pressing so fiercely that there was the crackling sound of joints.

The man who had always had a serene, indifferent appearance in the past, facing hundreds and thousands of demonic cultivators without a ripple on his face, was currently like a merciless wild beast. A bone-piercing chill seeped out towards Fang Li, making all of his hair stand on end.

This was his first time understanding so clearly and witnessing so intimately Xie Huai’s completely unconcealed killing intent.

He really wanted to kill him.

Fang Li held his breath, staying completely still.

When facing a wild beast on the verge of losing control who might tear you to pieces at any time, the first thing you should do is to avoid enraging it any further.

If he made a move against Xie Huai right now, whether he died or Xie Huai died, or they both went down together…… None of those were the result that he wanted.

It was precisely because he knew that Xie Huai was too dangerous during the flare-up period that he’d kept avoiding him, but seven days and nights had already passed, so why was Xie Huai still in this condition? Fang Li kept running over in his mind exactly where things had gone wrong, and his expression suddenly stiffened slightly. He seemed to have discovered where he’d slipped up—he’d overlooked a very, very, very tiny—detail.

In the original book, Xie Huai had appeared in control of the effects of the flare-up and hadn’t wavered in the least while facing Yan Sui, but after Yan Sui was done getting angry and being infuriated, he still had relations with Xie Huai every time. After all, from head to toe, the original story was about forceful love…… In other words, although Xie Huai hadn’t appeared to need it, Yan Sui had still in actuality helped Xie Huai get through the flare-up period and hadn’t let his condition persist for too long.

Fang Li had been too deeply affected by the original story. The book kept stressing how strong Xie Huai’s willpower was, as if restraining the love parasite’s flare-up was “easy.” His trust in Xie Huai had led Fang Li to subconsciously develop a kind of misconception that the flare-up period was nothing to Xie Huai, that it was useless, that it would be over if he bore it a little.

But looking at things now, that wasn’t the case.

It was only because Xie Huai was someone who never showed his feelings on his face and never revealed his weakness or pain in front of others. For example, when Yan Sui had broken every one of his bones and ruined his cultivation, his expression hadn’t changed either, but how could it really not have hurt?

Fang Li suddenly felt utterly guilty. Because of his temporary lapse, he’d made Xie Huai endure it for seven whole days more……

The Hehuan Sect sect master had said that once the love parasite flared up, without the owner’s help to relieve it, it was a pain worse than death.

There were only two methods of relieving it: the first was the kind of thing that Yan Sui did with Xie Huai, and the other was to use the owner’s own blood.

Without any hesitation, Fang Li prepared to pick the latter.

But the problem right now was…… Fang Li was afraid that as soon as he moved, Xie Huai would strike a killing blow……

Moreover, how could he persuade Xie Huai and make him believe that a devil who’d coerced him, imprisoned him, and fed him a love parasite didn’t have a shred of improper thoughts under these circumstances and only wanted to help him get past the flare-up period……?

Ugh, why not just kill him, then?

The System was first anxious, then surprised, then finally experienced the apathy of nirvana and started to persuade Fang Li.

【 System: Since it’s come to this, forget it, you might as follow the script? Look, he also has it pretty hard, you can just go with the flow…… It’s dark anyways, just close your eyes and pretend he’s a women and it’ll be fine. 】

【 Fang Li: Since it’s so simple, how about I give this body to you, and you do it? 】

【 The System said, embarrassed: I don’t have the functionality to control the host’s body. That option didn’t exist during factory installation. 】

【 Fang Li: So what you’re saying is, if you had the ability, you would decide to take over and give it a go? 】

【 The System hurriedly expressed: That’s not what I meant! How could I think that! 】

【 Fang Li said coolly: You aren’t even willing, and you want me to do it? Don’t you know to do unto others as you would want them to do you unto you? 】

【 System: …… 】 Wasn’t Xie Huai the beloved of the world that everyone adored? How come you’re making it sound like you’d be taking a huge loss……

The System couldn’t help sinking into perplexion again. Actually, it’d previously held a small, ulterior hope that the host would start to have wicked thoughts after seeing Xie Huai’s looks, and after interacting and interacting with Xie Huai, he’d become interested in him and obediently follow the script without needing its urging. However, it had discovered that it had been wrong, and hoping for the host to be led astray by lust was probably impossible in this entire lifetime. The System sighed grievously.

After bantering with the System for a bit, Fang Li also regained some calm. With the current state of things, worrying was of no use either. Moreover, even if he’d known about this ahead of time, what had to come would still come.

It couldn’t be avoided.

Xie Huai had been tormented for a full seven days, so wasn’t his sudden arrival just now like adding oil to the fire? It would definitely have provoked him, but he trusted that with Xie Huai’s willpower, and his immovable stone-cold heart, he would quickly be able to regain his rationality, and they would be able to communicate “amicably.”

Fang Li simply laid back in a relaxed, natural posture, attempting not to incite him any further so as to allow him to slowly let down his guard.

Xie Huai tightly gripped Fang Li’s wrist, lowering his head minutely. His reddened eyes were fixed unwaveringly on the pale, wan man before him.

