Episode 46 – I like Rin

At the stage greeting, a car carrying Kotoha, Shizuku, and their manager was traveling from Shinjuku to Nagoya, the next stage greeting destination.

They go in a large car, with Kotoha in the first row from the back and Shizuku and her manager in the second row.
The car was already on the highway, and the navigation system told them they would be there in another hour.

Shizuku was scheduled to ride with another performer on the return trip, so this was the last time she could sit down and talk with Kotoha.
It seemed to her that the next one would be quite a bit further down the road again.

So Shizuku boldly asks Kotoha.

“Ah, um, Kotoha san!”
“Hmmm~, what is it~?”

Kotoha is 24 years old, whereas Shizuku is two years younger.
Yet, because actresses have more opportunities to appear in public than voice actors, their fame and popularity are very different.

So Shizuku asks nervously in a respectful tone.

But for some reason, she couldn’t contain her excitement any longer than that.

Kotoha seemed to have finished checking her schedule and responded in a relaxed manner.

“I-I need to ask you something!”

For some reason, she felt nervous about mentioning Kazashiro Rei’s name, but when she tried to ask her, she was still unafraid to ask.

“Is this about Rin kun?”
“Eh?”

Surprisingly, Kotoha was the first to mention Rin’s name.

Kotoha explains to Shizuku, who is puzzled because she does not expect Kotoha to mention the name, as if she is revealing something to her.

“I knew you were making an approach to Rin kun. Maybe you know this, but I go to Rin kun’s house sometimes.”
“…..”

Indeed, she knew. Kotoha’s visit to Rin’s house was also how she found out about Rin’s background.
But the fact that this is known to Kotoha means that Rin has told Kotoha.

While feeling some jealousy that Rin and Kotoha are such good friends, Shizuku tries not to show it and returns the words.

“Well, then, do you know what Nagishiro kun is up to these days?”

But Kotoha’s eyebrows lifted a little at those words.

“I don’t know …….”

Kotoha gives a thorny reply to Shizuku, who genuinely asks a question.

Shizuku feels uncomfortable with this attitude.

She could understand if she just didn’t know, but she didn’t understand why she was so grumpy.

“Was there something ……?”

Shizuku asked fearfully.
She wanted to avoid provoking her, but She simply couldn’t stop herself from asking questions because she was curious about what was going on.

“–it’s none of your business.”
“I’m curious. I don’t think I can do anything by asking, but tell me.”

Kotoha’s way of speaking set the mood in the car on a sour note, but Shizuku still held her ground.

It may have something to do with the fact that Kazashiro Rei has not been updating his videos lately.
There is no option to back down from the original drop.

Seeing such a straightforward Shizuku, Kotoha replies in a straightforward manner.

“[I’m quitting music] he said”

Kotoha looks pained to deliver that short line.
It represented her feelings.

But Shizuku, too, could not hide her bewilderment at the words said on her part.

“Stop music?”

When she asked back, this time Kotoha explained in detail, clutching tightly the earphone attached to her cell phone.

“A week or so ago, I got a line from him. It was very long for him.”

From there, she explained the contents of the line.

First of all, there was a massive amount of apology.
He said he was doing the unthinkable as a music provider, and he was sorry for being so selfish.

The main issue was that he was in a slump and could not seem to write songs, so he asked her to stop providing music.
The same information was emailed to her office and record label, so apparently he is serious.

He asked them to stop providing music for an indefinite period of time, and that he would not provide any more music in the future as a sign of his resignation since he would stop providing music for such an irresponsible and selfish reason.

Such was the content of the line Kotoha explained to her.

“…… is he ok?”
“I don’t know, I don’t know either.”
“to hold him back or something….”

After the line is explained, Shizuku asks a question.

She was curious about how Rin was doing now, but she thought Kotoha wouldn’t know that, so she asked another question.

But Kotoha does not like being asked questions like that.
Her irritation naturally manifests itself in every word she says.

“I did, of course I did. I tried calling him and telling him in person, but all he could do was apologize again. He even said, [Please make it stop, please.]”
“T-That kind of thing….”

Kotoha continues with her gaze down at the dark screen of her phone.

“But I also told him to come back, even though it might take a while. Write songs for me again.”

Kotoha laments sadly.

“But he says it’s impossible. …… He can’t write his own songs anymore.”

Kotoha’s voice is blurred with tears.
Unable to bear to see her so weak, Shizuku looks out the window.

But from there, Kotoha’s voice becomes small.

“This is …… your fault.”

She muttered.

And once the weir is cut, it is easy to break down emotionally.

“Because you seduced Rin kun, ……. You made him feel like a fool, so he couldn’t write songs!!!!

She spits the words at the drops, as if to vent her anger.

“You seduced him with your delusions of liking him, and you drove him into a slump!!!”
“E-Eh!?”