He didn’t remember how long he’d been submerged and drifting in the darkness. At first, he’d faintly been aware of the passage of time, but later, he couldn’t differentiate night and day, he didn’t have the energy to tell what was going on around him. He was using all he had to restrain the strangeness that was permeating him thread by thread as if through the seams of his bones, as if it wanted to completely change him into a different person, into a different, unfamiliar, and wicked self……

He drowned in the bottomless sea bit by bit. Deep in the night, in the chilling solitude, every bit of change was so distinct and bone-cutting. Even after grinding him to dust over and over from his soul to his bones, none of it retreated in the least.

Endless and infinite, with no escape.

Not letting himself make a sound, not letting his expression change, not letting himself move his body. He was like a lifeless statue, completely still as he sank into hell…… this was the only thing he could do.

He was waiting…… for the culprit to arrive.

He thought, it should be soon.

If this was your goal, if this was what you wanted to see, then you’ll appear.

Every minute and second was infinitely long. Xie Huai told himself over and over, soon, soon…… But even when he could no longer distinguish time, when everything became indistinct, his consciousness gradually became chaotic, and his rationality was on the verge of collapse, that person still hadn’t appeared.

He wouldn’t come.

The moment Xie Huai realized that, he felt it utterly absurd.

That person hadn’t hesitated to bend down in order to seek his favor, had faked deep affection in order to lull him into complacency, had used up all of his tricks…… and finally fed him this so-called thing that would “make him like him.”

Now his goal was accomplished, but he wasn’t appearing.

Was there anything more ridiculous than this?

Or was it that that fiend only liked the process of playing with others’ hearts and wanted to see Xie Huai confused by him, wanted to see his appearance as he felt pain worse than death for him?

It seemed like other than this, there weren’t any other reasons.

And yet Xie Huai had actually believed him, had believed that he liked him.

He’d been fooled again.

This person was the one and only person in this world who could fool him over and over again.

Xie Huai’s eyes were suffused with blood, as if ice-cold killing intent were his very nature, as if he wanted to use his gaze to cut this wretched liar into a thousand pieces……

Even if this person’s arrival brought him an unprecedented attraction, enticing him to approach……

Like a spring breeze causing ripples on the vast sea, like soft light scattering the darkness, like the warmth melting a glacier, as long as he took one step closer, as long as he approached a tiny bit, he could escape from this endless hell and obtain paradise and rebirth.

Xie Huai lowered his head exceedingly slowly, his eyes darkening even more.

All of this was within your expectations, wasn’t it?

Xie Huai’s hands slowly gripped tighter, and he saw the person before him reveal a hint of pain, but he didn’t intend to release his grip, nor did he have the least pit of pity. Does it hurt? ……But this little pit of pain isn’t worth bringing up compared to everything I’ve been through.

This person always lived haughtily and extravagantly, always looking languid and carefree…… Sometimes, it made you forget that he was a ruthless, cold-blooded devil, and only made you see him as a spoiled, aristocratic young master.

He used precisely this kind of pretense to conceal his cruelest inner heart, naively cruel like a child……

Xie Huai’s fingers used so much force that they turned white, and the corners of his lips turned up in an ice-cold arc. He wanted to see how long he would bear it.

You should be getting angry, right?

As soon as you move even a hair’s breadth, I’ll strike first and kill you.

In the dead silence and darkness, there was only the sound of feather-light breathing to indicate the passage of time.

Again, and again, and again……

The pale man furrowed his brow in pain, his expression surprised and perplexed, then returned from his daze after a moment and forcefully resisted the pain to use a pair of innocent, clear eyes…… to look at him……

He didn’t move at all, only lying there quietly.

Xie Huai could feel the emaciated bones of the wrist in his palm, faintly trembling as it slowly relaxed, very cautiously, as if in fear of provoking him.

Not only did this person not move at all, not resist at all, but instead used a kind of…… completely unguarded posture to present himself before him.

Like prey that had given up resistance and sat awaiting its fate, presenting itself up as an offering.

Letting him do whatever he desired.

This person remained completely still, looking up at him, those eyes utterly clean without any desires or requests…… Although he hadn’t said a single word, he was using his eyes to say that he didn’t have any ill intent.

But, I have ill intent.

His last string of rationality snapped.

The darkness in Xie Huai’s eyes grew deeper, and amidst the ice-cold bloodthirst and killing intent, it seemed like there was some other, more dangerous thing mixed in……

Do you know or not, that using this kind of posture to face the me of right now…… what that means?

Or is it that you already like me to the point that you’ll go to any means to manipulate everything, just for the sake of offering yourself to me?

Xie Huai didn’t have the attention to spare anymore to think about whether this thought was even more absurd, more ridiculous than before.

He only stared fixedly at the person before him.

Fang Li relaxed his breathing until it was very, very slow, very, very light.

When facing a wild beast that wanted to kill you, fleeing, hiding, or resisting…… were all extremely dangerous actions.

So he only tried hard to meet Xie Huai’s eyes, using all of his might to express with his eyes that this was a misunderstanding! Let’s talk peacefully!

But Xie Huai evidently wasn’t easy to dupe, and he was definitely suppressing a bellyful of anger. Fang Li kept completely still with his eyes open, and because he’d kept his eyes open for too long, the corners of his eyes were sore enough that tears started to gather, but Xie Huai still gave no indication of being assuaged……

Fang Li thought, this time, he might’ve miscalculated.

It was all thanks to the fact that he’d had too much faith in Xie Huai that he hadn’t come to investigate on the second day, causing things to get to this point.

In Xie Huai’s shoes, he’d be equally angry.

Fang Li wholeheartedly accepted his failure.

The real world that had been patched whole was full of danger, with pitfalls everywhere, yet all he had in his hands was a brainless porn novel. The difficulty was truly not low. Only, he didn’t know whether, after he died, the System would be able to smoothly find a second host. Hopefully, the System would be able to maintain its optimism……

Fang Li’s thoughts started to drift further and further, and his expression started to slacken……

Suddenly, a scorching hot kiss fell on his lips.

Fang Li abruptly widened his eyes.

For a moment, his brain crashed and went completely blank.

What kind of development was this?

Xie Huai was willing to touch him? What was he doing? Didn’t it disgust him?!

Because he was overly shocked, the tears that had been gathering in his eyes for a while finally fell. Although it was only an unavoidable biological reaction from having his eyes open for too long, shedding tears was still a little bit disgraceful, and it didn’t fit his character profile, so Fang Li awkwardly closed his eyes.

But the man fettering him didn’t want to let him evade, and the taste of blood pervaded between their lips and teeth. Fang Li shuddered from pain for a moment, and the fingers that fell onto his neck slowly tightened, gripping his throat, making it hard for him to breath.

Was Xie Huai not actually kissing him, but had decided to kill him with this kind of method?

Devouring his flesh and blood, in the literal sense?

Wait a minute, with his blood, Xie Huai should be fine, right? Fang Li immediately calmed down. It looked like there really was always a way if you didn’t give up hope. Even without needing him to speak, Xie Huai had drank his blood, unexpectedly passing the flare-up period.

Fang Li only needed to bear with it for a bit longer, and it would be fine……

Xie Huai’s thoroughly red eyes looked at the person in front of him. The ashen pale man didn’t have the usual languid willfulness, but looked aggrieved and pitiful. Tears had fallen from the corner of his eyes, trailing past his exquisite, fragile face, disappearing along his temples…… He  seemed unwilling to open his eyes again because of humiliation and fury, only faintly trembling……

As if enticing him to take what he pleased.

Xie Huai’s throat bobbed.

An unprecedented thought arose without his control.

Fang Li was already almost unable to breathe, but his mind was completely calm, waiting patiently for an opportunity.

Quietly letting time pass……

Finally, Xie Huai seemed to relax slightly, like a wild beast that was certain that its prey wouldn’t resist anymore and slowly held back some of its killing intent, relaxing its guard somewhat and instead taking its pleasure……

That’s right, this was the moment—

Fang Li’s hand stealthily shifted to his side, and he suddenly struck Xie Huai aside with one hand.

As long as he got out, he wasn’t afraid Xie Huai would pursue him. This place was filled with his people!

Xie Huai was suddenly pushed aside, and his eyes darkened, but he didn’t pursue. After swaying slightly, he didn’t move any further, and only the bluish veins pulsing on the back of his hand, half-hidden under his sleeves, exposed his restraint.

Fang Li was long gone without a trace.

A chill spilled in from the open doors, blowing away the heavy scent in the room. He could clearly sense that everything that shouldn’t have existed was washing away like the tide, and that frightening, unfamiliar self was gradually disappearing. He had finally awakened from that nightmare, and everything was slowly returning to normal…… Only the sweetness of that kiss just now seemed to linger on his teeth and lips, refusing to disappear for a long while……

It was a taste he had never experienced before.

Rather than that seven days and nights that were like an endless hell, what made him feel more conflicted right now was—

He didn’t regret it, and even……

Wanted it to last longer.

Xie Huai raised his hand to cover his eyes. The corners of his lips lifted slightly in an odd arc as he gave a low laugh.

It’s good that you left.

If you hadn’t left, you might not even know of the things that I would do.

That was the first time that he’d felt such filthy, unbearable thoughts arise toward someone……

Was it only because he’d been affected by some foreign thing?

It probably wasn’t…

His rationality told him that this was a ruthless, cold-blooded devil, and they stood on irreconcilable sides; but his feelings told him that this person wasn’t as he appeared on the surface, and they didn’t need to be like this.

That moment of emotion won out over his reason.

There was nothing in this world that could control someone’s heart, and the body was merely a hollow vehicle. No matter how many reasons and excuses there were…… When all external influences were gone, he no longer had any way to deceive himself.

He didn’t actually loathe that person……

Xie Huai knew that he shouldn’t be like this, but the reality was, he felt something for that devil.

………………………………………

Fang Li: It’s all because my rose-tinted lenses for a certain someone were too thick : )

Xie Huai:: He loves me…… he loves me not…… he loves me…… he loves me not…… he loves me…… he loves me not……

Xie Huai: He might really love me.