However, Shizuku, suddenly faced with the brunt of her anger, was unable to catch up with her thoughts due to the sudden turn of events.
She didn’t expect to be blamed by Kotoha.
It was unexpected for Shizuku that she would reveal such anger.

Kotoha mercilessly slaps a verbal tirade into Shizuku, who is dominated by such amazement.

“Do you like Rin kun? Don’t make me laugh. You’re only interested in him as a composer anyway!”

The words came from Kotoha in the same momentum of dissipated anger.

But She questioned that statement.

“Am I only interested in him as a composer?’

The absence of an idea cooled her rapidly heated thoughts.

The mood that was sentimental earlier now turns emotional.

“Me ……? Of course not! I, I, I …… really like him!”

Shizuku, her face a little red, shouts loudly.

She could see her manager sitting next to Shizuku with her eyes peeled back, but Shizuku ignored her.

“I like Kazashiro Rei too. But I like Nagishiro Rin!”
“Of course it’s a lie! Rin kun suffered from being caught in between reality and the fact that you only like him as a composer like tha!? See, I was right after all.”
“What do you mean by that!?”

The women’s words became more and more passionate, but there was no one here who could restrain them from arguing with each other.

“I told Rin kun. Choose a woman who will love Nagishiro Rin, not Kazashiro Rei.”
“??”

But, as expected, the words came to Shizuku’s head.

“Are you saying that I am crazy about Kazashiro Rei and not Nagishiro Rin?”
“Of course it’s a lie. How could someone who had never even met him in person fall in love with Rin kun?”
“No ! I liked his voice from the beginning, and when I met him, I liked his personality and even his face ……”

The very drop of a maiden’s face, shamelessly yet strongly assertive.

“Hmph, you’re lying. It’s easy to see that you’re just saying that.”

But Kotoha stubbornly refuses to admit it.

Angered by Kotoha’s attitude, Shizuku turned around from her earlier passive attitude and retorted harshly.

“Why are you so stubbornly refusing to acknowledge his own attractiveness? Isn’t that proof that you think you are only attracted to Kazashiro Rei, and not to Nagishiro kun yourself?”

At these words, Kotoha’s tongue, which had been spinning in anger, stopped.
Suddenly, the air inside the car freezes as if time has stopped.

“…What are you talking about”

Kotoha, perhaps not anticipating this rebuttal, asks back, a little less enthusiastic than before.

“I mean it as it is. Isn’t it because you only care about Kazashiro Rei? You think Nagishiro Rei is nothing more than an accessory to Kazashiro Rei!”
“H-Hey you!”

But then again, the temperature rises with Shizuku’s directness. The argument heated up. Or so it seemed.

For some reason, Kotoha, who had spoken logically earlier, was at a loss for words.
For some reason, Kotoha could not think of words to logically reply to the objection Shizuku was making.

In the meantime, the drops are folding.

“You’ve been worrying about the songs he’s going to play for you all day! What about Nagishiro kun? He is suffering from the trouble of not being able to write songs, and all you do is worry about the songs! Isn’t that right?”
“……..!!”

Shizuku speaks without a curtain.

She is not willing to give an inch in front of Kotoha, who is older than her and even more senior to her in the entertainment world.

“How many good things can you name about Nagishiro kun?”
“…… I-I think the same about Rin kun as I do about Nagishiro kun, and I don’t like either one in particular.
“Well then, if you really believe that, could you please not meddle in other people’s love lives? You only think of Nagishirokun as a tool to help you write songs.”

And at last Kotoha could not say it back.
She could not rule out that the seemingly harsh point made by Shizuku was not the case.

(I am…… I am….!!)

Kotoha, of course, wanted to say something back.
She has never once thought of Rin as a tool, and she likes Rin quite a bit if you ask her whether she likes her or not.

But …… was that really about Rin?

She was attracted to the songs he wrote, to the lyrics he wrote, and to his talent.

Then what about his face? What about his personality? Which of the elements that attracted him to her is present in Nagishiro Rin?

[Choose a woman who will love Nagishiro Rin, not Kazashiro Rei]

The words she uttered felt as if they were constricting her, making it hard to breathe.

All along, she thought that Shizuku was in love with Kazashiro Rei. She had thought that no one who would approach Rin would like his personality anyway.

So She knew it was not a good idea to let him get close, too close.
If he himself is not recognized, he will eventually go under.

But – it was her who was crushing it.

She kept the girl who liked Rin away from him, and yet she took advantage of Kazashiro Rei by pretending to be a stranger as if nothing had happened to him.

The person who had assumed that Rin was unattractive was her.

More and more, she was narrowing the scope of Rin’s existence, the meaning of his existence.

“….Ah”

(I suck. I suck.)

It’s no wonder Rin kun is so attached to her.

“Sorry…..Rin kun”

The voice of a frail little girl brought this commotion to an end.